


Closet Case

by he11ebore, sydmicky



Series: ccverse [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi is a Professional Dominant, Alternate Professions, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Aromantic, Aromantic Character(s), BDSM, Coming Out, Communication, Dom/sub Undertones, Edgeplay, Enthusiastic Consent, Everyone Is Gay, Finger kink, First Time, Flogging, Fluff and Angst, Gay Panic, Impact Play, Intercrural Sex, Just a lot of first times, Lack of Communication, M/M, Oho Foursome?, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Power Exchange, Queer platonic relationships, Safer Sex, Sexting, Spanking, Tsukki Is Learning, emotionally constipated idiots, safe sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-07-23 17:32:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 106,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7473357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/he11ebore/pseuds/he11ebore, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sydmicky/pseuds/sydmicky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Tsukki goes to a gay bar one town over, he never expects to see someone he knows. He definitely doesn't expect to let Kuroo drag him out of the closet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. May

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man, when he11bore and I started this, we never expected it to turn into the fucking monster is has become. A huge thanks to becauseISaidSo for being an amazing beta and being eternally patient with me while I yell at her about these idiots.
> 
> Happy KurooTsukki week!

Tsukki isn't sure this is a good idea. Actually, this is a _horrible_ idea.

The club isn't the only gay club in the city, hell, there's a gay bar two miles from his house, but the likelihood of seeing someone he _knows_ here seems smaller than at the others. Still, his glasses are firmly tucked in his pocket so that he can distance himself from what he's doing.

The music is oppressive and the lights make weird multicolored halos around people as they dance and grind. Tsukki can feel his mouth pull down in a scowl as he weaves his way through the mass of bodies to the bar.

Once there, he steadfastly ignores that the bartender is shirtless and orders two shots of tequila. The alcohol burns as he shoots one after the other, but there's no way in hell he’s going to be able to do this sober. He orders one more, just to be sure, and it's not long before he's swaying on the edges of the dance floor.

The tequila is warm and heavy in his stomach, but his head feels like it's fluffy, like it's made out of cotton. He ventures further onto the sticky dance floor, trying to copy the movements of the other people dancing. He's never been one for clubbing or dancing, but he must being doing something right because someone--a man going by the hard chest pressed into his back--comes up behind him.

Tsukki stiffens, not sure what to do, but the man behind him wraps a hand around his hip slowly, pressing gently with his fingers to keep Tsukki's hips in rhythm with his own. Tsukki closes his eyes, letting the alcohol keep his mind quiet as he lets his hips start to move on their own.

It's not long before Tsukki can feel the guy’s...interest growing against his ass and his stomach swoops. What if - no, no he pushes back against the images of dark, messy hair and wicked eyes. He specifically has come to this club so that he won’t run into anyone he knows. He leans back, closing his eyes and breathing, before he turns.

The other man might be handsome - Tsukki can't see for shit between not wearing his glasses and the flashing lights. He can see tan skin and dark hair, and it's harder to not think about a certain smirking bartender he sees several days a week. He fumbles for his glasses while the man says something, but he can't hear over the music. When he finally gets his glasses on he can't breathe.

“I didn't think this would be your kind of place, Tsukki,” the stranger says, his voice adjusting as the music changes from one song to the next. Tsukki whips his hands away from where they were reaching for the other ma- _Kuroo’s_ \- shoulders. He has to get out of here. He- shit, _shit_ he _has_ to get out of here. Kuroo’s next words are drowned out by the new song and Tsukki's own rapid breathing. He can't feel anything besides the sick panic in his chest.

If someone asked him, Tsukki wouldn’t be able to tell them how he manages to drive home without killing someone. The drive back to his and Yamaguchi’s apartment passes in a haze, and it’s not until he’s safely locked in his room that he realizes his eyes are burning and his cheeks are wet. He manages to choke back his sobs long enough to listen for Yamaguchi, but after a few long moments of silence, Tsukki lets himself go, lets the panic and fear swallow him up as he collapses onto his bed.

\---

When Tsukki wakes up the next morning, with puffy eyes and a headache, his first thought is: _Who has Kuroo told?_ It’s no secret that the bartender is a horrible gossip. The older man is always gossiping to customers at the bar, so it won’t be long until he’s telling his friends and the patrons who he saw at a gay club. Tsukki’s skin crawls at the thought. He wasn’t even ready to admit this shit to _himself_ , much less have the entire town know.

He looks at his calendar, and realizes that it’s Sunday. No work then, but he's supposed to play at The Crow's Nest with Akaashi tonight. Yamaguchi has a wedding today, so he’s not going to be home until late, if he comes home at all.

“You fucking idiot,” he mumbles as he forces himself to get up. Wondering about Kuroo is pushed to the back of his mind as he turns his thoughts towards breakfast. He has no intentions of leaving the house today, or tomorrow for that matter, with the exception of going to work. He shoots a text to Akaashi to let the other man know he's not going to be able to play tonight and then turns his phone to silent.

\---

One day of secluding himself in his apartment turns into two, three, five, and it starts getting harder to ignore the reason why he hasn’t been to the bar in nearly a week.

\---

When Kuroo enters Ace Bakery, he may or may not be expecting a certain tall blond closet case to come in as well. He’d used his connections as a bartender (as well as _other_ connections) to figure out Tsukki’s frequent haunts after the blond hadn’t turned up to the bar in a week -- this particular lead was thanks to Kuroo’s own ex-sweetie Daichi, who said his friend Asahi owns the local bakery and sees the bespectacled blond weekly.

Kuroo is exchanging small talk with said baker at the counter when Asahi’s attention flits to the door, and Kuroo is a little surprised at how quickly nerves take over this large, powerful-looking man. He reaches under the counter and sets out a box, then excuses himself from their small-talk and flees _(flees!)_ to the kitchen as Kuroo turns to see Tsukki in the doorway, obviously having stopped after coming into the bakery.

Tsukki turns on his heel to leave.

“Wait!” Kuroo nearly shouts. “I haven’t told anyone!”

Tsukki glances at the abandoned pastry counter, with his purchase ready to go.

“Bullshit,” he snaps, striding easily past Kuroo, who slinks up to the counter just as Tsukki gets his hands on the box. The comfort with which he occupies Tsukki’s space must be infuriating, seen as how the blond’s face is twisted into a hard scowl and his shoulders are tense.

“Half the town is queer,” Kuroo says in a stern but hushed tone. “I didn’t say anything, but you shouldn’t be afraid to.”

“You don’t know _anything_ about me,” Tsukki spits, turning his glare from the pastry box to Kuroo.

"You know that defensive attitude is a side effect of repression right?"

Instead of answering, Tsukki seems to force himself to roll his eyes and he goes to leave. He doesn’t manage to hide his grimace when Kuroo follows, and doesn’t _try_ to hide his scowl when Kuroo has the nerve to keep talking at him.  Tsukki walks faster.

"You know you can’t hide who you are forever right?"

Tsukki stops in his tracks and leans away from Kuroo, who situates himself easily in front of Tsukki and is leaning towards him. Kuroo makes sure that he’s not wearing his usual cheshire grin, and that his stance isn’t dominating their shared space. He wants Tsukki to know that he’s being genuine.

"There’s a whole community to catch you."

Tsukki shoulder checks him slightly as he walks out the door.

\---

Tsukki _knows_ there’s an entire community of queer people around him. He’s having a hard time thinking of anyone that he socializes with, outside of some people from work, that aren’t part of the queer community. He _knows_ this. He can’t recall how many times he’s told himself what Kuroo told him today, under the cover of darkness, when he could no longer distract himself from his own thoughts.

Tsukki holds the pastry box with shaking fingers as he digs around for his keys. He lets himself into his and Yamaguchi’s apartment and tosses the box on the counter, leaving it for later. Yamaguchi isn’t home yet, so Tsukki only has his thoughts to keep him company as he slumps onto his couch.

“‘You shouldn’t be afraid’... fuck off, Kuroo,” Tsukki grumbles. Kuroo doesn’t know that Tsukki came out, once. He’d been nine, confiding in his elementary school best friend, who already seemed to be interested in girls, but, when he asked Tsukki why he didn’t seem to be interested too, the blond could only shrug, fear piercing him for the first time as his best friend’s face morphed into shock and then disgust. He can recall Yuto’s voice perfectly when he said, “I’m going to tell everyone to stay away from you! You’re so _gross_ , Tsukishima!”, even after all these years.

He thinks about maybe coming out now, as an adult, so much surer of himself that he was, with Yamaguchi here to catch him if he ends up breaking apart into a thousand pieces.

But then it's all too easy for Tsukki to warp Kuroo's easy flirting and smug smirks into something malicious, and he feels like he can't breathe well.

It's just easier, safer, to stay deeply buried in the closet than to accept the flirting that he thinks might be serious. Kuroo isn't like the other people that pass through Tsukki's life; he's harder to read.

“When the hell did I start to care what he thinks of me?” Tsukki wonders aloud, and the fact that he doesn't know might be the scariest part.

Tsukki pushes himself up and goes to the  kitchen. Yamaguchi won't mind if he eats his half of their tiramisu. He flips open the pastry box. He orders the same things every week: tiramisu for he and Yamaguchi to share on friday night, and a chocolate cornet for the morning. Today, there’s an extra item in the box. It looks like a sugar cookie, and Tsukki wrinkles his nose a little as he reaches into the box and takes out the offending cookie; he’s not a fan of sugar cookies, and this one doesn’t even have--

“What the fuck?”

The back side of the cookie is plain, but the front is covered with sprinkles, the colors arranged in rainbow order. Tsukki thinks back to the bakery, the box waiting for him on the counter, Asahi strangely gone (they usually share a couple of short pleasantries before Tsukki leaves) and Kuroo standing there, waiting for him.

“Didn’t fucking tell anyone my ass,” Tsukki growls, taking the cookie and throwing it in the trash. After it’s done, the cookie broken into a few pieces, Tsukki feels a little silly. Part of him thinks _It’s just a cookie_ , but it’s the fact that Kuroo would have had to have ordered it and slipped it in Tsukki’s box. What if...what if he’d _told Asahi_? Tsukki feels heat in his face and he leaves the pastry box, heading for his room and burying himself and his anxiety under his blankets to wait for Yamaguchi to come home.

\---

Tsukki likes to think that he and Akaashi are friends. Well, maybe not friends, but, work friends. They play at weddings together, and then at the bar a couple of times a week. The point is, they’re usually friendly with each other. They get along well.

Right now Tsukki hates the violinist. The blond had managed to successfully avoid Kuroo for two full weeks, and yes, he’s cancelled on Akaashi and their bar gig a few times, but, really, threatening to find a new partner seems a little extreme.

Tsukki manages to play well, considering the fact that he can feel Kuroo looking at him. He keeps his eyes on his music, accepts water that Bokuto brings over, and stays in his corner of the bar. By last call, he thinks he might be able to escape without Kuroo talking to him at all. That is until he’s packing up and Kuroo comes over. Tsukki glances around to find that they’re alone, Bokuto and Akaashi having gone to the back office.

“Hey, Tsukki, can I get you something to drink?” Kuroo asks, his tone casual. Tsukki remembers that tone from the bakery and his anger comes back fresh and hot.

“Yeah, sure, you can get me a Fuck Off, Kuroo,” Tsukki drawls, his voice sharp. Kuroo looks taken aback at his words.

“Excuse me?” he asks.

“I said, fuck off,” Tsukki snaps. He closes his cello case and sits it up before gathering his sheet music.

“What the hell did I do to you?” Kuroo asks, his own voice growing sharp edges.

“You lied to me!” Tsukki says, finally turning to look at Kuroo fully. He looks amazing; anger and frustration is a great look for him. “‘I didn’t tell anyone’, bullshit,” Tsukki spits. His hands are shaking as he shuffles his sheet music and slips it into his bag.

“ _I didn’t_ ,” Kuroo insists and Tsukki snorts.

“Yeah, okay, then where did the fucking cookie come from?” he asks. Kuroo has the audacity to look confused.

“Cookie?” he asks, and god, fuck him for looking so damn convincing. Before Tsukki registers what he’s doing, he grabs Kuroo’s shirt and pulls him close, making his thinner frame as big as he can against the older man.

“Yeah, the fucking rainbow cookie, that I didn’t order but ended up in my box anyway! You’re so full of shit! You’re trying to out me!” Tsukki growls, his fingers clenching in Kuroo’s shirt. The bones in his hands ache.

“I didn’t do anything,” Kuroo says, his expression infuriatingly neutral, “but if it gets you to be so forward with me, I’ll _gladly_ take the credit.” By the time he’s finished, his neutral expression has been replaced with a suggestive smirk, and Tsukki can’t think clearly, _obviously_ , because a second later he finds himself pressing his mouth to Kuroo’s. It’s too hard, too clumsy and awkward and forceful, to be called a kiss. Tsukki is breathing hard when he finally gets his wits about him and pulls back.

Kuroo is frozen, looking at Tsukki with wide, shocked eyes. Tsukki can see anger start to creep in the edges of Kuroo’s eyes and he can feel hot embarrassment in his face and crawling up to his ears as he stares back. The world seems to speed up as he grabs his cello case and his bag, running out the door as quickly as he can without bumping into tables.

“What was that?” he hears Akaashi ask and _god_ , why was he so stupid. He doesn’t hear Kuroo’s reply over the sound of the door shutting behind him.

\---

Tsukki doesn’t run the _entire_ way to his apartment, it’s not possible with his bag and cello, but he wishes he could. He doesn’t feel fully safe until the apartment door closes behind him with a resounding _thunk_.

“Tadashi?” he calls for his roommate, and, for once, hopes there isn’t an answer. He waits a few long breaths and once he’s sure Yamaguchi is either asleep or not in the apartment, he deposits his cello and bag before trotting to his room.

Tsukki isn’t sure if he’s ever felt this hot in his entire life. His heart is beating too fast, and not just from his fast pace coming home. He closes his door behind him and locks it, sinking against the wood and trying to breathe deep without thinking of _anything_ , especially a certain bartender, for too long. He’s been successfully ignoring the memories of having Kuroo pressed against him, hard in every way imaginable, but now they come flooding back, making heat pool in his stomach.

For a second he entertains the thought of ignoring the growing need of arousal, of forcing himself to think about something that will make his hard-on go away, but he’s too tired.

“Fuck it,” he sighs, letting down some of his walls and letting the memories flood in while he unzips his pants. Kuroo’s hands on his hips, guiding his own, _fuck_ . He wonders if Kuroo’s fingers would be hot against his skin, or if his fingers tend to be cold. His head tips back and he imagines what Kuroo might do to the skin on his neck, if he’d leave marks or, or perhaps ignore his neck entirely for _other_ parts of him.

His hand teases his cock, his body still cramped together against his door. Getting up and making himself comfortable in his bed seems like so much effort, but he does let his legs stretch out in front of him, finally giving himself enough to get his hand around his cock fully. He moans at the relief it gives him.

“Fuck, Ku-roo,” Tsukki moans, his voice breaking. He remembers the way Kuroo’s erection felt on his ass, through all their layers of clothing, and wishes that he knew what Kuroo’s skin felt like. Kuroo works with his hands, either in the tattoo shop or at the bar, so they would probably be _rough_ , but not unpleasantly so. Tsukki’s hand works faster and he swipes his thumb over his slit, collecting some precum to make the slide more comfortable.

“Oh, fuck,” Tsukki keeps his voice quiet out of habit, muffling the sound on the back of his hand. He can already feel himself starting to teeter on the edge when he thinks of Kuroo’s face in the bakery, of his gentle tone when he said that there would be people to catch Tsukki, implying that _Kuroo_ might be one of them. It’s with that expression in mind, Kuroo’s voice ringing in his ears, that he tips over the edge, coming over his hand.

“Ah, hnn...ku--”

He bites the back of his hand to keep quiet. He rides out his orgasm, shuddering and gasping as his mind and body unravels. He pants into the silence of his room and waits for the aftershocks to pass.

“Holy fuck,” Tsukki gasps, when his mind comes back together, “Fuck, I’m gay.”

\---

Tsukki decides to start small. Baby steps, that’s what you’re supposed to do with big life changes, right? Baby steps.

He said it to himself, and now, sitting across from him at dinner, Tsukki is going to come out to his best friend and life partner, Yamaguchi Tadashi. Yamaguchi won’t turn on him, leave him for who he is. Tsukki is aware that his fears are incredibly irrational when it comes to his roommate. Yamaguchi is gay, so why the hell is Tsukki worried that the freckled man will reject him?

“Tsukki...is there something wrong?” Yamaguchi asks. Tsukki jumps and realizes that he hasn’t said a single word to his roommate. He’s usually quiet, happy to let Yamaguchi fill the silence with work gossip, but he’s never _this_ quiet. Yamaguchi is looking at Tsukki with obvious concern.

Tsukki forces himself to take a deep breath, and another when he still can’t make himself speak.

“I...I’m gay, Tadashi,” Tsukki says, his voice quiet and weak in his own ears. His hands are shaking and he presses them against the table to try and make them stop.

 _I know that,_ Yamaguchi thinks. He's seen how disinterested in girls Tsukki’s always been, the way he reacts when they flirt versus, say, Kuroo’s flirting, even flirting back when it was bar banter. But seeing as Tsukki is _trembling_ from nerves coming out to his (openly gay) partner, _I know_ is not the thing to say.

“Thank you.”

“Wai-what?” Tsukki finally looks up from his shaking hands.

“Thank you for telling me, Kei. For trusting me,” Yamaguchi says with a soft smile. “I’m here for you, like always.”

Tsukki doesn’t know what to say to that. He feels overwhelmed by how much he loves his friend, who has always been there for him, even in high school when he was kind of horrible. He feels heat in his eyes and blinks quickly, looking down at his food.

“.... Tsukki, are you crying?”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

There's a second of tense silence before they both begin to giggle. Tsukki wipes the welling tears from his eyes and _actually_ smiles at Yamaguchi.

\---

 _It’s not fair_ , Tsukki thinks, _for someone doing something so mundane to be so sexy_.

He peers into the bar through the small window in the door, watches Kuroo polish glasses in an otherwise empty bar. He takes a breath and levels his expression, then pushes the door open --

\-- or not. He glares at the door, mildly horrified, to find it locked. He ignores the voice in him saying to _go home_ , and knocks. Nothing. Too soft, he supposes, so he gives it another, more firm rasp.

Kuroo jumps (but doesn’t let the glass fall) and eyes him warily as he approaches and unlocks the door.

“Are you going to assault me with your mouth and then run away again?”

Tsukki visibly winces at Kuroo’s dry tone, but saves it by turning it into a look of disgust. The blush that spreads across his face and up to his ears gives him away, though.

He clenches his fists at his sides, looks past Kuroo’s shoulder. "Can I come in?"

Kuroo looks out at the street and then back to the blond. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

His brow quirks when Tsukki forces a short breath out of his nose, looks Kuroo in the eyes. Kuroo doesn’t recall ever seeing someone so simultaneously scared and determined.

“This isn’t really a conversation I’m ready to have in the open.” Tsukki swallows hard. “...please.”

Kuroo raises his brows incredulously, but pushes the door open and holds it so that Tsukki can slip inside. He makes sure to re-lock the deadbolt so that they aren’t disturbed, then goes behind the counter and gestures for Tsuki to take a seat.

Tsukki assumes the glass Kuroo picks up is just one to polish, but instead it’s in front of him and filled with whiskey and coke, Tsukki’s drink of choice. Tsukki glances to Kuroo’s face, which has something new in its features. Understanding? He sighs, takes a breath, speaks.

“I didn’t know it was you….at that club.”

The shock on Kuroo’s face is real this time. Tsukki plays in a string duet with Akaashi at the bar, after all. They aren’t strangers. They banter (not tension-free, either) weekly, and Kuroo pegged Tsukki as sharp and calculating.

“That’s a little surprising.”

“Well _obviously_ I recognized you once I put my glasses on,” the blond scoffs, offering a weak glare, “I meant before, when you - when we were - were dancing.”

"Well, _I_ recognized _you_. And I was....excited to see you there." Kuroo smirks, "And to dance with you."

Tsukki ducks his head to tries and hide his red cheeks, hunching up his shoulders a little because that's his first instinct, to hide this part of himself…. but he can't stop the small nervous smile that plays at his lips.

"I wasn't ready that night, I- I'm barely ready now, even though I know none of my friends are even remotely straight…” He trails off, not even sure what he's trying to say.

"Now now,” Kuroo interjects, smooth and honest, “I wouldn't say 'not even remotely straight!' I get a little bi-curious sometimes…”

Tsukki snorts. “Oh, well then I guess we're saved." His gaze rests firmly on his glass. He hasn't touched it yet, but having something else to look at is a comfort. "I don't know how to do this. God, that idiot Bokuto is better at this than me, which is a little pathetic--”

"My goodness, Tsukki, are you trying to think of how to hit on me?" Kuroo gasps, all faux-shock and scandal.

Tsukki scoffs and pushes himself up so that he's not leaning on the bar, supporting himself on his hands, and says "God, no, I can hit on someone - but how Bokuto managed to get into Akaashi's pants is completely beyond me-” his eyes go wide realizing what he just insinuated, “-not that I want! That, to-”

"Ohoho ho? You don’t? I must have misunderstood, see, I was going to ask if you had plans late tonight." Kuroo sighs and turns away. "But since you don’t seem to need my help, or want my...input" he glances saucily over his shoulder, "I just don’t see what else I could do to - for you."

“Isn't tonight a little fast, even for you?" Tsukki snaps, hoping to drive away his nerves and the hot feeling of _want_ in the pit of his stomach at the mere thought of going through with what Kuroo is suggesting.

Kuroo picks up a glass and twists a rag around the rim mindfully before setting it on the back counter.

"Honestly, if things hadn’t gotten all," he waves his hand in a circle vaguely, "I'd have probably suggested you and I left the bar together that night.” He pauses for a moment before continuing, “I may be...provocative, but I'm not here for having sex with someone who doesn't really want it. So consider the offer outstanding. Take it or leave it, no consequences."

Minutes go by before Tsukki nods. He can’t think of anything to say, so he stands.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Tsukki says as he rises, offering Kuroo a small wave and a see-you, and leaves before he can make any bad decisions.

\---

“What do I do, Tadashi?”

“Hit that.”

Tsukki glares at his life partner for being so blunt and unhelpful.

“I've never even kissed anyone! W-well...not _really._ What am I supposed to do now?"

Yamaguchi looks _offended._ “I thought you kissed that one girl who had a crush on you in junior high! And wait, what do you mean _not really_?”

Tsukki blushes and smashes his face into the couch cushions, admits his lie, then explains what happened the night he kissed Kuroo at the bar.

He then shoves a very boisterously giggling Yamaguchi off of the couch.

“S-shut up, Yamaguchi!” Tsukki shouts, and it’s definitely not a whine, “The thought of...being intimate...with Kuroo scares me! I want it! But I don’t know what to do! I mean, I- I know..what goes where….” (Yamaguchi can’t help but smile fondly at how very beet red Tsukki is becoming) “b-but who tops?! What order do you do things in? Do you just - leave?”

“Porn?”

Tsukki looks away, and Tadashi is afraid he might explode. Tsukki’s mouth opens, then closes, and he just shakes his head.

“Look, if Kuroo is as experienced as you imply, wouldn’t he be used to taking the lead? Probably even enjoy it?”

Tsukki’s blush fades as his mind works. He had been thinking of _himself_ and what _he_ would do, and managed to lose sight of exactly who it is that offered to take his gay virginity.

He scrunches his nose at ’take his gay virginity.’

“Yknow,” Yamaguchi continues, “You don’t have to have penetrative sex right away. There’s other stuff to do.”

Tsukki actively tries not to think of why Yamaguchi seems to know so much about this. He knows that Tadashi is gay, and that he’s... _active_ , but just how active, he prefers not to imagine. But his words put Tsukki somewhat more at ease. Maybe he’ll be able to think a little more clearly in Kuroo’s space now.

\---

Tsukishima Kei absolutely cannot think clearly in Kuroo Tetsurou’s space.

He could do without the butterflies that threaten to burst out of his abdomen while he plays cello. This wasn’t a problem before. He, with Akaashi on violin, plays at the bar weekly, and occupies Kuroo’s space, and it’s never been like this, it’s never been so very tense. He’s distracted.

So distracted that he hardly registers Akaashi migrated to the bar. Ah, break time. He steels himself and, instead of going to where Akaashi is pretending not to be interested in Bokuto, he goes to the end of the bar nearest him, where Kuroo is alone, doing some dishes.

Tsukki sits on the edge of one of the bar stools.

"I don't want to have sex," he whispers.

“Oho-”

“-not...not tonight.”

Kuroo quirks a brow, interest piqued.

"Then what can I do for you, _Tsukishima_?"

Tsukki pretends he didn’t just shudder at the subtle purr of his name on Kuroo's lips. His ears feel hot, his chest is going to burst, but he has to do this, so he looks Kuroo in the eye, steadies his breath, and-

"Show me how to be gay.”

Tsukki decides he likes making Kuroo laugh, which he does, goofy and genuine, not a shred of malice or cunning to be seen. Akaashi passes him, returning to his instrument, so Tsukki turns as well.

“H-honestly,” he says over his shoulder, “what are you, uh, doing tonight?”

Kuroo looks into the distance as if recalling his schedule, grins at the way Tsukki rolls his eyes.

"I'm off at one. And I make amazing breakfast.”

It might be the sluttiest thing Tsukki’s ever heard Kuroo say.

\---

Tsukki can’t remember a time he’s made so many mistakes. Akaashi is being suspiciously understanding about it, keeping time as if he were expecting the missed notes and time changes. Unlike last time, though, these nerves are from excitement, not anxiety or dread.

“You go on, I’m gonna stick around,” Tsukki says to Akaashi, as they pack up their instruments.

“Um...Me too.”

Tsukki looks up to Akaashi, whose expression is his usual flat, tired default but his cheeks are rosy. Tsukki imagines it’s from the wine Bokuto kept sending him.

All but two lights go out in the bar,  and when Bokuto and Kuroo come back out front, Tsukki is stunned. The two men are radiating confidence and desire. Tsukki doesn’t find Bokuto very attractive, but where he’s usually obnoxious and loud, all Tsukki sees is enduring strength, his powerful body.

He looks to Akaashi, expecting to see him wearing the same stunned expression Tsukki is. Instead, Akaashi looks downright _starving_ , leering at Bokuto as if he were made of steak.

Okay, so the rosy tint to his cheeks is _definitely_ not the wine.

Tsukki swallows hard, shoves that feeling away, and directs his attention to Kuroo, whose aura is sultry, intelligent, smooth. He feels his mouth water and cheeks flush.

A voice in the back of his mind points out that _hey, this being gay thing is pretty damn amazing._

Bokuto takes Akaashi’s hand, kisses it, and Akaashi doesn’t afford Tsukki a backwards glance as they leave. Bokuto, however, points a finger gun at Kuroo, who returns the gesture with a wink.

These idiots.

“You ready?” Kuroo asks, hoping Tsukki will take both meanings.

Tsukki actually jolts a little, his cheeks burn bright, and he averts his eyes when he nods. He force his gaze back to Kuroo, eyes eager.

\---

It’s a short, pleasant walk to Kuroo’s place. Tsukki was thankful that it was mostly silence -- they both worked and appreciated a few moments of quiet. Tsukki sets his bag and cello next to the door. Kuroo offers to make tea.

“You don’t seem like the type to drink tea...” Tsukki says as he approaches the kitchen island, sitting on one of the high stools.

“Tea with honey is good for the voice and throat,” Kuroo explains, setting two cups on the counter each with a small tag on a string. As Tsukki reaches for his cup, Kuroo leans in slowly, as if he were offering Tsukki a chance to lean away (he doesn’t). “Does wonders to prevent damage from overuse, shouting...or moaning. And screaming.”

Tsukki can’t breathe, he can hear the grin in the other man’s voice, and before Tsukki can catch his breath Kuroo is leaning back to sip his tea, making eye contact with the now blushing blond. His tongue peeks out of his mouth and runs up the side of his cup, licking away a drip of honey.

If Kuroo served tea with saucers, Tsukki’s would be chattering against his cup like in a cartoon. A far away voice wants to be snide and mean, but he shoves that down, bites his lip. Now’s not the time for that, he can’t lose to Kuroo at this game.

“I- I guess it’s good that you’re drinking it then.”

Kuroo smirks, obviously not as proud as Tsukki because he concedes in favor of leaning in to kiss him. Tsukki leans into it, and Kuroo’s kiss is soft, cautious, slow, as if asking for more information. Tsukki can't help but make a weak noise and kisses back, just enough to encourage Kuroo to take the lead.

 _Wait, what am I supposed to be doing with my hands?_ Tsukki thinks, but then Kuroo is drawing back and Tsukki pretends he didn’t lean forward to follow his warmth. He shakes it off and looks away.

They finish their tea in comfortable silence.

Kuroo collects the cups, walks around the counter and kisses Tsukki again, this time allowing more passion to cross his lips. A little tongue, a hum of satisfaction, a hand gently resting on Tsukki’s waist and then a finger slinking to hook Tsukki’s belt. Kuroo pulls him to his bedroom.

 _This is happening,_ Tsukki thinks, beginning to feel panic prickle across his skin. Every conceivable scenario flashes through his mind, threatens to overwhelm him, until Yamaguchi’s words come forward. He’d said, “Do what you imagine him doing when you’re alone.”

Kuroo’s room is neater than he had expected it would be. He takes it in as he sits down on the bed, nervous, avoiding looking at Kuroo. He sees lube and condoms on the nightstand and is visibly flustered. He hears the door close and looks up to see Kuroo approaching him. He can’t help but go stiff, and not in the ideal way.

Kuroo stands in the space between Tsukki’s knees, He runs his fingers through Tsukki’s hair and down his neck, squeezes his shoulders.  
  
“Now, now,” he drawls softly, “you were so smooth in the kitchen. You look so tense, is it me?”

Tsukki scoffs, like anything makes Tsukki tense the way Kuroo does. Kuroo motions for Tsukki to get up on the bed a little more, and he obliges. Kuroo’s knees come to either side of Tsukki’s thighs, straddling him. His hips work in luscious circles and his skilled, confident hands roam Tsukki's chest, shoulders, and neck.

Tsukki once again wonders what to do with his hands, and the only idea he has is to cover his mouth so that he doesn't make a fool of himself via embarrassing noises. He tries to grind back, but he's too tense, he's trying too hard.

After a few (awkward) minutes Kuroo lets his arms rest on Tsukki’s shoulders.  
  
“What’s on your mind?”

Tsukki presses the heels of his hands into forehead and mumbles, "I've just never done this..."

“I figured. Why are you nervous?"

Kuroo trails his fingers across Tsukki’s jaw line, appreciating the shudder that follows from the blond. Tsukki looks to the side and takes his glasses off, both because they would get in the way and to distance himself a little.

“You weren’t nervous your first time?” he mutters.

"Everyone is. But I was nervous about specific things." Kuroo wraps his arms under Tsukki's, around his torso, and digs his fingertips skillfully into Tsukki’s shoulders from behind. "If you can pinpoint what you're nervous about, I can help you relax and make you feel good."

Tsukki moans for just a moment before he cuts himself off, closing his eyes and trying to take a deep breath. He flails his hands, trying to articulate "everything" without words, but after a minute he stares at the ceiling and says, "I don't want- I'm going to make a fool of myself..." He exhales, looks at Kuroo, "...and probably disappoint you."

"You know," Kuroo drawls, "for someone so put together and aloof all the time, you're surprisingly genuine when you want to be." He didn't miss that moan, so he continues to work at Tsukki's shoulders. He makes his way up to Tsukki's neck, alternating pressing his thumbs into Tsukki's tight muscles on either side of his neck.  “You won’t disappoint me.”

“But I don’t even know how to-“

"Stop hiding, for starters," Kuroo retorts, taking Tsukki's hands and bringing them around his neck. "Your reactions are incredible. I want to hear them." He kisses Tsukki confidently, taking the lead, being an example. "What do you think of when you see me? When you touch me?" he asks between kisses.

Tsukki resists the urge to bring his arms back, instead pulling Kuroo closer so that he can't see him as well, can't become completely overwhelmed by him. He whimpers at the questions, closing his eyes against the wave of embarrassment at the sound.

"I- you're infuriating," he starts, following Kuroo's kisses with clumsy attempts of his own. "You make me- I feel like I'm on fire, but I don't want it to stop.” He curls his fingers into the mess Kuroo calls his hair.

"Mmmh, and it looks like you're a quick study.”

Tsukki can feel his cheeks flare and his neck get hot at the thought that he could possibly have this kind of effect on Kuroo, and he turns his face away from the smile playing at Kuroo’s lips. That smile that shoots straight to his dick, which strains embarrassingly eager against his zipper after what boils down to light petting. He lets his hands roam down, pause between the gap that Kuroo's shirt makes above his pants, before deciding that he wants to see if Kuroo's tan stretches all over. He glances up at Kuroo’s blown pupils and unmoving chest, then back at where his fingers have pushed the fabric up, just enough to reveal a promising trail of hair below Kuroo's navel.

 _Fuck_.

"Do I get points deducted for going back and checking my work?"

Kuroo shudders an exhale. “So long as you're putting forth the effort..."

Tsukki snorts a little, pushing himself up so that he can pull at Kuroo's shirt more easily, revealing luscious skin inch by inch. He doesn't try to control the erotic noises escaping him this time as he leans forward to press a shy kiss to the center of Kuroo’s chest. It draws out a soft moan from him that Tsukki can feel against his lips.

He pulls back and pushes at Kuroo's shirt until it's bunched beneath his armpits and lets out a frustrated noise.

"This needs--this has to go," he snaps absently.

"Y-yeah, yours too," Kuroo responds before discarding his shirt, revealing his fit expanse of tan flesh.

It takes Tsukki and honest to god minute before he realizes Kuroo even said anything. Kuroo's chest is very...distracting.

He grabs the bottom of his own shirt, letting Kuroo's stammer firm his resolve, and pulls it over his head in one move, tossing it somewhere behind him. He barely resists the urge to cover himself with his arms, instead opting to lean back, reclining on his elbows and taking in the view of Kuroo's upper body.

It's better than he could have imagined.

"You seemed more eager before..." Tsukki half jokes, giving Kuroo an out, he supposes, just in case he doesn't like what he sees.

More than anything he wants Kuroo's hands back on him, but he can't say something so embarrassing out loud.

Kuroo ignores Tsukki. He stares down, absolutely thirsty, wanting to drink in every inch of Tsukishima Kei's flesh. His arms are _killer_ (to be expected of a cellist) and while he knew he signed up for long, lean, and pent-up, Kuroo hadn’t considered that Tsukki took incredible care of his body.

Tsukki flushes under Kuroo's gaze, hunching his shoulders and clenching his fists. He bites his lip and looks past Kuroo's stomach, unable to handle to look in Kuroo's eyes--hungry, overwhelming.

"Can I touch you?" Kurro breathes, hands hovering over Tsukki's hips, waiting for permission.

Tsukki can feel the heat radiating from Kuroo's fingers, and he lifts them into his hands, letting out a soft "please.”

Kuroo’s self-control, every hope of holding back for Tsukki’s sake, melts. His touch is commanding as his hands slide up Tsukki’s chest. He shifts to allow one hand to grip Tsukki’s waist as he trails his tongue up the center of his torso, up to his neck to lick and kiss the sensitive flesh fervently.

Tsukki’s head tips back both from pleasure and so that he doesn’t have to look, because _that_ might make him spontaneously combust. The damp stripe feels shockingly cold against the heat between them.

"I like it when you admit what you want," Kuroo growls seductively into Tsukki’s skin, "I get off to thinking of pleasing you, you know."

Tsukki lets out a whimper at Kuroo's tone, his hips moving up again on their own. He lets himself fall from his elbows so that he can grip at Kuroo's hips. He lets one hand reach to press Kuroo's face into his neck again.

"L-leave a mark,” he breathes, and it sounds like begging. His other hand grips Kuroo's hot skin on his hip tighter at the thought.

First times are rarely boring for Kuroo, but his suspicions that the powder keg of repressed gay desire that is Tsukishima Kei would be especially interesting, and he’s not wrong.

“Mmm, do you want me to kiss and suck hickeys all over your pale beautiful neck?” he punctuates this with a small kiss, with a bit of suction, on Tsukki’s throat, gentle to match his tone. His hand tightens on Tsukki’s waist and he nips where he just kissed. Tsukki chokes an inhale, and Kuroo’s voice lowers to an almost sinister pitch, “or do you want me to bite you until you bruise?”

Tsukki can imagine Kuroo kissing his neck, leaving his mark, but, but the biting seems interesting--new and scary, but interesting. He can only gasp at the brief feeling of Kuroo’s teeth, and decides to file that idea for another day, one where he’ll be able to handle Kuroo biting him without the threat of coming in his pants like a pathetic teenager.

“Yes-ah, the first. Not--I’m not re-ready,” he cuts himself off at the admission, wriggling uncomfortably under Kuroo’s weight, and prepares himself for a mocking laugh.

Kuroo simply hums, satisfied, and descends to Tsukki’s collarbone, sucking marks all over and not hiding his enthusiasm.

 _What a shame_ , he thinks, _that such a prime body was hidden from this for so long._

He intends to make up for it.

One hand weaves into Tsukki’s hair, which is long enough for Kuroo to just barely get a hold, and pulls to bring Tsukki’s back into a deep arch to make it easier to get his mouth lower on Tsukki’s chest. Tsukki yelps ( _god, how unsexy could that be?_ Tsukki wonders) _,_ but his voice devolves into a rough moan at each mark Kuroo brings forth. Kuroo looks up, eyes dark but questioning as he ghosts over Tsukki’s nipple with the tip of his tongue.

It takes Tsukki a second to realize that Kuroo has stopped, and he tilts his chin down so that he can see the other man, and what a lewd picture he makes.

“A-ah- are you pl-planning on doing something?” Tsukki manages, trying for cool and collected and falling short when his voice forms the question in a whine.

“If you ask me like that,” Kuroo kisses up Tsukki’s chest to bring their faces close, “I’ll do anything you want, Tsukki”

Tsukki whines, throwing his head back in frustration. Kuroo obviously knows what he's doing! Why can't he just take the damn lead?!

“I- please,” he starts, trying to think of what he actually wants. _Everything_ , his unhelpful brain supplies, and he growls at himself. “...I think it's pretty _obvious_ ,” he spits, taking his hands from Kuroo and covering his face.

Kuroo doesn’t move, waiting patiently for an actual answer.

“...I liked the idea of what you were about to do,” Tsukki finally mumbles, finding it easier to admit in the darkness behind his hands.

With that, Tsukki lands himself a few notches higher on the list of Most Panicky New Queers he’s broken in. Ordinarily, that would be enough for Kuroo, but seeing as he’s feeling especially explicit tonight…

Kuroo shifts all of his weight back on top Tsukki, grabs his wrists, and pins them above his head. His gaze is heat and dominance boring through Tsukki.

“I _could_ have my way with you, turn you into a moaning screaming mess, and I don’t need your verbal input to figure out how,” he breaks eye contact, comes down to whisper in his ear, “but hearing what you imagine me doing and then giving it to you _really_ does it for me.”

Kuroo languidly rolls his body against Tsukki, making sure their nipples brush together and that Tsukki can feel how _hard_ Kuroo is.

“Besides, if I did _everything I_ wanted without asking you,” Kuroo drags his teeth up Tsukki’s neck to purr in his ear again, “I’d be doing some things you’ve already said you aren’t ready for. I want to respect you. Help me out.”

It's all Tsukki can do not to come apart. He keens, closing his eyes and biting his lips, trying to push his hips up, to get more of that delicious friction. The worst part is that he wants Kuroo to take him apart, but he can’t remember how. Not when he's covered by Kuroo's weight and his arms are being held.

“I--ahm--m-my chest--” he manages, burning at the thought of waking up tomorrow with his chest and nipples covered in Kuroo’s bruises. “Please, kiss--” he has to cut himself off, the thought too embarrassing to finish. He pushes his chest up into Kuroo's with a whine. “Please don't make me say everything.”

Kuroo is surprised at himself when a shuddering breath wracks his body from Tsukki arching up. Pent-up, straight-laced Tsukki too aroused to say more than the bare bones of what he craves makes Kuroo dizzy with want.

“Like I said,” Kuroo says, lips brushing Tsukki’s, “anything you want.”

Kuroo kisses him, passionate and with his skilled tongue exploring Tsukki’s open mouth, before shifting back to gain access to Tsukki’s chest. His hands stay on Tsukki’s wrists, pinning them at his side instead of above his head as he lets loose with his tongue, and Tsukki watches, fascination cutting through hazy arousal, as Kuroo kisses and licks across his chest.

It feels nothing short of divine.

Kuroo closes his mouth around one of Tsukki’s nipples and _sucks._ Tsukki can’t help the way his hips buck and his voice escapes him in a strangled cry. He hadn’t known nipples could be so sensitive, or is that feeling due to Kuroo’s experience?

He whines and flexes his fingers, longing to touch back, to make Kuroo whine and pant. He doesn’t want to be the only embarrassing mess in the room. He chases the absent thought that Kuroo would look good with scratches across his back, with Tsukki’s mark on _him_ , so that Tsukki isn’t the only one destroyed when this night is over.

Kuroo’s face flushes at Tsukki _finally_ getting into it, but doesn’t let his arms go. He moves to the other side of Tsukki’s chest and does the same thing, sucking while flicking his tongue against his erect nub.

Tsukki thinks his red cheeks might be visible from space. He bites his lip, pulling at one of his hands, he wants to cover his mouth so badly, but Kuroo’s grip is firm enough that he can’t, and he growls his frustration.

Kuroo feels daring, so he sucks Tsukki’s nipple between his teeth and bites. Tsukki arches back with another moan that sounds more like a scream.

It shoots straight to Kuroo’s cock.

He alternates his tongue, his lips, and his teeth stimulating Tsukki’s nipple so _thoroughly_ that he wouldn't be surprised if he saw bruises when he came away. But he doesn’t look, because now that Kuroo knows what Tsukki sounds like when he uses his teeth, he intends to keep hearing it.

He releases Tsukki’s wrists and slides his hands underneath Tsukki, digging his nails into Tsukki’s back and forcing him into an arch. Instead of gently kissing his way to Tsukki’s other nipple, it’s a flurry of teeth and tongue before he descends to bite and suck on the other sensitive nub.

Tsukki _can't_ come like this. By this he means he could absolutely come just from this.

As soon as they're free, his hands fly to Kuroo's shoulders, nails _finally_ leaving angry red lines in their wake as he arches off the bed. He screams again at the treatment Kuroo is delivering to his nipple, and his hand goes to grip Kuroo's hair, to make sure he doesn't plan to go anywhere.

He starts thinking of difficult movements in the piece he's supposed to play with Akaashi later in the week, his fingers twitching with the muscle memory, as close to in time as he can manage between actual twitches of pleasure.

It take Kuroo a few seconds to realize that there’s a pattern to Tsukki’s twitching fingers. Seeing as how he doesn’t play an instrument, he can’t tell exactly what the progression is, but he can imagine Tsukki’s skilled fingers pressing against strings, manipulating the notes on his cello perfectly. He pauses, and backs off, repositioning himself so his weight is back on Tsukki. He’s propped on his elbows and their faces are close.

“Whatcha doin’~” he croons, smirking but still flushed.

Tsukki stops a second after Kuroo does, starting when he opens his eyes and sees him so close. The question catches him off guard, and he takes his hands away. _Was the scratching not good? Shit, did he hurt him?_

“I wasn't--I wasn't doing anything. Should I not have--” and he makes a vague gesture at Kuroo's back.

“No no, that was” Kuroo’s eyes fall closed as he shudders, “ _delightful_. More of that, as much as you want of that.” Kuroo reaches down to one of Tsukki’s hands and laces their fingers together, bringing that hand to his face to pepper kisses all over Tsukki’s palm.

"It’s just...I wish you were more invested in your pleasure. Honestly, _fingering notes_ instead of being honest to your body….” he kisses Tsukki’s fingertips, “...especially when the notes are the _last_ thing I think about when I watch you play cello.” He allows his tongue to come out and tease Tsukki’s fingers.

Tsukki’s cheeks burn as he realizes he must have been paying more attention to the progression that he thought if Kuroo is noticing. He bristles, ready to snap that he’s trying to be _considerate_ when Kuroo says that he watches him playing cello, that he seems to find Tsukki playing his cello attractive. He resists the urge to pull his hand away, watching as Kuroo’s tongue presses against them with a shiver. He’s never going to be able to watch his fingers on his cello’s fingerboard the same way again if all he can imagine is Kuroo watching his hands.

“Forgive me for trying not to embarrass myself further,” he grumbles, looking away when Kuroo’s tongue sends shivers down his spine.

“Embarrass yourself? Is that what this is about?” Kuroo asks, considering turning Tsukki’s face to him at first but then again how could he ignore this rare opportunity, of Tsukki’s neck unintentionally completely open and offered to him? He idly thinks of what Tsukki could mean as he gives his neck the same aggressive treatment Kuroo gave his chest.  Resigning to it being Tsukki shy about his moaning, Kuroo growls in his ear, “This isn’t going to work.”

For a couple of seconds, Tsukki thinks some higher being is giving him mercy and that Kuroo won’t press the matter. He lets his free hand drift back up to Kuroo’s hair, but when Kuroo says this isn’t going to work, a small part of him isn’t incredibly surprised. He sighs, dropping his hand and untangling his other hand from Kuroo’s, ready to struggle through the awkward “sorry for the disappointment” and “we can still be friends” conversation before leaving and going back home. Maybe Tadashi is still awake and would be willing to be a shoulder to mope on.

Kuroo’s newly free hand clutches Tsukki’s hip, the other shoves against Tsukki’s ribcage. He tangles one leg under Tsukki’s thigh and throws himself to the side, pulling Tsukki with him so that their positions are reversed. Tsukki yelps as he’s suddenly flipped, his hands coming to Kuroo’s excellent chest to steady himself.

“If being pleasured is too much to handle for now,” he grins, his arms coming up over his head to flex his chest open,  beckoning, “there are other options.”

Tsukki blinks down at the other man, honestly confused, until he realizes that Kuroo is giving him control, that he’s supposed to do something now.

...What the hell is he supposed to do?! He pulls his hands back and flutters them uselessly.

“You can’t- how the hell am I supposed to-?” he snaps, only just stopping himself from crossing his arms over his chest like a petulant child.

“I can, babe, and just did,” Kuroo teases. “Everything I just did to you is a good start in case you have never, not once, thought of kissing me or touching me.” His voice melts to sound gentle and wanting, “I want you. I won’t watch if it makes you nervous. If you don’t want me, say so and you’re off the hook. No strings.”  Kuroo pauses and then grins, “But this _is_ really good, so I can’t promise I won’t touch myself thinking of you after you’re gone~”

Tsukki chokes the suggestion that Kuroo would masturbate to the thought of him, that he could have before. Rationally he knows he's gotten off thinking about Kuroo, so why couldn't it be the other way around, but _saying_ something like that seems so embarrassing. Stubbornly, the blond grits his teeth and tries to mimic the way the Kuroo rolled his hips earlier, pressing his hands against his firm chest to keep himself steady. It takes him a couple of tries to line their cocks up, despite the bulges being plainly obvious in their pants, but once he does, he gasps, letting his hips start a rhythm.

Kuroo moans openly, gasps out “Such a  -- ah -- tease”

Tsukki closes his eyes, unable to handle looking at Kuroo as he does this, and tries to imagine that he’s home, alone, fantasizing in his room. He lets his fingers spread, pushing the tips of them deeper into Kuroo’s muscles, leaning forward.

He realizes that keeping his hips going while leaning forward is not something that he can do, but as he shifts, he overcorrects and tumbles forward, opening his eyes and throwing his hands out on either side of Kuroo’s head before their faces can collide.

Kuroo‘s hands swiftly cover his face and he shouts, “ **_FUCK,_ ** ” then crumples up in pain.

Embarrassed heat flies through Tsukki and he reels back, stumbling as he stands, and covers his chest with his arms.

“This is--this is stupid, you can’t possibly think this is se- attractive,” he says, fixing his glasses and looking at Kuroo’s knees.

A few moments pass of Tsukki just standing there while Kuroo hisses in pain before Kuroo sits up, lowering his hands to reveal that they’re bright red, and that there’s blood spread from his nose down to his chin. His eyes bore into Tsukki. “Say it.”

Tsukki grimaces at the sight of Kuroo’s bloody face, thinks about looking for his shirt and calling this night what it clearly is: a disaster, but Kuroo’s command catches him off guard. He pulls his arms tighter across his torso and glares weakly at the other man.

“Say what?” he asks.

Kuroo’s eyes light up when Tsukki acknowledges him. Maintaining eye contact, he licks some of the blood off of his lips. His eyes flash down to his bloody hands before coming back up to Tsukki’s face.

Kurro looks manic as he grins lopsidedly and firmly says, “Say the word ‘sexy.’”

Tsukki makes a disgusted noise that Kuroo licked at his own _blood_ but he can’t help but shiver at Kuroo’s expression. He has to look away, flexing his hands under his arms as he forces his eyes to roll.

“Why? What does that have to do with anything?”

“Because you need to say the word ‘sexy’ like you said the word ‘gay’” he says, not backing down even though Tsukki is.  “You need to stop rejecting it, avoiding it because it’s something you want to believe you aren't.”

“Just because I say the word ‘sexy’ doesn’t mean that it would apply to me,” Tsukki says, glancing down at himself. He feels a flash of heat in the bottom of his stomach when he sees that, yes, Kuroo’s work earlier did leave quite a few marks, and he looks back up. “You don’t have to try and fix my self esteem. I’m well aware of what my limitations are,” he admits bitterly. “and apparently I can add ending my first s- intimate encounter by making someone bleed.”

“ _Sexual encounter,_ ” Kuroo presses, voice deep and smooth. “This is a sexual encounter. A hookup.” Kuroo removes the towel from his desk chair, pours some water on it from the squeeze bottle on the dresser, and cleans himself up, “And let me tell you if I didn’t care _deeply_ about safer sex and being responsible, the blood would be a non-issue. The _hitting me in the face_ would be _welcome_ if you kept showing me that you want me.”

Satisfactorily clean, he throws the blood-covered towel into a hamper and nods his head at Tsukki.

“I think you’re sexy. I showed you. It’s written all over your chest.” Kuroo closes the distance between them and caresses the side of Tsukki’s face, “You won’t say it, but you started showing me, and I was way into it. So why not continue?”

Tsukki grimaces when Kuroo calls him sexy. It’s not that he doesn’t know he’s attractive enough, but he doesn’t hold a candle to Kuroo or Akaashi. Hell, even bokuto can be sexy when he stops trying so hard, not that Tsukki would ever admit it.

He turns his face a little into Kuroo’s hand, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. There’s a part of him that wants to go home, to shove himself back into the closet and just become a miserable man, but it’s overshadowed by the feeling of Kuroo’s fingers on his face.

Without opening his eyes he says, “I liked...when you had your fingers in my hair. I- you felt good - on top of me,” he doesn’t say that he liked not feeling exposed, but he doesn’t think Kuroo needs to know that embarrassing fact.

Kuroo maintains precise self control to not jump Tsukki, and to not show how surprised and impressed he is that Tsukki admitted something he liked. Instead, he snakes his hand from where it rests on Tsukki’s cheek and winds it back and into his hair, stepping forward to press their bodies together. His other hand goes around Tsukki’s waist and pulls him into a suffocating kiss.

Tsukki melts into it, letting his body lean and fit against Kuroos with a soft gasp. This isn’t at all how he imagined the night going, but he supposes it could be worse. He opens his eyes and looks at Kuroo, breathing his air, the red flush spread across his face. This...might be salvageable.

After a long moment, Kuroo breaks away and presses his forehead to Tsukki’s.

“You felt good underneath me. I wouldn’t mind doing it again….”

Tsukki settles his hands on Kuroo’s hips -- it seems like a safe place -- and presses his own kiss, soft, nervous, without the finesse of Kuroo’s, to the other man’s lips. After a long second, he shifts his hips against Kuroo’s.

“Then--ah--what are you waiting for,” he asks when he pulls back, line of sight resting at Kuroo’s kiss-flushed mouth.

“For you to say that,” Kuroo says and his smile is smug despite how very compromised he knows he looks. He leads Tsukki to the side of the bed, pushes him backwards with small kisses until he’s laying down properly, head on the pillows. Kuroo slinks onto the bed, bringing one knee between Tsukki’s legs and resting slightly on Tsukki’s thigh. He kisses Tsukki like he needs the blond in order to breathe. One hand props himself next to Tsukki and the other begins to roam his chest, pressing into each of the bruises he’s formed.

Tsukki doesn’t try to resist the urge to move his hips against Kuroo’s legs every time the other man presses into one of his fresh bruises. He keeps one hand on Kuroos shoulder, letting his nails drag over the marks he made earlier, and the other on Kuroo’s neck, fingertips brushing the soft, short hair there. After a while he can feel his hands shaking, feel his arousal starting to build towards a peak, just from, god, nothing, and he pushes against Kuroo’s shoulder.

“Ah, stop, stop for a second,” he gasps, bringing his hand up to cover his eyes.

Kuroo freezes his hands in place, stops panting and grinding on Tsukki’s thigh.

“What’s up?” he breathes shallowly.

Tsukki shakes his head and breathes, thinking about anything else, anything not related to this, to the feeling of Kuroo’s skin, the way he can feel- shit not helping. "I just- I just need a second,” he whispers, his fingers working out the same pattern from earlier. Kuroo already caught him doing this once, right? What’s the harm of looking like an overeager loser now?

There’s that pattern again. Kuroo’s eyes narrow, breath still short in his chest because he is so incredibly _hot_ right now. when he speaks it’s slow, unsure. “Why are you…?” And then realization hits him in the face even harder than Tsukki did ten minutes ago. “Oh.” His eyes widen but there’s no smirk this time, “Are you-? Trying not to come?”

Tsukki’s fingers freeze and he has to look at Kuroo’s face to make sure he’s not mocking him.

Well. He wasn’t expecting genuine surprise.

He moves to prop himself up a little, fixing his glasses and says, “Yeah...I don’t- I can l-last. I just need a second.” Admitting that makes his cheeks go hot, and he tenses his shoulders, ready for laughter, or a joke.

No such response comes. Instead, Kuroo leans down and kisses Tsukki’s shoulders, his hot cheeks.

“Sex doesn’t end when someone comes,” he says, keeping his tone informative, as if instructing someone on how to load a dishwasher. “That's a myth straight people use to keep their sex lives puritanical and boring. Sex ends when someone wants it to.” He bites his lip around a smirk and runs his finger along the waistline of Tsukki’s pants. “And I don’t think you want it to.”

Tsukki whines when Kuroo teases his waistline, biting his lip. The last thing he wants to do is seem overeager, but his hips lift, trying to chase that finger.

“Besides,” Kuroo continues, “of all things, that’s hardly the most effective way to kill a boner.”

“You make - playing cello seem like it’s some kind of sex act,” he breathes against Kuroo’s mouth, replacing his hand on the back of Kuroo’s neck and letting his crotch rest - _just_ rest  - because no matter what Kuroo says he doesn’t want to come in his pants like a teenager - against Kuroo’s thigh.

“You don’t think it is? You unwind into Akaashi a little when you play. You connect to him. Makes me imagine what you’d look like unwinding for me,” Kuroo whispers, low. He feels himself getting flustered and allows it. “Also, y-your hands.” he hides his face by way of kissing behind Tsukki’s ear.

Tsukki makes a surprised sound, caught off guard by Kuroo’s sudden shyness. He tests the waters, pressing his fingertips up into Kuroo’s hair, against his scalp and turns his face into Kuroo’s neck, brushing his lips against hot skin.

Kuroo sighs deep at his fingers, moans at his lips. It’s not lost on him that it’s the first time Tsukki’s kissed him somewhere other than his mouth.

“My fingers? What about them?” Tsukki sounds honestly confused.

Kuroo nuzzles into Tsukki’s neck and whines, “Babe, don’t make me say it~”

Tsukki huffs, aware that Kuroo his mocking him, but his breath feels good against his neck. He moves the hand on Kuroo’s hip to his shoulder, letting his fingers trail over where he scratched before, the lines long faded but he hopes Kuroo gets the idea. He hopes that he doesn’t look like an idiot, that he’s reading this right.

“What about my fingers?” he asks again, shocked by how low his voice comes out - like something you would hear from some romantic lead in a movie.

Kuroo grinds his hips once involuntarily, fuck those fingers, those scratches, that voice, _fuck_. A split-second later he remembers himself and stops, breathes deep to level himself out.

It doesn’t work.

"I really don’t know if I should tell you; it might scare you off if I admit it.” Tsukki realizes that this time he’s not teasing him. His words are sure and knowing, but his body language is still hiding as he noses along Tsukki’s hairline behind his ear.

Tsukki’s not sure what to say to that. Throughout this entire experience he hasn’t seen Kuroo flustered. Turned on, sure, but this is different. He rests his head back further into the pillows, lifting his hands so that he can look at them.

“They’re just...fingers, Kuroo,” he says, honestly perplexed. He trails one hand down Kuroo’s back, stopping midway and then dragging them back up, leaving red trails as best he can with short, trimmed nails. He thinks he likes the way the red goes with Kuroo’s tan skin.

Kuroo hisses against Tsukki’s skin and his hips make that same unsolicited winding motion, and he’s slower to stop it this time.

“If you keep doing that --” he chokes out.

Kuroo exhales sharply, aware of the ever-so-slightly tense set to his own usually lazy and relaxed shoulders, and of the burning in the pit of his stomach that is telling him with every fiber of his being to _make Tsukki come._ His ears are burning and he closes his eyes with relief, letting Tsukki’s desire wash over him. _Finally;_ it feels so good to feel full-on pleasure like this, instead of siphoning it off of Tsukki via his reactions.

“They’re just,” Kuroo starts, voice rough, “strong, dextrous, long, practiced, enduring fingers…Tsukki.”

Tsukki isn’t sure what to do with this--whatever this is. Kuroo had seemed to be fine before, enjoying himself, but this…. It sends fire into Tsukki’s belly, and he grinds his hips down, letting out a small moan at the feeling of Kuroo’s strong thigh up against him. He can’t help but snort at Kuroo’s description of his fingers.

“That’s ridiculous,” he breathes, but that doesn’t stop him from trailing his nails against Kuroo’s shoulder and neck.

“ _You’re_ ridiculous,” Kuroo sighs, voice laced with lust and a pinch of frustration, straining to avoid just coming out with just what he wants Tsukki to do with those fingers, “You are literally a professional cellist but you’re so concerned with not admitting how devastatingly fucking hot you are that you’re putting down your _own_ _Manual Dexterity.”_

Tsukki’s hands stop, and he shifts down, ignoring the contact the movement causes between him and Kuroo’s thigh, so that he can push against Kuroo’s shoulders, forcing him to stop hiding. Once Kuroo is looking at him, his face flushed and desperate, his weight balanced on his elbows, Tsukki scratches his fingers against Kuroo’s collarbone. Kuroo’s neck muscles become pronounced as he gasps softly, and bites his lip. Tsukki keeps his eyes on his face, cataloguing his reaction.

“You...actually do have a- a thing for my hands?” he asks, his voice barely above a shocked whisper. He drags his nails further down, mesmerized by the lines that he leaves. He stops his fingers under Kuroo’s pecs, letting them rest in the groove of muscle above the other man’s abdomen and leans up, breathing over the marks he just made.

Having Tsukki’s mouth so close to him is too much. Something deep inside Kuroo says _fuck it_. His usual smoothness comes back, but not enough to make him seem composed.

“I really, really do. and I need you to promise that what I’m about to say won’t make you stop _touching_ me like this-” Kuroo gasps “-because god, Tsukki, I don’t want you to stop…”

His words send shocks of both fear and arousal through Tsukki, pooling at his dick. Something about seeing Kuroo’s face look so desperate makes his hips jump and he moans, letting himself kiss Kuroo’s collarbone while he fingers trace the dips and grooves of Kuroo’s abs; he thinks he could be willing to do anything to get Kuroo to sound like that again. His fingertips stop at Kuroo’s waistband, but he lets his mind go further, imagining thumbing the button open and pulling at the zipper.

He wonders what Kuroo will look like when he actually wraps his fingers around his hard cock. Another man’s penis can’t be so different from messing with your own. He thinks he could do it, use this newfound power to his advantage.

“Yeah...yeah I think I can manage,” he says, staying close enough that his lips brush against Kuroo’s peck.  Tsukki can feel the rumble of Kuroo’s moan against his lips.

It’s everything for Kuroo not to collapse onto Tsukki when he feels his mouth on his chest.

Kuroo takes a breath, putting together the most delicate words he can find.

“I want to feel what those incredible fingers can do…” his ab muscles tense and release beneath Tsukki’s fingertips, and his eyes are dark, hooded, and relaxed looking down at Tsukki, "Inside me.”

Just like that, Tsukki feels like he’s been doused with cold water. This is not what he was thinking. His hands shoot up back to Kuroo’s shoulders, and suddenly his plans for baby steps seem to disappear.

“No, are you- I wasn’t- I can’t” he stammers, shaking his head.

“Please, Tsukki, don’t-” Kuroo pleads, feeling the pleasure recede from his flesh and wanting it back desperately, “you said you wouldn’t-”

“You- that can’t possibly actually feel good,” Tsukki whispers, staring up at Kuroo like a lost deer.

Kuroo looks down at Tsukki, and raises his eyebrows. Apprehensive confusion is better than actively pulling away, after all. A smirk plays at his lips.

"I mean, I know I don’t come off as someone who likes to bottom, but I find merit in both sides…” suddenly Kuroo remembers who he’s talking to. His voice shifts to soft interest, gentle curiosity, “have you never...fucked yourself?”

Tsukki chokes, taking his hands away, face going from panicked white to flaming. He looks away. “No! no I- of course not, I-” he bites his lip, thinking of times when he thought, maybe, but could never bring himself to actually... “I couldn’t” he says, surprised by his own admission, but, he somehow feels lighter after saying it.

“God, then you really don’t know,” Kuroo sighs, “how _fucking incredible_ it feels. And how tight and hot-“ he cuts himself off. “Stop thinking of it as this foreign thing to do.” he cards his fingers through Tsukki’s hair, lowers himself closer to him, “Think of it as something as natural as cello,” Kuroo chuckles. “You even move your fingers in pretty much the same way.”

Tsukki can’t help but lean into Kuroo’s fingers as they go through his hair. He hums at the sensation of Kuroo’s weight against him. He puts his hands back on Kuroo’s shoulders, looking at his shaking fingers and trying to think - to imagine what that could be like. Gross is the first thing that comes to mind, and he wrinkles his nose.

“How can it feel good when it sounds so gross?” he asks, but in the back of his mind, a voice, suspiciously sounding like Kuroo’s, wonders why so many people would do it if it the pleasure didn’t outweigh the nasty.

“It’s not gross if the bottom knows what they’re doing,” Kuroo says thoughtfully, keeping one hand in Tsukki’s hair and allowing the other to roam his chest, “which I fucking do. And I like to bottom...seeing as I’ve been thinking about your fingers for _weeks_ I’m pretty ready for it if you know what I mean.”

Kuroo blushes in spite of himself for actually saying that, considers that he’s losing his suave touch to this rookie. He clears his throat.

“Protection would make you feel better, too, and I have plenty of that.” he searches Tsukki’s eyes, trying to read him.

Tsukki flushes at the implication. The idea that Kuroo has been waiting _weeks_ is boggling. He covers his eyes with one of his hands, needing that comfort, hoping that Kuroo doesn’t misunderstand, and bites his lip. “I don’t- fuck I don’t think-” he starts shivering at the question he’s about to ask, hoping that this isn’t some sort of faux pas or something. He peeks through his fingers, and his other hand balls into a fist against Kuroo’s shoulder, tense enough to start shaking, because Tsukki can’t let himself keep being a coward.

“Sh-show me?” asks, voice shaking.

It is a fraction of a second before Kuroo descends on Tsukki, kissing him viciously. Tsukki gasps into the kiss, not completely prepared for Kuroo’s enthusiasm at his request.

“Hell fucking _yes_ ,” Kuroo gasps out. He nuzzles Tsukki’s neck to the side and nibbles at his skin, causing the younger man to moan. Arousal floods him. He pauses, and draws back. Tsukki chases his mouth; he’s not quite ready to leave the comfort of kissing, but Kuroo just hums, low and happy. He loves seeing Tsukki _eager_.

“On one condition,” Kuroo says, voice thick with need, “I’ll fuck myself and let you watch on the condition that you _have_ to keep touching me. Okay? Wherever you're comfortable with as long as you don’t hold back. Deal?”

Tsukki pulls back, taking a second to imagine what that might be like. He wriggles so that he can sit up, pushing at Kuroo and putting some space between them, enough that he’s not as distracted. He reaches out, brushes his fingers against Kuroo’s stomach, watching the muscles contract under his hand and smiles, small and excited, at the reaction.

“Deal,” he says, looking in Kuroo’s eyes. He’s terrified, but he thinks that he might feel _excitement_ under that fear.

Kuroo smirks and reaches over Tsukki to the nightstand. He grabs a black glove and lube and sets them both on the bed.

He ordinarily would just use the lube, but because Tsukki is so nervous he wants to make it clear that wanting protection won't ruin anything.

He kisses Tsukki deeply and wanting, and leans back on the bed.  Tsukki follows clumsily, not breaking the kiss and using a hand on Kuroo’s shoulder to steady himself.  

“You don't have to do anything you don't want to…” Kuroo reminds gently, his mouth brushing Tsukki’s. He seems a little short of breath. His hands glide down his own body to remove himself from his remaining clothes. Tsukki gives him just enough space to do so.

Tsukki is torn between watching Kuroo’s hands as they take off the rest of his clothes and looking away, suddenly embarrassed at the thought of seeing another man naked. His breath comes out quicker the more tan skin is revealed. His cheeks and neck flare hot when he sees Kuroo’s cock, his hand flexes as his next breath out is colored with a moan. Daring to glance at Kuroo’s face, he catches the other man watching him, and he frowns, not sure he likes the fact that he feels like he’s the one that’s naked.

Once Kuroo's pants are off, he puts the glove, along with several pumps of lube, on the hand farthest from Tsukki.

Tsukki gives himself some room, stops hovering so that he can turn on his side, using one elbow to prop himself up and letting the other hand drift from his own hip to Kuroo’s. His fingers are shaking. He can’t make them stop.

 _Poor babe wilts like a flower when I look at him_ , Kuroo thinks. His hips lean into Tsukki's touch, and feels him shaking so hard.

Kuroo's ungloved hand takes Tsukki's and brings it to his mouth, bolder this time, coming straight out with licking those beautiful fingers.

“Like what you see?” Kuroo breathes over Tsukki's knuckles, eyes closed and focused on him.

Tsukki watches as Kuroo starts mouthing at his fingers again. It gives him a sense of power, knowing that his hands, of all things, affect Kuroo so much. He realizes belatedly that he’s put himself in a position where he only has one hand, and he groans at his own stupidity.

“Hold on--let me,” he whispers, shifting away and shivering. Has the room been so cold the whole time, or has his body already started to _crave_ Kuroo’s warmth? he settles onto his knees, but that seems stupid too, like he’s sitting at a formal meeting or something. His hands flutter.

“I feel like i’m about to give you an exam,” he admits, angry at himself for not being able to figure anything out tonight.

Kuroo trembles, refusing to open his eyes. “Ts- Tsukki, ngh, please don’t- I need you to...”

For an honest to god second, Tsukki thinks that he’s hurt Kuroo somehow.  Why else would he be talking like that? He leans over the older man, putting his hands on Kuroo’s flushed face.

“What--I don’t what do you mean?” he asks, looking around for any sign of something wrong. He glances down, somewhere he has most certainly _not_ been avoiding, and realizes that Kuroo’s far arm is moving but he can’t see…

“Oh god! are you?!” he can’t bring himself to say it, instead watching as Kuroo’s hips move. While he’s distracted, his hands drift down, closer to himself but still touching Kuroo’s chest gently.

Kuroo peeks through his lashes, and his breath is shallow and panting.

“...showing you…” he tilts his hips back to accommodate his fingers deeper, and his forearms flex with the effort of fucking in and out of himself slowly and gently.

Kuroo’s hips are...distracting like this, as is the small pool of precum on his lower abdomen. Tsukki licks his lips, shifting so that he can turn his body, reaching one of his hands to brush against the flushed head of Kuroo’s cock.

Kuroo’s chest expands as he gasps an inhale, and heat prickles up his body. He wasn't expecting Tsukki to work up the nerve to _acknowledge_ his cock let alone touch it. And now he _needs_ it. He sacrifices depth of his fingers he just established and pushes his hips forward into Tsukki's hand.

Tsukki moans at the sight that Kuroo makes, the way his eyes look under his lashes sending a jolt down to his neglected cock. He figures it’s now or never. He wraps his fingers around Kuroo’s shaft, taking a deep breath at the feeling of the hot flesh in his hand. It’s not...incredibly different from his own. There’s more girth, but it fits comfortably in his hand. He glances farther down, where Kuroo’s fingers are shallowly pumping inside of him, and he pumps his hand once, twice, testing the feel of it.

“Does- is this okay? Does that..hurt?” he breathes, looking up at Kuroo’s face.

Kuroo just groans. “Everything feels so _good_ ,” he whispers, his head falling forward. “You feel so good Tsukki,  I-” he bites his lip and pumps his hips once, cautiously, into Tsukki's hand. It's not uncomfortable - he's been so turned on for so long that his precum is providing just the _perfect_ amount of slick.

Tsukki doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything so devastating before. He’s torn between watching Kuroo’s hips move and his throat work. He wants to know what this kind of pleasure feels like. He lets out a shaky moan when Kuroo fucks once into his hand, and decides that he likes the idea of Kuroo getting himself off in his hand. He leans over the other man, carding his free hand through his actually ruined hair and places gentle kisses on his neck. Kuroo groans, gritting his teeth. This is really getting to him. Tsukki isn't sure where this is all coming from, but he noses his way to Kuroo’s ear.

“F-fuck my hand, Tetsu,” he breathes.

Emboldened by Tsukki not only saying “fuck” but also his _first fucking name,_ he brings Tsukki's hand to his lips and sucks two of his fingers into his mouth. Panting openly, he laps his tongue around and between the blonds digits and works his hips, grinding his cock into Tsukki’s hand.

“Ah- that’s uh” Tsukki’s voice descends into a moan as Kuroo sucks on his fingers, and dammit, that shouldn’t be so fucking hot. He rocks back and forth unable to keep his hips still. He can hear his breathing in his ears, his heart pumping at double time and he presses his fingers into Kuroo’s tongue. He tries to think of what he likes, when he’s thrusting into his fist alone, and he swipes his thumb over the head, collecting more precum that lets his hand glide more smoothly over Kuroo’s shaft. He peeks down and moans at the thought of Kuroo coming apart because of _his_ fingers instead. He gently fucks his fingers in Kuroo’s mouth deeper, moaning long at the feeling of slick heat around them.

Kuroo shouts, a deep and rough sound tearing through his throat. Tsukki jumps at the sound, gasping for breath because he _needs to hear that again_. Kuroo’s hips sputter to a stop, losing the coordination to steadily take pleasure on his own because he is focused on the devastatingly sexy man in bed with him.  He moans roughly as he works his tongue along the younger man's fingers.

“Kei, w-want you...fuck me, please, I want it to be you…”

For a second Tsukki thinks he might lose it right there, hearing the way Kuroo moans his name. Tsukki finds himself nodding, taking his fingers out of Kuroo's mouth so they can kiss. He grinds his hips down, his cock pressing hard against his zipper, trying to find something, anything to relieve some of the pressure. He moans into Kuroo's mouth and lets go of Kuroo’s cock to press some relief against his own. The whimper he lets out is nothing short of pathetic.

“Yes,” he hisses, both in reaction to the hard pressure against himself and Kuroo’s request. He pulls back, brushing Kuroo’s sweaty bangs out of his eyes. “I don’t- you have to t-tell me,” he says. The last thing he wants to do is disappoint Kuroo now.

Kuroo uses all of his mental faculties to think clearly without the echoes of pleasure thrumming through his body fading. He breathes deeply and nods to the night stand.

“Protection?” he asks, still breathless.

Tsukki nods quickly, probably too quickly, reaching over and putting a black glove on the hand Kuroo just had in his mouth, exhaling to normalize the feeling, flexing his fingers in midair. Kuroo probably picked the color on purpose to prevent a doctor’s office from coming to mind, he thinks, when he notices that Kuroo isn’t making any sounds. He looks down, about to be concerned but what he sees is Kuroo’s mouth open, his chest muscles flexed and his breathing shallow. Kuroo’s barely-open eyes are locked on his hand. Tsukki lets his fingers flex a little, excusing it as nervous energy in his head.

“N- now what?” Tsukki asks quietly.

Kuroo closes his eyes and winces slightly as he removes his fingers from his ass. Tsukki breathes a soft sigh of relief that it comes out clean. Kuroo reaches over to the lube, takes Tsukki’s gloved hand with his, and pumps some along those cello-conditioned digits.

“We’ll start like this and then change positions, okay?”

Tsukki nods despite not knowing what he’s talking about. Kuroo shifts onto his side and snakes his left hand underneath Tsukki, pulling him close. He pulls Tsukki’s gloved hand around him, along with his own, and presses Tsukki’s finger to his wet hole.

Tsukki bites his lip on his comment that not being able to see might not be the best option, but he lets Kuroo guide his hand to his hole, grimacing at the strange lack of sensation but still recognizing wetness and warmth that comes with wearing gloves. He presses his index finger against Kuroo’s hole, testing, pulling away when it turns out that nope he needs one more deep breath before he fully commits. He takes that breath, closes his eyes, and he presses his finger into the first knuckle. Kuroo was right. there’s tight, hot pressure around his finger and he can’t imagine what that might feel like around something else.

“I- uh- is this okay?” he asks, not sure if he’s supposed to go fast or slow or wait or just dive in.

Kuroo stifles a moan and bites his lip, but it still rumbles through his chest. His hand tightens on Tsukki’s back, digging into his soft skin slightly. He guides Tsukki into a moderately forceful rhythm.

“Yes, Tsukki, god - kiss me...”

Tsukki moans as Kuroo guides him, and he thinks it has to hurt, but then Kuroo is moaning like that and maybe leaving bruises on his back - god it’s bad that he hopes he is - and he kisses Kuroo like he asked, letting shaking breaths brush against his lips between kisses. He can’t believe he’s doing this, that he has this effect on Kuroo fucking Tetsurou. He kisses him harder.

“Can I? Another?” he asks against Kuroo’s lips.

“ _Pleease,”_ the word drags from Kuroo’s throat and is electric on Tsukki’s lips.

He kisses Kuroo again, harder this time, as he slips in a second finger, curling them and hoping that it’s okay. He uses his other hand to scratch down Kuroo’s chest because that will either distract him from Tsukki’s inexperience or amplify his pleasure. He scratches over a nipple, and remember how sensitive his were, goes back and presses against it, moaning and the memory of Kuroo’s mouth on his chest.

Kuroo’s resulting moan is _loud_ and open. His breathing is jagged, and his brow is furrowed with pleasure, his hair is even more of a mess than usual, and there’s the shine of saliva on his lips. He’s aware of how he looks and feels his very sexiest like this. He recognizes Tsukki repeatedly curling his fingers and immediately decides that he needs to feel them on his prostate _now_. His ribcage expands in an inhale and shudders an exhale.

“I can’t last much longer, Kei,” he can barely keep his eyes open, he feels dizzy with it. His voice drops from breathy to gravelly, “I want you deeper, and harder, and I want you to _curl your fingers just like that_ while I’m on my back. Please, Kei, _please.._.”

Tsukki stares down at this man who has so consumed him. He feels like he’s on fire, his cheeks actually tingling from how much blood must be in them. Kuroo’s words shoot right to his cock and it throbs painfully against his jeans, making him choke.

The fact that Kuroo is _close_ that _Tsukki_ did that makes him nod, pulling his hand away and pushing himself up so that he can hover over Kuroo.

“Y-yes,” he breathes, taking his ungloved hand and pushing at Kuroo’s shoulder until the other man turns. He stoops over him, putting his ungloved hand on Kuroo’s collar and kissing him. He reaches and presses his fingers back in, and then realizes that this is actually kind of different.

“What am I supposed to do?” he asks, hiding his face in Kuroo’s neck because the fact that he has to ask is _mortifying_.

Kuroo is so close to falling to a thousand pieces, his voice is rough. He discards his glove, tossing it off the bed, and holds his first two fingers up.

“Use these two, like this,” and he tilts his palm to be level with the ground before crooking them in a come-hither motion. “You’ll know when you hit it. I’ll help but whatever you do, _don’t stop_.” he looks down at Tsukki as if he’s asking for permission for something.

To let go, maybe.

Tsukki nods and goes to do what Kuroo says, pressing his fingers in and waiting a breath until he curls them. It’s not...incredibly different from getting a note on his cello, which is an absurd thought and he’s never going to be able to play again with a straight face. He curls and uncurls his fingers a few times, and he thinks he might feel something? He stretches his fingers and then presses it.

Sparks fly through Kuroo’s nerves and he arches back impossibly hard. All of his muscles are tense and he can’t seem to _breathe_ . His eyes pinch shut and he barks, “ _Fuck, Kei, Yes._ ”

The arch in his back flattens out and the entire motion of it gyrates his hips down onto Tsukki’s fingers. It’s all Tsukki can do not to pull his hands away at that reaction. He wasn’t expecting it, but it makes his breath come quicker and he wants to hear Kuroo scream his name again. He puts a hand on Kuroo’s chest so that he won’t _hurt himself_ or something and curls his fingers again, going for that spot again and again.

Each time Tsukki presses up, Kuroo pushes back against him and it feels _perfect_ , and he looks _perfect_ and everything is fucking sloppy and messy and loud and _perfect._

“You fucking _liar..._ ” Kuroo growls through his teeth, in between ragged gasps of air, “you’re - ah - _fucking_ \- so good - at this.”

His abs flex as he aggressively fucks himself down onto Tsukki’s hand, keeping Tsukki’s unrelenting pace into his prostate.

The sounds Kuroo is making--Tsukki isn’t sure he’ll be able to ever forget them. They’re going to haunt him for the rest of his days. He can’t tear his eyes away from the sight of Kuroo coming apart so _thoroughly_ , but he manages to respond.

“That- that implies that I know what I’m doing,” he says with a rough moan. His wrist is actually starting to hurt from this, and Kuroo’s thrusts down onto his fingers aren’t helping. “You’re doing most of the work...” he says, leaning to press his face against Kuroo’s heaving chest. His nerves are overcome by curiosity as he offers his fingers to Kuroo’s mouth.

Deciding to ignore Tsukki’s self-deprecating remark, Kuroo roars with pleasure, eagerly and _explicitly_ working his tongue around Tsukki’s fingers. His breaths are coming fast and shallow, his moaning is loud and raw and broken, the sheer heat of Tsukki’s flesh on his own is too much.

“So close,” he wheezes between vulgar keening.

Tsukki moans at the feel of Kuroo’s mouth around his fingers. It’s close but oh so different from the feeling of his fingers in Kuroo’s ass. He kisses his chest, leaving a couple of marks of his own, and decides that yes, red against his tan skin does suit Kuroo. He backs off of that spot inside Kuroo for three counts before pressing back in with new fervor, biting Kuroo’s chest, in the tense muscle of his pec and taking his hand away from Kuroo’s mouth to leave wet, messing scratches in his side.

“Kei,” Kuroo pants, over and over, “Kei, god, Kei, _Kei!_ ” he shouts, deep voice filling the room and raking each of Tsukki’s bones, as he comes from the pain and Tsukki’s renewed fervor inside of him. Aftershocks wrack his body and his brow is furrowed with ecstasy.

Tsukki gasps at the sound of Kuroo’s scream, looking up and whining at the look on Kuroo’s face. He put that there, no matter what he might tell Kuroo, he put _that look_ on his face and knowing that makes his cock throb. He keeps fucking Kuroo through his orgasm, kissing him over where his heart is beating so fast, so hard.

“Fuck--fuck you’re--fucking beautiful,” Tsukki moans, too far gone to be embarrassed by the words.

Something close to emotion washes over Kuroo at Tsukki’s praise. He waves Tsukki’s hand away from where it feels sickeningly sensitive inside of him. Tsukki follows Kuroo’s example and swiftly discards his glove. Kuroo pulls Tsukki’s arm so that the blond is on top of him, and kisses him loose and languid, his release evident in the set of his mouth and the lazy lilt to his shoulders.

Tsukishima Kei thinks he might be happy kissing Kuroo forever. It sends a thrill through him. Kuroo smiles, post-orgasm bliss shining through.

“That was amazing,” he pants into Tsukki’s mouth. “Let me suck you off.”

And then, just when he thinks Kuroo couldn’t possibly shock him, he goes and says _that_. Tsukki pulls back, looking down to make sure that Kuroo isn’t- isn’t kidding or something.

He’s not.

Tsukki tucks his head into Kuroo’s shoulder.

“I- there’s no way - you don’t have to,” he says breathlessly, forgetting that out of the two of them, _Kuroo_ wouldn’t have any trouble, emotional or otherwise, giving head. “I- I’m not going to last.”

His hips rock against nothing though, betraying just _how much_ he likes the thought of Kuroo’s mouth on him.

“Sex doesn't end with orgasm unless someone wants it to, remember?” he chuckles with his lopsided smile. Kuroo’s climax-addled brain manages to summon up one last iota of seduction. He nuzzles the side of Tsukki’s head and whispers, “I want to taste you, Kei, make you come. _Please?_ ”

Tsukki whines but nods, pushing himself up so that he can move.

“How--” he starts, looking down at his hands, “how do you - want me?”

Kuroo kisses Tsukki, gently pushing his shoulder down so that Tsukki is on his back. Kuroo peppers Tsukki’s soft pale skin with kisses and licks as he descends to his hips, swirling his tongue along Tsukki’s hip bones as he unbuttons and slides down Tsukki’s pants enough to get to his cock. He hums softly, satisfied, as he takes Tsukki’s cock in his hand.

Tsukki bites the back of his wrist, swallowing his whimpers. It’s different, having all of Kuroo’s attention on him. This gives him goosebumps. He whines, long and loud, when Kuroo finally frees his cock. It’s fully hard, flushed, dripping, and the overwhelming need for release is almost painful when Kuroo takes it in hand.

“Please - pl- please, Tetsurou,” he gasps, covering his mouth and tipping his head back. He’s not going to last if he keeps watching this.

Kuroo’s naturally heavy lidded eyes are locked on Tsukki’s face as he licks Tsukki’s hot, hard cock from base to tip, his tongue wet and wide.

“W-wait- don’t- do we- condom?” Tsukki sputters. Kuroo had made such a big deal about protection before… The other man looks like he’s considering it for a moment before he shrugs a little.

“Honestly, with this, I’m okay if you’re okay,” Kuroo says simply. Tsukki whines at the feel of Kuroo’s breath on his cock, each word a horrible tease.

“It’s- it’s fine, fuck,” Tsukki moans. Kuroo flashes a quick smile before licking his way up Tsukki’s cock again. When he gets to the top, he takes Tsukki’s cock into his mouth and sucks, pressing his tongue against his glans the whole way down.

There’s no stopping his moans now. Tsukki writhes under Kuroo, something close to a sob coming out of him when Kuroo sucks. He’s never had someone’s mouth on his cock before, and Kuroo is _practiced,_ and it’s ruining him,

“Tets-tetsu- I’m going to-” he warns, his hips starting to buck up without his permission. He grabs at Kuroo’s hair, trying to get him to understand that this is happening, but then it’s too late. His orgasm wracks through him and he screams, his voice breaking. His hands lose their ability to grip anything. He’s coming apart - he must be.

The first time watching someone come is Kuroo’s _favorite_. Tsukki is especially beautiful when all of that distant, nervous tension melts away from Tsukki as his come releases into Kuroo’s mouth. He keeps his lips at the base of Tsukki’s cock and swallows, working his throat around the head of Tsukki’s cock and sucking him dry.

It takes Tsukki longer than usual to come down from his orgasm. He’s gasping for breath when he comes back to himself, when the pleasure of having Kuroo’s mouth on his skin becomes too sensitive.

“S- stop, I can’t,” he begs, still shaking. He can’t remember coming so hard in his life. He stares up at Kuroo’s ceiling, panting against his wrist and wondering if he’ll ever be able to have this again.

Kuroo releases Tsukki’s cock and crawls up the bed, collapsing next to him. He’s panting too but without all of the tension and desire that tinged his breathing mere minutes ago. He sleepily kisses Tsukki’s cheek and ghosts his fingers over his clavicle.

“You did so good, babe,” he croons. “So, what do you think?”

Tsukki shivers, suddenly cold now that he’s not flushed. He feels exposed with his pants still open and pulled down his thighs. He rolls away from Kuroo, standing and fixing his pants.

“I’ll be- um, just a second,” he mumbles, walking out of the room and going for his bag. Tsukki had been prepared, with extra underwear and a shirt in his bag, for days. Kuroo had mentioned that the offer for sex was ongoing, but every time Tsukki thought about asking him, he’d chickened out. He’s glad that he didn’t take the extra underwear out of his bag, though. He grabs those and goes back for his shirt when he looks back at Kuroo, sprawled on the bed that looks very inviting.

He suddenly feels how tired he is in his _bones_ and he stops in the doorway. Kuroo looks at him and Tsukki’s tired mind supplies that he probably wouldn’t mind as long as Tsukki is gone before he wakes up. He can do that. And they’ll avoid the awkward morning after.

After a moment of deliberating, Tsukki takes off his pants and underwear, putting on the other pair and grabbing his shirt.

Kuroo smiles lazily and gets up, going to the en suite. Tsukki settles back on the bed when he hears Kuroo running the faucet. The blond takes off his glasses and settles on his side, asleep before the the water is off.

Kuroo opens the bathroom door with a tall glass of water in hand to see Tsukki sleeping in his bed.

 _I could get used to this,_ he thinks, stopping for a moment to soak in how very different Tsukki looks now than he did when they started their little sexcapade. His jaw lacks his usual firm set, his face is loose and his eyebrows aren’t raised suspiciously or sarcastically. He’s just there.

 _It suits him_ , Kuroo decides. He puts the water on the nightstand, turns off the light, and goes to the other side of the bed. He crawls under the covers positions himself to spoon Tsukki. He draws in a deep inhale against Tsukki’s shoulder, and buries his face there on the exhale. He pulls Tsukki close to him, locking him in his arms, and drifts to sleep.

\---

Tsukki usually wakes up pretty quickly. He’s not what you would call a _morning person_ , but he manages to get up and start his day without too much trouble. He doesn’t usually wake up this warm though. He curls back into that warmth, wanting to stay for just another minute before starting his day. He counts to sixty in his head and then forces his eyes to open, to face the day and make some breakfast.

...But this isn’t his apartment. He stiffens against the warmth now, realizing with that he didn’t actually wake up and leave Kuroo’s apartment. Soft morning light drifts through the windows and Tsukki turns, just enough that he can see Kuroo behind him, his face, thankfully, slack with sleep.

“Shit,” he breathes, gut clenching. He shifts, testing to see if Kuroo is a light sleeper, and when the other man merely nuzzles closer to him, he sighs and slips out of the bed. He grabs his glasses, slipping them on and looking for his pants. He drags them on, wincing when the buckle on his belt jingles.

Kuroo reaches over and pats the warm space next to him on the bed. He sits up quickly, bleary eyes scanning the room and landing on Tsukki. He relaxes and flops back onto the bed.

“Mmm, morning babe...” he groans sleepily. “No pants allowed in bed…”

Tsukki bristles, keeping his back turned to Kuroo so that he can school his face into something unfazed. He turns, forcing a smile onto his face, but it falls flat as a grimace.

“Ah, sorry, I meant to leave last night,” he says, keeping his voice light.

“But breakfast,” Kuroo sighs, and it occurs to Tsukki that maybe he’s not even awake, “I promised breakfast, don't go…” he rolls over and nuzzles a pillow, but peeks through his lashes down at Tsukki. “C’mere…”

Tsukki feels himself go hot and he crosses his arms to protect himself.  

“You really don’t have to make this...more that it is- was,” he says, looking away. It’s tempting to crawl into bed, to make this more than one - admittedly great - night. “I might be new to,” he waves a hand around vaguely, “all of this, but I know what a one night stand is.”

“Tsukki don’t be ridiculous,” Kuroo grumbles, snuggly air giving way to a bit of morning crabbiness. “We were up so late, it’s too damn _early,_ ” he complains, despite not knowing what time it actually is. “Its Sunday, the lord’s day of _rest_!”

Tsukki blinks. “I didn’t know you were such a devout follower of christianity,” he snarks with rolled eyes. “considering everything we did last night was decidedly...sinful.”

Kuroo rolls onto his back dramatically and props himself up on his elbows, cocking his head to the side and back slightly, looking down at Tsukki. The blankets have shifted to just barely and very immodestly cover him, adonis belt and happy trail pronounced tantalizingly. His usual sexy lopsided grin makes its first appearance of the day.

“Who said anything about _Christianity_?” he scoffs. “There’s more than one lord. I’ll have you know I commune with a pantheon of _demons_ to get these powers.”

Tsukki feels his cheeks heat, and he has to look away. It’s either that or risk an awkward boner; some of the scratches he put on Kuroo last night are still _there_ , not to mention his bite on his chest.

“That--” he chokes, “you’re right, that’s much more believable,” he says. “You could at least pretend that naked isn’t your default.”

He doesn’t bother to mention that Kuroo is making it very hard to concentrate on his exit strategy.

Kuroo laughs, the sound real and deep in his chest.

“Naked is _everyone’s_ default. For the last time, take those off and come _here_.”

God, Tsukki wishes that Kuroo’s laugh didn’t _do things_ to him, that it didn’t make fire pool low in his belly. He glances at the door. He can see his bag and his cello case waiting for him, but looks back at Kuroo. He sighs, thinking ‘ _fuck it_ ’ and fumbles with his belt for a second. It doesn’t take him long to be back in just his underwear and t shirt and he comes back over to the bed, easing himself down so that he can sit against the headboard. He keeps his hands in his lap and thinks I _should have left when I had the chance._

Kuroo’s limbs spread across Tsukki like time-lapse footage of ivy overtaking a structure. His right leg ensnares Tsukki’s calf, his right arm snakes over and around his thigh, leaving his left to caress its way up and around Tsukki’s torso under his shirt. He noses Tsukki’s hands apart and places a kiss to his palm before nuzzling his head into Tsukki’s lap.

“Thats better,” Kuroo sighs.

Tsukki’s not sure how to make Kuroo stop, or even if he can, but before he knows it, the other man has covered him. His stomach shudders when he feels Kuroo’s hot skin against his, and that shudder crawls up to his neck. He holds his hands up, not sure what to do with them. After a second, a deep breath, he sighs, letting one of his hands fall into Kuroo’s hair. It’s softer this morning, and actually less ridiculous that normal, despite the rough treatment the night before. His other hand rests by his side, fingers tangling in the rumpled sheets.

After a long moment, Kuroo shifts and looks up at Tsukki.

“You didn’t answer my question from last night,” he says. “What do you think?”

God had he _asked a question_ last night? Was Tsukki _that out of it_?! His cheeks flush and he looks at the wall, brows furrowed as he tries to think of an answer to that loaded question. Truth is, he doesn’t know if last night was a mistake. Now he knows what he’s been missing. He won’t be able to go back into denial, which might be a good thing in the long run, and he can’t imagine this being his everyday life.

“It was...fine,” he says lamely. It wasn’t _fine_ , god, what a stupid thing to say. Tsukki’s never going to be the same again and it’s all thanks to the infuriating, nonchalant, provocative man currently looking at him like this is something _normal._

“That answer is invalid,” Kuroo says plainly. “ _Fine_ is a word people hide behind, and I need to know if you’re hiding pleasure or disappointment. Please?”

Tsukki scoffs, looking at the ceiling like he’s looking to god for strength.

“I--what do you want me to say? You’re the best lay I’ve ever had?” he asks. Part of him wishes that Kuroo couldn’t see through him so damn _well_.

Kuroo sighs deeply, it’s too early to think of a snide remark to that, and tucks his face back to Tsukki’s lap.

“I don’t know why you aren't just honest,” he muses, purposely leaving off the designation of to whom Tsukki should be honest. “No sex isn’t better than _bad_ sex,” he pauses, debating if he should spell it all the way out. He does. “And while _I_ had fun last night, I have no real way of knowing if you did. So I need you to tell me what you think about having sex with me.”

Tsukki wasn’t expecting a sincere answer. He deflates, finally looking down at Kuroo, and wishes that the other man didn’t look so at home in his lap. He uses the hand not in Kuroo’s hair to rub at his eyes, pushing his glasses up. He lets himself breathe, listens to Kuroo’s steady breath; it’s soothing.

“I’m angry,” he admits quietly, barely a whisper. He curls his fingers deep in Kuroo’s hair, hoping that he’s not going to cry - he’s not a _baby_ for fuck’s sake. This whole ordeal should not be making his eyes burn. “I’m angry...because I’m never going to be able to go back,” he finishes, his voice cracking.

Kuroo would ordinarily address that crack, but Tsukki is more comfortable when Kuroo isn't looking directly at him. He makes soothing circles on Tsukki’s ribcage.

“Go back to what?” he asks.

Tsukki swallows past the lump in his throat.

“I can’t go back--to my _life_ ,” he growls, his heart is thundering against his chest. “Because I’m not going to be able to forget last night. and I - I’m going to have- I  don’t think I can go on with how things were knowing-” he stops on a quiet sob, unable to bite it back, “fuck, knowing that something can feel that good.”

“You are, by far, the most panicky queer I’ve ever had the pleasure of breaking in,” Kuroo says, kindly and mournfully, rolling over slightly to bring his face into Tsukki’s full view. “It must suck for you to you run from every good thing you experience. You’re so busy hiding that you’re missing every detail in front of you.”

“Fuck you,” Tsukki spits, scrubbing at his face. Kuroo’s hand on his side feels like a burn. "I’m not- I’m not _running_ right now am I?” he asks, glaring down at Kuroo’s pitying expression.

“You’re talking about your life and last night as separate things,” Kuroo points out, with less concern in his voice thanks to that _fuck you_ . “And you’re acting like you’d be content if this never happened, that _having to remember it_ is the worst thing on earth.” Kuroo closes his eyes and exhales, looking away when he opens them, “That kind of _hurts._ ”

Tsukki’s heart sinks. He stares down at Kuroo, tears making his vision swim. "I-” he starts, tucking his chin down and biting his lip. He lets the hand still resting in Kuroo’s hair card through the messy strands, pausing for a second before sighing, trailing his fingers down Kuroo’s cheek gently. "I would have been- content not knowing. Wondering - it’s easier. Now I _know_ , which means I won’t be able to stop _wanting_ ,” he says, voice shaking in his confession. "I- Ku- Tetsurou I was _safe_ before last night, but--now I’m not going to ever be able to stop wanting you.”

Kuroo is silent for a long while, weighing the information before him in his mind and thinking out his response. He’s not new to this and has experienced his fair share of clingy first-times. He’s also experienced his fair share of being used. But this isn’t either of those things. His first impulse is to scoff, _oh no, what a nightmare,_ but then he looks up at Tsukki, vulnerable and crying above him.

"I liked being able to let go,” he says slowly, "It feels good for me and I like your reaction. That happens when I can _trust_ that you want it. Next time, you should give yourself more credit - trust yourself, you know?”

It takes Tsukki a few seconds to fully absorb Kuroo’s words. He shifts his legs; he wants to pull them in close, but he wants Kuroo to move even less. He lets out a shuddering breath, pushing Kuroo’s hair out of his face and scrunching his fingers in it, letting his nails scratch gently at his scalp. He doesn’t know what to say, just mulls over what Kuroo said, piecing it together slowly, until, “Wait- next time?” he asks, his voice awed. He hadn’t expected Kuroo to be interested in a second time.

Kuroo grins his usual grin, “Naturally. If _that_ was your first time, I shudder to think what you’ll be like with practice.” he exaggerates a shiver rolling down his body, then looks at Tsukki seriously, “and with better communication skills. Seriously, you _have_ to tell me what you want when I ask, even if it’s vague. Having to guess all the time makes me feel like a creep. And some research wouldn’t hurt, so you can ask me what I want too.” he pauses thoughtfully before grinning wildly, "I volunteer for hands-on demonstrations~”

The laugh that bubbles out of Tsukki is soft, but it feels good against his chest. Count on Kuroo to be ridiculous.

"It’s just- it’s embarrassing,” he says, trying to be defensive even though his tone falls flat. “Despite what you say,” he adds, knowing the Kuroo will probably insist that he’s “sexy” or something. He teases at Kuroo’s hair again, biting his lip. “What else - besides my hands - what do you,” he coughs, glancing away to try and hide his blush. “Like?”

Kuroo smiles, bites his lip a little at Tsukki raking through his hair. He turns and places several kisses to Tsukki’s abs, just above his waistline. Then his stomach growls loudly. Slightly embarrassed, Kuroo answers, “Omelets.”

Tsukki whines at the kisses, so close to what they were doing last night, but once Kuroo’s stomach starts talking the serious air in the room is gone. He coughs before laughing, wiping his eyes and nodding “Okay sure.”


	2. June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No that’s not-” Tsukki groans. Why can’t any of this be easy? “I mean, if that’s what you want, that’s fine, I guess, I just- I didn’t want to assume because outside of the bar - you’re right! - we don’t really hang out. So is this just hanging out, or are we going to have-- hook up?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo, thanks to everyone that has subscribed, left kudos, comments, and bookmarked! He11ebore and I are so excited to be able to share the second chapter. 
> 
> Once again, we couldn't have done this without becauseISaidSo! If you like Harry Potter fic, go over and check out her greek system texting fic, it is hilarious!
> 
> Enjoy~~~

When Tsukki receives Kuroo’s text about hanging out and watching movies, he thinks that it might be a euphemism. 

When he asks Yamaguchi about it, his roommate shrugs and tells him Kuroo would probably say “come over and have sex,” which makes Tsukki’s face go red. 

Yamaguchi’s nonchalant tone aside, Tsukki thinks he’s probably right. Still, after work on the day they picked, he makes sure to wash...thoroughly. He’d been doing some mortifying research on the intricacies of gay sex. 

He’d also been doing an absurd amount of jerking off.

When he gets to Kuroo’s apartment, he buzzes up. He climbs the stairs, his stomach doing flip flops. What should he expect? What if Yamaguchi was wrong and Kuroo is expecting him to be ready as soon as he opens the door? He grips his bag, and  _ shit _ what if that’s presumptuous, bringing a bag like he’s going to spend the night again. By the time he reaches Kuroo’s door and knocks, he’s already a mess of nerves. 

The door swings open, and the tall and tan drink of water that is Kuroo Tetsurou says, “Hey there,” stepping to the side to allow for Tsukki to enter his apartment. As Tsukki walks by, Kuroo senses something off about him. “Are you feeling okay?” 

Tsukki brushes by Kuroo and sets his bag on the floor.

“Ah, yes,” he says, giving Kuroo a fleeting smile. “Do you have something that you want to watch, specifically?” 

He glances at the couch. He can easily see them skipping that and going right to the bedroom, but Kuroo hadn’t mentioned anything about that. And it’s not like they really hung out outside of the bar. He rubs his hands on his thighs and then holds them together, finally turning to face Kuroo fully.

_ Shit, _ Kuroo thinks,  _ you forgot to pick a movie _ .

"I, ah,” Kuroo starts, rubbing the back of his head, “thought I'd let you pick.”  _ Good save, Tetsurou _ , "We’ve never really hung out outside of the bar, and I thought maybe you’d be more comfortable if we just spent some time close together.”

Tsukki nods, but he wonders what does close mean? 

“Ah, what kind of movie do you like?” Tsukki asks, twisting his fingers together. He catches himself looking at Kuroo's lips and flushes, glancing at his hands.

“Take a look on my computer, there’s a folder on my desktop,” Kurro indicates the laptop on the coffee table and crosses the threshold to the kitchen, which only has a counter separating it from the living room. 

Tsukki settles himself on the couch, quickly locating the “movies” folder and clicking through. He chooses something that Yamaguchi had seen, had said was funny, but then for a hookup maybe romance would be better? Or maybe not.  _ Fuck. _

"What do you want to drink? Water? Soda? Beer? Wine?” Kurro drops his voice, letting a tinge of seduction through, ”tea with honey?”  

Tsukki jumps out of his thoughts and shivers at the implication. Maybe - should he say yes? Is Kuroo asking him if he wants to have sex at some point? Because - well there were a couple of things he’d seen that he was interested in trying, but is that what tonight is for?

“Ah- uh, water,” he croaks, turning back to the computer with red cheeks.

Kuroo saunters to the coffee table, with water for Tsukki and a mug of something hot for himself. Tsukki prays that Kuroo can’t see his flush. 

“Did you pick something?” Kuroo asks, sitting next to Tsukki so close their thighs touch. Tsukki nods, hastily double-clicking the one tadashi said he enjoyed. 

The movie opens and the scene is innocuous enough, a man sitting on the beach, and then approaching a furniture truck. Moving a couch upstairs. Kuroo, however, recognizes the movie immediately. He leans back on the couch, putting an arm around Tsukki.

“Ohoho?”

Tsukki stiffens at Kuroo’s obvious amusement, looking over and then back to the tv.

“Why’d you say that?” He asks warily.

“Don't look at me! You're the one who picked the stripper movie!” Kuroo laughs. 

“What?!” He yelps, sliding himself down the couch so that no part of him and Kuroo are touching. His neck is hot and the suddenly, there is a naked man on screen. 

“Oh - shit- no I'm sorry” he says, slapping at the computer’s spacebar to pause the movie.

Kuroo is gasping with laughter, “Tsukki, you have  _ got  _ to unwind a little.” He catches his breath, grins, and starts to crawl over to Tsukki, "A naked man is nothing you haven't seen before, after all…”

Tsukki shrinks back from the laughter. 

“W-well I just - it’s not funny! I didn’t want to give the wrong impression,” he snaps, standing up as Kuroo gets closer.

Kuroo is taken aback by Tsukki retreating. He sits back down and runs his fingers through his hair. He sighs deeply.

“Remember the whole ‘tell me how you feel or I don't know what you're feeling’ thing? Could you maybe enlighten me?”

Tsukki sighs, running his hands over his hair. “I- I don’t know what,” he starts, he waves his hand between them, “this is - not - what tonight is,” he says. He looks over at Kuroo and sighs again, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What? Being intimate? Would you rather we just screw? Because believe me, I can oblige-”

“No that’s not-” Tsukki groans. _ Why can’t any of this be easy? _ “I mean, if that’s what you want, that’s fine, I guess, I just- I didn’t want to assume because outside of the bar - you’re right! - we don’t really hang out. So is this just hanging out, or are we going to have- hook up?” 

His voice comes out higher than he would like. 

Kuroo places a hand to his chest in mock offense, “Just hanging out?” He pauses, "And, well, if you want to have sex that's certainly something I'm interested in, but you seem apprehensive?”

Tsukki shrugs, twisting his hands. “It's more that...I didn't know what to expect - what to prepare myself for,” he admits with a blush. “But I may have seen some things that I'd be,” he looks down at his hands. “Interested in trying,” he says, looking at Kuroo through his eyelashes.

Kuroos heartbeat quickens that Tsukki is interested in taking the lead and trying something. 

“Sorry, that's completely my fault,” Kuroo admits, "I thought a more gradual night without planning that we’re gonna fuck would soothe your nerves. Next time I'll just say it flat out.”

Kuroo pats the couch next to him, looking at Tsukki with a sliver of the interest he's really feeling, “But since you seem to want to tell me some things flat out… what's on the menu tonight?” 

Tsukki nods slowly. A gradual night actually sounds nice. He eases himself back onto the couch, keeping his hands on his lap. He glances at the computer screen, now dark, and then at Kuroo. His expression sends heat into his stomach. 

“I don’t know if I'd go that far,” he says quietly. “I just did - research,” the memory of some of the things he watched sends a shudder through him. He looks at Kuroo, his hands, and before he can think about it, he leans forward, putting a hand on the couch between them and pressing his lips to Kuroo’s in a slightly clumsy kiss.

Kuroo isn't expecting the kiss but melts into it after a short moment of surprise. He puts his hand on Tsukki's gently. “What kind of research?” He whispers against the younger man's mouth. 

Tsukki tucks his chin down, his cheeks red at the memory. “I- a lot of different things,” he says. “About sex, obviously,” he adds quickly, "I don’t - I'm not ready for you to- fuck me, but,” he pauses, swallowing against the embarrassment of saying this out loud. “Maybe you could- my thighs.”

Kuroos eyes flash down to Tsukki's thighs and back. 

“Tsukki I can think of several things I'd love to do to those thighs…” he says, then tips Tsukki's chin up with one finger, “Maybe I could kiss and lick and bite them while I tease your cock with my hands,” he whispers, and begins kissing Tsukki's jaw line to his ear, “or I could scratch and bruise them up while I suck you off,” he kisses down Tsukki's neck and raises his voice slightly, “or I can slick you up and slide my cock between them…or-”

“Ah-” Tsukki breathes, squirming slightly. Tsukki melts a little as Kuroo kisses his jaw, whining at the image Kuroo creates. He can feel his pants getting tighter and he presses the heel of his palm in his lap. “I- yes,” he hisses. He’d been thinking of the last one, but, all of those sound amazing. 

“My my,” Kuroo croons, "I like this.” He slides one hand down Tsukki's side and onto his lap, feeling how hard the man is. Tsukki chokes, his body lurching into Kuroo’s. His voice is thick with desire but somehow light and flirty when he says, "Why don’t you share your findings? From the research?”

Tsukki hides his face in Kuroo’s neck, breathing hard, and god, from so little.

“I- I saw a lot,” he says, letting his lips brush against Kuroo’s neck as he speaks, "I- ah - I read about i-inter-” he stops, shivering. “And I- I watched a video with e-edging.“

That had been a...particularly interesting evening. He’d tried to edge himself, but, he’d come too fast on the first try. His hips shift at the thought.

Kuroo finds himself short of breath imagining repressed, tense, inexperienced Tsukki stroking his own cock, panting and flushed, whimpering and so close and then stopping himself, arching back in torment and-

“D-did you try anything?” Kuroo asks, his arousal more evident than intended. 

Tsukki nods, leaning back to look at Kuroo. His tone is...Tsukki thinks he could get addicted to that tone if he’s not careful. He bites his lip, shifting his hips under Kuroo’s hand. He had tried a lot of things, once the floodgates had opened. One night, he kept thinking about what Kuroo had said, that sex didn’t end with orgasm, and he just kept  _ going _ , until he couldn’t come another time.

"I tried edging, but-” he leans forward, brushing his lips against Kuroo’s and whispers, “maybe that’s something that we could...try, sometime,” he says quietly, his cheeks burning. 

“You overestimate me, babe,” Kuroo slides his fingertips just under the hem of Tsukki's shirt, “you assume I'd be able to resist making you fall to pieces…” 

Tsukki gasps, just a little, when he feels Kuroo’s fingers. He pushes forward to kiss him, curling his fingers into Kuroo’s shirt. He lets his tongue swipe across Kuroo’s bottom lip, humming into the kiss when Kuroo opens his mouth for him.

After a second he pulls away and whispers, "I want you- over me, please.”

Kuroo places a hand to Tsukki's chest and pushes him down onto the couch. He positions himself so that his thigh is between Tsukki's legs. He leans down and licks the tender flesh of the blond's neck.

“Mmm, I remember,” he breathes, “you like me here. So edging, inte _ rcrural,  _ and….anything else?”

Tsukki moans, pressing himself against Kuroo’s leg for a moment. He whimpers as Kuroo pays attention to his neck and lets his his hands drift into Kuroo’s hair. He loses track of his thoughts for a few seconds because,  _ damn, _ Kuroo knows that he’s doing. 

"Ahm, I- n-no,” he stammers. 

He’s lying, but he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to say the words ‘orgasm denial’ out loud. He thinks just having Kuroo fuck him will be enough, whenever that happens.

“This is - this is good,” he says, remembering Kuroo’s request to tell him how he feels.

“Yeah,” Kuroo whispers, “does this position stir up any…” he grinds his hips down, pressing his thigh against Tsukki’s half-hard cock, “memories?”

Tsukki gasps, clutching harder at Kuroo’s hair at his taunt. Kuroo hisses in delicious pain, stifling a moan in the back of his throat.

“No,” Tsukki lies, giving Kuroo his best glare despite his  _ distracting _ hips and thigh. “no, this isn’t familiar at all.”

"Well  _ last time _ I was in this position,” Kuroo recalls, "I was tiptoeing around telling a very anxious certain virgin that I wanted him to fuck me. And that certain virgin was raking his nails down my back and testing my self-control.”

Tsukki’s fingers twitch at the memory. Rather than answer, he pulls Kuroo down for a kiss, arching his body and pressing his hips down against Kuroo’s thigh with a moan. He bites at Kuroo’s lip, letting his hands scratch down Kuroo’s neck and tease at the edge of his shirt.

Kuroo exhales deeply, feels pleasure creeping into his mind and skin again, "And it looks like that certain virgin - well, ex-virgin, now - has had a productive week. You’re good at this.” He shifts his weight to one side and slides his hand up Tsukki’s shirt, gliding his fingers over those tight abs.

Tsukki moans as his muscles jump under Kuroo’s hand. He pulls at Kuroo’s shirt in retaliation, scrunching it up until he can feel hot skin under his hands. He scratches his nails up Kuroo’s spine. Kuroo bites his lip to keep from reacting audibly.

“N-no,” Tsukki says, biting at Kuroo’s jaw lightly, then soothing the hurt with his tongue. This time Kuroo is unable to keep the sweet, deep sound from escaping his throat. “You’re just obvious. When it comes to my hands,” he finishes with a roll of his hips. He kisses Kuroo’s neck. No one will notice, or rather care, if Kuroo has a hickey on his neck.

“Being good at it is about being attentive.” Kuroo slides his fingers higher on Tsukki’s torso and over one of his nipples, “You’re actually paying more attention to me than to yourself this time...” he pinches, twisting Tsukki’s erect his nipple slightly, “Progress~”

Tsukki yelps, biting down on Kuroo’s shoulder, and what came out of Kuroo’s mouth was less of a yelp than a sharp cry of pleasure. 

“That  _ hurt _ ,” Tsukki growls. He pulls at Kuroo’s shirt until the other man leans up enough for him to pull it off and gets his hands on his hips. "It was - hard to not be... self-centered,” he admits softly, cheeks heating up with shame. “Last time was- it was very new, but, I'll try to be better,” he says with a kiss to the bite mark on Kuroo’s shoulder.

With his sex drive no longer idling, Kuroo overtakes Tsukki’s mouth in a messy, hungry kiss. Both of his hands press into Tsukki’s chest, teasing both nipples softly. Tsukki whimpers, pushing his chest up. 

“Prove it,” Kuroo growls, gyrating his hips so that his fully hard cock rubs on Tsukki’s thigh. 

Tsukki gasps, his hips thrusting up. He moves his hands from Kuroo’s hips to his shoulders, letting his nails press into the flesh where his neck meets his shoulder on either side. Kuroo seems to like that. He presses messy kisses onto Kuroo’s mouth. 

“So, besides my hands and - ah - telling you w-what I like, what- what turns you on?”

Kuroo groans, brows furrowing in pain but the open set of his mouth betrays how good he feels when Tsukki scratches him. He moves backward, giving up Tsukki’s mouth in favor of his abs. He places several kisses and licks on the taut flesh there, feeling his muscles work to move his hips.

“Take a guess,” Kuroo teases, nipping at his skin gently.

“Shit,” Tsukki breathes, letting his head fall back before shifting so that he can rest on his elbows and watch Kuroo. The older man makes a delicious sight. He leans to one side so that he can card his fingers through Kuroo’s hair, enjoying the way that his hair is softer than Tsukki originally expected. He gives the hair an experimental tug. He smirks when he feels a hard exhale on his stomach followed by a sharp hiss.. 

“You get off on pain, don’t you?” he asks. The thought sends heat to his core.

Turns out of all the ways to ask that question, Tsukki picked the most loaded one. 

Kuroo glances up at him. Kuroos lips are pink, slightly parted and roughed up from biting and kissing. His eyes aren’t sharp and lack their usual roguish glint; instead they’re soft and dark. He’s flushed from his cheeks to his chest. 

“Yes,” he breathes, voice small and quiet and deep all at once. 

Well that...that is more than Tsukki bargained for. He’s not sure what to do with this. This isn’t- this isn’t the Kuroo he’s used to. He lets up on Kuroo’s hair, letting his fingers rest there instead of pulling.

“Oh,” he says, not sure what else to do.

After a moment, Kuroo seems to recall himself. He blinks several times, his breathing deepens, and by the time he’s opened his eyes, his usual flirty, sexy look is back, tinged with something new -  _ is that embarrassment? _ \- directed at Tsukki. Even the set of his jaw changes, and Kuroo resumes kissing and licking up his torso. 

He clears his throat softly, "I mean...you could say that.” he pushes Tsukki’s shirt up higher and licks his nipple, hoping that the distraction would keep them from having this particular conversation right now.

It works. Tsukki gasps, his hips bucking up. He cards his fingers through Kuroo’s hair and over his shoulders. It doesn’t take long for him to be a mess - who the fuck knew that his nipples could be so  _ sensitive _ ? 

Silently relieved, Kuroo peeks up through his fringe, “leaving marks?” he asks softly. 

Tsukki sucks in a sharp breath. He remembers how he'd had the last ones for  _ days _ , what they'd felt like when he'd touched them, alone in his room, and he nods quickly. 

“Y-yeah - just not my neck,” he says. He looks like a twelve year old when he wears turtlenecks.

“I knew that before you did,” Kuroo says, only a little bit smug. 

He sucks gently on Tsukishima’s nipple, and then motions for Tsukki to take his shirt off. 

Tsukki sits up only enough to pull the offending clothing off with slightly shaking fingers.

Kuroo trails his tongue across the younger man’s clavicle and into the hollow of his throat before moving to the other side. He opens his mouth and sucks gently, then runs his tongue over the bruise.

“Do you like it when I bite you?”

Tsukki lifts a trembling hand and puts it to the side of Kuroo’s face. He tries to smirk, but it’s hard when Kuroo is looking at him like that. 

"I think- you know I did,” he accuses, “you just want to hear me say it.”

His cheeks are bright red as he says it, because it’s hard not to think about how he’d pressed his fingers into the bruises Kuroo had left, how that had sent him over the edge.

“I don’t recall actually biting you last time.” Kuroo ponders softly, and then sinks his teeth into the juncture of Tsukki’s neck and shoulder, while pressing his palm along Tsukki’s erection. 

Tsukki, well he wouldn’t like to think of the sound he makes as a  _ scream _ , but it’s a near thing. His hips thrust up into Kuroo’s hand and god that’s a  _ nice _ mix of sensations. 

“F-fuck,” he breathes, “not like  _ that _ you didn’t.” he grinds his hips into Kuroo’s hand, holding onto his shoulders and ducking as well as he can to kiss him.

When he feels Tsukki's kisses, Kuroo surfaces to kiss him back. He reaches between them and pops the button to Tsukki's trousers one-handed. 

“My, my, Tsukki,” Kuroo drawls against his mouth, “you get off on  _ pain,  _ don't you?” he punctuates those last words with the sound of Tsukki's pants unzipping. He then descends, pulling down the waistband of Tsukki's boxers to lick at his Adonis belt. 

Tsukki just grunts, taking one of his hands to cover up his mouth. It’s definitely something that he’s going to have to look into  _ now. _ His fingers twitch in Kuroo’s hair, his breathing picking up because Kuroo looks  _ so good _ between his thighs.

"W-we should move,” he says, giving a pointed look at the door to Kuroo’s bedroom.

Kuroo stands, enjoying the view of Tsukki already looking debauched before offering a hand to help him up. 

When they get to the bedroom, Kuroo shoves Tsukki back onto the bed, and crawls over him like a cat assessing his prey. Tsukki watches him coming with wide eyes. His cock twitches in the open V of his zipper. Kuroo kisses Tsukki fiercely, catching his lower lip between his teeth before leaning down and paying attention to his neck, now easier to access than on the couch. 

Tsukki whines, holding onto Kuroo’s upper arms, letting his nails press as he gasps for breath. This man might kill him before the night is over. 

“Please - Tetsurou, my chest,” he whines, worried that Kuroo might leave him with hickies all over his neck.

A wave of pleasure rolls down Kuroos body. He allows it take his hands over, weaving one into Tsukki's hair and allowing his weight to fall on that elbow. Tsukki lets one of his own hands slide from Kuroo’s arm to his waist when Kuroo shifts. Kurro slides his other hand down and works Tsukki’s boxers down to release his cock. 

Tsukki thrusts against his hand, biting his lip against the whine that wants to come out.

“Fuck,” he says once he feels more in control of his voice. 

He kisses Kuroo’s jaw, giving him little bites and soothing them with his lips and tongue after. 

“Tetsurou please,” he whispers into Kuroo’s ear before nipping at the lobe.

“Tetsurou please, what?” Kuroo says, with a slight crack in his voice, spreading precum along the head of Tsukki's cock, “Tetsurou please fuck my thighs? Please suck my cock? Please bring me to the precipice of orgasm and then drag me back no matter how much I moan and beg otherwise?”

Tsukki curses, hips stuttering at the thought. He hides his face in Kuroo’s shoulder, his breath hot and damp on the hot skin.

“Yesss,” he hisses, pressing his fingers harder into Kuroo’s skin when he thinks about Kuroo slicking his thighs, sliding his cock between them. He wants Kuroo to leave marks that will make him remember for days. “Please,” he says again, punctuating the syllable with a thrust of his hips.

Kuroo is taking off Tsukki's pants, boxers, and socks in one quick go, leaving Tsukki to reel about how fast he finds himself nude in front of the older man. Kuroo follows suit and Tsukki isn't even sure where his clothes went  _ so fast _ . He shoves Tsukki to the side and settles in behind him, sliding his tongue from the nape of his neck to his hairline. 

It honestly takes Tsukki a second to realize what’s happening. Damn, when Kuroo decides he’s ready he’s fucking  _ ready _ . He doesn’t even get the chance to admire his tan body, because before he knows it, Kuroo is behind him. 

Tsukki wriggles against Kuroo, can feel his cock pressing into the meat of his ass, and he shudders at the combined anticipation of what’s happening and Kuroo’s tongue. 

Kuroo reaches for the lube, pumps his hand full, and slicks his cock up. He rubs it along Tsukki’s ass, from the cleft slowly down, biting Tsukki’s shoulder as his cock slides across his tight hole. He maintains pressure there and  _ groans _ against Tsukki's flesh.  

Tsukki’s moan turns into a choke, and his muscles clench before he can think about what he should do. He’s not--

"Ah- Ku-Kuroo I'm not-”

Kuroo doesn't give him a response. He simply slides his cock down to glide along Tsukki's perineum, the friction delightful for Kuroo and the pressure suffocating for Tsukki. One hand wraps around Tsukki's cock, the other claws into Tsukki's chest. 

Tsukki groans, his hips shifting back on their own at the feeling of Kuroo’s thick cock between his legs, but they stop and jerk into Kuroo’s grip. Tsukki closes his eyes, pressing the back of his hand to his mouth. The nails on his skin  _ hurt _ but the pain is overwhelmed by the feeling of being  _ surrounded _ by Kuroo. He doesn’t know what to do with his other hand, letting it grip the sheets in front of him.

“Kei…” Kuroo moans against Tsukki’s neck. He pulls his hips back, slowly, making sure that Tsukki can feel him the entire way before thrusting back in between those delicious thighs. 

_ This isn’t going to take long _ , he thinks, letting his hips pick up a nice, long rhythm. He slides his cock right against Tsukki’s as he pumps the younger man’s cock in time with his thrusts. 

Tsukki shakes in Kuroo’s grasp, his moans broken by panted breaths. He tries to work his hips in time with Kuroo’s, but it’s hard to keep track of the rhythm when he’s being hit with so many delicious sensations. He bites the back of his hand against a choked cry as Kuroo’s fingers start to work his nipple. He thinks he might be saying Kuroo’s name, but there’s just too much  _ happening _ for him to pay attention.

With Tsukki's firm thighs surround Kuroos cock in heat and friction, his body undulating with Kuroos thrusts, his voice moaning Kuroo’s name over and over, Tetsurou feels himself slipping and fast. He bites down in Tsukki’s shoulder, groaning desperately, imagining what Tsukki will be like when he’s ready to take a cock in his ass.

“Kei,  _ tighter…. _ ”

Tsukki clenches his legs, pressing his knees harder together. God, if  _ this _ feels so good, what’s it going to be like when Kuroo is actually  _ inside of him _ ? Tsukki shudders at the thought, reach back and grabbing onto Kuroo’s hip.

“God- Tetsu-” he gasps out, “so good-”

With the extra pressure, Kuroos moans catch in his throat. His breathing quickens, and he's so- just a little -  _ there- _ !

“God - f-fuck!” Kuroo hisses against Tsukki's flesh, coming all over his beautiful thighs. Tsukki moans, his thighs shaking for holding them so tightly.    
  
Kuroo’s come makes it even smoother and he keeps gliding between Tsukki's legs. He doesn’t stop until he's raw and shaking from oversensitivity. 

“God, Kei,” Kuroo sighs, flopping onto his back and stretching, “that was amazing.”

“Y-yeah,” Tsukki gasps, turning so that he can look at Kuroo’s face. He’s gorgeous. Tsukki feels like an exposed wire, shivers going over his flushed skin. The air in the room feels freezing against his wet thighs, which god, is a mix of hot and disgusting, and he seeks out Kuroo’s warmth. He so hard it hurts,  and he wraps his hand around his base to give himself some relief. 

“Tetsurou, please,” he says, his voice breaking around his panting breaths.

Kuroo, eyelids heavy, grins and swats Tsukki's hand away from his cock. He reaches into the nightstand drawer and withdraws a washcloth. He positions himself between Tsukki's legs and gently cleans off the come and lube, taking his time and downright leering at the man beneath him. 

Tsukki groans, pressing his hands against his eyes. 

“You - fucker,” he says through gritted teeth. His hips won’t stop moving and it doesn’t take him long to reach down again, needing some kind of friction against his cock. 

“That sounds about right,” Kuroo says, once again removing Tsukki's hands. He holds Tsukki's wrists down and shifts so that his mouth hovers over Tsukki's hard flushed cock. He breathes hotly over it and chuckles darkly when Tsukki squirms. He ghosts his tongue over the tip. 

Tsukki whines as he moves his hips closer to Kuroo’s mouth.

“Fuck, fuck, please, Tetsurou,” he pants. His hands work against Kuroo’s grip as he squirms, but the older man has him held fast.

Kuroo disengages Tsukki's cock and trails his tongue up his thigh.

“No, no, no, please,” Tsukki whines, throwing his head back against the bed. 

Kuroo works his way down and back on each thigh, leaving bruises and hickeys in his wake and moaning lewdly. It’s wonderful and horrible, because he’s so so  _ so close _ to where Tsukki needs him.

After what seems like hours, Tsukki can’t find the energy to struggle. He bites his lip, forcing himself to take deep breaths. Kuroo digs his fingertips into Tsukki's thighs and takes his entire cock into his mouth in one smooth motion, applying suction and tongue on the way up while clawing into his thighs. 

“ _ SHIT _ ,” Tsukki cries, arching his back and grabbing hold of Kuroo’s hair, pulling at it desperately. It’s too much at once after so much build up. “I- ah, fuck Kuroo I'm gonna-”

“Nope.” Kuroo says, tearing Tsukki's hands out of his hair and releasing his cock to give the same treatment to the other thigh with his mouth, but with more  _ teeth _ , punishing Tsukki for the fact that Kuroos cock is hard and heavy between his own legs. 

Tsukki thrashes, arching his back. Just one second ago he was falling, and now Kuroo has pulled him back from the edge, too hot and too cold at the same time.

“Fuc- you, Tetsurou - please, please please,” he begs. All of his muscles feel too tight, his legs shaking under Kuroo’s treatment. Distantly he realizes that he’s going to have marks, but all he can focus on is the fact that Kuroo isn’t  _ touching his cock _ .

“Please what, Kei?” Kuroo says against Tsukki's flesh, feigning innocence even as he grips his wrists tighter. "Is there something you want?”

Tsukki can’t stop the sob that rips out of him. He cock is leaking precum and he’s just so  _ close _ . 

“You- fuck, fuck, you  _ know what _ ,” he spits, because he doesn’t want to give the smug bastard the satisfaction.

“Keep swearing at me, baby, I  _ love _ it,” Kuroo moans before gripping the base of Tsukki's cock so hard he couldn't come if he tried. He tongues the slit and digs his nails down Tsukki's thigh with his other hand. 

Tsukki keens, trying to lift his hips. Kuroo withdraws completely, and Tsukki curls forward, using his newly free hands to claw at Kuroo’s back desperately.

“You fucking-”

Kuroos face twists in pain, baring his teeth at Tsukki. He then opens his mouth and takes Tsukki's cock to the base, where his fingers maintain a tight hold, swallowing once around the head. He moves the hand that's gripping Tsukki's thigh and presses the heel of his palm to his perineum. 

Tsukki falls back and he grips at his own hair, trying to thrust his hips up. If Kuroo would just let him go….

“Fuck, fuc- you bastard,” he hisses. The pressure on his perineum makes him choke and he stares at Kuroo with wide eyes. His fingers grip the sheets as he waits, breathing hard. 

“All you have to do-” Kuroo says thickly, deep throats Tsukki, hums against his cock, and comes back up, “-is tell me-” he does it again “-what you want…” and  _ again _ , “maybe I'll give it to you.” 

Tsukki growls at the ‘maybe’.  _ What a smug asshole. _

“Fuck you,” he snaps, but his shaking legs and spasming abs betray him. He whines in frustration, pushing his hips down. He feels like a rubber band that’s about to snap.

“Well in that case,” Kuroo says simply, removing himself from Tsukki aside from his hand still gripping the base. He sits back on his heels, “I guess I'll just wait here.”

Tsukki claps both hands over his mouth, closing his eyes and stifling a scream. He bucks his hips, turning as far as he can in Kuroo’s grip but to no avail. There are tears on his lashes. He doesn’t want to break first but he can’t- he needs to come so badly. 

“Please,” he whimpers behind his hands. 

Kuroo, that bastard, ignores him. 

Tsukki’s going to kill him.

… As soon as he’s come his brains out. 

“Fuck, Tetsu-  _ please _ \- let-” he groans into his hands when his voice cracks, “p-please let me- c-come,”

“Hmm? What was that? You’re muffling your-”

Tsukki thrashes again and screams, “ _ FUCK _ ,” before letting his hands drop. He can see his dick starting to get purple at the tip, but he feels like if he doesn’t come soon he might  _ die _ . He lurches up, chest heaving, grabbing at Kuroo’s shoulders and giving him the best glare he can manage.    
  
“Let me  _ come _ you  _ asshole,” _ he grinds out, cheeks burning bright red.

Kuroo grins wide, put together, even though the sight below him is driving him absolutely  _ wild.  _ Keeping pressure on his perineum, he releases his hold on the blond's cock. He twists his hand up Tsukki's shaft once, twice… 

Tsukki’s orgasm thunders through him. He feels like it’s tearing him apart and he screams, clinging to Kuroo for dear life. He lets out a sob as Kuroo strokes him through it, tears falling down his cheeks slowly.

“F-fuck - Testu,” he gasps, clawing into the older man’s back desperately. His stomach and chest are covered in his own come when he finally stops feeling like he’s in a million pieces and he whines, groping for Kuroo’s hand desperately, too oversensitive. 

He lets himself fall back, gasping for breath.

Kuroo prowls up Tsukki's body, letting his teeth and tongue fall wherever, even through the paths of come along the man's chest.  He winds his fingers through Tsukki's hair and kisses him.

"Kei, so sexy….” he says, allowing the arousal he's been hiding to show. 

Tsukki thinks that he tries to make a face at the sight of Kuroo licking at his come, but he can’t be sure. He closes his eyes as Kuroo kisses him, kissing him back, albeit without the same energy. 

“You’re - a fucking -  _ bastard _ ,” he says between heaving breaths. His voice doesn’t have the same bite to it, and his gentle fingers over the scratches on Kuroo’s back speak volumes. 

“Yes I am,” Kuroo moans against his lips, “but you literally asked for it so who's the real bastard here? I aim to please…”

He shudders against Tsukki's fingertips and accidentally grinds his cock against Tsukki. 

Tsukki can’t really argue with that, so all he does to respond is bite Kuroo’s lip, earning a soft hiss. He jumps when he feels Kuroo’s erection, staring down at it in amazement. “S-seriously?” he asks. He’s never been that hard again that fast…

Kuroo just hums and bites Tsukki's lip back. He trails his fingertips across Tsukki's chest, and moves to kiss his neck.

Tsukki shivers, putting his hands on Kuroo’s hips. He scratches there, lightly, and moves his head to give Kuroo better access. He feels a little like he’s floating. “Do you plan to do anything about that?” he asks, his voice light. He feels warm and sated and comfortable under Kuroo’s weight.

“Not so much planning as considering,” Kuroo muses against Tsukki's neck. He reaches down and strokes his own cock, his hips twitching gently into it, "Is it okay if I do this?” 

“Y-yeah,” Tsukki says, watching Kuroo stroke himself. His own cock twitches valiantly, but there’s no way he’s going to be able to recover right now. He tucks his chin down to get Kuroo’s attention, kissing him soft and slow while one of his hands trails up and into Kuroo’s hair. “Sorry about the scratches,” he says against his lips. It’s strange but he feels relaxed, all of the pent up anxiety and frustration gone.

Kuroo moans, “ _ Please _ don't apologize for those,” his pace quickens for a moment as he recalls how those scratches came to be. He forces himself to slow down, spreading precum along the head and slowly fucking into his fist. He looks down between them, to admire Tsukki's relaxed and defined body. 

Tsukki snorts and lets his hands roam, enjoying feeling Kuroo’s muscles move under his fingers. He watches Kuroo watching him with a small, sincere, smile on his lips. One of his hands drifts to Kuroo’s cock, fingers brushing against the head when Kuroo thrusts into his hand. It’s pretty incredible to watch if he’s honest with himself.

Kuroo has some snarky quip in the chamber but it's erased by Tsukki's genuine attention. His eyes, the hand on his body, the hand on his cock… this Tsukki feels  _ different _ , and he makes Kuroos skin feel hot and his chest burn, somehow even harder than he does when he's being tense and difficult. Kuroo is short of breath when he moans each time Tsukki touches his cock. 

Kuroo’s moan lands warm in Tsukki’s belly, but it’s not exactly arousal. He’s happy to be slow and fuzzy. Tsukki lets his hand hover, barely touching, as he presses kisses into Kuroo’s shoulder. Kuroo melts into him despite the tension building in those shoulders. 

After a few moments he wraps his fingers around the head of Kuroo’s cock, meeting his strokes in the middle. 

“This alright?” he asks quietly. He knows it is, but he wants to hear Kuroo say it.

“More than alright,” Kuroo gasps softly, “Feels so good, Kei…” he presses his forehead to Tsukki's shoulder as he quickens his pace slightly. “Fuck, those  _ hands... _ ”

An idea strikes Tsukki, and he chuckles, bringing his free hand up to look at it. "I really don’t understand the fascination,” he muses, turning his hand over to get a good look at it. 

Kuroo is quick to praise Tsukki, “I told you last time; power, dexterity, and endu-”

Tsukki rolls his eyes and sticks two of his fingers into his own mouth, looking at Kuroo with half-lidded eyes. He lets his mouth open just a little so that, he hopes, Kuroo can see his tongue working around his fingers. He makes a considering noise, looking for all the world like he’s trying to understand where Kuroo is coming from.

Kuroos freezes, mouth open and watering with his tongue involuntarily moving. A burning sensation works from his hips to his ears. He's transfixed by Tsukki's tongue and fingers, so much so that he doesn't even notice how much of a smart ass he's being until several moments later. 

“Here,” Kuroo breathes as he puts his weight on his elbow, freeing the hand that was in Tsukki's hair to move to his mouth. Tsukki obliges with a satisfied smirk, and Kurro replaces Tsukki's hand with his own, letting him work his mouth and tongue around those digits. The sensation is enough to make him grip his own cock tighter. 

Tsukki just watches Kuroo knowingly as he sucks his fingers, first hard before easing back and letting his tongue glide around them. He hums around Kuroo’s fingers, fluttering his lashes on a particularly hard suck. 

He’s definitely more awake now, less fuzzy, and his dick starts to fill against his leg. He uses his free hand to hold Kuroo’s wrist, controlling how his hand moves and using that control to pull back and free his mouth. He presses a teasing kiss against Kuroo’s fingertips before nipping at them. 

“Mmmm,” Tsukki moans, “maybe I'm starting to get it.”

“Feels-” Kuroo pants, “f-feels good…” He's barely keeping his eyes open to look at this beautiful display. "I-inside you…”

Seeing Kuroo like this sends a thrill through Tsukki and he smirks, licking at his fingers before sucking them back into his mouth. He makes sure to moan around them, copying a couple of things he’d see during his research.  Kuroo looks borderline offended by how obscene Tsukki is being. Which, given his status as immovable master of provocation is quite a feat.   _ Where did this come from?!  _ Half of him thinks, while the other half high fives himself and says  _ called it _ .  

Tsukki’s grip on Kuroo’s dick gets gentler, more teasing, and he’s surprised at how suddenly he realizes he wants Kuroo in his mouth. With that revelation, he takes his hand away completely, pulls Kuroo’s hand away from his mouth, and, before he can think about it, licks at Kuroo’s precum on his fingers, all the time watching Kuroo’s face.

Kurro’s breath catches when he notices the sheen of his own precum on Tsukki's fingers. He begins stroking his cock with more conviction, less lazy than he was before. 

“Kei…” he whines. 

Precum doesn’t taste nearly as bad as Tsukki expected. He continues licking his hand, pretending to ignore Kuroo as he sucks his fingertips, loud and obnoxious. Once his hand is suitably clean he looks at Kuroo. 

“Hmm?” he hums, keeping the smirk off his face by sheer force of will.

That sound shoots straight through Kuroos cock and he strokes harder, allowing his eyes to fall closed. 

“Do you…like that…?” His voice is ragged with effort and lust.

“Do I like what?” Tsukki asks. It takes all of his effort not to wriggle gleefully. In all of his research he’d been thinking about what would feel good, the mechanics of it all, if it would be so stressful every time. He hadn’t really imagined seeing Kuroo so thrown off by  _ him _ .

“Tasting me…” Kuroo gasps, his hand pausing to rub just the tip of his cock, feeling himself leaking precum. 

Tsukki shrugs, making a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat. He reaches down and grabs Kuroo’s hand, making a show of tasting the precum spread on his fiingers. "I’ve tasted worse things,” he simpers.

Kuroo swears under his breath and ruts up against Tsukki, now that his hand is gone. Not that he's complaining; he's revelling in Tsukki's attention. 

“Then maybe you’d like to… try…?” Kuroo moans slowly, cautiously as he can when every hard inch of him aches for Tsukki's mouth. 

Tsukki swallows, tries not to make it obvious - this is what he was asking for, right? - but the butterflies start to flutter in his stomach. He looks at Kuroo’s hand, covered in his spit, and then at Kuroo’s expression.  _ I can do this _ , he thinks, but he’s not going to let Kuroo have him so easily. 

“Try?” he asks, “try what?”

“Sucking my cock.”

Well what the fuck? Kuroo could at least  _ try  _ to act like this isn’t all so easy for him. Tsukki sighs, forcing his lips into a pout like he’d seen in a couple of blogs. 

“That’s very forward,” he says.

Kuroo decides he needs those pouty lips to shut the fuck up and slide up and down his dick. He feels bad for a second, for wanting to see Tsukki flustered and nervous and apprehensively licking his cock before bringing the head into - Kuroo tries to get a handle on himself so he doesn't accidentally face fuck this rookie. 

“F-forward would be - ah - grabbing your hair and shoving you down,” Kuroo retorts, “or telling you to do it. But I - nnngh -  _ asked _ nicely _ … Kei _ … _ ” _

Tsukki’s face flushes at that image but he stays resolute. Kuroo is going to have to ask for it nicely. 

“You didn’t say ‘please’, Tetsurou, that’s not nice.”

Kuroo sees what Tsukki is doing here. But his dick is too hard and his skin is too hot to play that game. He  _ wants _ . 

He looks down into Tsukki's eyes with as much lust as he can summon, and runs his tongue across his lips. His eyes then flash to Tsukki's mouth and back. 

“Kei, please suck my cock?” he groans hungrily. 

If Tsukki wasn’t getting so hot himself, he’d draw this out, make Kuroo wait and beg, but truth be told, he  _ wants _ Kuroo in his mouth, maybe as badly as Kuroo wants to be there.

“Get on your back,” Tsukki orders quietly. 

Kuroo obeys immediately, his mind filling with questions and curiosity about what Tsukki will feel like. He manages to forget this will be Tsukki's first time giving head. Kuroo is far too physically and mentally turned on to think of the other man's inexperience. 

“Now what?” he whispers, arching up slightly. 

Tsukki settles between his legs, licking his lips as he tries to think of how to approach this new challenge. He leans over Kuroo, kissing him to postpone for a moment, just another second. His fingers shake as he wraps them around the base of Kuroo’s cock and he moves down, letting his mouth hover and he breath ghost over the head.

Kuroo tilts his hips up and hisses, “ _ Yes.”  _ his breathing is shallow with anticipation.

Tsukki puts his other hand on Kuroos hips and licks at his head. He starts to stroke him, slowly, as he closes his lips under the head, holding it in his mouth to get used to the feeling.  _ I actually have a dick in my mouth,  _ he thinks, swirling his tongue around the head. 

Kuroo pours his self control into keeping his hips  _ down.  _ He stares at Tsukki lasciviously, sexual tension tainting his usual smooth expression. He runs his hands down his own body sensually, enjoying the feeling but also aiming to turn Tsukki on more.

Tsukki pulls off, moaning as he does so. One hand reaches down to wrap around his own cock, stroking slow enough to give some relief without putting himself in danger of coming. He licks Kuroo’s shaft, starting at the base and then moving up so that he breathe against the tip again. He looks up at Kuroo from under his lashes, giving his base a tight squeeze before sucking his cock back into his mouth, going farther this time. He hums around it, moving his hand up to meet his mouth rather than try to choke himself, like he’d seen recommended in a couple of posts online. 

Kuroo moans soft and long. How the  _ hell _ ?  _ This is good,  _ he thinks,  _ I could give in to this… “Yes _ …just like that… ”

Tsukki moans, his hand moving faster on his own erection. He swirls around the head again, getting lost in the sensations.

He continues for a few minutes, pulling off to take breaths, and while Kuroo looks like he’s enjoying it, Tsukki feels like he’s getting repetitive. He feels self doubt creep up on him. _ Is this really good? _ Or is Kuroo just so turned on that he’s good with  _ anything _ ? Rationally Tsukki knows that’s not a bad thing, but he wants his first blowjob to be  _ good _ . He stops, staring up at Kuroo, trying to remember what to do.

"W _ h-! no-! ”  _ Kuroo whines, tilting his hips up to chase Tsukki's mouth, "Why did you stop?”

Kuroo’s whine shoots heat into Tsukki’s stomach and he moans. He has to close his eyes to think clearly, wracking his brain because, damn it, he  _ watched something about this.  _ The memory hits him like a train a second later and he wants to smack himself because it seems so obvious now. He reaches up, pressing his fingers to Kuroo’s mouth. 

“S-show me- what you want,” he says, he cheeks burning.

Kuroos eyes narrow and his flush deepens. That expression, that voice, makes Kuroo so very weak. 

“Show- you?” he whispers, a little confused in his arousal. What do his fingers have anything to--

His eyes widen suddenly and he opens his mouth, welcoming Tsukki's fingers. He teases the tip of his fingers with his tongue, only to find that Tsukki does the same to his cock. His eyes remain on Tsukki as he drags his tongue across Tsukki’s fingers, and sure enough Tsukki's tongue is broad on the underside of Kuroo’s dick.

He whimpers, loving and  _ hating _ being in control of this.

Kuroo frays from the wave of pleasure that wracks his body. His muscles tense and tremble and he can't  _ handle _ this. A portion of his senses return for the sake of fucking with Tsukki. He pulls his mouth off of Tsukki’s fingers, sucking hard and releasing with a wet pop. 

Tsukki follows suit, although the sound he makes coming off Kuroo’s dick isn’t quite a “pop”, breathing hard over Kuroo’s cock. This is hotter than he imagined it would be. 

“T-tetsu-” Tsukki chokes, stroking his own cock and Kuroo’s in a matching rhythm. He teases the head of Kuroo’s cock, sucking at the slit while tonguing it. He wants Kuroo to come so badly. He wants to hear him break apart. 

"Kei, I can’t, please,” Kuroo whimpers, hips trembling and his control over them crumbling, “Fast a-and h-hard, please,  _ please- _ ”

Tsukki nods, adjusting his grip to make it a little tighter and starts stroking faster, sucking Kuroo back into his mouth with new fervor. He swirls his tongue around the head and bobs shallowly to meet his fingers, using lots of spit to get Kuroo nice and sloppy and wet.

"I- I’m so c-close, Kei, please,  _ Kei, please _ ,” Kuroo whines, inadvertently thrusting up into Tsukki’s mouth, his self-awareness gone and focusing on coming into the blond’s beautiful snarky mouth.

Tsukki pulls off suddenly, he hadn’t expected Kuroo to thrust, and he coughs. His fingers clamp around Kuroo’s base, a reflection of what Kuroo had done to him. 

"A - little warning would be - fucking nice,” he growls. Tsukki’s hand pauses on his own cock.    
  
Kuroo glares down at Tsukki, so close,  _ so close _ , and furious about it.

“How’s this for warning,” Kuroo says darkly, eyes cavernous, grinning ever so slightly, "If you don't  _ let go of my cock _ , I'm going to fuck your mouth until you do.” 

Tsukki stares at him, his ears getting hot as his blush extends to his chest. His hand stays firm but then opens, fingers trembling. 

Kuroo stares down at him, breathing short and ragged, yet somehow his chest heaves with effort. His hips undulate and twitch slowly beneath Tsukki’s hand. He runs his fingers through Tsukki’s hair gently, trying and failing to school his voice into smoothness.

“Con-tinue.” he suggests, power in his voice despite the gasp searing through the words.

Tsukki shivers, pressing his head into Kuroo’s hand. He stares at him as he mouths his way down the shaft, gently, slowly. He’s not going to give in that easily; the temptation to see more of this Kuroo is too great.

Kuroo stifles his hips’ desire to rise into that wet heat. As a compromise, his hand tightens in Tsukki’s hair. All it would take is a few thrusts into Tsukki’s hot, pliable mouth and he’d be coming all over that smug face. 

But he controls himself.

“...Please,” Kuroo snarls, gritting his teeth to maintain control over his body. Only slivers of his tawny eyes remain for how wide his pupils are, open to take in as much of this as possible in his sexual haze. "Kei,  _ please…” _

Tsukki moans as his hand starts to work faster on his own cock. Kuroo’s  _ voice _ , his desperate tone, and his trembling body all combine with Tsukki’s harsh pace. After another minute Tsukki comes, his second orgasm weaker but still enough to leave him breathless.

His fingers claw into Kuroo’s hip before taking hold of his base and guiding the head to tap against his outstretched tongue, then he presses a kiss just under the head. 

“Not too hard…I don’t want- to c-choke,” he admits softly.

That face, those words, so innocent,  _ Tsukki coming _ , has Kuroo convulsing in orgasm, careening over the edge into pure bliss with cries of pleasure tearing from his throat. 

His hand releases from Tsukki’s hair and his head tips back, chest and neck flexing with the effort of moaning, breathing fast and deep after only being able to pull shallow breaths for so long. 

“Shiiit,” Tsukki breathes. Kuroo coming, seemingly just from his words, is something Tsukki will be imagining on his own time for  _ ages _ . He strokes Kuroo through it, once he comes to himself a little, and presses bruising kisses into his hip. 

After several moments, Kuroo’s body becomes slack and his brow is furrowed with powering through Tsukki’s touch. He finally decides it’s too much, and puts gentle pressure on Tsukki’s jaw, guiding Tsukki’s mouth to his.

Tsukki settles on top of him, slotting their legs together while still avoiding their over sensitive cocks. Their kiss is soft and open as they melt together.

“Hold on,” Kuroo says, pausing their kiss, “you have a little-” and he gently licks his own come off of Tsukki’s cheek.

“Oh- that’s...kind of gross,” Tsukki says, wiping his cheek where Kuroo had licked him. "Is it anywhere else,” he asks.

"Well there’s yours all over you and mine all over me,” Kuroo says, voice bubbly and a little mischievous, “How very  _ unhygienic, _ ” he mocks. Then his expression and voice softens and he kisses Tsukki’s cheek softly. “Shower?”

Tsukki glares, but it falls flat given the small smile on his face. He stretches, feels the air again this back, and starts to feel exposed. He tucks his face into Kuroo's shoulder, trying to will himself to stay relaxed. 

“In a second,” he murmurs. He has a feeling that as soon as he gets up the spell will be broken.

Kuroo wraps his arms around Tsukki, hold him close and rubbing small circles into his shoulderblades. 

Post-orgasm Tsukki might be his favorite, which is  _ dangerous.  _ He could easily imagine a future filled with making this wound-up, distant man shatter around him over and over. Electricity prickles across his skin thinking about it, the sensations of the past few hours rising to the surface.

“That was incredible,” Kurro whispers, "Where did you even learn that? And in what, two weeks?!”

Tsukki stiffens a little, shrugging his shoulders. "I- just watched a lot of different stuff,” he says.  Suddenly, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. They’re just kind of resting on either side of Kuroo’s shoulders on the bed, flopped and unappealing. He can feel come drying on his skin and he can’t imagine he looks appealing at all. “the internet is a wonderful thing,” he says, closing his eyes and wishing that he could stay comfortable.

Feeling Tsukki tensing already above him, Kurro runs his hands firmly down the younger man’s back to his hips. He nuzzles into and kisses his shoulder tenderly, over and over. 

“ _ Thank you. _ ” Kuroo breathes, barely audible, against his skin.

Tsukki clenches his fingers. He feels like an idiot. Why is he getting so upset, after such an  _ amazing _ experience. Kuroo’s hands on him feel so  _ nice _ , but here he is, wishing that he wasn’t so exposed. Kuroo’s gratitude sends shivers down his spine and he tucks his chin down, hiding more. 

"I- there’s nothing to thank,” he says, because there  _ isn’t _ . 

Kuroo frowns that orgasmic Tsukki is gone so fast. He pulls a throw blanket on top of them after feeling Tsukki shiver.  Kuroo decides to call him out.

"Already with that?” Kuroo says softly, delicately. Too mournful to be a real call-out. Kuroo idly thinks that he’s losing his edge to this man, and immediately laughs at himself internally for the mere thought.

The blanket is a comfort that lets Tsukki relax a little, but he frowns when Kuroo calls him on his nerves, albeit gently. He wishes this wasn’t such a challenge for him, and envies Kuroo’s ability to be relaxed all the damn time. letting out a sigh, he pushes himself up.

“I guess so,” he mutters, grimacing at how his skin sticks to Kuroo’s in places. He slips out from under the blanket, tempted to take it with him, but leaves it behind. “Shower sounds good,” he says, not looking at Kuroo as he walks quickly to the bathroom.

Kuroo, aware of what his words did to Tsukki, decides he’s not equipped to convince Tsukki of his value if the several hours of incredible sex they just had wasn’t enough. He shakes it off and puts on his usual casual, flirty tone and smirk.

"I hate seeing you leave,” he says, rising from the bed and stretching, “but I  _ love _ watching you go.”  He bounds up to Tsukki and lightly slaps his ass before passing him by to start the hot water.

Tsukki yelps, glaring at Kuroo as he turns the faucet. He glances at himself in the mirror and jumps at the sheer number of marks Kuroo has left on his chest. “Holy shit,” he breathes, glancing down, and - yes - his thighs match. Thankfully he won’t have to worry about his neck, but  _ shit _ , that’s impressive. "Are you a vampire?” he asks, glaring at Kuroo.

"I am not. Banged a guy once who, I swear to god, wanted to be,” Kuroo allows the water to heat up and comes up behind Tsukki, looking at the blond’s reflection with soft eyes that soak it all in. He winds his arms around Tsukki, sliding up his chest to his throat. Tsukki leans his head back onto Kuroo’s shoulder, the sight piercing his anxiety for a beautiful moment.

"I was bruised all through here,” he says, touching Tsukki’s pale neck on both sides with his fingertips. “Real dark painful ones, too. Bokuto was poking my neck and calling me a teenager for a week.”

Kuroo moves his hands so that one presses into Tsukki’s chest and the other holds his hip. He leans up on his tip-toes.

“Besides, if I were a vampire,” he says seductively, making eye contact with Tsukki’s reflection. He trails his tongue up that muscle all the way to where it connects behind Tsukki’s ear, “How could I ever resist sinking my teeth into such a beautiful neck?”

Tsukki shivers at Kuroo’s fingertips. He forces himself to stay still, not to pull away and cover himself under Kuroo’s scrutiny. Kuroo’s tongue makes him close his eyes, letting out a soft moan. Kuroo makes a good point, but the fact that he didn’t because Tsukki asked him not to makes him smile a little. 

“Because you know I'd kill you if you did,” he says, forcing sarcasm into his voice.

Kuroo raises his brows, “Haven’t we established that I'd probably get off on seeing you try?” he says, with the same amount of sarcasm. 

He pauses, raking his gaze down Tsukki’s body obscenely, admiring his work.

“Then again,” he muses softly, "If I were a vampire, there’s a perfectly good artery  _ here- _ ” Kuroo digs his finger into a particularly nasty bruise on the inside of Tsukki’s thigh, “-and your thighs are the same kind of sexy as your neck, so…”

Tsukki  _ doesn’t squeak _ as he jumps away from Kuroo. His cheeks are bright red and he crosses his arms instead of covering his dick. 

“Now you’re being ridiculous,” he says, shoulders stiff. How can Kuroo stand there so  _ shamelessly _ ?

"Aw, don’t be shy about your body,” he says softly. He reaches up and touches Tsukki’s forearms, fingers finding their way into the grooves of the muscles. They lead him to Tsukki’s biceps, which make Kuroo sigh very softly. The muscle definition in Tsukki’s arm is subtle, making him look skinny, but Kuroo can feel the hard sinewy muscle and he can’t help but appreciate the feeling of it beneath his hands.

Tsukki watches Kuroo’s hands, clenching his fingers. "I-I'm not,” he protests, weakly. Kuroo’s fingers feel good on his muscles, but he can’t help the feeling of being hunted. “You’re acting weird, that’s all,” he says softly, his voice lacking conviction.

Kuroo finds himself moderately upset by those words.  _ Oh god,  _ Kuroo thinks,  _ maybe I  _ am  _ losing my edge.  _

He stifles that thought, turns to the shower, and shifts his focus off of Tsukki’s body and onto feeling what it’s like to occupy his own. He closes his eyes for just a few seconds and sighs, listening to the echoes of pleasure he experienced resonate through his body. 

The water is hot on his palm, and he wants it on his shoulders. He steps in and holds the door open for Tsukki.

Tsukki nods, following Kuroo into the shower, but even though Kuroo didn't say so, he feels like he's fucked up. 

There are two showerheads, which is kind of weird, but it’s nice not to have to fight over the water. It feels wonderful against his shoulders. He looks over at Kuroo, and god he wishes he could just be relaxed and wonderful the way he is.

“I'm sorry…” he starts, twisting his hands together and talking just loud enough to be heard over the spray, “That I'm not better at this,” he finishes. He stares at the shower wall in front of him.

“Practice makes better,” Kuroo sighs, the already loose and relaxed way he holds his body deepening beneath the water. He feels a little bad for Tsukki, but allows that feeling to roll off of his thoughts like the rivulets of water rolling down his back. Every damn time he showers with someone else he thanks his past self for the two showerheads thing. 

He tips his head back slightly, weaving his hands through his soaked locks, enjoying the way the change in his posture changes the route of the water to snake along his hips. 

“Don’t worry so much,” he says plainly.

_ Easy for him to say. _ Tsukki steps further beneath the water, letting it hit his muscles. He presses his hands into his eyes, and then presses his fingers into his shoulders, wincing at how tight he feels already. 

He glances over at Kuroo and- god is he ever  _ not _ insanely hot? Tsukki stares at his hair, and without the volume of his ridiculous normal style he looks - Tsukki isn’t sure how to describe it, but he wants to get his fingers in that hair. He wishes he had his glasses on. 

“Shampoo?” he asks, not sure which bottle is which, and he doesn’t really want to bring the bottles up to his face to read them.

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Here.” Kuroo says, handing the bottle to Tsukki. His gaze idles down Tsukki’s form. 

_ Fuck, is he sexy, all lithe and toned with some areas looking more visibly strong than others _ . The tension in Tsukki’s shoulders is obvious, and looks painful. It almost ruins the display. Kurro weighs the options in his mind, whether or not to offer a hand with that, and ultimately decides to leave Tsukki to himself for now. Maybe a minute without banter will help.

_ Maybe you should have showered separately. _

He waits patiently for Tsukki to hand back the shampoo, closing his eyes and allowing the steam to fill his lungs in even breaths.

Tsukki’s not sure if the banter or the quiet makes him more nervous. He hands the shampoo to Kuroo, before spreading the shampoo over his hair. At the least banter means that Kuroo isn’t angry, but that’s not necessarily what the silence means either. He washes the shampoo out of his hair and glances over at Kuroo, admiring how the water rolls over his muscles. 

Tsukki looks at his own hands; he hates that they’re trembling, but before he can think about it, he turns and takes the bottle out of Kuroo’s hands before the other man can get any for himself. Tsukki squirts some onto his hands, puts the bottle on the shelf, and pushes his fingers into Kuroo’s hair, keeping his eyes down.

Kuroo masks his shock effortlessly. After all, it was only a matter of time before Tsukki touched him again, and patience is everything when dealing with the obstinate, bullheaded blond. He was right to dispel any thoughts to the contrary. Noticing Tsukki is refusing to look at him anyways, he closes his eyes and exhales deeply, giving himself up to the sensation of the other man’s hands in his hair.

Tsukki makes his fingers work efficiently without being sterile. He guides Kuroo back to rinse, brushing his hair back out of his face. 

“You know, you actually look halfway normal without your hair sticking up,” Tsukki says, feeling a little better when his voice doesn’t shake. He lets his hands trail down to interlock behind Kuroo’s neck.   
  
“Mm, thanks,” Kuroo moans, tilting into the stream. He flits his fingers through his hair, separating the strands so that- “Hey wait! what do you mean  _ halfway? _ ” he pouts, tilting his head back up to look at Tsukki. 

Tsukki smirks, "Well you usually have some sort of weird expression on your face,” he says. “So maybe when you make your face look normal  _ and _ your hair, we’ll have something.”

Kuroo squirts shower gel into one hand, then puts the bottle on the shelf. He spreads it between his fingers and slides them across Tsukki’s shoulders, up his neck, across his arms that are extended to Kuroo’s neck.

“You know, I have a policy about  _ haters _ being allowed in my shower,” Kuroo says smoothly, “You’re lucky you’re so good in bed.”

Tsukki can’t stop the moan that slips out when Kuroo rubs over his shoulders. His face is red as Kuroo compliments his skills. He slips his fingers into the short hairs at the back of Kuroo’s head, scratching a little. 

“Not hating. Pointing out the obvious,” he snarks.

Kuroo, satisfied enough that Tsukki seems to be done spiralling, firmly presses his hands into Tsukki's skin, the soap acting as lube to slide down his back, bringing their slick bodies together. Tsukki hums, Kuroo’s hands feeling amazing against his back. He very boldly slides his hands down Tsukki’s ass and  _ grabs _ .

"What does that say about your taste in men, hm?” he counters.

Tsukki stumbles forward with a surprised sound, grabbing onto Kuroo’s shoulders. "Ah- I'm apparently desperate,” he says, reaching and pulling Kuroo’s hair as revenge.

"Well, since you’re only having sex with me out of  _ desperation _ ” Kuroo says, letting to of Tsukki and taking a step back, “You won’t mind if there isn’t a next time,” he slides his soapy hands from his neck, down his chest, to his hips. “Because, you know,” he says, using two hands to spread the lather over his own delicious, thick, muscular thigh, "I do have standards,” he moves to the other thigh, "And I don’t make myself available for those to whom I'm just a last resort _. _ ”

_ Fuck, well _ , Tsukki had backed himself into that one. He knows that Kuroo isn’t  _ really _ angry, given the way he’s touching himself (no one washes that way in private, not ever). If he were, he would have just left, or told Tsukki to leave… but the threat of not being able to sleep with him again does something to his gut. 

He watches as Kuroo lathers himself, and damn if that doesn’t make his dick try to become interested. He steps forward, reaching out and resting his hands on Kuroo’s chest. 

“I'm sorry,” he says, and it rings mostly sincere. "I’d like it - very much - if there was a next time.”

Kuroo’s chest burns where Tsukki’s hands rest, despite the flow of water on his skin. He tilts Tsukki’s head up into a slow, passionate kiss.

"I dunno,” he says against Tsukki’s lips, “You’re gonna have to convince me you’re attracted to me. You’ve got me doubting...”

Tsukki wraps his arms around Kuroo’s neck, rolling his eyes and kissing him again rather than saying anything. He’s more than happy to stay under the water kissing for a while. He nips at Kuroo’s lip as he pulls away and lets one of his legs slot between Kuroo’s, a silent offering.

Kuroo’s eyes widen, brows high.  _ How!? _ He rolls his hips forward onto Tsukki's thigh, and then disengages. 

"Kei, we came  _ twice _ ,” Kuroo nearly moans, “There’s no way tonight…”

Tsukki pulls his head back and rests his forehead against Kuroo’s shoulder. 

“Oh, thank fuck,” he sighs, he shoulders shaking with laughter.

Tsukki laughing is infectious, and Kuroo joins him. It’s surprising just how comfortable Kuroo is around this blond mass of nerves.

"Are- are you done?” Kuroo asks, gasping for breath through his laughter with his hand on the shower knob. Tsukki nods and Kurro turns off the water. He hands Tsukki a towel and they both start to dry off. Kuroo turns to Tsukki, rubbing his towel through his hair.

"I like you like this, you know.” he says softly, looking at the floor, "When you loosen up for me.”

Tsukki flushes, looking down at his hands. He can feel the creep of anxiety now that he’s out of the shower. It’s not just Kuroo - he hates when he hears Tadashi come home if he’s just finished showering. It just feels so vulnerable. He quickly dries his hair and wraps his towel around his hips. 

"I like it too,” he admits, shy. “Being - loose,” he says with a wave of his hand. His other hand grips his towel tightly, and he gestures towards the living room. “I'm going to get dressed,” he says, walking out slowly and glancing back at Kuroo before he leaves the bathroom.

_ He just looked back at me, _ Kuroo thinks,  _ that’s a first.  _

Maybe he really is going to be able to unwind the high-strung mess of tension that is Tsukishima Kei. He yawns and stretches wide, flops nude onto the bed and crams a pillow on either side of his face.

Tsukki can hear Kuroo settle on the bed, and he holds his pants, unsure of what to do. He’s already in his underwear and a shirt, so it would be easy for him to go slip in next to Kuroo, but what if this isn’t that kind of a hookup? He slept over last time, but Kuroo hadn’t said anything about it this time. He hadn’t said anything about his bag earlier, but- but- Tsukki sighs, going to the bedroom door, his pants still clasped in his hands.

"Am I leaving, or-” he lets his voice trail off.

Kuroo rolls over, very naked, so very naked it makes Tsukki blush a little. 

“Do you  _ want _ to? I mean, I'd like for you to stay but if you can’t, I understand,” Kuroo says, one hand idly running his thumb over his hip. He yawns again, "I suddenly got really tired, figured I'd wait for you here.”

Tsukki twists his pants in his hands. Would it be needy for him to say that he does want to stay? He’s surprised by how much he  _ wants _ to stay, to wake up tomorrow with Kuroo against his back, but is that what this is? Are they the kind of -  _ friends with benefits? _ \- that stay over? 

He thinks about it for another second before nodding to himself. He comes over to the bed and drops his pants on the floor, sliding in next to Kuroo. It takes him an extra second, but he grabs the blanket and pulls it over them, settling his head on Kuroo’s chest and draping an arm over him, his hand resting above his hip.

“Goodnight,” he says quietly, and closes his eyes, forcing slow, deep breaths.

Kuroo puts his hand on Tsukki’s forearm, squeezing once reassuringly. His other arm wraps around Tsukki’s body and he slides his hand just under the waistband of his boxers. He smiles that he didn’t have to put up a fight to get Tsukki to stay or to cuddle. He kisses the top of Tsukki’s head. 

“Goodnight, Kei.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is written, in beta, is a 23k behemoth, but includes ängst and queerplatonic kuroken and queerplatonic tsukiyama so stay tuned for the feels. 
> 
>  
> 
> ... And also sin. 
> 
> Thank you so much!


	3. July

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want you to…finger me,” Tsukki says quietly, cheeks bright red and eyes on the bar.
> 
> “How reprehensible of you, Tetsu-chan,” the man down the bar says, scandalized, “dirty talking your customers right out here in the open?”
> 
>  
> 
> \- or - 
> 
>  
> 
> Kuroo and Tsukki's First Big Misunderstanding And How Their QP Babes Helped Make Everything Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this is he11ebore's favorite chapter, please enjoy!)

Tsukki hasn’t necessarily been on edge all night, but he is on his third whiskey and soda. He usually stops at two, but he’s on a damn mission tonight. He watches Kuroo behind the bar, and damn if he’s not determined. All that’s left is himself, Kuroo, Bokuto, and that other glasses guy, the one with the nice hair but shitty, better-than-you attitude.

Kuroo comes over to Tsukki, his expression amused as he raises his eyebrows at Tsukki’s empty glass.

“Bad day?” He asks with a smirk, and Tsukki shakes his head.

“No...” He starts, cracking his knuckles nervously. He glances a few seats down where Bokuto is talking to asshole glasses and then back at Kuroo.

“I want you to…finger me,” he says quietly, cheeks bright red and eyes on the bar.

“How _reprehensible_ of you, Tetsu-chan,” the man down the bar says, scandalized, “dirty talking your customers right out here in the open?”

Bokuto just stares wide-eyed at the man, and then to Kuroo, who hasn’t even fully registered what Tsukki just said to him.

“It’s very _unbecoming_ to eavesdrop, Oikawa,” Kuroo purrs, diverting his attention from Tsukki to shoot the man a polite smile.

Tsukki chokes, but puts on his most charming smile. His hands are shaking and he presses them harder against the bar to keep from being obvious. He said it so quiet, he whispered, he barely breathed the request, _how did Oikawa hear me say that?_

_Tetsu-chan_ rings through his ears.

“It’s alright, Kuroo. I would expect nothing less from someone who obviously craves attention so desperately,” Tsukki says apologetically, bowing slightly towards Oikawa. He widens his saccharine smile. “I'm sorry that I'm such a distraction, maybe I should go so that you don’t have to compete.”

Kuroo is stunned. He thought for sure that Tsukki would bail from that. Then again, the Tsukki that Kuroo knows in bed is different than the Tsukki here. He wonders if anyone else gets to see the blond vulnerable and feeling, even if those feelings are anxious and troublesome…

“That won’t be necessary. You’re hardly even a player,” Oikawa retorts smoothly, looking at Tsukki over his frames and taking a sip of his gin and tonic.

Tsukki’s smile doesn’t falter. “Such obvious jealousy is quite _indecorous_ , Oikawa _-san_.”

Bokuto’s jaw drops, and Kuroo’s eyebrows rise, his mouth forming a small ‘o’. Oikawa puts down his drink, stares Tsukki down. He tilts his chin up to look down the bridge of his nose, squinting at the blond, who just has this _delightful_ little smile Oikawa would _love_ to slap off of his face.

Oikawa sighs, as if bored. Kuroo’s told him quite a bit about Tsukki, but he failed to mention all of those sharp points. Oikawa can see plain as day they’re born of frailty, but he cares more about his friend getting laid than he does crushing such an obvious weakling into the ground.

“Get him another drink, Tetsu-chan~” he coos to Kuroo, “on me.”

_Tetsu-chan_. _Just who does this guy think he is?_ Tsukki turns back to the bar and sighs. He feels like he’s on fire. “Whiskey soda then,” and after a second, tacks on, “Top shelf. Thank you for your generosity, Oikawa-san.” God maybe he should have just _left_ because now he’s stuck here drinking when he could be hiding in his room.

But he likes seeing Oikawa’s smug face taken down a notch.

The look in Tsukki’s eyes is destroying Kuroo. The look in Oikawa’s eyes is _destroying_ Kuroo. He glances at Bokuto, who is on the sideline with knowing, raised brows.

“All we need is Akaashi and the gang’s all here!” Bokuto says to Kuroo, hoping to lighten the mood.

Kuroo sets the bottle he was pouring on the counter, pointedly, loud. He glares at his best bro while he sets Tsukki’s drink down.

Tsukki drinks his whiskey quicker than he probably should, especially considering that he’s already had three, but he needs the liquid courage in the face of his panic. He smiles tightly at Bokuto, thinking _idiot_ , _this smug asshole isn’t part of our ‘gang’_.

He then turns that smile on Kuroo. Cat’s out of the bag now, so there’s no harm in him saying, “didn’t you say something about having _standards_ when we were in the shower?” He asks Kuroo pointedly, the whiskey warm and angry in his chest.

“No haters allowed in your shower,” Oikawa says wistfully, “and no pants in bed.” The dreamy tone drops from his voice and he locks eyes with Kuroo, “seems like those are the only two standards left, hm?”

Kuroo’s eyes are knives and fire at Oikawa, despite his hooded gaze and the easy lilt of his mouth.

Bokuto can see that easy lilt slipping, see Kuroo’s gritted teeth behind those smug lips. He puts his hands up and takes a step forward.

“Guys, come on, it’s late and we-”

Tsukki pushes the stool back from the bar, the legs shrieking against the floor, and reaches for his wallet with shaking hands. He throws bills down blindly and grabs his bag, managing a forced “thanks for the drink,” which does nothing to hide how obviously shaken he is. He thanks whatever higher power is listening that he wasn’t playing at the bar tonight so that he doesn’t have to lug his cello case.

Obviously he knows that Kuroo sleeps around, you’d have to be _deaf and blind_ not to know, but having it shoved in his face by _that asshole_ leaves him feeling more gutted than he’s comfortable with. He pushes his way out the door, heart pounding and face burning because he _knows_ that Oikawa is fucking _satisfied_ right now.

“Shit,” Kuroo hisses, hurriedly removing his apron and tossing it to Bokuto. He retrieves his messenger bag from a cabinet under the bar while addressing Oikawa. “Without Iwaizumi here, you really don’t know when to fucking quit, do you?” He heads for the exit.

Oikawa is stunned, “I - I didn’t know!” He defends, “He kept up with me before, I thought he could-”

“KEI!” Kuroo booms, as he runs out through the open door.

Bokuto’s eyes are wide and his brows are high. _Kuroo always calls him Tsukki._ He turns to Oikawa, grinning coyly.

“Yo, I think you fucked up.”

Oikawa glares at him.

“You don’t have room to talk. If glasses guy weren’t so dense, ‘ _all we need is Akaashi_ ’ would have tipped him off first.”

They both take a breath and take a long sip of a drink.  

Bokuto is the next to speak. “I’m surprised Kuroo didn’t tell him;” he says, “he’s usually so up front about that kind of thing.”

Oikawa looks as if he’s weighing the words in his mouth. “Honestly, I can see why he didn’t this time.” He says shortly.

Each of them sling back the last of their liquor, trying to comprehend what that inky-haired bastard is even _doing_ in bed with someone so high-strung.

Then, slight blush crosses their cheeks, imagining _what_ that inky-haired bastard is doing _in bed_ with that high-strung someone.

They make eye contact, pupils slightly dilated, and Bokuto says something about closing up as Oikawa says something about going to see Iwa-chan.

 

* * *

 

Tsukki isn’t sure if he’s going to make it home, and the last thing he wants to do is fucking break down like a fucking child. He jumps when he hears Kuroo call his name and sends a guarded glance over his shoulder. Seeing the other man running towards him, he starts walking faster.

“Go back to the fucking bar, Kuroo,” he yells, sticking his hands in his pockets and hoping that they’ll stop trembling so much. He feels blindsided and kind of sick if he’s honest with himself. God, he had been so stupid to bring up _that_ at the bar of all places. He was stupid to even stop in.

“Kei, _wait,_ ” Kuroo says, catching up to Tsukki. He walks next to him, just one step ahead, and tries to get a look at his face. “Don’t-”

Tsukki stops, steps around Kuroo in a swift movement, and keeps walking, faster this time.

“Don’t you _dare_ fucking call me that,” he snaps, all the while looking at the ground. God he wishes he had his headphones.

“Don’t _fucking_ run from me!” Kuroo snaps back, a crack forming in his perpetually smooth exterior. He feels unlike himself as he grabs Tsukki’s wrist and pulls him close, “Will you _listen_ to what I have to say instead of running away for once?!”

Tsukki twists his hand, yanking against Kuroo’s grip..

“No! Fuck you! I'm not fucking _running_ from _you_ ,” he snaps. He refuses to look up, worried that he’s going to do some ridiculous, like cry. Tsukki feels like he’s being shocked where Kuroo is holding him, and he just wants to go _home_ and lick his wounds. Why can’t Kuroo just let this _go_? “Go back and get your kicks with that asshole,” he says, voice dangerously close to breaking.

“I don’t want him right now, I want _you_ ,” Kuroo says, and he’s not sure whose voice is coming from his own throat. His grip on Tsukki’s arm is unyielding. “Stop being petulant and _talk to me_!”

Tsukki growls, pushing against him. He doesn’t want Kuroo to see him like this, weak and unable to handle what’s happening.  “Well, that’s your problem,” he hisses. Fuck this, fuck him, god fuck Tsukki for thinking he could just saunter in and try to be confident with this shit. “Let me _go_ Kuroo, I want to go home,” he says, his voice desperate, “I-I can’t _do this_ right now.”

Kuroo’s face falls flat. He releases his hold on Tsukki. _What am I doing?_ he thinks. He forces himself to turn on his heel and walk in the opposite direction, even though his apartment is the other way.

Tsukki watches him go, a lump in his throat. They live in the same general direction, and he’d brought his bag, so why was he walking the other way? He wants to call out, to ask him to stop, but the words catch in his throat. It takes him a second to stop looking and start walking back, his hands clenched and cold with anxiety.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo feels his shoulders tighten and breathes deep, begging them to loosen. He doesn’t stop or look back. He rounds the corner, slumping against the wall. He reaches into his bag for two things: his phone, and a small cigarette case containing a solitary half-smoked clove and a lighter. He keeps it in his bag for emergencies like this one. He lights it, puts it to his lips, and takes a drag, allowing the smoke to fill his lungs and make his brain tingle.

Once he’s breathed deep and fallen back into himself, he holds the cigarette in his mouth a little shakily so he can open the messaging app in his phone. _I hope he’s awake._

**Kuroo** : hey. can I spend the night with you?

**Kenma** : _sure. Something happen?_

**Kuroo** : you could say that.

**Kenma** : _is it about a boy?_

**Kuroo** : that too

**Kenma** : _you have a key. i'm in bed._

Kuroo exhales, his muscles loosening slightly at this guarantee. He takes a drag of his cigarette and breathes out tension with the smoke. His phone pings in his hand.

**Kenma** : _put out your cigarette and get over here_

Shaking his head with a soft smile, he puts it out against the wall, placing the small bit left into his cigarette case.

The silence on the walk to Kenma’s is a double-edged sword.

 

* * *

 

Tsukki unlocks the door to the apartment as quietly as he can, not sure if Yamaguchi is asleep yet or not. He drags his wallet out of his pocket, sets his keys in the little bowl next to the door and goes to the kitchen. The apartment is dark - Yamaguchi is asleep then - and he flicks on the light over the sink, grabbing a glass to get water. He feels like he has ants crawling under his skin.

After a couple of minutes staring at his half-finished water and taking deep breaths, he lets out a shaky sigh and goes to Yamaguchi’s door. He can hear Yamaguchi’s soft snores on the other side of the door and he takes a deep breath, knocking as hard as he dares and half hoping the other man doesn’t wake up.

A long groan comes from the other side of the door, followed by a muffled and groggy “Come in.” Tsukki opens the door to find Yamaguchi sticking up out of a messy nest of pillows and blankets.

“What’s wrong, Tsukki?” he says, rubbing his eyes and glancing at the clock, “I thought you were staying over at Kuroo’s?”

Tsukki shrugs and shakes his head.

“Ah - n-o...I think I fucked that one up,” he croaks after a second, his voice weak.

He comes over to the bed, making space for himself on the side of it that Yamaguchi isn’t taking up. There’s no hesitation here, not with Yamaguchi. He pulls one of the blankets over himself, curling up on his side, so that his head pokes out enough that Yamaguchi can see him.

It’s not uncharacteristic for them to sleep in the same bed, but it takes a whole hell of a lot for Tsukki to wake Yamaguchi up in the middle of the night. “Aww, Tsukki, what happened?” He coos, moving closer to the blond and touching his hair gently.

Tsukki shakes, finally letting his anxiety wash over him. His entire body trembles and a few tears escape him.

“I-I walked away,” he says "I was going - I asked him if he would- and fucking-” he stops and chokes out a sob, covering his face “that a-asshole _Oikawa_ fucking he - heard and just-” he can’t finish, breaking into quiet sobs.

“Wait, like Oikawa from the flower shop?” Yamaguchi asks, “He’s always nice on the surface but I get that vibe that he’s mean on the inside. Why was it any of his business? Did you shoot him down?”

Tsukki shakes his head, “I-I shouldn’t h-have said any- thing,” he sobs. “And- I feel so- s-stupid.” He wriggles himself closer to Yamaguchi, grabbing onto his shirt with shaking fingers. Yamaguchi puts a gentle hand on his back and rubs across his shoulders while Tsukki cries.

“It’s okay, you’re safe, it’s alright,” he whispers reassuringly, letting Tsukki cry it out. “Get some rest, okay? We’ll talk over breakfast.”

Tsukki nods, and Yamaguchi leans them both back onto the bed, pulling over the covers. He holds the blond’s head to his chest, one arm around his shoulders and the other firmly on his head.  Tsukki’s breathing levels with Yamaguchi’s, and they sleep.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo slides the key to Kenma’s apartment into the lock, entering loud enough to make his entry known but not so loud to disturb the neighbors. It’s late, and he wonders if he woke Kenma.

He immediately takes his work clothes off, pulling down a set of pajamas he keeps in the hall closet. He opts to only don the pants, leaving his chest bare. He goes puts on the hot water kettle and pulls down two mugs. While it heats, he walks into Kenma’s room. The desk lamp is on and his 3DS is in his hands.

“Hey, Kitten,” Kuroo says softly, leaning against the doorway.

Kenma doesn’t look up from his game for more than a second.

“What happened?” He asks, figuring that it’s best to just cut to the chase. Kuroo doesn’t look visibly affected, but if nothing was wrong he wouldn’t have come over so late in the first place.

Kuroo tells him the whole story, about Oikawa, about the banter, about how attracted he was to Tsukki for keeping up, until he wasn’t able to push back into Oikawa and ran. How he chased him, how he seemed to do so automatically, without realizing it.

“Tooru was being an ass, but that’s to be expected,” Kuroo muses, “I should have told Tsukki about him.”

“You mean you didn’t?” Kenma says, still staring at his game.

Kuroo shakes his head. “He’s all nerves and gay panic. If I told him I had one regular partner, let alone three, he would have freaked out and never slept with me in the first place.”

Kenma looks up for a second, thinking about it, before shrugging.

“Maybe not,” he says quietly. “He probably knows you aren’t…” he trails off trying to think of the right word for whatever Kuroo is doing with Tsukishima, “Just with him. He’s not stupid.” He doesn’t mention that everyone in town knows that Kuroo is a huge slut.

“He’s not. And he does know I'm not just with him. But something told me he’d react differently to the abstract than to me having steady partners aside from him,” Kuroo says, feeling his thoughts threading back together in Kenma’s presence. He sighs, thumping his head against the doorframe, “And it looks like I was right.”

Kenma hums, but doesn’t say anything for a few minutes.

“Maybe,” he says after he finishes his boss fight, “but I think anyone would be...thrown off at finding out like that.”

In the kitchen the kettle starts to whistle and Kenma gets up, stretching briefly before leaving his room to finish making tea. He’s going to be up now anyway, so he might as well be useful.

“Usually something like this wouldn’t bother you though,” he points out as he pours the water.

Kuroo pulls down two bags of lavender chamomile tea from the cupboard, feeling secure being close to Kenma. He puts them into each of their cups.

“I know. I’d usually just say, ‘this isn’t going to work’ and go on to the next one. I don’t know why this is different.” He tugs on the string of his tea absent-mindedly.

“Maybe you care more about him than you think,” Kenma muses, fiddling with the string of his teabag. “Maybe you feel guilty for how you handled it. You haven’t come over like this in a while,” Kenma says, giving Kuroo a look like he can see right through him.

Which, of course, _he can._

Kuroo feels hollow and full at the same time. It’s not that he and Kenma rarely see each other; rather that this is an uncharacteristic hour of need for Kuroo, who is able to keep a handle on himself flawlessly ninety percent of the time. Kenma holds him up that last ten percent. Almost evading Kenma’s gaze, he takes his tea and sits on the couch, tight and in his own space.

Kenma slinks into his lap like a cat.

Kuroo is awash in feelings. Mostly for Kenma, this man he loves so deeply, for whom he falls apart for without the want or need for sex, in a way that so few people understand. But also, the temporary agony of having to navigate and process _why_ he cares about Tsukishima. What it could mean, what it looks like.

What Tsukki could imagine it as, what he could begin expecting of Kuroo.

The soft fabric of Kenma’s sleep-shirt against Kuroo’s bare chest grounds him, makes his thoughts come easier. He gently rests his lips at the crown of Kenma’s head.

Kenma leans further into Kuroo’s chest, sighing deeply. Part of him can relate to Kei; Kuroo’s constant self-confidence can be intimidating. It used to scare Kenma when they were little, how he was always bothered by people when Kuroo just wasn’t, but he also feels stronger around Kuroo. He knows that Kuroo has his back, always, but Kei - who doesn’t seem to trust easily and who doesn’t know Kuroo as well - doesn’t know that.

“He probably doesn’t understand your specific brand of caring,” Kenma says, taking a sip of his tea slowly. “You surround yourself with irreverent people, and Kei seems to take himself very seriously. That’s not easy to face.”

“That irreverent crowd isn’t something I forced on him, or anything,” Kuroo says, “he’s not a stranger, he’s a friend. He’s stiff and straight-laced but he still hangs out with us. I think that’s what made him so attractive to me.”

Kenma already knows the story of how Kuroo kicked down Tsukki’s closet door.

“It’s like you said, there’s a difference between the abstract and having that shoved directly in your face,” Kenma sighs. “He hangs out, but does he ever get right in the middle of it all?”

Kuroo is quiet, resting his cheek on the top of Kenma’s head, breathing him in. He suddenly looks down to Kenma’s face.

“What specific brand of caring?” He asks.

Kenma ducks his head, just a little, and shrugs. “Maybe it’s not _your_ specific brand of caring, but - you can manage to care very deeply for many people at once. I can’t do that, and I get the feeling that Kei can’t either. It probably scares him. In this case, it probably took a lot for him to tell you...what he wants. And when Tooru ripped the control right out of his hands, it verified all of his fears about what it means to open up to you.” He says quietly, looking away.

If Kuroo had a dollar for every time his chest tightened up and burned like acid because of the way his own emotions work, he’d be able to buy Kenma all the games and consoles he deserved for the rest of their lives.

So his feelings are intense, just not in the way everyone else’s seems to be. It’s not even _usually_ a problem. He never feels like there’s a part of him missing until someone _makes_ him feel that way. Which, he supposes, Tsukki hasn’t, not on purpose. _Not in the way Daichi did._

No no, none of that. He takes a large gulp of tea, allowing the warmth to spread and dissolve that acid dripping down his ribs. It only sort of works. He puts the cup on the end table and wraps his arms around Kenma. He buries his face in the smaller man’s shoulder, clutches his shirt.

Kenma puts his own cup on the table behind his couch and hugs Kuroo back. It’s not often that the older man is like this.

“What does it mean to open up to me?” Kuroo’s voice is soft, fragile, completely unlike him to anyone but Kenma.

“It means that whatever you guys are doing is real,” Kenma says quietly. “You’re not just having meaningless sex. It seems pretty obvious, given his reaction, that this is anything but meaningless to Kei” Kenma starts to card his fingers in Kuroo’s ridiculous hair slowly. “Given your reaction, I think you’ve signed up for more than you bargained for. Now you just have to decide if you want to keep going or not.”

Kenma presses a kiss into Kuroo’s hair.

Kuroo’s eyes become misty, Kenma’s touch has a way of giving his body permission to feel. He breathes deep and leans into Kenma’s hand.

“No matter what I need to talk to him and make those negotiations.” He says, resigning himself to Kenma’s insight. _And explain the whole aromantic thing,_ he thinks, filled with dread. “How do I do that when he’s not being a rational adult about _anything_?”

“Maybe imagine being scared about this stuff all the time,” Kenma suggests gently. “Scared people don't act rationally, even if they _want_ to.”

“But I’ve never-” Kuroo starts, and realization washes over him, “been scared about this stuff…” his words are barely audible, “No wonder he thinks I can’t understand him...”

Kenma hums into his hair and tugs softly.

“Ding, ding, ding.”

He lets Kuroo stew in the realization before pulling back enough to look him in the eyes.

“Now, you’re great with me when I'm scared,” he says with a small, fond smile. “You can help Kei not be scared of this, or himself. I'm sure of it.” He pushes Kuroo’s bangs out of his face and kisses his forehead.

Kuroo kisses Kenma’s cheek, a thank-you on his soft, smooth skin. Kuroo feels better, like himself, and can figure out what to do on his own from here.

“Bed?” he asks. Kenma nods, and Kuroo picks him up and carries him to his room.  

Kuroo breathes _I love you_ against Kenma’s cheek just before sleep soundly takes him, his whole body curled up around the petite, impossibly smart man he feels so _lucky_ to share a life with.

 

* * *

 

Tsukki wakes up wrapped in blankets and Yamaguchi's arms. He feels groggy and stiff after sleeping in his clothes. He gets up as gently as possible, not wanting to wake Yamaguchi so early after waking him in the middle of the night. He’s not completely sure what to do with himself until, despite his best efforts, Yamaguchi groans behind him and sits up.

“Shit, sorry for waking you,” Tsukki says quietly.

“It’s alright,” the freckled man replies “Good morning. How are you feeling?” He places a hand gently on Tsukki’s lower back.

Tsukki shrugs. He’s not sure how to describe what he’s feeling. Exhausted, for sure, and sad, but definitely not as pathetic as the night before.

“I'm not crying, at least,” he says with a sad smile. He looks back at the bed, suddenly regretting the decision to get out of it. “Breakfast on the couch? Then maybe we can just veg and not think about the world today?”

Yamaguchi smiles gently, grabbing Tsukki’s shirt. “That sounds nice,” he pauses, “but I’d like to know what happened last night, if that’s okay.”

Tsukki sighs. He should have known Yamaguchi wouldn’t let him avoid this conversation. He sits back on the bed, close enough that he can rest his head on Yamaguchi’s shoulder and close his eyes.

He tells Yamaguchi about getting the nerve to ask Kuroo, Oikawa butting in. He trips up when he tells Yamaguchi that Kuroo was just using lines on him, recycled material from all of his other hookups, and how after that he ran like a coward.

"I just- it’s stupid! It’s not like we’re _dating_ , Tadashi, and I don’t want to be _dating,_ I just...I thought I was more than a plaything,” he admits, his voice quiet and rough.

“Oh, Kei,” Tadashi sighs, leaning his cheek onto Tsukki’s head. “That all sounds awful. I'm sorry…”

He leaves a moment of silence, before slowly asking, “...have you asked him how he feels about you?”

If anyone else had asked that Tsukki would have laughed and given some sarcastic remark, but this is Tadashi. Tsukki shakes his head slowly.

“I'm pretty sure I'm just a- some kind of project,” he says, wishing that it didn’t hurt so much to think so. He pulls his legs up, burying his face in his arms. “It’s not like it matters now, he’s not going to want me for _anything_ after I just walked away on him last night.”

“So… ” Yamaguchi says, thoughtfully, “Has he done anything to you to make you believe that?”

Tsukki shrugs. “No,” he admits slowly. He knows that he’s not being rational, that he’s hardly ever rational when it comes to Kuroo, as much as he wishes that wasn’t the case.

“He chased you out of the bar even though he was working to try to explain. I'm guessing that if you ask him, he'll tell you.” Yamaguchi says softly, taking Tsukki's hand into his own, “and given everything you've said about him he's wanted to know more about you for weeks. That probably includes how you feel about him.”

Tsukki nods, gripping Yamaguchi’s hand. He knows that he needs to talk to Kuroo, but, he thinks he might freak out again if he sees him any time soon.

"I don’t- I don’t know what I feel about him,” he says, “right now I'm just embarrassed and angry, and tired. He makes me feel... _amazing_ , but, I don’t know if I can face him.”

“Let’s have a recovery day. I can call Yachi to take over my daytime appointments, but I can't get out of working tonight.” Yamaguchi squeezes Tsukki’s hand gently. “You’re smarter and stronger than you give yourself credit for, Kei. And if Kuroo doesn't respond like you hope, I’m here to catch you.”

He brings Tsukki’s hand up to place a soft kiss to the back of it before releasing it.

“... And then I’ll have a very forceful conversation with him. Maybe with fisticuffs.”

Tsukki can’t help but laugh at the image that conjures.

“Yeah, okay,” he says. "I think I’ll be okay tonight, I’ll just stay in and practice. Akaashi and I have a gig next week,” he explains. “But, breakfast and vegging on the couch first.”

He stands, pulling Yamaguchi into a fierce hug, which his partner returns with a broad smile.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo wakes up, warm and happy with Kenma curled up in his arms. He breathes deeply letting the oxygen fill him and wake up his tired muscles. He reaches for his phone on the night stand.

_Shit._

He kisses Kenmas forehead and gently unwinds himself from the petite man, going to the hall closet and summoning another change of clothes, a black button up and black jeans.  He rolls up the sleeves and goes for the kitchen, where he pulls out the fixings for oatmeal, all measured out in a line. He also fills the French press with ground beans, all ready for Kenma when he wakes up. He pulls a pen and paper from the drawer.

_Kitten,_   
_Thanks for staying up for me. Eat a good breakfast before starting your new game._   
_Love,_ _  
_ Kuro

He grabs his bag and quietly shuffles out the door to work.

 

* * *

 

Tsukki might be being pathetic...it’s been five days, and he’s only been out of the apartment for work. He hasn’t been to the bar, he hasn’t texted Kuroo. He definitely hasn’t texted Kuroo, because he’s a big fucking baby. He’s supposed to be at the bar right now, getting ready with Akaashi, but he’s wrapped up on the couch texting him.

**Akaashi** : _Are you coming tonight, Tsukishima-kun?_

**Tsukishima** : No sorry, I'm sick

He feels bad lying, but, god Kuroo is definitely working, he usually does, and god forbid he sees Oikawa. Fuck that _no_. Especially since Kuroo hasn’t texted him at all. Not that he has to, not that Tsukki had expected him to, but it would have been nice. A confirmation that Kuroo isn’t done with him. He sighs. Even Yamaguchi had called him pathetic earlier.

After another moment he gets up and forces himself to set up his cello. If he’s not playing his gig he’ll at least fucking practice.

* * *

 

Kuroo walks into the bar. The new bartender, only a little taller than Kenma but with bright orange hair, beams at him.

“Welcome! What can I get for you today?” He chirps.

Kuroo smiles smoothly and takes a seat at the bar.  
  
“Yes, can you please get me an Obnoxious Owl?” says, slightly louder than he needs to.

The young man blinks and tilts his head to the side. “I can try! What’s in it?”

“A certain violinist, some nights” he shouts, directed to the employee’s only doorway. “Oh, and it comes with a side - two shots of tequila on the house, an apology to a best bro.”

The redhead is confused, frozen. Bokuto swoops through the doorway Kuroo was looking at, “Hinata-kun, do we need to throw someone out of the bar already? It’s not even 8pm!”

“Hold the lime and the salt, barkeep” a voice like velvet comes from behind Kuroo, “Kuroo here is both salty and bitter enough without it.”

Kuroo’s eyebrows slowly raise, and Bokuto covers his mouth. He turns the barstool around to see Akaashi’s beautiful stoic face, close. Kuroo maintains eye contact but turns slightly to Hinata.

“And a glass of Malbec for this exquisite creature here.”

Akaashi rolls his eyes and goes to get settled in with his violin. Bokuto helps Hinata get the shots, asks the redhead to watch him ring them up under his own name. He puts them down on the counter in front of Kuroo, who one to Bokuto, arm outstretched.

Bokuto nods and clinks his glass against Kuroo's. They both lean over the bar, Bokuto hooks his arm around Kuroo’s, and they tip the liquor back into their mouths with their arms linked.

_Everything is alright,_ the gesture says.

Hinata comes forth with the wine. Bokuto clears the shot glasses, and Kuroo takes the wine with a smile and a thank you. He turns and crosses the room, approaching Akaashi.

“You can leave that on the table, Kuroo,” Akaashi says, his voice monotonous to onlookers, but the look he gives Kuroo is knowing.

Kuroo can’t help but smile a very small, real smile.

“Yes, _Keiji_.” He says softly, by way of disarming the beautiful violinist.

Akaashi keeps himself composed, but it’s a near thing. He looks down at his violin, doing some final adjustments.

“What can I help you with, _Tetsurou_?” He asks pointedly. “Considering you’re being more obnoxious than usual, I can only assume that it has to do with Tsukishima.”

Kuroo can't help but reel slightly at Akaashi’s distinct blend of ‘brazen’ and ‘subtle.’ He deflates a little.

“Yeah. You two are supposed to play together tonight, right?” Kuroo wishes he had a drink to sip, “Is he - do you know if he’s coming?”

Akaashi hums, letting Kuroo hang for a minute before saying, “Yes, he was supposed to play with me, but apparently he’s not feeling well. Stomach bug.”

Akaashi lifts the violin to his neck and closes his eyes, drawing an even, resonating note from the instrument. Kuroo’s eyes fall closed as well, feeling the sound and taking a steadying breath under the cover of Akaashi. Akaashi lapses into a warm-up progression, opening his emerald eyes slightly to bore into Kuroo.

Kuroo turns from Akaashi’s gaze and walks back up to the bar, slapping his hand on the counter.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Where are you going?” Bokuto calls after him, “We just got started!”

Kuroo is already half out the door. He heads to his apartment, which is close. He doesn’t bother removing his shoes or bag when he comes in, instead opting to rummage his kitchen cabinets for ginger, cinnamon, and a lemon. He shoves it all in his bag and heads back out.

 

* * *

 

Tsukki has decided that he is okay with being a coward, at least for a little while longer. Instead of sitting and playing miserably at the bar, he is sitting comfortably in his living room, playing miserable music. He knows that Yamaguchi will make him be an adult tomorrow, will make him at least send a message to Kuroo, but right now, he lets the music fill his head and force out everything else.

He’s in the middle of a difficult chord progression when he hears someone knock on the door. Sighing, he rests his cello against the wall and goes to the door; Yamaguchi hasn’t been gone long, so he opens the door with an amused smirk.

“Did you forget your keys or some-”

“I - uh,” Kuroo stutters, obviously not who Tsukki was expecting. “Akaashi said you - you’re too sick to play so I…”

Tsukki blinks at Kuroo, smile gone. He feels like his brain is resetting for a solid thirty seconds before he comes back to himself.

“I- uh,” he says, “yeah, s-stomachache,” he explains weakly. God he feels so unprepared for this shit. Why hasn't he texted Kuroo? Why hasn’t Kuroo texted him? Why the fuck wasn’t Kuroo at work?

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” He blurts before he can stop himself.

“No, I’m off tonight. I came to the bar to see you,” Kuroo says, unassuming but sure of his words. He’s pointedly not looking directly at Tsukki’s eyes, remembering what Kenma said about his boldness being intimidating. He gestures to his bag, “When I heard you were sick I… thought I’d bring you tea. Make you feel better.”

Tsukki tries to squash down the shred of hope when Kuroo says he went to the bar to see him. He hears Yamaguchi in his head, reminding him that Kuroo hasn’t done anything to suggest that he doesn’t respect Tsukki and he clings to that.

“W-why?” Tsukki asks, and damn it all, he sounds so suspicious. He tries to backtrack, clenching the door frame so his hands don’t shake. "I mean - that’s a lot of, uh, effort,” he tries.

Kuroo shrugs. “It’s really nothing. I thought that either I could make it for you and then leave, or we could sit down if you were feeling well enough to just...talk?” He lets himself look at Tsukki’s face, keeping his own soft. Looking vulnerable without feeling manipulative is hard.  

_Let him in so that you can talk_ Tsukki thinks, and god that sounds a lot like Yamaguchi.  

He steps aside, letting Kuroo brush past him, and oh shit he’s been living like a fucking ass lately. Yamaguchi has been so patient with him, only asked that he collected his dishes at the end of the night and put them in the washer, but other than that the apartment is a wreck.

“Uh, wait - here, kitchen, is there,” he points, dashing around Kuroo and spinning him in that direction. “Kettle is on the stove-” he trots into the living room.

He grabs his cello and puts it in the case carefully, but after that he starts grabbing things and throwing them places. God how does he look? Kuroo looks fucking amazing as usual, and Tsukki stops for a second, looking at himself in the television screen before thinking, _fuck it, I can look like crap because I'm sick_.

Kuroo takes his time in the kitchen, turning on the kettle, pulling out the ginger, cinnamon, and lemon from his bag. Shit, I forgot the honey. He opens and closes the cabinets, looking for mugs, rolling his eyes at Tsukki’s hurried cleaning that he thinks Kuroo can’t hear. He picks up a little, organizes the things on the counter while the water boils.

Tsukki comes into the kitchen and leans against the counter, and _shit, what now?_ He watches Kuroo and waits, hoping that he won’t have to start the conversation that they desperately need to have. Except maybe Kuroo is waiting for him to start. But what the fuck does he say? ‘Hey how’ve you been?’ fuck that, no way.

“So...how’ve you been?” Kuroo says, casual and failing to imbue the words with nervousness. His arms are crossed leaning against the counter.

Tsukki looks skyward for strength and shrugs. “Okay. Work is - well, work, a little hellish,” Tsukki says. “How - how about yourself?” He asks.

Kuroo shrugs lazily, “Same as usual at the bar and the tattoo shop.”

There’s a lot of silence, and Kuroo’s chest hurts with the effort of it. This tension is stupid, he doesn’t understand why they can’t just come out with what’s bothering them and find their resolution already.

Just as he’s about to cave, the water boils, mercifully allowing him to brew the tea. He takes the cinnamon and pours them into two paper satchels. He slices the ginger and puts it into the mug whole. After he pours the water, he squeezes a lemon in. He hands one to Tsukki and holds one in his own hands. “So…”

Tsukki takes the tea with a hurried thanks and ducks his chin to blow on it. God this is awkward, so so fucking awkward. “Yeah…” he mumbles before taking a sip. The tea is wonderful, spicy and warm in his throat. It’d probably be perfect for a stomachache if Tsukki actually had one. “This is nice,” he says after a long pause. “The tea. Thanks - for coming by.”

“Yeah, anytime,” Kuroo says. Silence overtakes them for the last time, he can’t handle this nonsense. “So hey, the other night…”

Tsukki stiffens, he can’t help it, even though it’s obviously the reason Kuroo came over.

“What about it?” He asks, trying to act like it hasn’t affected him as deeply as it has. Yamaguchi’s voice rings in his head, telling him that he’s stronger that he thinks he is, but now that push comes to shove, he doesn’t feel strong.

“Do you want to tell me how you’re feeling?” Kuroo asks, inching closer to the very nervous blond.

“Not really,” Tsukki says honestly. He taps his fingers against his mug for a second before sighing and saying, "I shouldn’t have-” and stops. God with Kuroo here it feels fresh. He clears his throat, tries again, "I shouldn’t have even come in.”

“To the bar? Why not? I wanted to see you, and I wanted to know what you-” Kuroo clears his throat, “-had on your mind. I’m sorry about Oikawa, he’s an asshole but he’s also a close friend…you kept up with him for a minute though, it was se- I was impressed.”

Tsukki can’t help but scoff. “Oh, yeah, I figured out he was a _close friend_ ,” Tsukki sneers, unable to keep the meanness out of his tone. He steps back from the counter, Oikawa’s words dancing through his head and making him flush angrily.

_There it is_ , Kuroo thinks. He wants to make Tsukki repeat himself without the attitude. But he thinks of how deep he reads into Kenma’s stifled expressions and decides to take this bit that Tsukki is giving him.

“Yeah, we fuck sometimes,” he says, expertly masking the slight impatience in his voice, “but he really is a close friend. We understand each other in a special way.”

Tsukki bites his lip and nods before spitting, “Yeah, I noticed he already knows your rules.” He puts more space between them, and god, _fuck_ his eyes feel hot. “But hey, you know, that’s a good thing! I'm sure it must get exhausting to repeat the same thing all the time, so it’s great that you have someone who can do it for you!” His voice gets higher as he keeps talking. He crosses his arms, clamping down on his shaking hands.

Kuroo is all sweet and calm, deciding that such speech isn’t worth the effort of staying conscious of his tone. “Everyone knows my rules. I banter with customers about it. It’s not just the people I have sex with.”

Tsukki feels like he’s been slapped. He stares at Kuroo, not sure what he can even say to that. “Well, shit,” he croaks, "I should have paid better attention, then I wouldn’t’ve wasted so much of your damn time.”

There’s nowhere for him to go, it’s not like he can just leave the apartment. He steps back into the wall, pulling his arms tighter across his chest as if to make armor.

“Makes me wonder why you didn’t just chose some other toy!” Tsukki snaps, wishing he could keep his voice from wavering. “One who isn’t so much work.”

_Toy._ Kuroo can hear glass shattering in the confines of his mind. His face and mind is blank. He can’t remember what he planned to say, what he thought Tsukki was going to say. It feels like minutes pass by.

“What did I do...to make you think…?” He grits out, forcing himself to speak. It comes out quiet, but heavy. Kuroo has never used a person for sex without their explicit consent to do so. The fact that Tsukki feels used makes him feel ill.

Tsukki isn’t sure what he expected, but seeing Kuroo like this sets a heavy feeling in his stomach. It doesn’t even make him feel better. If he could sink into the wall he would.

“It’s bad enough knowing that I have to be c-coached through sex, but the fact-” he chokes back his tears, not wanting to give Kuroo the satisfaction. “The fact that you repeat the same script to e-everyone so that they know they don’t mean anything- if they sl-sleep with you. I mean- I'm an idiot for being so slow on the uptake.”

“I _like_ having sex with you. You're inexperienced, very attractive, and really smart. That makes you unpredictable, which for someone like me is _really good.”_ Kuroo bites the pain from Tsukki's words back from seeping into his own. “And I have news for you: _everyone_ needs to be guided through sex the first few times. And then again with each new partner! But that's not really what gets me…”  Kuroo steps forward, scowling, to physically confront Tsukki, body language big and unyielding. “...It's that last part. Like I have a _script._ Like I only care about getting laid.”

He steps closer to Tsukki, in full defense of himself for the first time in a long time, but not overtly aggressive.

“I care about everyone I take home, even if it's for one night. My regular partners, especially, are _important_ to me and I can't _fucking_ believe you would assume that I just use people and throw them away. You're too stuck inside your own damn head to even give a _shit_ about understanding me.”

_How did this all get so fucked up_ , Tsukki thinks as he looks down. He shouldn’t have said that, he shouldn’t have said anything.

“I-” he starts, his voice barely a whisper. He tries to think, scrambling for anything to say that isn’t absolutely crazy. His fingers claw at his sides. _Just tell him how you feel_ Yamaguchi’s voice tells him. "I felt- humiliated that night,” he says. He can’t think of what else to say, so he does what Yamaguchi told him to.

Kuroo's shoulders press back, his body opening up to what Tsukki has to say now that his words don't feel like an attack. His eyes soften a little. He breathes.

“When Oikawa said - your rules that night, I realized that you hadn’t,” he stops, laughing at himself humorlessly for how _naive_ he sounds. "I thought that you had said them to _me._ But, they’re something you say to everyone,” he explains, hoping that what he’s saying is clear.

He’s not even sure _what_ he’s trying to say anymore.

"I don’t- I didn’t mean that you don’t _care_ ,” he says, finally looking up at Kuroo. “If you didn’t care, you would have just - given up on me, the first time, and you didn’t. But you have a line for everything, a solution to every problem. You care about who you sleep with, but there’s still,” he waves his hands in front of him, vaguely, “a formula there. You know that saying ‘no pants in bed’ is charming and it _works_.”

He takes a deep breath, then another. “I'm in my own head because I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. And, I- you’re not going to fade into the background for me, and I feel like, once the novelty of m-my inexperience,” he spits the word like it burns him to say it, “wears off, you’ll move on.”

“Thank you for telling me how you feel,” Kuroo says slowly.

It takes a few moments for him to decide how best to respond. “I won't apologize for being charming or making you feel special in bed,” he allows some of his usual self to come out in the words, before getting serious. “But you're overlooking something. You're not some stranger, Tsukki. I think of you as a friend. I don't _want_ you to fade into the background. If we’re gonna continue I need you to be secure in yourself about that.”

Tsukki can’t help the shiver that goes through him.

_If._

Hearing some of Kuroo’s normal tone, as smug as it sounds in the moment, is somewhat of a comfort. He nods, quickly scrubbing at his face with his hands because he can feel hot tears going down his cheeks. He wants to sit, to wrap himself up so that he doesn’t feel so disarmed.

Slowly, carefully, he reaches out and takes one of Kuroo’s hands, leading him to the living room. He sits on one end of the couch and Kuroo settles on the other. After a second of wondering if Kuroo would think badly of him, he sighs and brings Yamaguchi’s blanket up around his shoulders, almost burrowing himself in the comfort it offers.

“I get - scared...and then I get angry,” he says softly after a few minutes of thought. He figures he might as well bare the rest of his soul, seen as how he already looks pathetic.

Kuroo nods. “Yeah?” He presses gently for more.

Tsukki nods, looking in the gap of his blanket to watch his hands. They’re trembling, but at least Kuroo can’t see. He laces his fingers at the first knuckle, to steady them.

“Yeah,” he breathes, “I- the only person I-I _can’t_ lash out at is Tadashi - my roommate.”

He keeps his eyes on the section of couch not covered by him or Kuroo. It’s like a neutral zone. He thinks of Yamaguchi holding him that night, letting him cry and be honest with himself while offering gentle words. A part of him thinks that maybe Kuroo would have done the same, in a different context, if Tsukki had let him. If Tsukki _really_ needed him.

“You scare me,” he whispers after another long stretch of silence.

Kuroo's shoulders shift.

_It probably scares him._

Kenma was right. Kenma is always right, but…Kuroo feels that same dread seep into his bones that he felt that night. He breathes, trying to melt it with air. He closes his eyes and imagines Kenma in his lap, in his arms.

“I’ve never been scared about this stuff.” Kuroo says, as if his past self were reaching forward in time and forcing him to repeat those words. He opens his eyes to look at the floor. “I want to understand you. Why am I… scary?”

Tsukki forces out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding with a grimace.

“Because you’re not scared of this,” Tsukki says. “I-” he stops, faces from long ago showing up in his mind. “I’ve been scared of being different since I was a kid,” he confesses. The only person who knows this is Yamaguchi. “But, I can get away with being scared, because I’m quiet. Because I’m mean.”

He takes a deep breath, pulling Yamaguchi’s blanket tighter around him, knowing that if he were here he’d have Yamaguchi’s arms around him like a vice. “But you-”

“-handle it differently when I get scared.” Kuroo finishes. “I'm good at breaking it down and managing it. I've gotten scared with you before…”

That makes Tsukki look at Kuroo. “What?” He asks. He’s not sure he heard the other man correctly.

“When I do everything to make you feel comfortable and cared for,” Kuroo says, “and you still shut down…I feel it creep up on me. I feel a little fucked up about how I am. Like I'm going to ruin you.” He can't help but grin a little, “but, y’know, in a bad way.” He takes a deep breath. “But I keep a handle on it. I remind myself that your reactions aren't a reflection on my value. And I keep it together and focus on enjoying you in the moment.”

And god, if that doesn’t make Tsukki feel like shit. He winces, biting his lips.

“I don’t mean to do that,” Tsukki says. “I’ve really liked everything that we’ve done. I-I do feel comfortable,” he says before smirking, just a little. “Until I get in my own head.”

“How do I help you not be scared of this?” Kuroo ask gently, leaning slightly towards Tsukki. _Or yourself?_

Tsukki shakes his head, not sure what he can tell Kuroo to help him. He’s opens his mouth to say as much when he thinks about what Tadashi would do for him. How he almost never feels like he has something to prove. He closes his mouth, turning to the side so that he can fully concentrate on his epiphany.

“I-let me...let me be scared,” he says slowly, “let me be scared, don’t- don’t try to fix it right away.”

“Okay.” Kuroo says simply. “Should I just leave you alone? Should I touch you? Or do you just want quiet?”

“No?” Tsukki asks, more to himself than Kuroo. “I'm sorry - I’m - my roommate, Tadashi,” he stops and takes a breath, steeling himself for revealing an uncomfortably embarrassing fact about himself, “he, uh, he lets me - he just…” like right now, he would be holding Tsukki’s hand, or letting him curl into his side so that he wouldn’t _have to_ look at him when he speaks. “He just lets me know that he’s there. He tells me I’m safe. He, uh, he holds me.” Tsukki’s cheeks flare at the admission and he tucks himself into the blanket a little further.

Suddenly Kuroo finds himself tight in the chest thinking about what Tsukki could be implying he wants.

“I can do that, but…” Kuroo trails off, frowning and thinking. He swallows hard. “So, to me, this sounds like you want my emotional and physical investment. Something more, or different, than I… than what we’re doing. Like a boyfriend?”

“No!” Tsukki blurts. He leans forward, pulling one arm out of his blanket fortress and puts it on Kuroo’s hand. The thought of _dating_ anyone, much less Kuroo sets him on edge. "I do not want to date you.”

“...but whenever someone says they want that,” Kuroo says slowly, “at least this soon, they always want a romantic relationship. Are you saying you want me to hold you, and support you… as a friend?”

_Holy shit does Tsukki get it?_

Tsukki winces, taking his hand back. "I never - I’ve never really dated,” he admits. Just another thing to tack onto his list of weirdness. “It doesn’t interest me, really, which - I know that’s weird, but I just - I can’t help that-”

“You get it?” Kuroo says breathlessly, “are you…?”

"I don’t- get what? Am I… gay?” Tsukki asks. He’s missed something that much is obvious.

“I- I'm aromantic,” Kuroo explains with hesitant relief seeping into his voice. “I'm sexually attracted to men and romantically attracted to nobody. Ever. I don't want or need a boyfriend or a husband or other romance in my life. And it seems like every time I have an amazing sexual experience, like with you, the person gets jealous of my partners, or freaks out about them or wants to go steady, date, meet the family, all of it.”

_Or they leave me for someone who can be those things._

“I kind of assumed your discomfort was from… that. Wanting that. And I hid from asking you because I didn't want to end it sooner than it had to.”

Kuroo’s slow, relieved, smile is infectious. Tsukki can’t believe it though, that it could really be that easy. “That’s not a thing, you’re just trying to make me feel better,” he accuses, but he can’t keep the hope off his face.

Kuroo feels almost _bubbly._ “It totally is!” His body language falls back into his usual easiness.

Tsukki claps a hand over his mouth and laughs, feeling lighter than he has in a long time. He hadn’t told anyone this - not even Tadashi - but the fact that Kuroo is finally relaxed and _happy_ and normal makes some of the knot in his stomach loosen. He can’t stop giggling once he starts, but god, it just feels so _good_.

“I-I’m - shit,” he gasps between giggles.

Kuroo doesn't know what to do. He's never seen Tsukki giggle before, not even in bed. And he's only ever seen him laugh once or twice. He just watches with raised brows and a tense smile.

After a few minutes, Kuroo finds a nice point to stop Tsukki. “Hey- there's one more thing I have to tell you.”

Tsukki takes a couple of deep breaths, his face red from laughter and embarrassment. “Yeah, shit, I'm okay,” he says, gesturing for Kuroo to continue.

“First, I'm sorry you found out about Oikawa the way you did,” he says and means it. “I knew that my reputation preceded me so I didn’t feel it was irresponsible not to tell you about my regular partners.”

He pauses, conjuring the right words.

“I also thought that you'd be intimidated by the thought of who I'm with aside from you. Honestly, all of that is why I _thought_ you were upset in the first place.”

Oikawa’s name sobers Tsukki the rest of the way and shrugs, "Not really. And actually, I should have guessed about you two,” he says quietly, “I’ve spent more than five minutes around you both.” He’s intrigued by Kuroo mentioning is other partners though. He has his suspicions, but he keeps quiet, waiting for Kuroo to continue.

“Also, I'm with Bokuto…”

Tsukki jumps a little. He’s seen them together, but, “but he’s with Akaashi, isn’t he?”

The grin that overtakes Kuroo's face is…borderline inhuman. He looks at Tsukki, at the floor, at Tsukki. His eyebrow raises slowly.

Tsukki watches him and... _he can’t mean_ . “You’re with Akaashi too?” he breathes, eyes wide. “At the same - time?” He can’t even _imagine_ what that must be like.

“Sometimes, though not usually,” Kuroo says thoughtfully. “Usually I and Bokuto will when we’re bored or Akaashi isn't into it or when we just want some fun.”

He pauses and looks very concerned with choosing his language. “Akaashi and I… play.”

Tsukki frowns. “I- that’s not some kind of thing where you pretend to be children, right?” He’d seen a couple of posts about that and had slammed his computer shut.

“ _Ew,_ god, no!” Kuroo says, disgusted. “Play is a _polite_ way of saying we do really kinky shit behind closed doors.”

Tsukki sags in relief. “Oh,” he says, smiling. And then what Kuroo said sinks in and, “ _O-oh,_ ” because he knows what playing a gig with Akaashi is like, with his quiet authority, so he can only _imagine_ what...what doing _that_ could be like.

“I- okay, so, okay,” he says, not sure what to say to that.

Kuroo is excited by how _flustered_ Tsukki looks. He’s also immeasurably relieved that Tsukki didn’t withdraw at this new information.

“You look like you have questions,” he croons, tone flirty and leaning toward Tsukki.

The younger man flushes, letting out a nervous laugh.

“I- stop enjoying this so much,” Tsukki says. He _does_ have questions. "I just- so you have rough sex, or?”

Kuroo can't help but feel a little turned on thinking of how to describe Akaashi to Tsukki. Partially because they keep it very, very secret and partially because Tsukki is _curious._

“Very rarely. We really only have sex when Bokuto is involved,” Kuroo says, all nonchalance. “Mostly he dominates me and beats me senseless.”

That doesn’t sound very appealing to Tsukki, but he nods slowly.

“Oookay,” Tsukki says. Still, he can’t really wrap his head around Akaashi being _violent_. To be fair there’s a lot he can’t wrap his head around, but if Kuroo likes that, then who is he to stop him? Especially when he’s being so open with him right now.

“Don’t say it like that, like I'm a weirdo!” Kuroo says, a little defensively, “Saying _oooookay_ like you haven't enjoyed erotic pain…” his eyes are dark and suggestive staring at Tsukki’s chest.

"I didn’t mean it like that!” Tsukki says, crossing his arms over his chest like Kuroo can see through his shirt. Some of the darkest marks Kuroo gave him are still there, just the hint of pale yellow on his skin. "I just--it’s _Akaashi_ ,” he says like that makes his point obvious. "I don’t think I’ve ever even heard him raise his voice!”

He can do nothing to control the wince and shudder that tingles up his body.

“He does his work… softly. He's like a bird of prey. Calm, radiant, beautiful, precise, effortless power. He only raises his voice when you've really fucked up,” Kuroo explains. Then he chuckles. “And I mean _really_ fucked up. I've fucked up that bad exactly once, and even then he only yelled my name. It was _terrifying_.”

Tsukki shivers at the thought, both wary and intrigued. He can’t help but wonder what Kuroo did and what Akaashi did after yelling his name.

“Oh,” he finds himself leaning closer to Kuroo, “That...makes more sense.” Maybe, one day, he could be okay watching that.

Kuroo notices Tsukki lean close, and Kuroo leans in a bit more himself.

“ _Does it?”_ He whispers suggestively.

Tsukki nods, his eyes glancing down at Kuroo’s lips then back up to his eyes. They should probably keep talking, but, if he’s honest, Tsukki has _missed_ Kuroo’s heat. His tone swoops in Tsukki’s stomach.

“Yeah,” he whispers. “Does he- is he the same with Bokuto?”

Kuroo nods. “Also, they have sex like we do, without all the kink. They’re very...alluring together,” he says, dreamy. “Bokuto is really fun to dominate.”

“Oh, you-” Tsukki waves a hand rather than saying the word dominate. It sticks in his throat, despite the fact that now that he thinks about it, that makes sense, “uh, too?” Suddenly the memory of Kuroo threatening to fuck his throat if he didn’t let him come is that much hotter.

Kuroo quirks a brow, smirking. “I…? What, too?”

Tsukki rolls his eyes, onto Kuroo’s game. “You know exactly what I mean,” he pouts.

“Yeah,” Kuroo admits, with a small shrug, "I just want to hear you say it.”

Heat spreads across Tsukki’s cheeks and into his ears. He puts his chin out stubbornly, teeth clenched together, before an idea comes to him.

“Make me,” he says quietly.

Kuroo’s eyes narrow and he leans in so that their faces are only inches apart.

“I’d _love_ to,” he growls, “but I don’t think you can _handle_ it.”

_Fuck it._ Tsukki knows he’s right, there’s probably all sorts of things they’d have to talk about before doing anything like _that_ , and right now he’s tired of talking.

He closes those inches and kisses Kuroo, hard, a little clumsy, and moans, small and wanting, against his mouth.

Kuroo kisses back, allowing Tsukki’s moan to pull a soft whine from his throat. His hands fly up to Tsukki’s cheeks and that small kiss begins to border on making out. Kuroo swings a leg around Tsukki so that he’s straddling his lap.

“Mm - want you…”

Tsukki gasps into Kuroo’s mouth, grabbing hips with the hand he doesn’t have wrapped up in Tadashi’s blanket.

“ _Shit,_ ” he hisses when he pulls away. “We- this is Tadashi’s. He’d kill me if we-” Tsukki says, pausing to kiss Kuroo again, “we need to move.”

He pushes Kuroo back halfheartedly and follows him up, just barely keeping himself from barreling into the older man when he gets caught in the blanket.

Kuroo looks a little windswept. “Is Tadashi - do you, ah...want to come to my place?”

Tsukki is already shaking his head as he leads Kuroo to his room. “He’s at a reception tonight, won’t be home for _hours_ ,” he explains, opening his door and gesturing for Kuroo to go ahead of him.

“Good. To be honest I'd love to… indulge your _previous request._ And more,” Kuroo purrs. Then he becomes alert, “That is, if - if we’re...okay now?”

It takes him a second to remember just what his request _was_ , considering all that’s happened and all of the talking, but once he does he bites his lips and says, “I’d like that, too,” quietly.

Kuroo sighs, _really_ relaxes, and after all this tension it feels _good._ He closes the distance between them and kisses Tsukki, hands roaming his slender body aggressively. Kuroo grips those slim, defined hips and pulls them against his own. His strong skilled hands hold them there, establishing a long slow grind together.

Tsukki moans, long and low, wrapping his arms around Kuroo’s neck and grinding against him eagerly. Kuroo isn’t being gentle with him, and he kind of loves it. He tries his best to guide Kuroo back to his bed blindly, too focused on kissing him until he’s breathless to dedicate a lot of energy to the task.

“B-bed,” he manages to gasp out.

Kuroo let's go of Tsukki's hip, places a hand on his chest, and _shoves_ Tsukki back onto the bed. Kuroo flings his shirt off before descending onto the blond, his hands clawing his sides and his tongue teasing just above his boxers.

Tsukki cries out, arching his back. He feels wonderfully over sensitive under Kuroo’s hands. He can’t even be bothered to worry about Kuroo seeing the one bruise he nursed, kept pressing and pinching to make sure it didn’t go away. It’s still on his inner thigh, where Kuroo had teased him about being a vampire. His hips move under Kuroo’s tongue, and he pushes his head out of the way to open the button and zipper on his pants. He leaves the rest to Kuroo and moves to his shirt, taking it off in one ungraceful movement.

Kuroo removes his pants while Tsukki removes his shirt. He is momentarily stunned by how fast they're both nude. He stands there naked, rapt with the sight of Tsukishima below him.

Tsukki props himself on his elbows and looks at Kuroo. He can feel his mouth watering, but he also starts to feel overexposed, vulnerable under Kuroo’s eyes. He clenches his hands, swallowing down the instinct to hide and takes a breath, counts to three.

“I’m - come here, please.”

Kuroo obeys immediately, body forming a cage over Tsukki. He pulls back the lustful haze clouding his mind, telling every part of him to make Tsukki moan and scream and grab him tight all night long.

_Patience._

He presses a kiss gently to Tsukki’s lips. “You okay?”

Tsukki chases his mouth, grabbing his shoulders. “Y-yeah,” he says, nodding his head. Having Kuroo’s heat over him makes him shiver, but in a delicious toes curling way. “Sorry I just - hate,” he trails off.

After a second he pushes himself up to kiss Kuroo again, but Kuroo collapses onto Tsukki, wrapping his arms around him tight. He doesn't say anything. He just maintains constant, tight pressure around Tsukki’s chest.

“I- Tetsurou?” Tsukki asks after a second. _What the hell just happened?_ “A-are you okay?”

Kuroo tilts his head up to peek at Tsukki.

“You hate something,” he says innocently, “You get angry when you're scared. I shouldn't ask what scared you; I should hold you. So I'm holding you.”

Tsukki opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again. He can’t help but smile a little as he rolls his eyes and says, “R-right. Thank you.”

He lets Kuroo hold him for another couple of minutes. It does help, he definitely doesn’t feel exposed anymore, just a little ridiculous.

“I-I'm okay now,” he starts, looking at Kuroo and patting his shoulder, “I don’t like being - exposed. Having you- having you over me helps.”

“Babe, I will put myself over you _any_ time you want,” Kuroo says with a wink. He halfway didn't expect that to work. He shifts to Tsukki’s side, propping his head on his hand. Licking his lips, he continues, “Especially if it makes you able to tell me your boundaries. _Hot_.”

Tsukki flushes, not sure what to say to something so ridiculous.

“Well, okay,” he says, turning his head to the side. “Are you going to _do_ anything while you’re here or just talk?” His fingers twitch against Kuroo’s shoulder as he speaks, but there’s no heat in his voice.

Kuroo places his hand over Tsukki’s and presses it into his skin more firmly. He pushes from his shoulder down to his clavicle, to his pecs, down his abs, over his hips, and places Tsukki’s hand on his erection. He rolls his hip forward into Tsukki’s hand.

“What do _you_ think?” He breathes.

Tsukki thinks he might forget to breathe for a full minute as he watches his hand pass over Kuroo’s skin.

He wraps his fingers around his cock, is more than happy to do it, and gasps when Kuroo thrusts into his hand. He looks back up at Kuroo’s face, stroking his hand over Kuroo’s erection once more before taking his hand back. He keeps eye contact, miraculously, until he starts actually licking over his fingers, getting them wet. He turns on his side and leans further into Kuroo, tucking his forehead into Kuroo’s hard chest to watch his wet hand glide more smoothly over Kuroo’s shaft.

Kuroo presses his face into Tsukki’s hair, mouth open and panting slightly. He inhales sharply, digging his hand into Tsukki’s hip, weak that Tsukki is touching his cock with such verve.

“I haven’t been able to - hnn - stop thinking about you” Kuroo moans softly, “when I'm alone…”

Tsukki moans, the sound broken up by a gasping breath. He can see Kuroo so clearly in his mind.

“T-tell me,” he says, running his palm over the head of Kuroo’s cock before giving it a long stroke down.

Kuroo closes his eyes, part from the pleasure and part to oblige Tsukki's request.

“When you said you wanted me to finger you,” he says breathily, “it didn't register. And then a few days later it hit me. And I couldn't stop thinking of you experimenting with yourself in bed…”

Tsukki’s hand only pauses for a second, and he hesitates before nodding his head. “Y-yeah,” he says slowly, he twists his wrist under the head so Kuroo won't press the issue. He's thought a lot about that night, about Kuroo, but not in a good way, not in a way that would let him get the courage to _experiment._

Kuroo moans softly, pleasure sweeping across his hips. It takes a second for him to process Tsukki's response.

“That ‘yeah’ doesn't sound quite right,” he says, slowly pumping his hips. “ _Have_ you…” he trails off to think of the least obscene way to say _fucked yourself,_ “explored your body?”

Tsukki stiffens a little, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

Kuroo takes Tsukki's hand off of his cock and puts it on his firm, toned ass. “...but I bet you researched it.” He whispers, fingertips trailing across Tsukki's chest. “So why don't you tell me what you know. Why you want it,” he kisses Tsukki's cheek, “why you're nervous.”

Tsukki moans, pressing his chest into Kuroo’s hand. “I - about prepping yourself. Lots and lots of lube,” he says with a breathless chuckle. “y-you have to go slow, and relax,” he adds after a moment.

He swallows hard and moves back so that he can see Kuroo’s face, so he can read his reaction when he says, "I don’t want it to hurt.”

Kuroo's heart skips. Seeing Tsukki so outwardly _scared_ of being penetrated makes him want to show him how good it can be. He smiles gently.

“If it hurts you're not using enough lube or going slow enough.”

He takes a moment to clear his thoughts, to just _feel_ Tsukki's skin beneath his fingers. He remembers the feeling of his cock on Tsukki's ass before fucking his pressed thighs. It had exhilarated Kuroo but it made Tsukki tense.

“While I _can_ work you open nice and slow,” he says, “I think you'd be more comfortable if your first time was just you.”

Tsukki’s not sure what to say to that. He’s a little disappointed. Before the disastrous night at the bar, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Kuroo opening him slowly with his fingers. Remembering Kuroo’s cock sliding between his thighs had made him instantly hot, and he couldn’t stop thinking about what it would feel like to actually have Kuroo _inside_ of him.

“Oh,” he finally says. He’d only been able to press his fingers against himself while his other hand worked furiously at his cock. Just the feeling of his fingers against his hole, pressing while wishing they were Kuroo’s fingers, had sent him over the edge more than once. “Okay…”

“I can't tell what you're thinking unless you tell me…” Kuroo says, seeing straight through Tsukki’s half-assed acceptance of his suggestion. His tone makes it clear that this time he isn't teasing.

Tsukki frowns, but Kuroo’s right.

"I just - before the night at the bar…” he starts, face bright red, "I couldn’t stop thinking about- about _you_ ,” he says with a pointed look. He lets himself breathe for a couple of seconds before he can admit, “opening me - I really wanted that...to happen.” He looks down, “but I can- I can do it.”

A furious blush spreads across Kuroo’s face. He can’t breathe. His vision goes fuzzy around the edges. He can feel his pulse in his cock. Every nerve feels like a live wire. Somewhere deep inside him, again, is screaming to make Tsukki fall apart.

This time, he gives into it.

Suddenly he’s on top of Tsukki, taking his mouth in a zealous kiss, sucking on Tsukki’s tongue, licking and panting into his mouth.

Tsukki gasps, frozen for a second as he tries to catch up, but then he’s wrapping his arms around Kuroo’s neck and kissing him just as fervently.

Kuroo makes sweet, deep moans and grinds down onto Tsukki’s cock, causing the younger man to moan and pant. He weaves his fingers into Tsukki’s hair and pulls back roughly, which makes Tsukki thrust against him as he whimpers, granting access to that _beautiful_ neck. He’s all tongue with gentle flashes of teeth all along the sinewy column.

“A-ah, Tetsurou,” Tsukki moans, working to grind his hips into Kuroo’s. He feels like he’s burning up in the best way possible. He reaches down to grab Kuroo’s hips, trying to keep pace with him, his nails scratching and pressing into the wonderfully defined muscles there. The pain mixes so nicely with the pleasure shooting all over his body.

Kuroo feels flames lick along his back hearing his given name in Tsukki’s voice. He grits his teeth and bites back a moan feeling Tsukki’s fingertips digging into his ass. His tongue lavishes Tsukki’s clavicles before paying attention to his nipples. Kuroo moans in anticipation before teasing one with the tip of his tongue.

Tsukki’s hands fly up Kuroo’s back, leaving long, angry scratches in their wake.

“Fuck- fuck, Tetsurou, fuckfuck _fuck_ ,” he whines. He buries one hand in Kuroo’s hair, and god he’s missed how surprisingly soft it is. Tsukki’s moans are interrupted by shaking breaths as Kuroo works over his chest.

Kuroo decides he needs to know what Tsukki's hands feel like on his back while the blond is being fucked. He sucks on Tsukki’s nipple obscenely, then leans his head up to look at Tsukki.

“Lube? Protection?”

Tsukki whines at the loss, but he wriggles out from under Kuroo and all but rips the drawer out of his bedside table. He scrambles blindly to find his lube, grumbling under his breath until he hand closes around the bottle. He turns back and passes it to Kuroo, kissing him breathlessly.

He pulls back long enough to gasp, “How are we doing this?” He knows he’s overeager but he’s too turned on to be embarrassed. “Do you have-?”

“Yeah, hold on,” Kuroo says. He goes to his bag and pulls out a small Ziploc, containing several condoms, sets of black gloves, finger cots. He pulls out a glove and puts the bag on the nightstand.

“Babe, you just focus on feeling good,” Kuroo says, the words dripping with libido, as he snaps the glove onto his hand. He kisses Tsukki and it’s slow, gentle, reassuring. He descends to Tsukki’s cock, taking it in his mouth and sucking gently on the head. Tsukki moans, pressing his head back into his pillows and covering his mouth with one hand. The other hand stays buried in Kuroo’s hair.

There’s a soft click, and Kuroo takes one of Tsukki’s legs and bends it up, over his shoulder granting easier access to his ass while allowing Kuroo to keep his mouth on Tsukki’s cock. His arm wraps around Tsukki’s muscular thigh so that his hand can rest on Tsukki’s sternum. He releases Tsukki’s cock from his mouth and teases it gently with his tongue.

“I’m gonna touch you...Okay?” He says, looking up at Tsukki with his cheek pressed to his thigh.

Tsukki nods quickly. He can feel his muscles are tight, but he tries to breathe, long and deep, to relax. The scene Kuroo makes between his legs is amazing, and Tsukki props himself up so that he can watch. He takes a deep breath, another, and says, "I think so - yes.”

Kuroo presses his very well-lubed index finger against Tsukki’s hole, not entering him but simply applying pressure to him. He looks up at Tsukki to check his reaction, while licking his shaft with broad strokes of his tongue.

Tsukki’s muscles clench automatically and he groans. He melts back on his bed, focusing on the feeling of Kuroo’s tongue on his shaft. He bears down just a little, enough that the tip of Kuroo’s finger presses into him slowly.

_That was fast,_ Kuroo thinks. Still intensely focused on Tsukki’s face, he takes the blond’s cock in his mouth and establishes a steady rhythm bobbing up and down. He slowly and firmly slides his entire finger into Tsukki.

Tsukki chokes and gasps, covering his mouth with his hand. Kuroo’s mouth on him is amazing, but, the finger--it feels strange, alien. There’s a stretch already, how is he supposed to fit more in there?!

“S-shit - shit,” he whispers, biting his hand. He can feel his muscles clenching down against the intrusion and tries to relax, tries to bear down, but he can’t, he can’t.

“Don’t push against me,” Kuroo whispers, letting Tsukki’s cock fall out of his mouth so that he can press kisses to the inside of his thigh, “Keep breathing…”

Tsukki feels like an idiot, but he nods, sucking in shaky breaths.

“I-it doesn’t-” Tsukki chokes. It doesn’t feel good, god, _why can’t he fucking do this?_

“I’m going to pull out...okay?” Kuroo says, calm. He removes his finger, slowly, wincing slightly when Tsukki hisses in pain. He removes his glove, tossing it inside-out in the direction of the trash can. He lays next to Tsukki. “Are you alright?”

Tsukki wants to curl up and disappear. He’d been so confident that he could do this, shit. He presses the heels of his palms into his eyes.

“I'm sorry,” he whispers. God he just wanted to be able to _do something_ without it becoming fucking _complicated_ and _bad_. He moves his hands to see if Kuroo is disappointed in him. "I thought I could…”

“It’s okay,” Kuroo says, supportive. “Now you know what to practice alone with yourself.”

He kisses Tsukki’s lips softly, then his cheeks. He pauses as if struck by an idea, then grins.

“Y’know. Thinking of me and all.”

Tsukki takes deep breaths and reminds himself that this is okay. A small part of him thinks he owes Oikawa one, because he can only imagine how this would have gone that night, rather than now. Not that he’s ever going to admit that to anyone, not even _Tadashi_.

Kuroo runs his fingers through Tsukki’s hair with one hand and places the other on his chest.

“Do you still wanna have sex?” Kuroo asks, watching his fingers make small patterns on Tsukki’s skin.

Tsukki turns so that he can see Kuroo’s face as he asks, “Do _you_?” incredulously. He finds it hard to believe that Kuroo would want to after such an awkward display.

Kuroo continues to look at his hand. _Do I ever not want to have sex?_

“Yes,” he whispers simply. His eyes meet Tsukki’s; they’re not all darkness and sex anymore but those sparks are still there. He closes them to brush his lips against Tsukki’s.

Tsukki kisses him back, not quite back in the eager mood he was before, but, not disinterested either. He turns over so that he’s facing Kuroo, rather than the wall, and puts a hand on his chest.

“I-I can suck you,” he offers, figuring that he can make up for being a disappointment with his mouth.

“Actually,” Kuroo’s his hand moves to grip Tsukki’s shoulder. He pulls the younger man close to him to growl in his ear, “I want you to fuck me.”

Tsukki blinks, staring at the wall over Kuroo’s shoulder, before regaining some of his composure.

“Still obsessed with my hands, hm?” He manages to sound a little cocky.

Kuroo chuckles, releasing his hold on Tsukki’s shoulder and instead using it to bring Tsukki’s hand to his lips.

“Indeed I am,” he whispers between kisses, “but I wasn’t thinking of your _hands_ …”

Tsukki flushes a bright red, looking down at their hips, close enough that they’re almost touching, and then back up to Kuroo’s face.

“Wait, seriously?” He asks. His dick, which had started to go soft when Kuroo pulled out, twitches against his thigh.

Kuroo hums, takes Tsukki’s hand from his mouth and guides it down to wrap around both their half-hard dicks. “Only if you want it…” he breathes. His eyes fall closed and he imagines Tsukki below him, inside of him, trying to hide his moans and failing. His cock begins to swell in Tsukki’s hand.

Tsukki gasps and his hips move on their own in his grip, pressing his quickly hardening cock into Kuroo’s.

“I-I well, yes, but, are you sure?” In his current state of mind he can’t imagine that actually having a dick up your ass feels remotely good, but Kuroo seems confident enough. "I don’t want to hurt you,” he says quietly, his own hole clenching slightly at the thought.

Kuroo stifles the laugh that wants to bubble out of him. “It doesn’t feel like _that_ with practice,” he says, light, and then his voice drops, “I’m very, _very_ familiar with my body.” He winds his hips, changing the way their cocks rub together.

Even though he’s not laughing, Tsukki can tell that he’s being teased. He pouts, but he can’t focus for long when their cocks brush against each other so wonderfully. He bites his lip and nods, grabbing Kuroo’s neck and pulling him in for a long, slow kiss. It doesn’t take long for him to start breathing fast again, for him to feel like there’s electricity under his skin where he and Kuroo are touching.

“Show me,” he says against Kuroo’s lips, “so I know what- what to do - ah - later.”

Kuroo reaches back, grabs a new glove and some lube. _Tsukki really, really needs to get a one-handed bottle_ , he thinks. He slicks up his gloved hand and reaches back.

“I’m used to it, s’not the same…” he says, his breathing just beginning to skip, “If it’s alright with you, I’d rather...you keep doing that with your ha-hand,” he looks down at their cocks, and moans softly at the sight. Tsukki doesn’t hesitate to stroke around both of them again, moaning.

Kuroo kisses Tsukki, gasping against the man’s mouth when his own finger enters him. Kuroo winces slightly but the set of his mouth screams _pleasure._ Just like the first time, his forearm muscles work with the effort of his finger coming in and out.

“M-make out with m-me,” he breathes, shuddering a little.

Tsukki’s eyes are rapt on where Kuroo’s hand is working behind him and he has to grab his hip to ground himself. It takes him a minute to realize that Kuroo said something, and he tears his eyes away.

“What?”

Kuroo whines when he puts his middle finger in alongside his index finger. He overtakes Tsukki's mouth roughly, panting.

“Make out - with me.”

Tsukki moans into the kiss, nodding quickly before surging back, his free hand grabbing at Kuroo’s hair. His hips stutter forward and he gasps before biting at Kuroo’s lips, drawing a moan from the older man.

“Tell me, tell me how it feels,” he whispers against Kuroo’s lips, the hand in his hair scratching at his neck.

Where Tsukki took concentrated breaths to get himself to relax, Kuroo is all breathy whines and long moans. He leans his head back, exposing his neck to Tsukki.

“Feels…hot…good…” he whispers between gasps. Kuroo _feels_ sexy. He deepens the curve of his back to get a better angle, to scissor his fingers apart.  He whines at the stretch and his hips jut forward to press his cock more firmly into Tsukki's grip.

Tsukki can’t help but stare at the sight Kuroo makes. He just lets himself watch, for a minute, and jealousy flares in his chest. He wants to feel that good - he wanted to be able to look like that.

Rather than steep in self-pity, he presses kisses into Kuroo’s neck, starting under his jaw and then moving down to his shoulder where he leaves an angry red mark. He thinks about Oikawa and groans, using his teeth and lips to suck a dark bruise. At least right now, _he_ gets Kuroo like this. The sound that tears through Kuroo's chest has Tsukki seeing stars.

“You - look so fucking- _hot_ ,” Tsukki groans, giving their cocks a squeeze.

Kuroo is all fire. He needs that. He needs Tsukki's cock filling him. Tsukki's teeth sinking into his flesh, bruising him. He _needs._ He grips Tsukki's hair and presses their foreheads together. “Do that, bite me like that again,” he snarls, “when you’re fucking me.”

He pulls away from Tsukki, removing his fingers from his ass and tossing the glove. He retrieves a condom from the bedside table, unwraps it, and pinches the tip between his lips.

Tsukki quirks a brow, then his eyes widen at the sight of Kuroo putting the condom over his dick with his _mouth._

He covers his mouth with his hand and swallows hard.

Kuroo works his mouth around Tsukki's cock for a moment before using his long fingers to spread lube all over it. It looks like more than seems reasonable. Kuroo swings his leg over Tsukki, straddling his hips. He grinds forward and back, Tsukki's cock sliding between his ass cheeks and teasing his hole.

“Shiiiiit,” Tsukki groans, grabbing Kuroo’s hips hard, nails digging into his flesh. He watches Kuroo’s hips, jaw slack. He thrusts his hips up with a sharp whine. “Tetsurou, please,” he gasps.

Kuroo reaches down, positions the head of Tsukki's cock to his hole, and sinks down in one smooth motion.

They both moan, loud and rough.

Kuroo's mouth falls open, his brows furrow, his shoulders roll forward, his breaths are shallow. All of his weight falls onto Tsukki's hips, rendering the blond immobile. He gazes down at Tsukki, pupils blown and eyes hooded.

“I, fuckfuckfuck, Tetsurou,” Tsukki moans. He feels like his cock is in a vice grip of heat. Tsukki reaches and grabs Kuroo’s shoulders, pulling him down to kiss him.

“Fuck, fuck me, Tetsu, please, please,” he gasps, kissing and sucking Kuroo’s jaw.

“Just - ah - another… minute…” Kuroo breathes. Tsukki lets out another desperate whine but waits. Kuroo focuses on feeling Tsukki's mouth all over him, soaks in the desire and lust each time it makes contact with his skin.

Kuroo lifts himself up away from Tsukki's mouth to get a better angle, and the younger man tries to pull him back before realizing doing so is counterproductive. He peeks down at Tsukki through one eye, and lifts his hips up, bringing Tsukki's cock almost all the way out, and then sinks back down agonizingly slow.

Tsukki’s moan rips out of him, his hips moving from side to side since he can’t move _up_. He starts a steady mantra of “fuck, fuck, fuck”, and grabs at Kuroo’s arms, desperate to have his weight back on him. The way Kuroo is looking at him is enough to send anxious shivers down his spine, mixing with the pleasure he feels.

“God, fuck, fuuuck, Te-Tetsu, please,” he begs, leaving long scratches down Kuroo’s chest. He wants to move his hips, to fuck into Kuroo and make him scream and absolutely cover him in marks so that anyone would be impressed, but the position doesn’t really allow for that, and he growls in frustration.

All of that scratching and begging only makes Kuroo want to go _slower._ Tsukki's hands on his arms are nothing short of divine. He feels heat everywhere Tsukki touches, and every word and moan that comes out of him makes his cock twitch and spine ache. Fire coils inside of him from the satisfaction that no one would ever guess Tsukki would be capable of making these sounds.

He repeats the motion, coming up slow, holding there for a moment… and then nearly throwing himself down onto Tsukki’s cock with a deep moan.

“ _FUCK_ ,” Tsukki screams. His hips thrust up on their own, ramming into Kuroo and Tsukki sees stars. He keens, and fuck, this position is a blessing and a damn curse because he can _watch_ Kuroo’s face, see his muscles move, but he’s stuck on his back just _watching. H_ e whines and throws his head back.

“Dammit, this- I want to- fuck- _fuck_ ,” Tsukki stammers.

“Such a - anh...” Kuroo moans, “f-ilthy mouth.”

He rears back, bringing his body perpendicular to Tsukki. His knees are against the mattress, thighs holding Tsukki's hips in place. His hands rest on Tsukki's thighs, slightly behind him. He looks at Tsukki's face with barely open eyes as his hips rock forward and back, thighs lifting himself off of Tsukki’s cock and gently back down, fucking onto Tsukki shallowly.

Pleasure spikes through Tsukki and he moans, wishing that he could grab back onto Kuroo. He tries to lean up, to grab Kuroo’s thighs or--or something, anything, but he can’t without dislodging the other man. He groans and flops back, torn. He doesn’t want to lose Kuroo’s heat around him, but he feels completely useless in this position.

“Th-this isn’t - working,” he says, his voice coming out rough.

Kuroo feels… put off. Like there's a draft in the room.  This should feel amazing and _look_ even better for Tsukki. He stops his hips and opens his eyes.

“... What?” he asks, voice a little strained from physical exertion.

Tsukki senses Kuroo’s frustration and sighs, propping himself up on his elbows to see him better. “I want - it’s killing me that I can’t _touch you_ ,” he says, looking at Kuroo’s torso, his cock, and licking his lips. “I- this is a-ah-mazing, I just - please, I want,” he leans on one arm and reaches out with the other to brush against the hollow of Kuroo’s throat with a desperate whine. "I can’t _kiss you like this._ ”

Tsukki’s touch seems to expel all semblance breath from Kuroo. He spends a moment in complete silence, chest convex with emptiness, cavernous gaze resting on Tsukki’s mouth, his words ringing through Kuroo’s mind.

Understanding creeps up on him. That draft in the room becomes precursor to a vacuum, a black hole of carnal _need_ swallowing him whole. Air fills his lungs, his eyes close, and he leans down pressing their chests together, keeping Tsukki’s cock inside of him, and capturing Tsukki’s mouth in a ravenous kiss. One hand claws down Tsukki’s chest, the other weaves into his hair.

“ _Fuck,”_ he gasps. “Too - hot - _Kei.._.“

Tsukki moans into Kuroo’s kiss, his hips lifting in small thrusts, and he wraps his arms down Kuroo’s back and digs his fingertips into the rippling muscles there. He feels, god, incredible. He thrusts shallowly, as much as he can manage in this position.

“So - so good,” he breaths, moving his mouth to the mark he left on Kuroo before. He sinks his teeth into it before soothing the hurt with his tongue.

Kuroo hisses in pain and groans, cock dripping precum onto Tsukki’s abs. Tsukki moves to the other side and gives that shoulder the same treatment, gasping and moaning at Kuroo’s every move above him. By the time he’s finished, Kuroo’s left shoulder is covered in fresh red bites that Tsukki is rather proud of.

“ _More,_ ” Kuroo breathes. his hips stutter from need, and kisses Tsukki’s neck and rocks back on his cock, meeting his shallow thrusts and making them _longer._ “Take me, Kei, harder, _please,_ your cock, your teeth-”

Tsukki takes hold of Kuroo’s hips, meeting his rhythm with a long, choked moan. He thrusts harder, panting in time with his hips. Kuroo feels so good around him, on top of him, and Kuroo’s words ripple through him.

After a couple of minutes he moves his hands up, grabbing at Kuroo’s shoulders and pressing his fingers against his marks, he pulls Kuroo forward into a bruising kiss.

“F-fuck so good,” he gasps. He can feel his orgasm starting to build and his thrusts stutter out of their steady rhythm. “I-I'm gonna come, shit, Tetsu-”

Kuroo grunts, clenches his fist in Tsukki’s hair, and reaches down to stroke his own cock with the other. His body rises from Tsukki’s, just far enough to give him better leverage; their mouths are still close enough to feel each other’s labored breathing. He purposely tightens around Tsukki. He uses the power of his abs and hips alone to double his pace on Tsukki’s cock. His shoulders tense under the blond’s fingers with the effort of staying close to him.

Tsukki leans up, straining his neck, so that he can kiss Kuroo. He tries to meet Kuroo's rhythm, but it's a lost cause. Kuroo tightens around him and he shouts, scratching down his shoulders at the delicious feeling. He feels his orgasm wash over him and he whines, long and high in his chest. His hips aren’t so much _thrusting_ as they are twitching up into Kuroo.

Tsukki’s scratching, that _sound,_ resonates through Kuroo, and it’s only another moment or two before he’s coming over his hand onto Tsukki’s stomach, groaning desperately. He convulses around Tsukki’s cock and shudders down to press against his body, feeling Tsukki’s aftershocks against his skin.

Tsukki feels like he’s on fire as he comes down, gasping for breath. He pulls Kuroo in for a lazy, languid kiss. He’s not sure he even has the energy to go to the bathroom for a fast shower.

“That- that was amazing,” he murmurs against Kuroo’s mouth, eyes half closed and cheeks red.

“Yeah,” Kuroo pulls off of Tsukki’s cock and falls next to him, continuing their kiss. He inhales deeply and sinks into Tsukki on the exhale. He _could_ easily come back together to have a conversation at this point, but he doesn’t want to. He peeks at Tsukki; his cheeks, his eyes, his shoulders devoid of tension, his relaxed brows. Contentedness and attraction flare through him, and he sneaks his tongue past Tsukki’s lips, meeting his slowly and gently.

Tsukki is fading fast, after the tension and then the sex. He’s just so tired and happy.

“We - clean,” he mumbles, into the kiss, flailing for his bedside table drawer again. It takes him a couple of minutes to realize he has to roll, kissing Kuroo is very distracting,  and he groans as he does so, digging around in his drawer until he comes back with a small packet of wet towelettes. “Here - go clean,” he says, eyes drooping closed for a second. He opens them enough to grab a towelette and wipe himself off.

Tsukki, sleepy charming Tsukki, seems to be having a hard go of things, so Kuroo takes the towelette from his hand and cleans the come off of him. He repeats for himself, deciding they can shower in the morning. When he rolls back over from tossing out the towelettes and condom, Tsukki is already asleep.

* * *

 

Kuroo feels….sore. Not as sore as he’s ever been, but his hips ache.

_Well-fucked._

His eyes still closed, he twists in bed, stretching his hips out, but feels something heavy on his thigh. He opens his eyes and looks next to him to see Tsukki, looking like he’s getting good sleep for the first time in his _life._

Kuroo, a professional thanks to Kenma, untangles himself from Tsukki without waking him.

He puts on his boxers and goes to the bathroom, splashes water on his face, runs hand through his hair. Admires the crescent-shaped red marks adorning his shoulders, inches in width and length, the color of black cherry. He presses his finger into one and hisses. _Good._ He cranes his neck to the sides, and the pull of his muscles beneath his flesh makes the marks hurt. _Excellent._

His fingertips follow the lines down his chest to find more bruises on his hips. They don’t hurt like the ones on his shoulders but damn do they look good. He twists to get a good look at his back. Just from glimpsing, there are welted marks from scratching. _Damn_. He wonders what would happen if Tsukki didn’t keep his nails short, shudders at the thought.

He takes a deep breath, steadying himself to keep from getting _too_ turned on remembering last night, and opens the door. He heads to the kitchen, puts on the tea kettle, and looks for cups.

 

* * *

 

Yamaguchi had been surprised when he came home and didn't find Tsukki on the couch or in his bed. The last week had been rough, but he's happy to see that his best friend seems to be pulling himself back up. Yamaguchi has been lying in bed, enjoying a lazy morning, one he specifically requested off after such a late reception - that had gone off flawlessly thank you very much - and waiting for the sounds of Tsukki out and in the apartment. He drags himself out of bed with a sigh, stretching his muscles before opening his door.

“Ah- Tsukki, morning!” He calls, heading straight for the bathroom without looking at Tsukki in the kitchen. He pees, washes his hands and face and comes out with a bright smile.

“It looks like you’re feeling bett-” Yamaguchi finally looks in the kitchen, and that’s not Tsukki. The other man is tall and dark, from his hair, to his eyes and skin - to the bruises covering that skin.

Yamaguchi stops in his tracks, not sure what to do for a second until, “You’re Kuroo?”

Kuroo looks up from the box of tea he was reading to find...tall pale and freckly standing in Tsukki’s kitchen.

That’s right. Roommate.

Roommate that looks stunned.

Kuroo isn’t shocked at that reaction. He smiles, all charm, and says, “I am. You’re Tadashi?”

Yamaguchi isn’t sure what to make of that smile, but he puts a polite smile on his own face.

“Yamaguchi Tadashi, yes,” he says brightly. Now it makes more sense that Tsukki wasn’t on the couch or in _his_ bed. For being mostly naked in front of a stranger, Kuroo doesn’t seem to be too fazed, which probably a good thing is considering how high strung Tsukki can be.

Yamaguchi walks over to one of the cabinets, pulling out three mugs, and hands two of them to Kuroo.

"I hope,” he starts, only pausing to think of what words to use, “you don’t find this rude, but, did you two...resolve things, last night?”

He looks Kuroo in the eyes without faltering. Back in high school this man would have scared him, but, he needs to make sure that Tsukki hasn’t dug himself into a deeper hole that will only end up getting him hurt.

Kuroo holds Yamaguchi’s gaze, “We did,” he says, “in part, thanks to you.” He takes the mugs and places them on the counter without breaking eye contact.

Yamaguchi probably doesn’t look as surprised as Kuroo might expect. Tsukki...he doesn’t open himself easily. Even for Yamaguchi it took a few years for Tsukki to show himself fully, to bear his soul without the fear the he would be rejected.

“I’m glad,” he says simply, figuring that it’s not his place to pry, and that Tsukki will probably tell him everything when he’s ready. Speaking of… “Is Tsukki still asleep?”

He’s trying not to look obviously at the bruises and scratches all over Kuroo. _Those_ are certainly a surprise.

“Like the dead,” Kuroo says, a soft smile creeping at the corners of his mouth. It melts into a lopsided grin when he, perceptive as hell, sees Yamaguchi looking-not-looking at the marks adorning his body. He looks-not-looks at Yamaguchi in return.  “So, how was the reception?” He asks, putting tea bags in all three cups.

Yamaguchi doesn’t miss that smile, and he has to say that he understands the appeal. He’s a little surprised at the question. “Oh, good, it was good! It went great, mostly thanks to Yachi. How did you know?” He asks, settling against the counter with his mug hugged to his chest, despite it being empty.

“Tsukki told me last night,” Kuroo says, looking at the kettle. His voice lowers and his ever-present knowing smirk returns. His eyes meet Yamaguchi’s. “Also, Oikawa told me you order all your flower arrangements from his shop.”

Yamaguchi’s smile falters and he looks down. He and Oikawa -- well, they had been a classic case of just-this-once turning into repeated sexual encounters and thereby each of them earning a spot on the other's casual sex roster. He’d forgotten that Oikawa and Kuroo are close.

“Ah, Tsukki - he doesn’t know,” he says quietly. “I wouldn’t normally hide something like this from him, but…” he trails off, giving Kuroo a meaningful look.

Kuroo feigns innocence, occupying his attention with pouring hot water into Yamaguchi’s cup as well as his own.

“He doesn’t know…? What, that you have a taste for beautiful, poisonous flowers? That you’re _very good_ at…” he drags out a thoughtful pause, then quirks a brow, “planning weddings?”

He picks up his cup and blows the steam away. “Say no more,” he whispers against the rim, tawny eyes genuine despite his mischievous demeanor.

Tsukki was right, Kuroo is disarming. Yamaguchi takes a sip of his tea, wincing when it seers down his throat. “Tsukki tells me that you work at Noya and Tanaka’s tattoo shop? As well as the bar?” He’s more than happy to change the subject.

“Yup. I’m an assistant to everyone at the tattoo shop and I pick up bartending shifts with my best bro sometimes,” he says, “that’s actually how I met Tsukki.”

Yamaguchi hums as he takes another sip. “Yes, I know.”

He wonders if Kuroo knows that Tsukki has told him everything.

“I’ve been there when Bokuto-san is working. He is...excitable,” he says with a chuckle. "I can only imagine what night when both he and Hinata are working are like.”

“Loud,” Kuroo says, “Hinata is fast as hell at pouring shots, Bokuto is great at the mixed drinks.” He sips his tea, “wait, how do you know Hinata?”

“Oh, he’s one of Yachi’s best friends! She’s the owner of Taking Flight, where I work. Hinata used to help out, but, he’s not the most coordinated person sometimes, and, well, it’s best not to be too excitable at a wedding,” Yamaguchi says with a fond eye roll. His stomach growls, loud, and he flushes a little. “Ah, well, are you hungry?”

“Yeah, actually,” Kuroo replies, touching his stomach, “can I help cook?”

Yamaguchi waves him off. “No, I can. You go wake up sleeping beauty,” he says, grabbing a pan off the wall and setting it on the stove. “Just know that I will eat all the breakfast myself if you two don’t come back out in a timely fashion,” he warns with a sharp smile.

_Ah, yes,_ that’s _what Tooru saw in him._

“Of course.” Kuroo sets down his mug and walks by Yamaguchi, leaving mere inches between their shoulders, and heads to the bedroom.

He opens the door, and Tsukki is still out cold. _I hate to wake him..._ He thinks, then makes peace with himself by way of kissing Tsukki’s soft, slack lips gently. He places the same sort of kiss all down his neck, his chest, until Kuroo feels a hand in his hair.

Tsukki’s eyes are just barely open, his face pinched in annoyance, but mostly annoyance at the day, rather than Kuroo. Of all the ways to wake up, this definitely isn’t a bad one.

“Mmmm, what time is it,” he asks, voice rough with sleep. He feels the air from the room on his body and realizes that he fell asleep _right after_ they had finished last night and he grimaces.

“That _face!_ ” Kuroo says with a smirk, “Good morning to you too~” He turns his head to kiss Tsukki’s wrist near the hand that’s woven in his hair, “as much as I’d have loved to let you sleep all day, Yamaguchi says that we should get back into the kitchen or else we don’t get breakfast.”

Tsukki sits up, eyes wide. “You- Tadashi is up?” He asks, finally taking in the bruises that he left on Kuroo the night before. He had completely forgotten about his best friend. He’s going to have questions, but hopefully he won’t bring them up in front of Kuroo. He releases the older man hair and flops back. “Shit, I'm disgusting,” he groans.

“We’ve already had tea together,” Kuroo says, “he's lovely to chat with. If you want to go freshen up, I wouldn't mind talking with him some more.” He quirks a brow and leers at Tsukki, “I'd also love to shower _with_ you but sorry babe, breakfast is on the line here so…”

Tsukki tries not to be intimidated by the idea of Kuroo and Tadashi chatting over tea. He sits up fully and grabs his glasses.

“Yeah, I’ll, uh, I’ll meet you out there,” he says. Despite feeling comfortable in his skin last night, the fact that he slept naked and is sitting naked in front of Kuroo now is starting to set his teeth on edge. “Save me a plate, just in case?”

“Hurry up!” Kuroo says, “Oh, and can I borrow some pajama pants? All I have are jeans. Or I could just go back out in my boxers…”

Tsukki doesn’t think that he’d be able to make it through breakfast with Kuroo in just his boxers.

“Bottom drawer,” he says, taking the opportunity of Kuroo’s turned back to grab his towel and throw it around his waist. He grabs a shirt and clean boxers before heading to the bathroom, steadfastly ignoring Yamaguchi’s raised eyebrows and thumbs up. He feels less tense with the door closed behind him, thankfully.

Kuroo rummages through Tsukki's drawer, trying to find something black but hoping to find something _naughty_. He finds dark red - close enough - and…the greatest most loved pajama pants in human existence. He puts the red pants on and sets the other ones out for Tsukki, then heads to the kitchen.

“Your timing is impeccable,” Yamaguchi says, placing Kuroo’s plate on the table with a bright smile. “I'm also very proud that you both behaved yourselves.”

It doesn’t take long for Tsukki to shower and change into his boxers and t shirt. He towels his hair until it’s dry enough and walks out of the bathroom. Yamaguchi offers him a bright, “good morning!” That he returns with a grunt, going in his room to deposit his towel. He sees the pajama pants on his bed and blushes, his ears turning pink. At least Kuroo wasn’t _wearing_ them or something. Still, he slips them on - they are his favorite, bright colors with dinosaur shapes - and goes out to sit at the table.

“You couldn’t find a shirt?” He asks Kuroo, grumpy.

Yamaguchi smiles, giving them both a mischievous look. “Oh, don’t put one on on my account,” he quips, digging into his eggs.

“That’s that,” Kuroo agrees, taking a bite himself, “besides, Yamaguchi isn't wearing one so I don't see why I should have to.”

Tsukki glares at both of them, although his look for Yamaguchi is markedly softer. “Tadashi doesn’t look _obscene_ ,” he grumbles, digging into his own food. He had a feeling that Kuroo’s teasing would rub off on Yamaguchi, and he doesn’t like that he was right.

Yamaguchi just smiles, giving Tsukki a look as if to say, “Whose fault is that?” But he doesn’t say out loud, knowing that he could very easily spook Tsukki into locking himself in his room.

Kuroo also smiles, and gives Tsukki the _exact same look_ that Yamaguchi did. He notices the words that purposefully went unspoken, and elects not to say them either.  

He thinks he can learn a lot about Tsukki from how they interact.

Tsukki focuses on eating, staying quiet and letting Yamaguchi talk about the reception. He’s glad that he seems to have come home after he and Kuroo finished. He’s not sure what he would do if Yamaguchi _heard_ them.

When Yamaguchi is done eating, he checks the time and sighs.

“Work is never done in wedding planning,” he says mournfully, getting up and putting his plate in the sink. “I’ll see you later tonight, Tsukki, and Kuroo, it was nice to finally meet you!” As he passes Tsukki he leans in one swift movement and plants a kiss on Tsukki’s cheek.

Tsukki just smiles, forgetting for a moment that Kuroo is there thanks to the familiar gesture. “Have a good day,” he says, his voice soft with sleep and fondness.

They continue breakfast in quiet. By the time Tsukki is done eating, Yamaguchi is walking out the door with a cheerful, “have fun~!”

Kuroo stares at Tsukki, floored.

“ _Oh.”_

Tsukki starts at the tone of Kuroo voice and looks at him warily. “What?” He asks, voice guarded.

“You two have known each other since you were kids, huh?” Kuroo asks.

Tsukki blinks. He hadn’t mentioned that. “Uh, yes. We’ve known each other since elementary school,” he says, unnerved by Kuroo’s question.

“Mmm. That kiss made it click for me,” he says, getting up and taking Tsukki’s plate. “I had a suspicion when we were talking last night, but I’ve seen a relationship like that before,” he turns on the water and washes the morning’s dishes, his back turned to Tsukki.

Tsukki watches him, taking a moment to admire his work on Kuroo’s back.

“Oh?” he asks absently, distracted.

“I have someone...and our relationship looks a lot like yours and Yamaguchi’s. We just don’t live together.”

“Oh,”  Tsukki says, curious. He is curious, but doesn’t press. If Kuroo wanted him to know more, he’d tell him. His tone does something to Tsukki though; it’s tender, soft, and it’s clear that whoever this person is, they’re _precious_ to Kuroo. Tsukki hadn’t considered that Kuroo has many walls, but he feels like seeing past some of them, rather than the other way around.

He wonders if Kuroo loves this person the way he loves Yamaguchi, if Kuroo worries about the day they move on like Tsukki worries about Yamaguchi moving on.

“Okay,” he says, keeping his voice neutral. He stands, stretching his arms over his head with a loud yawn and looks at Kuroo. “Leave the dishes, it’s cold out here.” He heads toward his room.

Kuroo places the last plate in the drying rack. He towels off his hands and catches up with Tsukki, putting his arms around the blond and running his fingers up his chest to his pert nipples. “I can tell,” he purrs.

Tsukki squawks, slapping at Kuroo’s hands until he’s released. “I'm probably cold because I slept n-naked!” He snaps, scurrying the rest of the way to his room.

“Oho? Have you never not once slept in the buff, _Tsukki_?” Kuroo says with a grin, steps broad and shoulders loose.

Tsukki sends a glare over his shoulder and flops into his bed. “Not all of us are nudists like _you_ , Kuroo,” he grumbles, even as Kuroo’s tone sends a shiver down his spine. He leaves enough room for the other man, but only just, and covers himself with his blanket, poking his head over the top with a smirk.

“What a shame that is” Kuroo slides in bed next to Tsukki, spooning him tight. “I wish I could look at your body as much as you pretend not to look at mine.”

Tsukki flushes, squirming against Kuroo a little. There's no point in him denying looking seen as how he’s already been caught. He thinks about his options for a few minutes. He could lie there and pretend to be asleep - except he doesn’t really want to go back to sleep _now_ \- he could put up a front, snark back at Kuroo, or he could be honest. Honesty seems to work best for him, despite the fact that it makes him feel vulnerable and disarmed. But being honest with _Kuroo_ , alone when there aren’t others to intrude, hasn’t felt _bad_ once. It’s all lead to good things.

"I don’t...like feeling exposed,” he murmurs after a deep breath.

Kuroo shrugs, “So practice it by yourself. Take time and get comfortable in your body. It’s not very hard...”

Tsukki bristles, glaring at the wall. “It’s not that easy for everyone you know,” he says, his voice hard. He doesn’t understand why Kuroo seems to think it’s easy.

"I understand being scared by me,” Kuroo says, “But why are you so scared of yourself?”

All at once the fight leaves Tsukki and he sighs, shrugging halfheartedly. "I don’t know. Do I need to have a reason?” That voice that sounds like Yamaguchi offers that he’d been so scared of pleasure for so long, what it meant about him and his sexuality, that it makes sense that knowing his body makes him nervous. It was always, get this done, don’t think about anything, and he would be fine. That didn’t allow for much _exploration._

“No. But maybe you’d be better off if you paid some attention to your body the way you pay attention to mine,” Kuroo muses, “Except, y’know. Maybe without the wicked bruising.”

For a second Tsukki thinks he fucked up, but he turns enough to give Kuroo a look and say, “You _like_ the bruising,” without any heat.

“It was a joke. I _love_ the bruising,” Kuroo confirms with enthusiasm.

His cheeks are pink as he looks at his work, and a vindictive part of him would love to see Oikawa’s face when he sees it.

"I wouldn’t even know where to start,” he confesses, turning back around to hide his face.

Kuroo caresses Tsukki’s hip, “When you don’t need to wear clothes, don’t wear them,” he says, “Touch yourself like you’d touch someone you want more than anything. Find someone to affirm your new positive thoughts.” He grins, voice turning seductive, “I volunteer~”

Tsukki snorts, but leans back into Kuroo. He thinks about his usual masturbation routine: dark room, door locked, eyes shut and hand working his dick too fast for him not to get off quickly. He sucks in a shaky breath and sits up, taking his shirt off in one move. The air in the room is cold against his skin and he shivers. He turns so that he’s facing Kuroo, his legs crossed in front of him and he lets out his breath.

“N-now what?”

Kuroo finds himself staring for one moment and then averts his eyes quickly, trying to think of _now what._ He wonders if Tsukki will ever listen to his advice about doing things _alone_ for the first time and not with him. _Touch yourself,_ is what he wants to say, but given the gentleness he needs to use with Tsukki until he’s truly comfortable…

“C’mere,” he says, propping himself up on the pillows and pulling Tsukki’s toward him by the waistband.

Tsukki frowns but situates himself so that he’s hovering, straddled, over Kuroo’s legs, his wrists resting on the older man’s impressive shoulders. His eyes are hooded, his cheeks red, and his breathing is shaky.

“N-now what?” he repeats.

“Breathe, for one,” Kuroo whispers. He takes Tsukki’s hand, kisses his palm, and then brings it to touch the blond’s own shaky shoulder. He presses it to his skin and it begins a soft, slow path to his hips.

Tsukki shivers, watching Kuroo guide his hand down. He feels like the path his hand has taken is burning. He sucks in a hard breath, holding it for a second before letting it out slowly. His fingers twitch against his hip, and his stomach swoops. His skin breaks out with goosebumps.

With Tsukki distracted by his own hand, Kuroo gets to really look at him. He continues to guide the blond’s hand around his body, hoping that Tsukki won’t notice his eyes drinking in the whole picture. Tsukki’s blush and tense posture is somehow impossibly alluring. He sees the goosebumps and guides Tsukki’s hand toward his now erect nipple, gently running the fingers across the sensitive nub.

Tsukki does notice Kuroo looking at him, which only adds to the heat and adrenaline racing through him. He has to close his eyes, but they fly open again when his fingers brush against his nipple.

“Ah- shit,” he gasps. His pants feel tighter, which is embarrassing. In the past it had taken him a lot longer to start to get hard, but that was probably because he had no inspiration to go off of. He bites his lips and starts to tease his own nipple, focusing on the streaks of pleasure that run through his body rather than thinking about how stupid he must look.

Kuroo masks his surprise at Tsukki taking this into his own hands so quickly. He takes Tsukki's other hand and threads his fingers through his own hair, grabbing a little, and then caresses across his neck down his jaw. Tuskki whines a little at the touch, turning his head into his own hand. He can feel the weight of Kuroo’s hand, he craves his touch, but the knowledge that Kuroo is touching him, _through_ Tsukki is exciting.

This touching but not touching is making Kuroo's skin sensitive, thirsty for attention. _Patience,_ he tells himself. It'll be better the longer he waits. His lips part slightly when he brings Tsukki's fingertips across his neck.

Feeling his own fingers against his neck makes Tsukki’s eyelids flutter shut again, his jaw dropping a little at just how _sensitive_ he is. His hips move slightly, on their own accord, and he trails his hand to his other nipple, a stuttered gasp piercing the quiet in the room.

Kuroo can’t help the shallow gasp when he feels Tsukki move on his own. His eyes flash to Tsukki’s groin, where his erection presses against his pants. Aroused himself, Kuroo becomes daring. He moves the hands that aren’t on Tsukki’s chest to slink lower, lower, to tease under the hem of Tsukki’s pants, eyeing him with smoldering caution.

Tsukki’s eyes open, and he stares down at Kuroo, but he doesn’t say anything. After a second he pushes his hips into their hands, slowly, cautiously, as he pinches at his nipple. He moans and the sound is explosive in the quiet of his room.

That moan is electricity overloading Kuroo’s senses, escaping through his vocal cords as a keen of his own. His hips grind up, pressing his impossibly hard cock against Tsukki. He moves their hands into Tsukki’s pants, bringing Tsukki’s hand to tease the tip of his cock.

Tsukki watches as his hand touches his own cock, impossibly gentle and good, but not enough. His hips lift into his own hand the same time he scratches a fingernail over his nipple and he whimpers, he back bowing as if he’s caving in on himself.

“Ah, ahhh, Te-tsurou,” he gasps, his eyes gripped shut. If he imagines hard enough, he can see himself doing this in his room, alone, his whole body tingling and electric.

“Kei, please,” Kuroo sghs, “Don’t stop…” He slowly, carefully, begins to lift his hands off of Tsukki’s.

Tsukki whines at the loss, his body rolling forward, chasing Kuroo’s hands. His own fingers wrap around the head of his cock, teasing with barely there touches, nothing like he would normally do. He grinds his hips down onto Kuroo’s leg as he takes his hand away from his nipple, only to suck his fingers into his mouth, getting them sloppy and wet. He moans around the digits, so lost in himself that he can’t begin to be embarrassed.

Kuroo’s eyes go dark, pupils swallowing slivers of tawny. He wonders which unholy deities he’s going to need to thank for this _obscene_ display before him. His hands come completely off of Tsukki’s and, _finally_ , to himself, to show Tsukki that what he’s doing isn’t weird or crazy; this is _exactly_ what Kuroo does when he alone.

Kuroo weaves his fingers through his own hair, back arching and hips twisting to finally have contact. One hand stays in his hair, the other gently caresses down his jaw, tilting his head up to expose his neck. He creeps slowly across his throat, arm crossing his body to get to his shoulder, and digs his fingers into the angriest bruise.  

Kuroo arches back, hissing and moaning in pain. Tsukki’s eyes fly open and he moans at the sight Kuroo makes. It doesn’t take him long to tighten his grip on his cock, thrusting his hips into his hand. It’s too dry for him to keep that pace for long, and he desperately switches hands, his spit making his hand a luscious, slick hole for him to fuck.

He leans into Kuroo and bats his hand away, biting the same bruise. He doesn’t bite hard; he doesn’t want to break the skin or actually _hurt_ Kuroo, but he wants to hear him. His dry hand grasps Kuroo’s neck for support and he whines.

“Tetsurou, it’s - fuck,” he gasps between hard breaths. He’s getting close, but he doesn’t want this to be over, he’s not ready for this to be over.

Kuroo screams, rough, and feels his boxers sticking to his cock for how wet he is. He takes Tsukki’s shoulders and pushes them back.

Tsukki jerks, keening when Kuroo pushes him back. “No, no, nonono, please,” he begs, leaning into Kuroo’s hands.

"I want that _so much_ ,” Kuroo says, eyes closed and trying to even his breathing, “but this is about you and _you,_ not me. Keep touching yourself,” he opens his eyes and fixes his heavy lidded gaze on Tsukki, swallows hard and begs, “ _Please.”_

Tsukki takes his hand off his cock, just barely, choking at the loss.

"I want- _please_ fuck me,” he says. He doesn’t sound like himself, all desperate and wanting, but he wants it so badly.

The room spins for a moment for Kuroo, and his arms give way to Tsukki’s resistance. He groans, long and wanting, weighing the options.

“You have to do it yourself first,” he finally says, hips grinding up into Tsukki.

Tsukki does his best to grind back into Kuroo, but it’s almost too much. He keeps his hips hovering over Kuroo’s as he tucks his face into Kuroo’s shoulder and nods.

“Just- tell- t-tell me how?” he asks, his voice shaking and quiet.

“You look and feel sexy, that’s step one,” Kuroo says, eyes pinched shut and voice straining. He weaves his fingers through Tsukki’s hair and grabs like it’s the only thing keeping him on this earth. "I messed up last night - your first time touching yourself there you don’t use lube at first. You just showered so you can just - hnnn - reach back and...touch your ass. Let - let your body get used to it. Don’t…go in.”

Tsukki gasps at the hold Kuroo has on his hair. Nodding makes the little shocks of pain stronger and his hips buck on their own. He reaches back and pulls at his pants and boxers, pulling them down so that his thighs are trapped and groans, realizing that if he wants to do this he’s going to have to get off of Kuroo.

“H-hold on,” he says, gently pulling Kuroo’s hand out of his hair so that he can stumble out of bed and kick his pants off desperately. “Yours-- _off_ ” he croaks, tugging at Kuroo’s waistband.

Kuroo obliges lightning fast. Seeing Tsukki stand, posture _confident_ and not hiding, makes his cock twitch, now visible without pants on. His eyes follow his tight body from the top down, despite his being in a hurry, watching Tsukki’s muscles flex is quite the show, his arms, his chest, his abs, his thighs - _oh_. A pale, circular bruise with a clearly defined edge is on the inside of Tsukki’s thigh. The last time they’d had sex was weeks ago, so-

Realization hits Kuroo, and the hunger from it _devours_ him.  He stretches his arms out to Tsukki.

“Come back, kiss me...”

Tsukki’s not going to argue. He goes back to straddling Kuroo, high enough that their position mirrors Kuroo riding him last night. He can feel Kuroo’s cock resting in the cleft of his ass and he moans, rocking back into it as he kisses the older man. He reaches back with one arm, wriggling his middle finger between his cheeks until he presses against his hole, gasping into Kuroo’s mouth.

“ _Yes,”_ Kuroo gasps, voice jagged, against Tsukki’s mouth, “just like that. Do it until it’s like there’s nothing there...Kei you’re so good, you’re doing so _good_ ,” He places his hands on Tsukki’s hips, feeling the motion of Tsukki against his cock.

The praise hits Tsukki harder than he would have imagined and he’s lost in kissing Kuroo. His free hand rests on the back of Kuroo’s neck, holding him close and pressing on the bruises he left there. He rocks his hips, keeping his finger pressed against himself with steady pressure. To his surprise, he can feel himself relaxing, forgetting that it’s there between his cock rubbing slowly, softly, on Kuroo’s stomach and Kuroo’s kisses.

_I’m paying for earlier,_ Kuroo thinks, _this is my penance for looking for so long._ He can hardly think. Tsukki on him, everything about him, touching himself, touching Kuroo, kissing him, everything. It takes all of his will to pierce through the fog and give instructions.

“When that’s - when that’s comfortable...lube your fingers up...and-” Kuroo chokes, cut off by Tsukki’s hand on his bruises. He wonders if Tsukki can feel all the pre-cum dripping steadily from his cock, “press in…”

Tsukki really should have thought about this beforehand. It takes him a minute to remember where Kuroo had even tossed the lube the night before, and he groans, because _again_ , he has to _get up_. Scrambles and looks around hopefully at his bedside table, but the bottle isn’t there. Crouching, he peeks under his bed, and sure enough, there it is.

“Fucking dammit,” he grumbles, replacing himself on Kuroo’s hips.

He pours the lube on his fingers and works it for a few seconds, warming it so that touching his hole won’t be a rude shock. He presses one hand on the pillows next to Kuroo’s head and reaches back with the other, again just touching his hole. He breathes in and out and looks at Kuroo’s face, so open and desperate, before slowly, _slowly_ pressing the tip of his finger inside of himself.

“Ahhhh, shit,” he breathes. It doesn’t feel like last night. It’s still alien, but there isn’t the same pain or clenching.

“Moan for me, Kei” Kuroo whines, kissing the pale, delicate flesh of Tsukki's defined forearm, “you sound so fucking _hot,_ I _need_ you to…”

Tsukki chokes as he presses his finger further in. His eyes close and he grits his teeth, getting used to the feeling. It’s not terrible it’s just “Weird, Tetsurou - ah! It’s w-weird.” His hand in the pillow clenches around the fabric and he lets out a weak moan through his concentration.

“Only at first,” Kuroo says breathily, and moves one hand from Tsukki's hip to his chest, teasing his nipple since Tsukki's other hand is busy holding himself up. “Don’t move it, just keep it there…”

Tsukki gasps, leaning his chest into Kuroo's hand with a louder moan. He nods, keeping his finger in him, although the relative “down time” is giving his brain the chance to catch up, which isn't good. He bites back a frustrated whine and tries to press his finger in more; he’s probably going too fast but it’s better than freezing up.

“Wish this was - you,” he gasps, closing his eyes and hanging his head.

“Then lay down,” Kuroo says, voice thick and straining, pushing his hand against Tsukki’s ribcage.

Tsukki pulls his finger out, wincing because that is _not_ a pleasant feeling, and rolls so that he’s lying next to Kuroo on his back. He glances over at Kuroo, and curses because he immediately wants to put his hands all over him, but his _hand_ was _just_...

“Shit, grab me a towelette,” he says, his voice impatient.

Kuroo, with the kind of swift grace that only comes with practice, secures the lube, positions himself between Tsukki’s legs, shoves the towelette into his hand, and kisses him wildly in what seems like one motion. Tsukki barely has time to react between cleaning off his hand and kissing Kuroo back. Kuroo pulls back and trails his tongue down the blond’s body, just barely touching the head of his cock in the process. He slicks his hand up with lube and, for the second time, presses a single digit into Tsukki.

“O- _oh_ ,” Tsukki sputters, his body curling up into Kuroo’s. That definitely feels better. It’s still not _great_ but he thinks that he could understand the appeal with some more time.

_Well, he’s not fighting it like yesterday,_ Kuroo thinks, and slowly, gently begins to thrust in and out of Tsukki.

Tsukki pulls Kuroo down so that he can kiss him, needing to be covered. The longer Kuroo’s working down there, the better it starts to feel, and it’s not terribly long before his hips are working back on Kuroo’s hand gently. To be perfectly honest, it’s not his favorite thing they’ve done, but it’s new, and it’s good.

_“Fuck_ , Kei, your _hips,_ ” Kuroo gasps into Tsukki’s mouth, “so good, so _hot_ …” he can feel his pulse in his cock, he can’t remember the last time he was this impossibly tense. He thrusts a little harder for a moment, and then leans into Tsukki’s ear, “Wanna try two?”

Tsukki shudders at the thought, but that’s the whole point of this, right? He nods, grabbing at the back of Kuroo’s hair with one hand and tugging. “G-give it to me,” he says quietly.

Kuroo nods, thinking that he would give this man the _world_ if he asked for it just like that. Thankfully he saw this coming and his fingers should be slick enough. He kisses Tsukki, all tongue and moaning, and slowly, gently begins to press in the second finger, whispering, “it’s gonna hurt…” as he slides in.

Tsukki braces himself, his shoulders getting tense as he tries to breathe through the burning stretch. Noticing the pain on Tsukki’s face, Kuroo presses his thumb into that bruise on Tsukki’s thigh, mixing new pain with the old, comforting sensation.

“ _Embrace it,”_ he purrs, and Tsukki arches back, sucking in a broken gasp. He bites his lip, swallowing down his scream at the blended sensations, the burning sharp pain and the dull ache mixing and sending hot pleasure to the base of his spine.

“Don’t h-hold it back,” Kuroo barks, dizzy for how _tight_ Tsukki is around his fingers, “if you’re screaming you’re _breathing_ and I - get o-off on s-sounds you make...so _please..._ ”

Tsukki closes his eyes, his hands moving to claw at Kuroo’s shoulders. Kuroo’s broken voice, it’s different than the last times he tried to get Tsukki to let go and be loud. “I- I- ah! Fuck, Te-” Tsukki moans, clenching around Kuroo’s fingers one second before forcing himself to relax. “‘t’hurts,” he whines, eyes pinched shut and shoulders shaking. It hurts but he doesn’t want it to stop, he wants it to turn into pleasure. He can do this. He doesn’t hold back quite as much with his sounds, choked gasps and moans coming out of him every few seconds.

Kuroo’s shoulders flex with the effort of his breath, trembling that Tsukki finally listened to him, loosened around him.

“I know, babe,” he whispers against Tsukki’s cheek, “...so good…”

He presses his thumb into the bruise on Tsukki’s thigh, the one from weeks ago, the one he knows that Tsukki’s been nursing purposely, and begins to slowly move his fingers in and out of his ass.

Tsukki screams, his hips jerking and nails clawing into Kuroo’s shoulders. Kuroo’s thumb on his bruise makes him shake all over with pleasure, the memory of long nights masturbating and pressing the mark washing over him. He tries not to clench his ass, but he can’t help it, and that pain makes tears come to his eyes. Just seconds ago he was starting to adjust, the stretch smoothing into a dull ache, and after the new pulse of pain goes through him he welcomes the dullness back.

Kuroo barely recognizes himself for the response that wracks his body. _So badly_ he wants it to be his cock in Tsukki.

_Patience._

But patience and all, he can’t last like this, so he decides to up the ante. He lifts just slightly off of Tsukki, still covering him but not giving a shit whether he notices Kuroo’s lecherous gaze fixed on his face.

On the next thrust in, Kuroo curls his long, skilled, practiced fingers _up._

“ _SHIT_!” Tsukki yells, because all of a sudden, sparks are going everywhere. He can’t remember a time when he’s felt that much pleasure. He can’t see Kuroo looking at him because his vision is white, and then his eyes close, less tightly than before. His shoulders release and then tense back up and one of his hands scratches down Kuroo’s arm, grabbing onto his forearm like a lifeline.

“ _There,”_ Kuroo breathes, not taking his eyes off of Tsukki’s face.

He imagines they both look the same right now, faces flushed, shoulders tense, thighs tight. He grits his teeth, grabs Tsukki’s thigh, and begins to _fuck_ him, thrusts commanding and hitting his prostate each time.  

Tsukki’s voice rips out of him each time Kuroo touches his prostate. He distantly wonders if he’s going to die, if people can die from too much pleasure. He can’t be sure, but he thinks he might be yelling Kuroo’s name. How did he not know this exists? He moves his hips back, following Kuroo’s rhythm as much as he can manage, which is to say abysmally.

"I c-can’t- Ke-i” Kuroo chokes, "I can’t, I - _f-uck-”_ his rhythm stutters for a moment as he climaxes, come streaking across Tsukki’s groin, his voice devolving into fast pants and desperate moans. Despite his orgasm pulsing through him, he continues to fuck Tsukki, fingers hitting his sweet spot with enthusiasm.  

Tsukki only has the chance to stare down at the mess Kuroo has made of him for a second before he’s getting fucked out of his _mind_ . Each hit to his prostate has his orgasm building, faster than he could imagine, and he reaches down, jerking himself once, twice, and he’s screaming as his orgasm rolls over him. His hips thrust up once before they are reduced to just twitching, and _god_ , “w-wh-at- was th-at?” He croaks, staring up at Kuroo with wide eyes.

“Which?” Kuroo pants, exhausted. “Me coming untouched, or your prostate?”

Tsukki lifts his hands as if to say “either!” Because he’s not sure he can speak right now with how hard his breathing is. His chest is heaving and his whole body is shaking. His hands don’t stay off of Kuroo for long; as soon as he has some breath back he pulls the man down for a long, soft kiss that borders on lazy. He feels like every muscle in his body is loose, but also tight. It’s amazing.

Orgasmic Tsukki is already Kuroo's favorite, but _this_ is incredible. He kisses Tsukki back, resting more of his weight on him.

“Well, the brain is the most important sex organ,” Kuroo says against Tsukki's mouth. The blond hums agreement slowly. He pulls back, awestruck, “and are you asking me _what your prostate is_?”

Tsukki sputters, “N-no! I know what it _is_ ,” indignantly. He shoves at Kuroo, just enough to communicate a ‘shut up!’ But he turns his face away and softly mutters “I didn't know it could do _that_ …”

_“Yes_ ,” Kuroo says, as if it's obvious. He rides the momentum from Tsukki’s shove and backs away, ignoring Tsukki’s wince as he pulls out in the process. He grabs a towelette, wipes his hand, and lays on his back next to Tsukki. He arches slightly and a small moan escapes him. “It does that. Didn't you see what it did to me both times you fucked me?”

Tsukki huffs and doesn’t say anything, instead grabbing his own towelette to wipe Kuroo’s come off of his stomach. If he wanted to go back to bed _before_ , he certainly wants to back to bed after that. Tossing the towelette in his trashcan, he goes to grab his boxers, sliding them on. His ass throbs slightly and he winces, wondering if that’s going to happen every time. “It’s different seeing it and having it done to you,” he says, defensive. Despite his frown, he lays back down next to Kuroo and pulls up his blanket, covering himself and Kuroo in one move.

Kuroo weaves his arm under Tsukki and pulls him onto his side, to rest his head on Kuroo's shoulder.

“Don’t be upset, I'm not making fun,” Kuroo soothes. “I'm happy for you. And sort of… honored? I've never been someone’s first prostate experience,” he kisses the top of Tsukki's head, touches his hand. “And...the touching, before was…mmm.”

Tsukki isn’t sure what he’s supposed to do with that. He’s never seen Kuroo...sweet? This doesn’t feel like the last times Kuroo had tried to soothe him when he was embarrassed. It reminds him of Yamaguchi. “Well...you’re welcome then,” he says, eyes drifting shut. He sighs and mumbles “does sex always make people so sleepy?” To himself.

“Only if it's good,” Kuroo coos. _Shit._ He focuses on evening his breathing, on calming the erection beginning to tent the blanket. He'd told Tsukki sex doesn't end with orgasm and it certainly doesn't end with this kind of orgasm. But Tsukki is so sleepy, and his grasp on sex is…in its formative stages _._ He closes his eyes, “...That was me being silly. Orgasm makes you sleepy if you let it… chemicals in your brain bla bla.”

Tsukki nods against his chest. He can’t quite bring himself to care, but he opens his eyes to tell Kuroo what an expert he sounds like and sees the other man’s erection. “I-I thought you finished,” he mumbles, his brain still trying to shut off.

“I told you, don't think of orgasm as a ‘finish’” Kuroo chides. He brings one knee up so it's not _obvious_. “You’re done so we’re done. Don't worry about that.”

Tsukki makes a small sound of protest even as his eyelids flutter closed. He says “I’ll make it up to you later,” but if he was more awake he’d realize just how out of it he _is_ , because the words come out sounding more like “‘llmakupla’er”.

“I’ll hold you to it, babe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and for the subscriptions, bookmarks, kudos, and feedback! You're great! (shout at us more omg)


	4. August

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “A good time for what? You calling me and asking weird, invasive questions?” Tsukki says defensively, glaring at the table in front of him. So much for his relaxing evening.  
> “Weird? Invasive?” Kuroo says, affronted. “I have had my cock in your mouth and my fingers in your ass but phone sex is the invasive thing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh! Another chapter up! We really hope you like this one. It's a little less EMOTIONS and more on the PWP side of things, but don't worry, those emotions won't be gone for long!
> 
> Still giving huge thanks to becauseISaidSo for being an amazing and patient beta! If you like WolfStar aus, check her stuff out!

Work has been more hellish than usual. Tsukki wants to find and strangle the person who set up deadlines so that the editors department has to start pulling late nights, if not all nighters. For the first time in a week he finally has an evening to himself, and he plans on doing absolutely _nothing_. Tadashi is visiting his parents, which sucks, but Tsukki can just sit on the couch and eat junk while watching TV tonight.

The first thing he does is take of his shoes, then his damn pants, when he walks through the door, wasting no time in getting some snacks and a beer and going to the couch. Sitting on something _besides_ his work chair is refreshing and a satisfied sigh escapes him.

Not two full minutes into his show and beer, Tsukki’s phone rings. “This had better not be Iwaizumi,” he mumbles. He picks it up without looking at the caller ID and puts fake cheer in his voice when he says “Hello?”

“Hey there, sexy. What are you wearing?”

Tsukki chokes on his beer and sits up, coughing. “Kuroo? What the hell?” He asks once he's stopped coughing.

“Do I need to come over there and perform mouth to mouth?” Kuroo says suggestively, then pauses. “Is this not a good time?”

“A good time for what? You calling me and asking weird, invasive questions?” Tsukki says defensively, glaring at the table in front of him. So much for his _relaxing_ evening.

“Weird? Invasive?” Kuroo says, affronted. “I have had my cock in your mouth and my fingers in your ass but _phone sex_ is the invasive thing?”

Tsukki should really just dump the rest of his beer considering Kuroo has now made him choke twice in the last minute. “What?” He gasps weakly, his cheeks burning even though his dick gives an interested twitch in his boxers.

“When someone calls you and asks you what you're wearing _saucily_ they are trying to engage you in a phone call of an illicit nature,” Kuroo explains, and Tsukki can _hear_ the eye roll and and he can’t help but scoff at Kuroo’s tone.

“I know what phone sex _is_ ,” he snarls, pushing his glasses on top of his head to rub his eyes as he slumps back into the couch. “I’m just trying to figure out why you think phone sex is something I would be _good at_.”

“Look, if the idea doesn’t make you hot then I’m not into it,” Kuroo offers, “I just...keep thinking about last time, how great you looked pleasuring yourself I thought it would be nice to... _share._ ”

Tsukki swallows hard when Kuroo mentions last time. That had been... _amazing_. “...Share what exactly?” He asks, sincerely interested.

“How I keep getting off on thinking of what happened,” Kuroo muses, then his breath skips, “...and may currently be all lubed up and going at it...but...I wanted to hear your _voice._ ”

Tsukki has to cover his mouth, his breath coming quicker. “A-are you - god, what are you doing?” He asks, his voice coming out a little too moany for his liking. His dick is definitely interested now, imagining Kuroo stroking himself long and slow.

“I'm laying in bed, got my dick in my hand…” Kuroo describes, “thinking about you on top of me, touching yourself.”

Tsukki whines into his hand. The image is vivid enough that he has to close his eyes. “I- oh,” he says quietly. He lets his free hand trail down to one of the bruises he's been nursing on his thigh. “How long have you been - you know,” he finishes weakly. _Is there a sexy way to say ‘jerking off’?_

“Masturbating to the thought of you?” Kuroo finishes, like it’s the most casual thing to say in the world. “Not _too_ long. I’ve actually...been thinking of calling you all week. But it added to the tease to resist.”

Tsukki feels his ears get hot and he makes a strangled noise at the thought of Kuroo calling him _at work_.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” he says, honestly, but adds, “I’ve been working late this week,” before the other man can get the wrong idea. He settles back into the couch more and keeps his hand on his thigh, brushing his fingers against the inside of it and pressing them into the few bruises Kuroo left there last time. It’s unfortunate, because they’re fading faster since Tsukki hasn’t had the free time to press into them and make them stay.

“Mmm, I’d love to be there and work all the tension out of your body,” Kuroo purrs, “kissing you, working my way down...using my hands to touch you gently and massage the tightness from your muscles…”

Tsukki swallows a moan and tilts his head back on the couch, letting Kuroo’s words wash over him. Maybe it’s because he’s so exhausted, or maybe it’s because the other man can’t see his shaking hands and red cheeks, but he’s not feeling as frazzled as usual.

“That- that would be good,” he says softly, biting his lip at the thought. His hand slips into his boxers, and his fingers just brush against his cock. His breath catches, he hasn’t even had time to jerk off in the shower, barely coming home for a few hours of sleep before going back.

“So...what’re you wearing?” he makes himself ask, knowing Kuroo the answer is going to be “nothing”, but this is how phone sex works, right?

“Pants, if you can believe it,” Kuroo replies, a lilt of smiling to his voice before it fades to desire. “C _an you guess why?”_

If he’s honest with himself, Tsukki is surprised. “You’re giving up your nudist ways?” Tsukki snarks. He wraps his fingers around his base and strokes himself once, and a sigh escapes him.

There’s a soft, barely-there moan on the other line. “It took us for _ever_ to get undressed, remember? You were so gorgeous, I couldn’t even mind....”

“I- mmm,” Tsukki swallows his sentence and moans instead. Kuroo calling him gorgeous twists his insides, but only part of it feels not right. He doesn’t argue, knows Kuroo will just get frustrated if he does, and bites out, “So, what, you just closed the door and whipped out your dick?” with a small laugh, because that description fits Kuroo so well.

 _“No,”_ Kuroo quips, “when I masturbate I am my own sexual partner. I came home and showered and made a decent meal, relaxed for a bit and _then_ whipped out my dick.”

Tsukki can’t help but laugh because that description is so spot on that he can see it in his mind. “Such a gentleman,” he retorts. He can feel some of his tension leaving his shoulders and he sighs. “I was tired enough to just come home and take of my pants before collapsing on my couch,” he admits after a moment.

The smile in Kuroos voice is evident. “But you took your pants off~”

Tsukki frowns at the tease, but he keeps stroking his cock slowly. He tries to imagine Kuroo laying on his bed, his legs just a little open, and his pants only pulled down far enough for him to get to his erection. “Yes, I did,” he says between breaths that are getting faster.

Masturbating slowly does something completely different to him than jerking off hard and fast. he usually feels more sensitive if he hasn’t had the chance to masturbate in a while, but touching himself gently, slowly, seems to make that sensitivity soar. “I don’t - stay in my work clothes all the time,” he reminds Kuroo, who has seen him in casual clothes - and naked - enough to know that.

“Well, yeah, but I come home and take off clothes and don't put them back on,” Kuroo states. “You're both not wearing pants _and_ on the couch. No intent of redressing there.”

“True,” Tsukki admits. He’s not sure if this is how phone sex conversations usually go, but he must be desperate because just hearing Kuroo’s voice is making it easy for him to thumb over his head and use his precome to help along the process. “How’re your bruises?” Tsukki asks. He’s almost surprised at himself for asking, but he hasn’t had the chance to even see Kuroo, and he wants to know how long bruises that dark can last. He moans as he imagines having dark bruises like that all over his thighs.

There's a sharp hiss from the receiver. “They're…ngh...still there. It doesn't hurt to move my neck anymore but I can still…”

Kuroo’s hiss sends a shiver down Tsukki’s spine.

“Do you- would it hurt t-to walk? With bruises like that on - your thighs?” Tsukki asks before he can think better of the question.

“Oho? Would you _want_ it to? _”_

Tsukki flushes and slinks down so that he can’t be seen from behind the couch. Not that there’s anyone there to see him gasp and his thighs jerk at the thought of Kuroo leaving them covered in dark red and purple marks. “I-it’s something - maybe,” he admits, his voice soft and embarrassed. Phone sex has it’s upsides, but non-verbal communication isn’t one of them, dammit.

Kuroo moans softly and says, “Its so sexy when you admit what you want. I can hear your blush. Makes me so hot for you, babe.”

That only makes Tsukki’s cheeks burn hotter. He whines, and, dammit all, he needs both of his hands. He tucks his phone between his ear and his shoulder and uses his newly free hand to push up his shirt. He has to wriggle a little to get it up under his armpits, but once he does he starts presses his fingers into his right nipple, wishing they were Kuroo’s mouth.

“Te-tell me- what- it do- ah! - does to you,” he says, whimpering as he scratches his nails over the stiffened nub.

“Makes me want to tear you apart,” Kuroo sounds ravenous, “and give you anything you want.”

Tsukki isn’t sure which of those sounds more appealing, but Kuroo’s tone makes him arch up, as he starts fucking his hand. “Ah- fuck!” he cries, biting his lip. “W-want you- to mark me up,” he whines, starting to tease his other nipple, “My bruises- mm - they’re basically gone.” He looks down at his thighs mournfully. There are only a couple of scattered yellow spots dotting the pale flesh.

“How _sad,”_ Kuroo laments, “I know how you like to-” his voice catches, melts into a moan, “but now I can put them all _back_. I can almost feel it, Kei…your muscles under my teeth… ”

The muscles in his thighs spasm under Tsukki's fingers and his breath catches. “Y-yeah, please,” he moans. He reaches down and starts to pinch one of those faded marks. There's barely a tingle and he bites off his frustrated whine.

“Want to feel them- for _days_ ,” he says. “I- all over my legs, my _chest_.”

“Fuck…” Kuroo growls, “are you… are you touching your chest n-now?”

Tsukki whines, high in his throat, and brings his hand back up to his nipple. His fingers tease and pinch the nub, heat coursing down to pool in his stomach. “Y-yeah, fuckfuckfuck, wish it was you,” he moans, pulling and pinching at his nipple.

“You have such sensitive nipples,” Kuroo says, “...wanna bite and suck them until you can't handle it anymore…”

Tsukki whimpers at the thought and gives a particularly hard pinch. The small scream Tsukki lets out sends heat straight to his cock, sending precome down his own fingers.

“B-bruise them- ah, fuck - until you c-can see the marks th-through my shirts,” he gasps out, his breathing hard in his chest. he’s surprised at himself, but, Kuroo just _does something_ to him. The older man makes him want to crumble to dust and push his own limits.

“ _Fffffuck_.” Kuroo bites out. Something sounds wet and his breathing quickens.

“Ah - are you-” Tsukki can’t finish his question, his hand finally, _finally_ , starting to work his cock fast. He tries to keep his grip looser than he normally would. Kuroo’s voice and the few wet sounds he can hear are enough.

“Mm- you should- in me,” Tsukki gasps out, working himself faster. He can feel his orgasm starting to build, but he’s not ready. He doesn’t want this to be over yet. He takes his hand away and chokes on his scream. His shoulders jerk and he can hear his cheek pressing random buttons, but he’s too relieved that he didn’t just ruin his own orgasm to care. He takes a breath, then another, before resuming the gentle touches to his painfully hard cock.

“I should…be…in you? I want it _so bad_ , Kei I-”

Tsukki whines, his dick is throbbing in his hand, he think’s he’ll only be able to edge himself once tonight. It’s miraculous that he managed to do it _once_ with how intense everything is feeling. “I- nngh...c-co-” he bites back his sentence, his grip hard around his cock and legs spasming at the very _thought_. He’s sure that Kuroo would take care of him - help him clean himself after in his ridiculously amazing shower.

“C-come,” he whispers, just as his orgasm crashes over him, “i-in me,” he finishes between keens and gasps.

The other line is all fast panting and slick sounds, a gasp, then fast breathing.

“ _What the fuck,”_ Kuroo huffs with a distinct edge of desperation at Tsukki’s obscenity, as if he can’t believe that came out of Tsukki’s mouth.

Tsukki is staring at his hand, a little dazed, when he hears what he thinks is Kuroo coming. The other man’s tone makes him jump, makes his insides squirm with regret; he shouldn’t have said anything. He gets up off the couch, careful not to touch anything with his gross hand, and walks to the bathroom.

“I- nothing,” he says, hoping that for _once_ the other man will leave it. He doesn’t look at himself in the mirror when he washes his hands and wets a washcloth to wash the rest of him quickly. Tossing the cloth in the bathroom hamper, he tucks himself back in and goes to his room, lying on his side and waiting for Kuroo to speak with bated breath.

“ _Nothing_ nothing! There is…NO way you haven't had phone sex before,” Kuroo says, voice airy and satisfied. There's a _whump_ sound, Tsukki imagines him falling back onto pillows. “that was so _hot_ …”

Tsukki finds himself smiling despite the embarrassment creeping through his chest. “Maybe you’re just e-easy,” he says without his usual amount of scorn. The knot that was starting in his throat loosens somewhat as he clears it.

“No, it's you,” Kuroo says, “you telling me what you want. And for that to be coming in-” he swallows, “c-coming in...side you...that's…I…I would have never guessed you would…”

Tsukki clears his throat again and closes his eyes. “W-well, we don’t- you don’t have to, I-” he stops as the realization that Kuroo seems genuinely taken off guard sinks in. He wriggles under his blankets, suddenly filled with a burst of energy because Kuroo sounds... _nervous_? He ducks his head under his blanket, somewhat soothed by the heat beneath the fabric and bites his lips.

“Y-yeah, I’ve-I’ve thought about it...a lot,” he admits quietly.

“ _Good,_ ” Kuroo purrs. “So have I. And _more_ …”

Tsukki shudders, feeling the fluttery warmth of his recent orgasm start to creep back up on him.

“What’s the _more?_ ” he asks, his voice low, soft, _maybe happy?_

“Hmmm…I don't think I feel slutty enough to divulge dark fantasies to you at the moment…you were so _filthy_ just now, I’m a little intimidated~”

Tsukki is...about half sure that Kuroo is teasing him. It’s harder to tell without seeing the other man’s face. He makes a disappointed noise and says, “I don’t think I would have ever described you as ‘not slutty enough’ for anything, but, I won’t pressure you if you don’t want to tell me.” He hopes that he’s playing his cards right.

There's a bit of silence on the other line.

“I wouldn't mind…helping you… clean that up…” he whispers, “...with my tongue…”

Just like that Tsukki feels like the rug has been pulled out from under him. His dick twitches - _how?!_ \- in his boxers and he has to close his eyes because _wow_ that is overwhelming. He doesn’t manage to stop the whine that sounds, high and rough in his throat.

“ _Oh_ ,” he says, because he hadn’t even considered _that_.

“...Yes? No?” Kuroo checks.

Tsukki rolls so that he can press his burning face into his pillow and chokes out a muffled “ _Yes._ ”

“Mmmmm, good,” Kuroo sounds pleased, “I know what I'll think about next time.”

Tsukki can’t believe this is how the night has gone. So much better than sitting on the couch and eating junk. After a second reaches to his nightstand for his laptop and opens a private browser. “I- uh- yeah,” he says, somewhat distracted by his new mission, but also not sure what else he _can say_ to that. He clicks his way to a familiar site, one that he’s looked at plenty since starting this with Kuroo, and starts to type in his payment information.

“Well I'll let you finish relaxing,” Kuroo sighs contentedly. “Let me know when's a good time this week?”

“Yeah, I’ll- I’ll text you,” Tsukki says, his fingers shaking as he presses ‘place order’.  “I’m probably going to sleep, so, I’ll talk to you later?”

Kuroo hums and hangs up, leaving Tsukki to close his computer and roll over onto his stomach. He could try to sleep, except there’s no way he’s going to be able to sleep well _now_. He feels keyed up, daring, wants to ask Kuroo to come over, but he’ll be patient.

He’ll wait.


	5. September

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He takes several deep breaths, willing his erection away only half-successfully. He suddenly is unable to think of anything not sexy, anything but Tsukki who, just four months ago couldn’t admit he was gay and is now fucking himself and moaning like a porn star just for Kuroo.
> 
> Kuroo: I’m off at midnight. Leave your door unlocked for me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, I (sydmicky) can't even think of what I could say to summarize my feelings about this chapter. We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Seriously, I can't thank becauseISaidSo enough for her help beta-ing this monster of a fic. Check out her stuff if you like funny, fluffy WolfStar and James/Lily fics!

The bar is the perfect blend of dead and busy.  Hinata called off, so when Bokuto calls Kuroo up, of course he agrees to fill in. They probably would have been fine with one bartender, but they both get better tips together, so it’s worth it.

Everyone at the bar is served, and Bokuto is making eyes at his drop-dead sexy boyfriend, so Kuroo takes a minute to look at his phone. Several message notifications await him: Tooru, Noya, Daichi and…a multimedia message from Tsukki.

\---

Not five minutes earlier, Tsukki was taking a swig of his beer, letting the alcohol make him even warmer, and adjusting himself where he’s straddling the side of his and Yamaguchi’s bathtub. 

The dildo is his ass makes him feel full and luscious, and that’s not counting the work up to getting the bright red dick inside of him. He’s probably been masturbating - or at the very least touching himself in some way - for close to an hour, and he feels almost as good as he does when he’s with Kuroo. 

Thinking of the other man makes his hips jerk and he slumps forward to support his weight as he starts to fuck himself again. How the fuck has he been living without this? He picks up his phone to ask Kuroo why he’s been hiding this from Tsukki - to say the blond isn’t thinking quite straight after three beers would be an understatement - when he opens his camera instead. His hands are surprisingly steady as he holds his phone up and takes the picture. He sends it to Kuroo before he can stop himself or think about it.

“Sssshhiiit,” he whines, angling himself and thinking about Kuroo’s face when he gets the message. Hopefully it’s soon - Tsukki really wants to come.

\---

Kuroo feels like he can’t breathe. He feels redness creep into his cheeks. Of all the things to get from Tsukki,  _ this _ was certainly not what he expected. He takes a deep breath and exhales, schooling his expression. 

Tsukki looks….incredible. He’s biting his lip and his eyes are half closed. His chest is visible, but nothing else. It’s obvious he’s been handling himself from the amount of red marks and scratches on his skin. Kuroo knew about Tsukki’s penchant for refreshing bruises but had no idea he would go so far as to mark  _ himself.  _

**Kuroo:** Oho~ look at you. What’s going on that I can’t see?

\---

His phone buzzes loudly in his hand and he opens Kuroo’s text, whining as his rhythm stutters to an almost stop. He’s barely touched his cock, but he does now, brushing his hand gently across the shaft. Even the barely there contact makes him moan. He takes another picture, this one from a slightly higher angle, enough that Kuroo can see that he’s straddling his bathtub’s edge, but not his junk. His mouth is open on a moan this time, his leaning forward causing the dildo to press against his prostate.

He presses send and pants into the quiet bathroom as he starts his rhythm up again.

\---

Kuroo immediately opens the message from Tsukki. He can nearly  _ hear _ the moan coming from his open mouth. He’s in...the bathroom? Yamaguchi must not be home, then… He can see most of Tsukki’s faint happy trail, but his cock is sadly not in the photo. 

_ Good, _ Kuroo thinks,  _ That might kill me.  _

But wait, Tsukki usually does this stuff in bed, so why is he in the bathroom? The one time they had phone sex was an exception, but…the edge of the tub seems like a weird place to- 

Kuroo’s eyes widen. He glances up - Bokuto is now chatting up the lesbian regulars at the far end of the bar. He opens a new message. He rewrites it several times before hitting send.

**Kuroo:** Fuck, I want to watch you get off...I’m at work or I’d be going at it myself thinking of you…

\---

Tsukki whines when he see’s Kuroo’s message. He feels hot all over, and, god,  _ god _ . Of course Kuroo is at work. Tsukki makes himself stop, makes himself slow the fuck down, and types clumsily with one hand.

**Tsukkishima:** please want you

**Kuroo:** Want you too. Show me more?

Tsukki flushes and reaches to take another long pull of his beer. He can do this. He can totally do this. 

This time he leans back, holding himself up with one arm and taking the picture so that Kuroo can see….everything. He has to press send fast, before he starts to think about it. Looking down, the red base of his dildo is so  _ bright _ against the bathtub and his skin.

_ \--- _

_ Fuck. _ __   
__   
“Going on break, be back in 15,” Kuroo shouts to Bokuto, and flees to the back. He goes outside, gets some fresh air. He looks at the image again. Tsukki one, owns a suction cup dildo, and two, is riding it on the edge of his bathtub and three, will be responsible for Kuroo’s undoing.

Kuroo opens the camera app on his phone. He leans back against the bricks and snaps a photo mid-whine into the night air, and attaches it.

**Kuroo:** You turned me on so much that I had to go outside. I need to see you, to hear you, please...come to me.

\---

Fuck fuck fuck that picture is going to ruin him. Kuroo’s throat, his  _ mouth _ . Tsukki whines and starts fucking himself faster. He’s not sure what Kuroo means by come to him, he’s definitely not leaving his apartment any time soon, but he does the next best thing and switches his camera to video mode.

“T-Tetsurou,” he gasps, glancing briefly at the camera before he has to close his eyes. He can’t believe he’s doing this, but it also makes him so  _ hot _ . “W-want you, please,” he says, his voice shaking and desperate. He presses send and isn’t sure how much longer he’ll be able to last.

\---

Kuroo doesn’t even know what to do with that. Tsukki’s voice shaking as it echoes in the bathroom, saying his name, the shaky camera from Tsukki  _ riding a cock on the edge of his bathtub _ \- if he weren’t at work he would be there, pounding first on Tsukki’s door and then pounding Tsukki. Even he has boundaries, so what does he even send back? All he’s thinking about is how impossibly hard and out of breath he-

That’s it.

He once again checks to make sure no one is around, and takes a video. He plays Tsukki’s video back in his mind and lets his arousal show fully but almost silently. He gasps and pants, rolls his body up off of the brick wall even though his head maintains contact. He weaves his hand through his hair, presses it down his body while the camera follows, and grabs his cock through his pants. It’s very clearly fully erect and would form a very obvious outline in his pant leg were it not for his black clothing. He rolls his hips up and breathes, “ _ Kei…” _

Send.

\---

God that - that’s just not fair. How can Kuroo look so devastatingly sexy  _ all the time _ ? Tsukki has seconds to open his camera, and he presses record right as he uses his other hand to fist his cock. He keens as he starts moving his hips, fully seated on his obnoxious red dildo, fucking into his fist.

It takes him seconds to come, his body bowing forward and his hand holding the phone falling to rest against the bathtub. He has just enough sense to tilt it up so that Kuroo will be able to see him fucking himself through orgasm.

“Fu-fuuuck, fuck, f-fuck me,” he pants. He barely manages to press send and once he does he slides off the dildo and down into the tub, trying his best to get his breath back.

\---

If Kuroo had been able to join Tsukki, the audio alone would have made him come. But, as it stands, there is audio  _ and video _ and he has three minutes to pull himself together before he has to finish his shift. He thinks Tsukki saying the words ‘fuck me’ should be illegal.

He takes several deep breaths, willing his erection away only half-successfully. He suddenly is unable to think of anything  _ not sexy,  _ anything but Tsukki who, just four months ago couldn’t admit he was gay and is now fucking himself and moaning like a porn star just for Kuroo.

**Kuroo:** I’m off at midnight. Leave your door unlocked for me?

His time is up, so he goes back inside and after a quick greeting to his bro, begins to  _ work.  _ Washing glasses, breaking down boxes, turning all the bottles so the label is showing, pouring all the drinks he can. Anything to keep Tsukki’s broken voice from creeping back into his head.

\---

Akaashi Keiji is aware of the things that he is good at. He’s not overly prideful, but he’s able to acknowledge his strengths. One of those strengths is reading his partners, however occasional, like books. Bokuto is currently refilling drinks and bantering with some regulars at the other end of the bar, leaving Akaashi to watch Kuroo with sharp eyes as he sips his wine.

Kuroo is very good at hiding what he doesn’t want others to see, but his shoulders are tight, his eyes are down, overly focused given the tasks he’s doing, and Akaashi can see the very faint blush on his cheeks. Kuroo Tetsurou is turned on, that much Akaashi is sure of, and considering he left for a break, maybe a little flustered, and came back so affected, makes Akaashi think that Tsukishima has something to do with the difference.

“Something on your mind, Kuroo?” he asks, keeping his voice unobtrusive, but loud enough that he’s sure the other man can hear him.

Kuroo turns, smirk easy on his face despite his dilated pupils, “No no, everything is just fine. Just feeling like working extra hard, is all.”

It’s somewhat of a pet peeve for Akaashi when people don’t tell him what’s on their minds. True, everyone is entitled to their privacy, and with someone less...resilient than Kuroo, he wouldn’t press. That said, if Kuroo is going to try and lie to him, the least he can do is be convincing. Akaashi levels him with what Bokuto calls his ‘You’re not fooling me!!!’ look and takes another sip of his wine.

"I too find myself wanting to work hard after disappearing for fifteen minutes,” he says, keeping his voice casual. He leans farther onto the bar, resting his forearms against the dark wood and letting the atmosphere around the two of them become more intimate. His eyebrows rise. "I’m assuming this is about Tsukki?”

Kuroo quirks a brow, and looks at Akaashi with just the faintest tinge of hunger. He licks his lips and lowers his voice, then leans in as well.

“Why would you assume it’s about Tsukki,” he purrs, “and not, say, yourself?”

Akaashi lifts one brow. Kuroo makes a tempting picture.  Akaashi knows that while Kuroo loves to be under his hands, Tsukki throws him off balance. The younger man must, there’s no other explanation for Kuroo’s behavior when the blond is brought up, or worse, when Tsukki is around. It’s not obvious to the others, but it’s plain for Akaashi.

"I know that Tsukki and I put different looks in your eyes, Tetsurou,” he says, his voice perfectly level. His fingers flex against the bartop and he lifts one corner of his mouth in a teasing smirk. His voice is low and smooth, “You’re not hungry for  _ my _ hands tonight.”   
  
Well if Kuroo didn't want Akaashi before he  _ certainly  _ wants him now. Tsukki is unpredictable and that's hot but no one reads him in the explicit fashion Akaashi does. It makes Kuroo absolutely weak, makes him want to devote himself to the stoic beauty. He maintains wordless eye contact with him and focuses on evening his breaths. 

Akaashi smirks, finishing his wine while he lets Kuroo try to compose himself, before saying, “Mmm, yeah, it looks more that  _ that,”  _ and it’s as fond as it is teasing. He would love to take Kuroo home like this tonight, but he’s more than happy to let the other man go to his new blond companion and break him in more.

“Hey hey! Are you trying to woo my man over here?” Bokuto bounds up and smacks Kuroo on the ass. 

“Wouldn't dream of it, bro,” Kuroo coos. 

Akaashi rolls his eyes. 

Bokuto hooks two fingers into Kuroos pants and pulls their hips together. He leans in to the taller man and whispers in his ear, “Are you sure? I'm willing to share…”

Kuroo swallows hard, “Let me…let me get you some more wine, Akaashi.” He disengages from Bokuto and turns to fetch the bottle.

Akaashi chuckles, enjoying seeing Kuroo flustered. "I don’t think tonight will work, but we can talk about it another time, Bokuto,” he says. He scans the two bartenders and lets his gaze become a little hungry. “And perhaps someone else can join the conversation.”    
  
It’s not the voice he uses during scenes, but it’s headed in that direction, just erotic and commanding enough to give Kuroo and Bokuto the right idea.

Kuroo whips around, “Wait seriously?”

Bokuto grins and looks at Akaashi. 

"Is that so surprising?” Akaashi asks. Part of him wonders if Kuroo objects to the idea, but that’s not like him. “Unless you’d rather keep him to yourself?”

The image of Tsukki’s response to minor praise during sex flashes through Kuroo’s mind, substitutes beautiful Akaashi holding the difficult blond’s chin up, forcing him to make eye contact, Tsukki fighting it, blushing and aroused, and then Akaashi- 

“Not at all,” Kuroo says, smooth despite the absolute lecherous vision that just graced his mind’s eye, "I’m very curious to see how he’d respond. You want me to broach the subject, or would you like to?”

Akaashi smiles and pushes his glass forward just enough to indicate that Kuroo should pour him another.

"I think it might be best for you to do it, considering he’s opened up to you about his desires.”   
  
He can only imagine what the blond would do if he asked; he’d probably shut down and avoid Akaashi like the plague, and beyond wanting to see him opened up, vulnerable and lovely while begging for more, Akaashi values Tsukki’s friendship and doesn’t want to strain that.

"I do insist on sitting down with everyone beforehand, though,” he adds, his face deadly serious. He knows that Kuroo and Bokuto know that communication is key, but Kuroo needs to make sure that Tsukki knows that as well. “Let us know if he’s interested, and we’ll talk further.”

"Yes, yeah, of course,” Kuroo says, re-upping Akaashi’s drink, "I’ll...I’ll talk to him about it tonight.”

Akaashi murmurs his thanks with a smile. He takes a sip of his wine with a satisfied hum and looks between the two bartenders. 

“Perhaps I could help Bokuto close up tonight,” he offers with a knowing look at Kuroo. "You seem... _ eager _ to get to Tsukki.”

"I appreciate it,” Kuroo says, putting his hands up, "But I honor my commitments first and foremost. Besides, Bo only asked me to stay until midnight.”

"I can’t tell if this is ‘bros before hoes’ or like making a dog sit and stay before giving it a treat.” Bokuto ponders. Akaashi rolls his eyes fondly and leans back some, effectively changing the mood to something that feels more casual.

"You _would_ know what that’s like, Bokuto,” he sighs dryly. He shrugs at Kuroo and smirks, “no hurt in offering I suppose. But since you are determined to be a good friend, your groupies are waiting for you at the other end of the bar.”

Bokuto takes his cue and gives Akaashi and Kuroo a wink before walking down.

"I look forward to hearing what Tsukki says,” Akaashi says with a smile that can only be described as  _ ravenous. _

_ \--- _

Tsukki is pacing his living room, checking his phone for the time every few seconds. He sexted. He fucking sent  _ pictures  _ to Kuroo. That has to be one of the stupidest things he's ever done.

It's not that he doesn't trust Kuroo not to share the pictures, but what if someone borrows his phone? What if  _ Oikawa  _ goes through his photos and sees? What if Kuroo accidentally sends the pictures? Tsukki's stomach clenches and he finally sits on his couch, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. It's going to be midnight in three minutes, and it'll probably take Kuroo maybe ten minutes to get to Tsukki's apartment on foot.

“Fuck, you're an idiot,” Tsukki curses to himself. He checks his phone again. It's eleven fifty-nine. Tsukki gets up and does a lap around the apartment. He tries to take a deep breath. He’ll ask Kuroo to delete the photos and -  _ shit the videos _ . He shouldn't have an issue deleting them and then Tsukki will finally be able to relax.

\---

It pained Kuroo not to kiss Bokuto nor Akaashi before he left exactly at midnight. This is unusual, they're always attractive of course but he generally suspends those feelings in public and especially at work. This time it wouldn't stick. Akaashi was right. Tsukki has a strange effect on him. 

_ Tsukki.  _ He turns down a back road where there are no pedestrians and pulls out his phone. He opens the images mid-stride, desire taking full hold of him. He plays the second video and he feels off balance. 

So, when he steps up to Tsukki’s door he's got an openly debauched air about him. He knocks softly and comes in to find Tsukki on the couch. Tsukki jolts when the door opens and stands, his breathing already faster at the sight of the other man.

“Hey there, you  _ minx.”  _ Kuroo says,  kicking off his shoes. 

"I- I need you to delete - whatIsentyou,” he blurts. He probably could have said that more gracefully, but his entire body feels cold. He’s completely worked himself up and he hates it.

If he's honest, Kuroo is sad that the request to delete came so  _ fast.  _ However, he respects his partners boundaries above all else and no amount of sexual need or attraction changes that. 

"Yeah, of course,” Kuroo says casually, setting down his bag. He pulls his phone from his pocket and walks up to Tsukki, showing him that he's deleting the messages. “Wish I could have gotten a chance to…y’know… _ really enjoy  _ them...But - there, they’re gone.”

Tsukki takes a deep breath. It comes out shaky, but he’s relieved that Kuroo understands. 

“ _ Thank you _ ,” he sighs, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I’m sorry I just-” he flutters a hand uselessly as he trails off. His panic is replaced by guilt and  _ shit _ why can’t he just be fucking casual about anything?

Kuroo closes the already small distance between them, pressing their bodies together and kissing Tsukki with purpose. Tsukki makes a surprised noise but kisses back, albeit with a little hesitation. He rests his hands on Kuroo’s hips, his thumbs sweeping slightly under the man’s shirt.

“No, thank  _ you,”  _ he whispers against the blond's lips. "You have  _ no idea _ what these past two hours have been like for me.”

Tsukki pulls back so that he can blink at the older man. His cheeks flare bright pink and his stomach swoops at the look on Kuroo’s face. 

"Yeah?” he asks, his voice a little rough. 

_ “Yeah,”  _ Kuroo responds, voice gravelly, and kisses him again. His hands come up to Tsukki’s shoulders and drag down to his ass, grabbing firmly. 

Tsukki lets his hips lean into Kuroo’s and he moans a little at the contact. He quickly went from incredibly horny to full of anxiety, so he welcomes the heat filling his chest. His cock is already starting to fill slowly at the anticipation of what he and Kuroo will do tonight. After a minute he pulls away and pushes Kuroo in the direction of his room because he does not want to wait. He still feels kind of loose from before, and he definitely wants to capitalize on that.

Kuroo obliges, of course. But he catches Tsukki in the hallway and shoves him against the wall, slamming his palm next to him. Tsukki jumps, shocked but not displeased at the kind of rough treatment.

"Before we get going…” Kuroo purrs, their faces close, "I have a…request.”

A shiver goes through him and he licks his lips. “W-what?” he asks.

"I want to watch you. In person.”

Tsukki isn’t sure what to say to that. It’s - the thought of Kuroo watching him makes him hot all over, but he’s not sure how he feels about exhibiting himself like that. He swallows, hard, closing his eyes because Kuroo looking at him like he is is  _ distracting _ .

“What- do you mean?” he asks. He’s not being coy, he wants to know exactly what Kuroo wants from him before he agrees to anything.

Kuroo thinks of Akaashi. He lightly brushes Tsukki’s chin with his fingertips, forcing him to look at him. Tsukki’s gasp is almost inaudible, but he feels like he’s been lit on  _ fire _ . Kuroo exhales, setting his posture. Open, strong, persuasive. His words are soft and  _ loaded.  _

"I want to watch you fuck yourself,” Kuroo says, "I want to see you edge yourself and hear you beg for me to fuck you.” Tsukki whines and his cock throbs in his pants. He’s already edged himself twice tonight, but the way Kuroo is speaking makes him want to go as long as he can.

He leans into Tsukki's ear and breathes,  “ _ And then I want to fuck you harder than you ever thought possible.” _

_ Shit _ , Tsukki thinks. He melts back into the wall because suddenly his legs feel fucking  _ weak _ . He finds himself nodding as much as he can with Kuroo holding his chin. He’d definitely been thinking about Kuroo finally fucking him, but now he doesn’t think he’ll be able to let the night pass without that happening.

"Yes,” he breaths, taking Kuroo’s wrist and guiding two of his fingers into his mouth. Earlier, when he’d been getting ready to stretch himself, he’d realized that he preferred Kuroo’s fingers in his mouth to his own, and now he knows he’s right.

Kuroo buckles slightly from Tsukki's hot wet mouth around his fingers. He collects himself immediately, watches the blonds tongue work around his digits. 

"But I also want to  _ thank _ you for sending me what you did…” he whispers, his heart suddenly  _ racing, _ “...let me eat you open?”

That’s, well, confusing. The idea of Kuroo behind him, getting him ready and  _ thanking _ him for his pictures and videos is  fucking hot, and Tsukki is  _ really  _ glad that he had cleaned himself so well earlier, but - honestly clean or not having Kuroo’s  _ mouth _ on his ass seems kind of gross. His haze of arousal dampens somewhat as he mulls it over.

“Um, I- I guess, we can try?” he offers. He doesn’t want to fully reject the idea, but it’s going to take some convincing from Kuroo before he’s fully okay with the idea.

Kuroo eases back a little, and his tone changes to just this side of serious rather than sexy, “Not bare yet, not for your first time _.  _ Even  _ I'm  _ more cautious than to just go for it. _ ” _

He brings back that lascivious atmosphere to add, “Not  _ yet _ . But I meant what I said on the phone…”

Tsukki never expected to be able to feel completely relieved and horny, but right now he's overwhelmed with emotions. He surges forward and kisses Kuroo, pushing him back and towards his room. He breaks the kiss to pull at Kuroo's shirt. 

"I meant what- what I said too,” he starts, "I want - to feel your mouth on my t-thighs,” he pauses to finish taking Kuroo's shirt off and throws it the the side and kisses him again before murmuring, “for  _ days,”  _ against Kuroo's lips. 

Kuroo pulls up Tsukki's shirt just enough for the blond to understand ‘take it off’, then drops to his knees and pulls Tsukki's pants and boxers down to free his cock. Already so hard and dripping…Kuroo is overwhelmed with the need to take it in his mouth, so he does, tongue wide and gently sucking on the head. 

Tsukki throws his shirt to the side without taking his eyes off of Kuroo. Seeing him on his knees makes his cock twitch, but when Kuroo puts his mouth on him, Tsukki doubles over, his hands grabbing Kuroo's shoulders for strength.

“S- _ shit,” _ he hisses, his hips jerking forward a little. 

Kuroo moans around Tsukki's cock, taking it in a little deeper while grabbing his thighs fiercely. When it hits the back of his throat, the noise he makes is obscene and he claws down Tsukki's thighs. 

“F-uck!” Tsukki screams, his hips thrusting forward again. His fingers dig into Kuroo's shoulders. “God, your  _ mouth,”  _ he gasps.

Kuroo would usually exhibit more self-control with Tsukki. This time is different. He lets himself go completely off the rails, sucking and licking Tsukki’s cock like he needs it to  _ survive. _ He makes a complete mess of himself, making obscene slurping sounds from how much saliva is coating Tsukki’s cock. He looks up at the blond, holds his thighs in place with fingertip bruises, and takes his cock all the way to the base, swallowing around the head.

Tsukki’s honestly not sure what to do with himself besides  _ stay standing _ , which is no easy feat when Kuroo Tetsurou is going to town like he is. Tsukki’s nails start to dig into Kuroo’s shoulder and it’s not long before he’s just a mess of moans and whines. Kuroo swallowing around his head just - he loses what little control he has managed to keep and fucks further into Kuroo’s mouth accidentally.

Kuroo wasn’t expecting that. He thought his hold on the blonde was enough to keep him from fucking further. Obviously not. He’s taken aback for a moment, his eyes pinching shut from pain, but ultimately just  _ groans _ around Tsukki’s cock. He comes off with a wet  _ pop _ and looks up at Tsukki wordlessly. His gaze is hooded, mouth open, and a string of saliva stretching from his cock to Kuroo’s lips.

For a split second Tsukki whines, blinking his eyes open -  _ when had he closed them? _ \- and then he realizes what he did. “S-shit, shit, I’m sorry!” he says taking his hands off Kuroo’s shoulders and moving to step away.

“Please, no,” Kuroo whispers, his voice hoarse. He gasps, mouth open and panting pulling Tsukki’s thighs towards him. “Want...more”

Tsukki isn’t sure what to do with that. Kuroo’s face, his  _ voice _ sends want through him, and Kuroo’s throat had felt amazing, but he doesn’t want to hurt him. "I- okay,” he finally says, his voice shaking. He allows Kuroo to pull him in and he holds his cock steady for him, taking the opportunity to clamp his fingers around the base because Kuroo might easily send him over the damn edge looking like this.

With Tsukki holding his cock steady, Kuroo has his hands free to pay attention to himself. He looks up as he lavishes the head of the  blond’s slick cock with his tongue. At the same time, he swiftly unbuckles his belt and pulls out his cock. A drip of precum hits the floor.  He presses his thumb over the slit and his eyes flutter closed.

“L-look so good,” Tsukki moans, gripping his base tighter for good measure. He feels filthy, with Kuroo leaking on his floor when he’s not even fully naked yet, and rather than hating it, he actually...really likes the fact that he has this effect on Kuroo. He likes that he gets to see Kuroo looking so needy for his cock. He strokes the fingers of his free hand through Kuroo’s hair and moans again, grabbing onto the longer strands and pulling, just enough that he knows Kuroo will feel it.

Kuroo feels something crack deep inside him. He pulls off of Tsukki’s cock, climbing the blond with kisses and hickeys and shirking his pants. Tsukki whines at the loss, giving Kuroo just enough room to get his pants off. He presses their cocks together in his hand and  _ squeezes. _ Tsukki grabs his shoulders, letting one hand slide around to the back of his neck as a soft cry rips out of him. It feels- it’s almost too much. A moan escapes him from the delicious pressure, and he makes eye contact with Tsukki. 

"I want...your mouth...Kei…” he growls, the shift in demeanor evident in the way he  _ shoves _ Tsukki back onto the bed.

Tsukki falls, equal parts startled and turned on. He shifts back so that he’s fully on the bed and whines, because Kuroo standing over him is a lot different than him standing over Kuroo. 

Kuroo quickly rummages through his pants to find appropriate protection. He climbs over Tsukki and crushes him in a kiss. He moves down to Tsukki's  _ favorite,  _ his chest, and begins to bite and suck the marks he so desperately craves from Kuroo. His hands weave through the man's soft blond locks while his mouth scatters bruises over Tsukki's shoulders clavicles and pecs. 

Tsukki grab’s Kuroo’s hair with both hands because he doesn’t want him going  _ anywhere _ . the blond is a constant stream of whimpers and moans as he arches into Kuroo’s mouth. Kuroo sucking on the scratches he’d put on his chest earlier burn in the best way, and  _ god _ , he never wants this to end.

“P-please, Tetsu-rou,” he gasps desperately. He’s not even sure what he wants from the other man, he just wants  _ more. _

Kuroo bites viciously into Tsukki's shoulder, causing the blond to choke around his shout, and then whispers in his ear, “Can we... at the same time?”

Tsukki pulls back, blinking. “Do- what - at the same time?”

Kuroo grinds down on Tsukishima and a shuddering breath wracks him. 

“Suck my cock while I eat your ass…” he growls. 

Tsukki melts further into the bed with a moan before he pulls Kuroo into a kiss, biting his lip before pulling back enough to say, “How do you want me?”

“On your side.” Tsukki turns, and it’s a little awkward but he figures it makes the most sense.

Kuroo moves, positioning his crotch not  _ quite _ in Tsukki's face but well within reach. Where he lays, he takes Tsukki's thighs in the crooks of his arms. He unwraps the dam and holds the edges taut against Tsukki's ass cheeks with his fingertips. 

He spreads the blond open, and licks, tongue broad, across his hole. 

That- that is strange, but not  _ bad _ . Tsukki chokes a little, his hole clenching, but other than that he doesn’t shy away. Instead, he distracts himself by mouthing at the head of Kuroo’s cock, wrapping a hand around the base and sucking it further in. He moans at the hot taste of Kuroo, his free hand reaching to claw at the meat at the top of Kuroo’s ass.

Tsukki moaning around his cock expels any nerves Kuroo had. He moans and works at his hole in earnest, puckered lips sucking with wet sounds and tongue sliding across, hard. 

"Y _ es!”  _ Kuroo moans, taking a breath before delving back in. 

Tsukki moans, his breath coming faster and shorter because what Kuroo is doing feels so dirty, but it feels so  _ amazing _ . His cock is leaking against his thigh and he whines around Kuroo’s cock, moving the hand holding the base down so that he can work his mouth down farther. Kuroo is bigger that his dildo, and he hasn’t been able to go to the base of that - he only tried twice before he worked up the nerve to put it in his ass, but he’s been looking up how to deepthroat, and has been working on reducing his gag reflex, little by little.

Kuroo would never admit it to Tsukki but his oral in the past has been...cautious. Which totally does it for Kuroo, who is immensely turned on by Tsukki even  _ doing _ it in the first place but this…this is  _ good.  _ Having more of Tsukki's mouth on his cock is perfect, and he slowly winds his hips forward without thinking. 

Suddenly he remembers why he's doing this, that he wants to watch Tsukki. So he let's up on the dam just slightly and presses his tongue  _ into _ Tsukki, just past his entrance. 

Tsukki chokes a little, pulling off Kuroo’s cock before he gags. He clenches harder on Kuroo’s hip, because despite the fact that he’s interested in Kuroo fucking his mouth one day, he’s certainly not ready for that right now. any discomfort is wiped away when Kuroo’s tongue pushes into him. He moans, rough and low, his hole clenching around Kuroo’s tongue. He’s still pliant from earlier, which makes the intrusion less intense than it would have been but- this is different from having Kuroo’s fingers in him. 

“F-fuck,” he gasps, before sinking back onto Kuroo’s cock, far enough that he can feel resistance, but not enough that he’s in danger of choking - yet.

Kuroos toes curl with pleasure and he whines, separating himself into two parts, one focused on unabashedly twisting and wriggling his tongue in Tsukki's ass and the other controlling his hips from bucking into Tsukki's mouth. Tsukki is trying his best to keep himself together and focus on Kuroo’s erection. He feels like he’s failing, for how many times he has to pull of to bite his lips or moan, but Kuroo hasn’t complained yet.

It’s only a few minutes before Kuroo can't handle it anymore. He loops his head around Tsukki's thigh and addresses him. It takes Tsukki a minute to catch up and he pulls off, gasping for breath.

“W-why-” he whines, his hips moving in Kuroo’s grip.

“Kei, I - please can you…I want to see you….” he says, as if his lungs won't pull the air in to make the sentence all at once. Tsukki’s brain is barely working and Kuroo isn’t helping by looking so damn debauched.

“W-what?” 

"You said you…do you still want me to watch you?” Kuroo says after a deep breath. 

Tsukki shivers. He moves back, disentangling himself from Kuroo’s arms and tossing the dam so that he can settle back on his side, this time with his head next to Kuroo’s. The thought of Kuroo watching him would have made him sick a few months ago, but now it makes him feel fluttery and feverish. Rather than his anxiety taking over, he knows that Kuroo will enjoy watching him. He ducks his chin shyly, biting his lip as he thinks. He keeps a hand on Kuroo’s hip, to keep him somewhat grounded via the physical connection.

"I- yes,” he says after a moment, looking at Kuroo. God, Kuroo watching him is going to make not coming that much harder though.

Kuroo kisses him gently, but rakes his nails down Tsukki's chest on his way to the desk. He turns the chair around and sits, only a few feet from the devastatingly hot man before him, leaning back lazily and spread out. 

“Just act like I'm not here…” he breathes, already straining just from looking at Tsukki on the bed. 

Tsukki wasn’t expecting that to happen. He’d thought - he imagined Kuroo on the bed with him, maybe like last time, but, but without as much touching on Kuroo’s part. Having him across the room makes his nerves flare, but he wants to do this. He wants to make it good for Kuroo. He’s not even sure where to start. He can’t just ‘act like Kuroo isn’t there’, especially since he can feel the heat of the other man’s eyes on him.

He takes a deep breath that does little to steady his racing heart and turns so that he’s laying on his back. He- the room feels kind of cold against his sweaty skin. Glancing over at Kuroo doesn’t help anything - it reminds him how alone he is, distinctly on display, and makes him want to hide. 

He closes his eyes and thinks back to earlier, how he’d come home ramped up and wanting, but how he ate dinner, watched something, tuned his cello, and started to clean the kitchen until he couldn’t avoid the fact that all he wanted to do was take himself apart. His hands shake as he slides them down his torso. They feel like they’re leaving flames behind and he gasps, his soft voice seeming to boom in the quiet room.

He stops at his hips, pressing his thumbs into the grooves of his hip bones with a small sigh. He can feel where he cock is dripping against his stomach, can feel it throbbing in time with his pounding heart. He brings one hand to his mouth, sucking his fingers and getting them wet before he swipes the same fingers through the precum on his stomach. He wraps those fingers gently around his cock, stroking himself lazily for a few minutes and letting his voice get more confident. His free hand moves to start teasing at his nipples, pinching and pulling until they’re red and aching. 

It doesn’t take long for him to feel his orgasm start to build, he didn’t expect it to take long considering everything Kuroo had done to him so far, and he lets go of his cock, his hips chasing the wet heat of his hand as a choked moan rips from him. Precum oozes down his cock and he whines.

His eyes are still shut tight, but he opens them to look over at Kuroo, his face flushed and desperate. “T-tetsu,” he gasps, his fingers scratching across his stomach as his muscles jump. He feels like a live wire and Kuroo looks - it’s unbelievable. After another couple of moments, when his chest isn’t heaving so much, he grips his cock again, this time bringing his other hand to his mouth.

He twists until his finger can reach his hole without giving himself a stitch - that had been an unpleasant experience that he has no intention of repeating - and he presses gently against his entrance. He has to close his eyes again, overwhelmed by the sensations. He’s so close - it wouldn’t take much more--and he releases his cock again, every muscle in his body clenching desperately. 

“P-please- fuckfuck - please - Tets-urou,” he moans, his voice rough and high. He presses a finger into himself with a choked cry. He’s pliant and open from his earlier session and Kuroo’s tongue -  _ god his tongue _ . “w-want it, fuck, please,” he pants.

Kuroo leans forward in his chair, wonderful tension coiled in his shoulders as he just barely touches the head of his own cock. Breathless, he exudes lust as he leers at Tsukki. 

"Babe, Kei, this is so  _ good,  _ you're so perfect...I want to give it to you…” Kuroo purrs. "But first…use your toy.”

Tsukki’s moan becomes strangled and he takes his finger out of him. He awkwardly opens the bottom drawer of his night stand to get his dildo, a towelette, and lube. He can’t help but wince again at the color, the bright over-the-top red matching his cheeks. He rips the towelette open with his teeth and wipes off his fingers before he situates himself again on his back and bends his legs up before covering the toy in lube. He lines it up with his hole and doesn’t waste any time pressing it into himself with a wrecked moan.

“Ahh- Tetsurou,” he whimpers, pulling the toy out before pressing it in again. Pleasure wracks his body and he hasn’t even  _ touched _ his prostate yet.

"Y _ es, Kei.”  _ Kuroo moans, getting rougher with his cock. He can't find words for what this is doing to him, seeing Kei like this, that the blond pleasures himself thinking of him. “Fucking h-hot…”

Tsukki whines, biting his lip as his hips start to move on their own. He starts to fuck into himself faster, his arm shaking with the effort of going slow enough not to hurt himself, but he wants more. He wants Kuroo. 

“Please, please,” he begs, frustrated tears wetting his lashes. His free hand is pressing fingertip bruises into his hip, because if he touches himself now it’ll all be over. “W-want - come with -  _ you _ inside,” he whines.

“Slow, slow ,” Kuroo growls, eyes wanting to close due to the sheer amount of pleasure they are partaking in. “Come back down…. _ and then ask for it again.” _

The sound Tsukki makes can only be described as a growl, but his arm slows, the toy disappearing into him inch by inch. Tsukki’s legs are shaking, his heart is racing, and he feels like every nerve in his body is exposed to the hot air. He can feel slow tears run down his cheeks into his hair, and distantly he knows that crying is embarrassing, but he just wants it so badly.

“Tet-su-rou,  _ please,” _ he begs with a broken voice.

The amount of heavy, dark desire Kuroo can harbor in his body has peaked. He could let himself come from this, but he refuses. So when his eyes close, body shutting down a sense to cope with the stimuli, he clenches his jaw and opens them wider. A grin finds its way to his mouth. He looks like a big cat staring at its prey. 

“ _ Say it.” _ he hisses. 

“F-fuck! Fuck me-e!” Tsukki yells, his fingers clawing into his thigh with the effort of not touching himself.

It's as if someone cut the chain of a mighty beast, how fast Kuroo is on top of Tsukki. He purrs in his ear, "You are  _ ruining _ me…” his hands claw and grip at Tsukki's flesh, remove the dildo from his ass, then concern themselves with the condom. Kuroo kneels between Tsukki's legs and positions himself at his wet, stretched hole, and  _ waits.  _

Tsukki might kill Kuroo. He grips one hand in Kuroo’s hair and  _ pulls _ while his hips roll down to try and fuck himself onto Kuroo’s cock. He’s waited long enough. “Fuck-ing-  _ fuck me _ ,” he growls before biting Kuroo’s shoulder.

Kuroo buries himself to the hilt in Tsukki, and Tsukki screams into Kuroo’s shoulder. His hips jerk down and his hand grips tighter at Kuroo’s hair. His other hand grabs Kuroo’s ass before scratching up his back.

_ He's so tight,  _ is all Kuroo can think.  _ He is tight and hot and this pain and this pleasure and Tsukki.  _ He takes steadying breaths and just keeps his cock there, letting Tsukki adjust. 

Kuroo’s cock is bigger than his dildo in all the best ways. Tsukki can’t imagine feeling fuller than he does right now. He pulls Kuroo in for a messy kiss, more panting into his mouth than actual kissing, as he releases his hair, only to make a matching set of scratches on the other side of Kuroo’s back.

“P-please- waited so  _ long _ ,  _ please _ ,” he gasps.

Kuroo nods, eyelids heavy. He pulls his hips back  _ slowly  _ and thrusts hard once. 

Tsukki sucks in a harsh gasp, his eyes rolling back in his head for a moment. He clings to Kuroo’s shoulders for dear life. “Mo-more, pleaseplease,” he moans between breaths.

He can't get enough of this. Kuroo hasn't felt this exact kind of attraction for so long. He establishes an even, moderate rhythm fucking into Tsukki, not hard like he wants and purposely missing his prostate. 

Tsukki groans, digging his fingers harder into Kuroo’s shoulders. He knows that he can take it harder, knows that Kuroo is holding back and he's been waiting  _ too long for this _ .

“S-stop fucking  _ around,”  _ he growls, “and fuck me like you  _ mean it _ .”

Kuroo briefly wonders where Tsukki  _ learns _ this shit. Those words kickstart the build of his orgasm, so he decides to oblige the hot, debauched blond beneath him. He starts slow pulling almost all the way out and slamming into Tsukki, sure to hit his sweet spot.    
  
Tsukki can’t stop his scream because that- that feels fucking fantastic. His clenches around Kuroo, moaning continuously.

He gradually picks up speed until he is  _ railing _ Tsukki with abandon, grunting and hissing with effort. 

Tsukki feels like he’s on fire. It not long before he feels his orgasm start to build with how Kuroo is hitting his prostate every time, but he can’t even think about taking his hands away from Kuroo’s shoulders to stroke his cock. He feels like he’s anchored to the spot, but that doesn’t stop the heat pooling in his stomach to peak. His orgasm hits him like a truck, and he’s pretty sure he’s making Kuroo  _ bleed _ under his fingers, because he’s pressing his nails into Kuroo’s skin that hard.

He’s not sure he’s even saying words. The sounds that he makes are weak and strangled as his release spatters over his and Kuroo’s stomachs. 

Tsukki convulsing around Kuroos cock combined with a drip of blood crawling down his shoulder makes Kuroo climax. But he 's fucking Tsukki  _ madly _ \- fast and hard and arhythmic with stuttering hips. 

Tsukki gasps for breath, feeling completely spent. He feels like he just ran two miles. Kuroo’s screwed up rhythm makes him wish that he hadn’t come, because knowing that he has that effect on the other man warms him with satisfaction. When Kuroo finally slows down and pulls out, oversensitive, he unclenches his fingers, puts his hands on Kuroo’s face and pulls him in for a kiss.

“Th--that was amazing,” he sighs. He feels pliant and warm, and a small part of him wishes that the feeling would never go away.

"Y-eah,” Kuroo sighs shallowly, “thank you for that.“

Tsukki laughs a little and pushes at Kuroo’s shoulder gently. "You always thank me - like I did all of the work,” he says, his voice too soft to be sarcastic. 

Kuroo lets his arms give out, leaning on his elbows over Tsukki and resting his head on his shoulder. Aftershocks surge through his body and he trembles uncontrollably. 

“Told me…what you want” he whispers, kissing Tsukki's shoulder. All of his breaths are coming as soft whines. “and…gave me…what I want.”

Tsukki starts to pet his fingers through Kuroo’s hair, unable to stop the smile spreading across his face. All of his earlier anxieties feel so silly now. not silly in the way that he feels stupid for having them, but that he never would have had to worry in the first place.

"Y-you’re welcome, then,” he murmurs, his eyes starting to droop dangerously. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knows that they should shower, but he feels like jelly, and Kuroo feels wonderful on top of him. He also feels...heavier on top of him. Tsukki pushes at his shoulder until he can see Kuroo’s face and - yep, the man is practically asleep. With a sigh, he pushes Kuroo off of him - he doesn’t really look it, but Kuroo is  _ heavy _ \- and rolls over so that he can wrap an arm around Kuroo’s chest.

“Goodnight,” he whispers into the quiet room, and lets sleep take him.

\---

Tsukki wakes up and notices the ache in his hips immediately. He groans, looking over at Kuroo, who’s still fast asleep. The dried blood on his shoulders is...kind of hot, but Tsukki regrets not showering the night before to save his sheets.

After a moment he slips away, being careful not to wake Kuroo up. He grabs his dinosaur sleep pants and a shirt before he goes out into the apartment. There’s a text for him from Tadashi; he went home with one of the groomsmen last night, and some of the tension leaves Tsukki’s shoulders. He busies himself with making tea, figuring that he’ll ask Kuroo to shower with him.

“Where’s Yamaguchi?” a very sleepy voice mumbles. Kuroo is walking into the kitchen in only boxers, rubbing the sleep out of one eye. “And why aren't you in  _ bed _ ?”

Tsukki turns to look at Kuroo and he can't help but smile a little. He offers Kuroo tea and says, “He got lucky at the wedding I suppose. He's probably not even awake yet.” He can see the blood on Kuroo's shoulders. He knows he has a few good marks himself. “I don't sleep in much,” he says, even though it's nearly eleven.

“It’s not about  _ sleeping” _ Kuroo whines. He's very clingy in the morning - he wraps his arms around Tsukki’s torso from behind and buries his neck in his shoulder. “How you feelin’?” Kuroo mumbles.

Tsukki can’t stop his smile at Kuroo’s behavior and leans back into him. This all feels so domestic.

“Sore,” he says simply, sipping his tea. “Good though. How about you?” he asks.

“Sore, also  _ very _ good,” Kuroo moans quietly, suggestively. His fingertips wander along Tsukki’s sides.

Tsukki sighs, pressing further back into Kuroo’s warmth. “We need to shower,” he says, acutely aware of how disgusting they are. “You’re still...bloody,” he reminds Kuroo, “but unfortunately I only have one showerhead, so we’ll have to make it work.”

Kuroo leans back from Tsukki and flexes his shoulders forward. He expects to feel his flesh crack apart but only feels lines light up down his back, points in his shoulders spike with dull pain.

“Eh, I've had worse,” Kuroo says, in regards to his bloody shoulders, “one shower head just means we have to stay  _ nice and close.”  _ He grinds his half-hard cock into Tsukki’s ass.

Tsukki doesn't mention that staying close is his intention. Kuroo saying that he's had worse sends a shiver up his spine, and Kuroo’s cock against his ass makes his mouth  _ water _ . It's like Kuroo has unleashed some kind of beast, one that was hidden under layers of denial and anger, and now he  _ needs _ like he never did before.

“Well what are we waiting for?” He asks, putting down his tea and turning to kiss Kuroo gently.

“So  _ tender,  _ Tsukki…” Kuroo teases after kissing him back. “Did getting  _ fucked _ finally loosen you up?”

Tsukki frowns, and he knows that Kuroo isn't being malicious, but maybe it had loosened him up. That doesn't mean Tsukki is ready to acknowledge the change. Instead of saying anything he goes to the bathroom, turning to make sure Kuroo is following him. He turns on the shower, letting the water get hot, before starting to undress.

He tries to be subtle about checking himself for marks but...there aren’t as many as he expected to find. He can’t say that last night disappointed him. He’s not going to be able to forget the feeling of Kuroo over him, fucking into him so well, and how much he affected Kuroo. Last night is the best night Tsukki has ever had, and he almost can’t believe it actually happened.

“Holy hell,” Kuroo breathes, turning his body to glance at his shoulders.  His back muscles surge from the twist. Tsukki’s nails are short to allow for playing his cello and for sex, but somehow his back and chest is streaked with marks from Tsukki clawing into him.  “I was thinking how great it would be to take you from behind but if you're gonna do _this_ to me in missionary I don't know…”

Tsukki snaps out of his reverie to look and feels his cheeks get hot. “It’s not like I meant to,” he says, turning to look at his own back. Nothing.  _ How? _ He doesn’t mention that he was mostly trying to hang on for dear life last night. Instead, he reaches in the shower to check the temperature and finds it a little too hot. He adjusts the dial and checks again, murmuring, “It’s good now,” before stepping in.

Kuroo follows Tsukki into the shower and pulls their hips together.

“What’s got you so quiet, babe? _ ” _ Kuroo growls in his ear, digging his fingers into Tsukki’s back along the trail of water. 

Tsukki can’t help but stiffen, Kuroo’s voice at the perfect pitch to  _ do things _ to him, before he relaxes into Kuroo’s hold. He rests his hands on the other man’s hips and sighs. He feels kind of silly that he’s even mildly disappointed - everything last night was great but usually Kuroo is more than able to fulfill his requests, especially when Tsukki actually voices what he wants. He shivers under the water and grips Kuroo tighter.

“I just expected more marks, I guess,” he admits with a shrug, his voice just loud enough to hear over the water and his cheeks bright red. The more he thinks about it, the less he finds it matters. He can always ask Kuroo to mark him again, and it’s not like they’re going to stop sleeping together.

Kuroo feels his chest tighten a bit. Last night had been incredible, but Tsukki had asked for marks, specifically, during their phonecall. It’s not often that he falls short on meeting his partner’s needs. He creates some space between them without really thinking about what he’s doing.

Tsukki responds to the space with a confused noise. He didn’t want space. He looks at Kuroo, and - shit he said something wrong, he must have.

“I didn’t mean that it wasn’t amazing-” he says, rushing to make this right, but, then Kuroo cuts him off.

“I think… I know someone who could help you with that.”

“What? What is that supposed to mean?” Tsukki asks.

“Akaashi and Bokuto want you.”

Tsukki’s breath stops for a second and he stares at Kuroo, his mouth open in shock. Akaashi and Bokuto- “What?” he croaks once he finds his voice.

“I suppose my looking slightly…compromised last night gave them their chance to tell me to tell you,” Kuroo says casually, beginning to work shampoo in his hair. “So… Akaashi and Bokuto want you.”

Tsukki doesn’t like what’s happening here. Kuroo is acting matter-of-fact, which isn’t really like him. The atmosphere between them feels cold, and that’s the last thing Tsukki wants. He’s gotten used to Kuroo’s warmth, and he likes it.

“I- that doesn’t make any sense,” he says, reaching for the soap because he can’t think of what else to do. Should he try again to tell Kuroo that last night was definitely one of the best he’s ever had? “Why are you saying this now?” he asks instead. Even if he upset Kuroo, bringing up Akaashi doesn’t make any sense, and Bokuto even less. He and Bokuto...they get along fine in a group, but, he can’t imagine spending time with him one on one, and can’t imagine why Bokuto would be interested in him.

“Because you want marks,” Kuroo says, leaning his head onto Tsukki’s shoulder to rinse, “Akaashi wants to play with you. So does Bokuto. They can give you marks that will last.”

Tsukki pushes Kuroo back so that he can look at him. “You can, and do, too - i-it’s not just about the bruises! Last night was  _ amazing _ , okay?” the thought of  _ anything _ with Akaashi is intriguing, but, he can’t just...whatever with Akaashi and Bokuto! He feels like this is some kind of goodbye or something, and he’s pretty sure that feeling isn’t rational, but --

“I don’t want - to be done with you,” he blurts.

Kuroo laughs, “I'm not saying I’m done with you!” He brings his voice to a soft, intimate tone, “I was distracted last night.” He presses his forehead to Tsukki’s. He places a hand on the back of his neck, feeling the water drip over his knuckles. “You were so  _ good, _ it overwhelmed me and I didn't give you what you wanted…”

That only makes Tsukki feel somewhat better. He's gotten used to Kuroo, and he's not sure he’s the type of person that can just jump from partner to partner...he can feel Kuroo’s hands moving lower, and it relaxes him a little. Over time, Kuroo's touch has gone from scaring him to being a comfort. He's - can he do that with Akaashi and Bokuto?

Kuroo leans back to look Tsukki in the eye, “I have a feeling Akaashi will see to it you get whatever you ask of him,” he claws up the blond’s thighs, “and I'd  _ love _ to watch.”

The sudden pain makes Tsukki gasp and he tilts forward into Kuroo’s chest, his hands going to his hips again.

“I'm- I don't know if I'd be any good at that,” he admits. He still can't quite imagine what Akaashi and Kuroo get up to, much less how he would fit into that mix.

“You’re so hot when you're shy,” Kuroo purrs. “The first step is to just talk. Think hard if you want it and then we talk with them, okay? In the meantime I'll try to control myself but you  _ really _ don't make it easy…”

He kisses Tsukki, open and soft and lazy. His cock just barely accidentally brushes the inside of Tsukki’s thigh.

Tsukki moans quietly into the kiss, his hands trailing up to Kuroo’s chest. He can feel the other man’s heart beating against his fingertips. He didn't expect to feel Kuroo’s cock against him, it makes him moan harder into the kiss and his own cock twitch. He guides them back, ducking through the water so that it hits Kuroo.

Kuroo moans softly at how good the water feels across his scratches. “So… what's our morning look like?” he mumbles.

Tsukki traces his fingers over Kuroo’s scratches gently for a moment before leaning down and tracing them with soft kisses.

“I don't have anything planned,” he says into Kuroo’s skin.

“What do you say I make up for last night…?” Kuroo whispers.

Tsukki surges up to kiss Kuroo, wrapping his fingers in Kuroo’s hair. “Yes, please,” he says once he comes up to breathe. He presses a thigh between Kuroo’s legs. “Want to feel you - for  _ days _ .”


	6. November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki shakes his head. “No it’s-” he sighs and turns so that he can wrap his arms around Tadashi while still keeping his face hidden. “I might...do something with KurooAkaashiandBokuto,” he says quickly, his arms tight around Tadashi’s waist.
> 
> Tadashi perks up immediately.
> 
> “Whoah! Good for you!” he says, excited. “When?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooboy this one is big. Like, it's kinda huge guys #sorrynotsorry
> 
> Please take a look at the tags!

Tsukki sits at the bar, sipping the last of his only whiskey and soda of the night. It’s almost closing, everyone else has gone home, leaving him, Akaashi - who’s no doubt waiting for Bokuto - and Kuroo. Kuroo is cleaning glasses behind the bar and Tsukki watches him, taking comfort in his smooth movements. It’s been two months since the first time Tsukki bottomed for Kuroo -- he had been able to feel the bruises Kuroo left on his thighs for a week, and since then, he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about what Kuroo had said in the shower.

_ Akaashi and Bokuto want you. _

“I don’t know if I can do this,” he murmurs, just loud enough for Kuroo to hear. He’s not worried about Akaashi hearing him, despite his anxiety about talking to the other man, because he can clearly hear Bokuto’s conversation with him. Tsukki abandons his drink; it tastes sour on his tongue.

“I know you can,” Kuroo encourages, placing a glass of water on the counter for Tsukki. “Akaashi is all about communication. Need I remind you it was  _ his _ idea.”

Tsukki gulps the water and gives Kuroo a dark look. “Yes, apparently,” he grumbles. He looks back over at Akaashi, and is mildly horrified to find that Akaashi is watching him. He looks back at Kuroo desperately. “I could barely have a conversation about normal sex with you - how am I supposed to do this?” he hisses.

“Could. Past tense,” Kuroo levels, “a few months ago I would have told Akaashi you aren't ready. But you're different now. I wouldn't have brought it up for Akaashi if you hadn't shown me you were capable of communicating your needs.”

Tsukki bites back the number of sarcastic comments he thinks of and turns his empty water glass in front of him. It’s different with Akaashi; Tsukki considers him a friend, which isn’t something he considers about many other people. And they  _ work together _ . What will happen if he screws this up?

While Tsukki is spiraling in his inner turmoil, Akaashi watches. He remembers a time when he wasn’t open with himself, more because of ignorance than fear, but he sympathizes with the blond. “I don’t know if he’s going to be able to come over here, himself, Bokuto,” Akaashi starts quietly, “so please excuse me,” he finishes with a fond look at his boyfriend before walking over to the other side of the bar. 

“Kuroo, could I speak to Tsukki, privately, please?” he asks as he approaches. Tsukki starts, his face white, and grimaces at Akaashi, who only puts a soft hand on Tsukki’s forearm.

He doesn’t miss the look Tsukki gives Kuroo, one that seems to translate as “don’t leave me”, and sighs internally. This isn’t going to be easy, but, he knows that it would have been impossible before Tsukki started sleeping with Kuroo, so he’s willing to put in the work it will take to help Tsukki be comfortable with him.

Kuroo looks at both of them. Their chemistry will be so fascinating when it blooms. 

“Of course,” he says, flashing Tsukki a very subtle look of reassurance, and walks away to chat with Bokuto. He trusts Akaashi with his life, literally, so he doesn't feel bad about leaving them alone. 

Tsukki watches him go and glances at Akaashi before looking back down at his hands. His fingers feel freezing against the bar top. 

“We don’t have to talk about particulars today,” Akaashi says gently, his voice smooth and level. Tsukki looks up at him and Akaashi can see the surprise mixed with gratitude in his eyes.

“O-oh,” Tsukki breathes, feeling immensely relieved. Before he can ask Akaashi why they’re talking now, the other man sits, but keeps his hand on his arm. It feels so warm, even through the fabric of his shirt. 

“I wanted to talk with you, privately, because I want to know what you expect, without the complications of having Bokuto and Kuroo here as well,” Akaashi explains. He keeps his tone neutral. He doesn’t want to speak down to Tsukki and make him angry. “If, after tonight, you still want this, then we can all talk together, about the specifics of a scene, et cetera,” he adds. He lets his eyes travel from Tsukki’s face to his hands and he notices, for the first time, how the other man seems to have picked at the ends of his sleeves, a nervous habit probably. 

“I don’t-” Tsukki says, and Akaashi’s eyes snap back up to meet his. “I don’t know what I expect,” he admits, looking at his hands. For a second Akaashi had seemed a little fascinated by them. “I- I am interested, though,” he adds, his voice rushed and his cheeks red. He watches as Akaashi’s hand slips down to take his and turn it over, and lets his calloused fingers trace over the lines on his palm.

“Do you like pain?” he asks, keeping his voice politely interested. Even so, Tsukki blush starts to travel to his ears and neck, and Akaashi wonders just how far he could make that flush go.

“A- a little, I guess,” Tsukki confesses, his voice a shaking whisper. Akaashi hums and files that away for later; Tsukki’s curious, but apprehensive. He can work with that. “I-is this s-ex? Or…” he trails off and Akaashi sighs at the familiar question. 

“It doesn’t have to be. I don’t usually mix sex with my play, although sometimes I do. It depends on what I, and my partners might want,” he says. Tsukki nods once, jerking his chin down; he still hasn’t looked back at Akaashi, and that’s definitely something that will have to change. “Are you interested in having sex with me?” he asks. Tsukki’s shoulders hunch, like he’s trying to hide his, now, very obvious interest. 

“Yes,” he says, his voice small. Akaashi feels heat pool in his gut but keeps his expression neutral. He understands Kuroo's infatuation with the blond; he must be delicious when he loosens up.

“Good,” Akaashi says. Tsukki’s muscles twitch under his hand and he  _ finally _ looks at him. “The feeling is mutual,” he says, letting his voice turn into a soft purr. A shiver goes through Tsukki and his mouth opens. Akaashi lets himself lean forward, closer into Tsukki’s space without completely crowding him, and gives him a small smile.

“Now, without getting into specifics, what do you want from me?” he asks softly. Tsukki shivers again, his eyes flicking from Akaashi’s eyes to his lips.

“I-” he croaks, his face flaring brighter and his mouth dry. Akaashi reaches and gets his neglected whiskey soda and holds it out for him. Tsukki takes it and sips it, slowly, and clears his throat. Now that his mouth doesn’t feel like it’s full of paper, he says, “I want to watch.”

“What do you want to watch?” Akaashi asks. Tsukki ducks his head, but Akaashi can’t let that happen anymore. He reaches out, lifting Tsukki’s chin with his fingers. “If this isn’t okay, tell me,” he says. 

“I-it’s okay,” Tsukki breathes.

“Do you want to watch Bokuto and me?” Akaashi asks, and Tsukki shrugs a little; Akaashi doesn’t blame him, Bokuto is...an acquired taste. “Kuroo and me?” he tries, and Tsukki nods as much as his fingers allow. “Maybe Bokuto can watch with you, does that sound good?” another shrug, but Akaashi has a feeling that once Tsukki actually sees Bokuto under his hand he’ll warm to the idea.

Akaashi lets silence rest between them. Tsukki looks like he’s on just the right side of overwhelmed, and Akaashi understands that he needs to be delicate. He leans back, letting his fingers linger for another moment before taking his hands back. Tsukki follows for a fraction of a second and, oh, that will be lovely to see when he’s fully relaxed.

“So, is that-” Tsukki breaks the silence, but his eyes stay on Akaashi. “Is that all? For tonight?” he asks. Akaashi tilts his head, considering, and nods once. 

“Yes, I think that will give us something to talk about as a group. You should think about it, though. You can change your mind whenever you like,” Akaashi says, and Tsukki briefly wonders if the other man can read his mind, seen as how he feels completely exposed, like a book that Akaashi can read at his leisure. Akaashi glances over his shoulder and catches Bokuto and Kuroo staring. He sighs, but there’s a smile on the edge of his lips.

“Shall we invite them back over?” he asks, his tone an odd mix of polite neutrality and amusement. Tsukki’s eyes focus over his shoulder and widen; he’d completely forgotten the other men were still in the bar.

“S-sure,” he says, his cheeks hot. He ducks his head back down, looking at the rest of his drink, and this time Akaashi allows it.

The brunette turns to look at the two men at the other end of the bar and calls, “You may come now.”

Kuroo dares to be snarky.

“Oh,  _ may we _ ?” he says, jabbing Bokuto in the side. 

“Oh I dare say we  _ may!”  _ Bokuto hoots with his hand at his chest. They both approach Akaashi and Tsukki as if they were royalty in the movies, with sarcastic curtseys that make Akaashi roll his eyes into his skull.

Tsukki frowns, not sure if he likes the sudden noise after the - moment or whatever he just had with Akaashi. He feels like there’s an electric current under his skin, like he needs to go for a five mile run. 

Kuroo searches Tsukki for a reaction while Bokuto does the same to Akaashi. Kuroo is subtle. Bokuto is not. 

“So…?”

Akaashi sighs. He loves an idiot.

Tsukki bristles and stubbornly sips his drink, keeping his eyes on the bar top. He’s not sure what people see in Bokuto. Sure, he’s attractive, and Tsukki will do...whatever this is with him involved because he figures that he and Akaashi are a package, but he’s not sure what the appeal is.

“So, Tsukki gave me some things to work with, and we’ll talk together, the four of us, in a few days if he’s still interested,” Akaashi explains.

“Ohoh- augh!” Bokuto’s scandalized croon is cut off by Kuroo jabbing a knuckle into his thigh. He slinks his arm over Bokuto’s shoulder, and once he's done cursing, Bokuto winds his arm around Kuroo’s waist. 

“Looking forward to it,” Kuroo purrs. 

Bokuto grins, eyeing up Tsukki and pressing small circles on Kuroo’s side with his fingers. 

“Yeah… can't wait.” Bokuto says, eyes more hooded than usual. 

Tsukki feels like he’s surrounded by wolves, not to mention the fact that he still has too much adrenaline coursing through him. He finishes his drink too fast, grimacing at the taste.

“It’ll be...memorable, I’m sure,” he says dryly, hiding behind his sarcasm and getting his wallet and slipping some money on the bar. “I have an early meeting tomorrow, so, I’ll text you,” he says and grabs his bag. He’s gone within seconds. Akaashi watches him go and then looks at the other two men.

“I thought that went well, but, Kuroo, you’re better at reading him, by now,” Akaashi says, his tone tinged with concern. He’s usually very good at reading people, but that seemed like Tsukki shut down really fast.

“He’s a delicate flower,” Kuroo sighs, “but if you think it went well it did.”

“He just… runs?” Bokuto says, quizzical, swooping up the dollars and closing Tsukki’s tab. 

“Not everyone is as confident as you are, Bokuto,” Akaashi says, although he can’t help but think how this will work if Tsukki runs as soon as there are more than two people in the mix. “We’ll just have to wait and see if he’s still interested, and then we can talk more,” he says. There had been some definite promise tonight in Tsukki’s reactions, but it’s going to be an uphill battle.

“Now, hurry up you two, I want to go home,” Akaashi says, leaning on the bar to wait until the other two are done cleaning.

 

* * *

Tsukki...Tsukki has seen some things in the past few hours. He regrets most of them, and personally never wants to see another man in leather chaps ever again. He needs to take a break. Sighing, he closes his laptop and goes out to the kitchen. Tadashi is on the couch, watching something, but Tsukki focuses on making himself tea rather than paying any attention to the other man. 

He’s not sure if he’s ready to do, well, any of what he just saw. He supposes that a lot of it is embellished, played up and caricatured for the sake of porn, but, to be perfectly honest, he’s not sure he’ll fit in with Akaashi, Kuroo, and Bokuto. Talking to Akaashi last night had been a lot of things--nerve wracking, heart pounding, extremely hot--but fitting into the dynamic of the whole group seems almost impossible.

Rather than hole back up in his room, he goes to the couch and sets his tea on the table. Tadashi immediately opens his arms and Tsukki situates himself against his best friend, resting his head back on his shoulder. He closes his eyes and lets the comfort of being in Tadashi’s arms wash over him.

“What’s on your mind, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi chirps, leaning his cheek onto Tsukki’s head. 

Tsukki shrugs as much as he can in his current position, turning his head to nuzzle at Tadashi’s neck. “I just saw...a lot of bad porn,” he mumbles, too affected to filter. Recently, his involvement with Kuroo has brought a new level to his and Tadashi’s relationship, one where Tadashi isn’t so worried about being delicate around him. He always knew Tadashi slept with men, but now he’s more direct about it, so Tsukki figures telling him about horrible porn won’t shock him.

“What  _ kind _ of horrible porn?” Yamaguchi feels his heartbeat quicken, nervous. Tsukki hasn't brought up sex or anything before. “And what were you looking for in the first place?”

“I- well, it involved chains...and leather,” he says. So much leather. He brings a hand up to his face to rub at his eyes, as if that will make the memories fade faster. “And I was doing research…” he says, trailing off. Tadashi knows that he’s been sleeping with Kuroo, but, there’s a big difference between sleeping with one person and having a fucking foursome.

“Research for Kuroo?” Yamaguchi asks, a little surprised. “He seems like the type to just… show you what he wants.”

Tsukki shakes his head. “No it’s-” he sighs and turns so that he can wrap his arms around Tadashi while still keeping his face hidden. “I might...do something with KurooAkaashiandBokuto,” he says quickly, his arms tight around Tadashi’s waist.

Tadashi perks up immediately. 

“Whoah! Good for you!” he says, excited. “When?”

Tsukki pushes himself up enough to look at Tadashi’s face; he’s sure that he must have heard wrong or something. It’s not that he anticipated judgement from Tadashi, but, enthusiastic support is definitely out of left field.

“That’s it? Good for me?” he asks, searching Tadashi’s face. “That doesn’t- I mean, it’s a fucking  _ foursome _ ,” he hisses, his ears hot.

“Is it?” Tadashi asks genuinely. “Or are you playing? And does it involve all  _ four _ of you? I can't imagine Akaashi wouldn't let you choose who is involved….”

Yamaguchi's face falls with the realization of what just slipped out of his mouth. 

Tsukki stares. He feels like he’s been hit by a truck. “How do you-” he asks, his voice stunned.

“I, uh-” Yamaguchi wonders how much he should hide, “I h-hear Akaashi is… reputable. And any, uh, dom worth their salt… cares about negotiating that kind of thing.”  __

Tsukki isn't sure if he's picking up everything Tadashi is trying to say. “Have you? With Akaashi?” He asks. He can't imagine that, especially considering he doesn't know  _ what _ Akaashi does specifically. He's heard him mention clients, but, what does he actually  _ do with them _ ? 

Yamaguchi rubs the back of his neck. 

“Y-yeah.”

Tsukki's not sure if he's more shocked or curious. He pushes himself back farther and says, “What was it  _ like _ ?” Now that the shock has sunk in somewhat, it's not actually that shocking. He's always known Tadashi wasn't celibate, but he never imagined that Tadashi would be interested in- in  _ that.  _

_ “Well,”  _ Yamaguchi starts, recalling the details, “I did it for my birthday one year. I called him and we booked a sit down where we decided what I wanted and what he would do.”

Yams pauses on purpose, again careful about what he wants to divulge. 

“His dungeon is lovely. All blacks and greys with green accents. Has all sorts of furniture for it… spanking bench, cross, table with rings, loops on the floor and ceiling…”

Tsukki swallows audibly, imagining Akaashi, quiet, reserved, and cool, standing in that room doing unspeakable things.

“...And then he did what we talked about. No more no less. And then you go into another room where there's water, snacks, pillows, blankets… and you come down from it.”

Tsukki feels somewhat relieved with that information. He had the feeling after his conversation with Akaashi that he would have a lot of control, but hearing it from Tadashi is even better.

“Wait, but why the other room?” He asks.

“Play can be… exhausting,” Tadashi says slowly, “and the transition back to reality is rough for most people. So you need care after. And you change rooms to reflect that shift.”

“He does that?” He asks. He'd thought- well, he doesn't know what he'd thought. It makes sense that someone would need to adjust after something so intense, especially considering he needs Kuroo to talk him down so often. 

“He does. Makes you feel secure and good before sending you off,” Yamaguchi recalls fondly, “and if you want you talk about what was good or bad. Especially if you want to play again.”

Tsukki lets himself sink back into Tadashi to absorb this information. He never imagined that he'd be relieved of he found out his best friend is secretly kinky, but here he is.

“Tha-thank you,” he says, mulling over the information. “Thank you for telling me that,” Tsukki knows that he's not the easiest person to talk to, and more often than not he's no help to Tadashi the way Tadashi helps him, and he wants Tadashi to know that he loves him for everything that he does.

“You’re welcome. I'm… proud of you for asking,” Yamaguchi responds fondly. “But from now on you should talk to  _ them _ about it. Akaashi and whomever else is involved, okay?”

Tsukki nods into his shoulder. “I will. We-we’re all going to talk, when I text them to say I’m still interested,” he promises. He should have just talked to them in the first place, but he’s really glad he talked to Tadashi before texting them. After a second he shifts.

“Do I have to move?” he asks, hoping the answer is no.

“I hope not…” Yamaguchi says, tenderly brushing his fingers through Tsukki’s hair. Tsukki leans into the touch with a happy sigh, letting his weight settle more fully onto Tadashi.

 

* * *

Kuroo puts the kettle on in his kitchen. Bokuto and Akaashi should be coming over any minute, and Tsukki is on his couch….and is a disaster. Kuroo wishes he had some way to remind the blond that there isn’t anything to fear, but he doesn’t think Tsukki will listen anyways so he settles for tea.

“Do you...want to talk about what you’re feeling?” he tries, leaning against the kitchen counter.

Tsukki's legs are bouncing with nervous energy and he's staring down at the table in front of him. He keeps trying to remind himself that he has plenty of control here. This is going to be a discussion about what everyone wants, and he can always say that he wants to back out. He can always back out.

“Do I ever?” He snaps. He knows he shouldn’t be taking his nerves out on Kuroo, but he's going to have a hard enough time not mocking Bokuto, he might has well get it out while he can.

“I guess I got used to you being able to,” Kuroo snarks back.  He smooths himself. “If you don't want this then  _ fine  _ and none of us will think different of you. But you  _ have to talk about what you want.” _

“I know that!” Tsukki says, standing and pacing because he has too much energy to continue sitting. “I'm sorry I just-” he forces a sharp breath through his nose.  _ Just act like you’re talking to Tadashi _ , he thinks. 

“I’ve gotten used to talking about this with you. I think - I’ll be okay talking to Akaashi,” he says. He’s going to be intimidated by Akaashi, but the other man is quiet enough that he’ll be able to manage. “I don’t- Bokuto and I aren’t  _ close _ by any means. He’s always so,” Tsukki flutters a hand around trying to find the word to best describe the tornado of messy energy that is Bokuto Koutarou. 

“You three fit together, and you think I will, at least for this, but, I’m having a hard time seeing that,” he admits, staring at Kuroo and desperately hoping that he’ll understand.

Kuroo approaches Tsukki and sets his hands on the blond’s hips. 

“There’s only one way to find out,” Kuroo purrs gently, “Do that when they get here. Also, you've never seen Boku-”

The doorbell rings. Kuroo kisses Tsukki’s neck and gives his hips a squeeze before opening the door. 

“Hey hey hey!” Bokuto not quite shouts, fist bumping Kuroo. He then turns to Tsukki and waves, offering a small “Hi there!”

Tsukki bristles at Bokuto’s loud entrance and gives him a forced nod in return. He doesn’t  _ dislike _ the other man, but, he doesn’t trust that Bokuto won’t tease him how bad he is at this kind of stuff. That’s the problem. He doesn’t  _ trust _ Bokuto.

Akaashi comes in behind his boyfriend and offers Kuroo and Tsukki a warm smile. “We brought some snacks,” he says, holding up a plastic bag. Tsukki looks like he’s in pain already.

Kuroo takes the bag from Akaashi’s and places a chaste kiss on the back of his hand. He goes to the kitchen and starts pulling out plates.  Bokuto scurries over to help. 

“How are you feeling, Tsukki?” Akaashi asks, keeping his voice low, private. Tsukki shrugs, looking off to the side and Akaashi frowns.

“Please, you have to tell us what you’re thinking, Tsukki, so we know how to make this as comfortable as possible for you,” Akaashi says. He brushes his fingers against Tsukki’s cheek and the blond finally looks at him.

“I’m nervous,” Tsukki admits in a whisper. Akaashi smiles and steps forward to kiss the blonde’s cheek. Tsukki's surprised at the gesture, but he's more surprised as how it helps his frayed nerves.

“It's perfectly natural to be nervous,” Akaashi says. He takes off his coat and hangs it on one of the hooks by the door. “Just remember that we all want this, but if you decide that you don't want to do this, none of us will hold that against you,” Akaashi says. He looks towards the kitchen and then to the couch.

“W hy don't we all sit?” Akaashi suggests. He can see Tsukki’s hands shaking as he sits next to Akaashi, who takes one of those trembling hands gently in his own.

“Koutarou was nervous when we first started talking about playing too,” Akaashi says, giving Bokuto a fond look.

Bokuto quickly but visibly collects himself and sits down opposite Akaashi. Kuroo takes his seat next to Bokuto, leaning back and putting his arm along the back of the couch in a relaxed posture. 

“I was nervous to  _ talk _ to you,” Bokuto agrees, “well, Tsukki was there. You remember.”

Tsukki smirks at the memory. “Yeah, it was a little pathetic,” he says, but his voice doesn't hold his usual heat. Akaashi smiles at the memory.

“Just a little,” he says. “But, my point stands. He was nervous too. Kuroo was too, although less so.”

“Even the most smug, cocky douchebags fall at Akaashi’s feet,” Kuroo drawls. Bokuto nods enthusiastically. 

Akaashi’s smile becomes a little sharp and Tsukki shivers. 

“So...how do we do this?” Tsukki asks after a moment. Akaashi looks at Kuroo and Bokuto.

“Well, if one of you would be willing, maybe we could show Tsukki what a scene negotiation is like,” Akaashi suggests.

“One we've done or one we want to do?” Kuroo volunteers. 

“I think for now one we've done works,” Akaashi says. Tsukki looks over at Kuroo and then back to Akaashi. “It's mostly to show Tsukki what negotiation is like.”

Kuroo pauses in thought, weighing which scene to pick.

“I want to co-top Bokuto with you,” he says plainly. 

Bokuto bites his lip. 

_ Shit just like that? _ Tsukki thinks. He turns so that he can see Akaashi better.

Akaashi doesn't look surprised. The look he gives Kuroo and Bokuto is tinged with hunger. 

“And what do you have in mind?” He asks. His voice is calm, clear, and it lights heat in Tsukki’s belly.

“I want to have a relaxing and decadent night with you,” Kuroo says, dark but level, “where he serves us.”

They both look at Bokuto. He nods, and adds quietly, “Yes please.”

Tsukki can't stop his soft gasp. That sounds- it must have been amazing.

“Is there something you'd like to add?” Akaashi asks him. Tsukki's eyes widen at being acknowledged and his cheeks burn.

“That just sounds...interesting,” he murmurs, his eyes on his knees. He feels Akaashi shift and glances up. Akaashi is looking at him like he's the only one on the room. It's unnerving but- Tsukki thinks he could learn to crave that attention.

“Is there something about it in particular that you're interested in?” Akaashi asks. Tsukki shrugs. “Would you like Bokuto to serve you?” Tsukki glances at the silver haired man and, the idea isn't as unappealing as he might have imagined. “Or would you be interested in serving?” Akaashi presses. 

“I-” Tsukki croaks, and realizes that his mouth is dry. He reaches for his water and takes a small sip before trying again. “I'm not sure,” he admits.

Akaashi smiles at Bokuto and Kuroo while Tsukki glances down again. The blonde’s cheeks are lovely when they're flushed with color. He gives Kuroo a pointed look.

“I can't imagine him in that scene,” Kuroo says, thinking, “but I can imagine him as your shadow…” he looks at Tsukki, “or bent over a spanking bench.”

“Well, we already had that scene. I would love to have you as my shadow Tsukki, but would  _ you _ be interested in that?” Akaashi asks the blond. Tsukki looks up at Kuroo, to Bokuto, and finally Akaashi. His blush starts to creep down his neck and to his ears.

“The...sp-span-king bench,” he breathes. Akaashi’s smile gets wider.

Kuroo’s mind is filled with the thought of Tsukki bent over and screaming with pain, getting to kiss his beaten violet thighs and ass.  

Bokuto’s voice interrupts him.

“What about Kuroo?”

Akaashi looks between Bokuto and Kuroo, then at Tsukki. “Perhaps, you and I could start, Bokuto,” he starts, his voice slow as his organizes his thoughts. Bokuto nods. Akaashi continues, “Tsukki and Kuroo can watch, and then, we can show Tsukki the spanking bench.” Tsukki hadn’t seemed so excited about the idea of watching Akaashi and Bokuto in the bar, but, the brunette would prefer that Tsukki have a safe anchor in Kuroo for his first time observing a scene.

Tsukki stiffens, embarrassed at how his cock twitches at the thought of that happening. Kuroo, tuned in to every motion of the blondes svelte body, grins.

“And perhaps, Kuroo, your role can be to keep Tsukki comfortable, and reduce his risk of dropping,” Akaashi finishes.

“Dropping?” Tsukki asks. Akaashi turns to him, his face suddenly very serious; it sends a shiver down Tsukki’s spine.

“Yes, after a scene, especially for people just starting, it's possible to sink into a depression, to be scared and ashamed of what they just did in the scene,” Akaashi explains. Tsukki feels his anxiety pitch and Akaashi takes his hands, bringing his fingers to his lips for a gentle kiss.

“We will do everything in our power to make sure you have a good time, Tsukki,” he says. “After the scene we will stay to make sure that we all come down from the scene feeling safe and satisfied.”

“You'll make me feel secure...and good, after,” Tsukki says, remembering Tadashi's fond look from before when he had described Akaashi’s after care.

“Yes,” Kuroo says to Tsukki, but very subtly touching Bokuto’s arm, which is also on the back of the couch. He leans into Kuroo very slightly. Kuroo continues, “and then we talk about what was good and not so good to use for next time.”

Tsukki nods, watching Kuroo’s hand on Bokuto’s arm. He twists the ends of his sleeves in his fingers and after second he says, “I don't- I don't like feeling exposed.”

Akaashi hums his acknowledgement and looks over at Kuroo and Bokuto.

“I don't have a problem letting you stay as clothed as you need to stay comfortable,” he says. “We can always pause the scene to renegotiate, if we need to,” he adds.

“If Bokuto is going to hit you, you might want the fabric there anyways,” Kuroo purrs. 

Bokuto shoves him a little, muttering a flattered, soft, “Bro--!” then he looks cautiously at Tsukki. “Would you want that?”

If Tsukki is honest, he's not as put off by the idea as he thought he would be. Even still, he shrugs. “I-I guess,” he says, wincing when it comes out as a question. 

“Is that something  _ you  _ want, Bokuto?” Akaashi asks. He knows, they had talked about the possibility of Bokuto playing directly with Tsukki, but he wants Tsukki to hear if from Bokuto.

“Well yeah,” Bokuto says as if it's obvious, “especially if you would order me to. But only if you want it, Tsukki.”

Tsukki squirms a little at the idea, at the attention, and he nods. “I can always change my mind, right?” He asks, looking at the three men under his lashes.

“Absolutely,” Akaashi says. He cannot wait to see Tsukki broken down and begging for Bokuto’s hand.

“Is there anything anyone specifically doesn't want?” Kuroo says. Bokuto shakes his head softly. 

Akaashi gives Tsukki an expectant look. The blond shrugs, not sure what to say.

“I don't- uh, humiliation,” he says after thinking for a minute. He'd seen some awful porn in the last couple of days, but the worst blindsided him with the top telling the bottom that he was disappointing, not worth his time and effort; he had closed out of the window and curled up on his side breathing hard in all the wrong ways. “I can't do that,” he says.

“Understood,” Akaashi says. “Is there anything you don't want, Kuroo?” He asks.

“Don’t keep me from him for long,” Kuroo says softly, “just for this first time.”

Tsukki flushes, ducking his head to hide his smile. It’s kind of amazing, with just that response, Tsukki’s nerves are calmer than they have been in a while. After all of his time with Kuroo, he knows and trusts that the other man will make sure he’s okay, make sure that he’s safe. Akaashi smiles as well.

“Well then, shall we set a date and time?” he asks, voice light. “I know that Tsukki and I have a wedding to play at in a few days, but other than that, my evenings are free. I think it comes down to you two,” Akaashi says. Tsukki nods his agreement; he doesn’t have any other plans.

“I can get off Wednesday,” Bokuto says, recalling his schedule. Without looking, his hand comes up to lightly and wordlessly fist bump Kuroo’s. 

“So Wednesday,” Kuroo recalls, “six?”

Tsukki nods as Akaashi says “Six it is then.”

 

* * *

Tsukki isn’t going to admit this out loud, but when Tadashi had called Akaashi’s play room a dungeon, he had imagined...well, a cartoonish dungeon, not the back office of a house. It’s still an intimidating room, but, that’s mostly due to the furniture and not torches lining the walls. Even still, the room has an intimidating air in it, especially with Akaashi standing in front of them.

Bokuto is already subdued somewhat, standing with his arms behind his back. He's wearing a track jacket and lounge pants. He looks comfortable enough, and, well, attractive if Tsukki is completely honest with himself.

But Akaashi - he looks delectable. He's wearing a rather loose fitting tunic, but the arms are tailored to fit tightly against his wrists, and the back neckline swoops low enough that Tsukki had caught a tantalizing glimpse of his lower back. His pants are tight, tight enough that Tsukki thinks they  _ must  _ be uncomfortable, but Akaashi moves as if he's wearing silk.

“Well, the last thing, before we begin, is safe words. Kuroo and Bokuto are both familiar with the green, yellow, red system, Tsukki, are you?” Akaashi asks. His voice is...not  _ that _ different, but, perhaps he's pitched it a bit lower? Either way, it's already sending chills through Tsukki as he shakes his head slowly.

“Remember, we need  _ verbal _ communication,” Akaashi reminds him patiently, and Tsukki’s cheeks warm.

“N-no, I'm sorry,” he whispers. The room, the commanding air Akaashi has compared to his usual aloofness, it's already getting to him. 

Kuroo places his hand on the small of Tsukki’s back, but keeps his eyes on Akaashi. 

Akaashi steps forward, enough into his space that he can feel warmth radiating off his skin, enough that he can slowly take one of Tsukki’s hands, slow enough that Tsukki knows he can pull away, and bring it to his lips.

“You don't have to apologize for not knowing something, Tsukki,” Akaashi’s eyes travel to Kuroo’s; the affirmation from his regular partner will help reinforce that statement.

“That's right,” Kuroo assures softly. 

“You are new to all of this, and you are our guest. The only thing you will ever have to apologize for is  _ willful _ disobedience to me,” Akaashi purrs, his lips brushing against Tsukki’s skin and spreading warmth over his freezing hand.

Akaashi steps back over to Bokuto, and with one touch to the silver haired man’s shoulder, Bokuto is on his knees. Akaashi stands behind him.

“Now, if any of us need the scene to stop completely and to move directly to aftercare, we say  _ red _ . The scene stops, whatever equipment someone might be restrained to or with is removed, and we go into the other room to calm down. Then we discuss what made the scene need to end,” Akaashi explains. “Then we move to aftercare, and make sure that everyone feels safe and confident before leaving. That can take as long as anyone needs,” Akaashi says, gesturing to the door at the other side of the room. Tsukki nods, knowing this is all for his benefit, but appreciating the fact that Akaashi is still addressing all of them.

“If, for whatever reason, any of us needs to pause, to collect ourselves, to renegotiate, we will say  _ yellow _ . Think of this as a way to keep yourself feeling safe and comfortable,” Akaashi says. “None of us will judge for using any safe words, because they are there to keep all of us safe and happy,” Akaashi pauses, and this time he looks right at Tsukki, so that the blond knows this next direction is for him.

“If at any time, I feel as though you are holding back on a safe word because you don't want to ruin the scene for the rest of us, I will end it. Your safety in this room is my  _ main concern _ ,” he says, his tone leaving no room for argument. “Is that understood?”

“Yes,” Tsukki breathes. Akaashi’s mouth quirks into a pleased smile at Tsukki’s response and he looks down at Bokuto.

“Good,” he says, and  _ god  _ Tsukki wants to hear him say that to him over and over. They haven't even done anything. Akaashi strokes his fingers through Bokuto’s hair and then he grabs, pulling the man’s head back.  A grimace tinges Bokuto’s face, but quickly smooths into composure. 

“Throughout the scene, we will check in with each other, asking for a color,” Akaashi says, leaning so that he can speak into Bokuto’s ear, “what is your color, Koutarou?”

“Green, Keiji,” Bokuto says firmly, seriously, with the faintest bit of breathlessness.

Tsukki can hear Kuroo’s steadying exhale. 

“The voyeur perch is over there,” Kuroo says, indicating a large iron wrought papasan chair with a dark green cushion in the corner of the room, “ready to go?”

Tsukki turns just enough to see it and nods. “Yeah,” he says after a second and let's Kuroo lead him over.

“Your choice,” Kuroo offers, “we can curl up together or you can have the chair to yourself. Either way I'll be close and talking to you.”

“Ah, together,” Tsukki says quietly. He lets Kuroo settle first and then situates himself so that he's pressed into Kuroo’s side. It'll be easy enough for him to tuck his face into Kuroo’s shoulder if he needs to, but for now he watches as Akaashi circles around to Bokuto’s front.

“Koutarou, darling, on the cross please,” Akaashi says, smoothing his fingers through Bokuto’s hair gently.

Bokuto looks up, eyes wide, hesitating. He opens his mouth to speak and then closes it. Akaashi raises a brow, beckoning him to speak.

“I...have I done something wrong, Keiji?” he asks softly, gazing up at the man with big gold eyes.

Tsukki shifts, eyes rapt on the two men. 

“No, you haven't. You are doing wonderfully,” Akaashi says with a soft smile. “I want to hear the sounds you make for the nine tails,” he explains.

Bokuto nods, standing and stepping over to the x-shaped cross in the corner parallel to Tsukki and Kuroo. He faces Akaashi with his eyes on the floor. 

“Good boy,” Akaashi purrs. “Shirt off and turn around,” he instructs as he turns to a wall laden with different floggers and restraints. Bokuto strips off his track jacket, revealing his broad chest already littered with small, slightly faded bruises. He turns and faces the cross obediently, resisting the urge to peek at which implement Akaashi will choose. 

Tsukki watches as Akaashi picks up a large flogger with lots of heavy looking strips of leather. The blonde winces.

“That's what he's going to get for being _ good _ ?” Tsukki whispers to Kuroo. 

“That one is our favorite,” Kuroo whispers against the blond’s cheek. “It’s heavy, wide, and soft, so the pain isn't sharp. It feels… deep. It's hard to explain but it feels  _ good. _ Keep watching.”

Akaashi tucks the flogger under his arm and looks Bokuto over for a few moments. He steps forward and presses a kiss into Bokuto’s shoulder.

“This is just a warm up, Koutarou, so I expect that you can just hold onto the restraints,” he says, quietly enough that he knows Tsukki and Kuroo can't hear him. 

All of Bokuto’s muscles set, relaxed, and he breathes back, “Thank you, Keiji.” he reaches up

“Count out the strokes for me, darling,” he says a little louder, stepping back and holding the handle of the flogger with one hand and the tips of the leather in the other. After a deep breath, he swings his arm in a gentle arc, the leather making solid contact across Bokuto’s back with a dull sound. He hisses, his body flexes out, muscles lighting up with sensation.

Tsukki sucks in a hard breath, his fingers clenching into Kuroo’s shirt.

Akaashi repeats the motion, letting the flogger fall on Bokuto’s shoulders, his back. He keeps his pace steady before stopping. “Color?” he asks. Tsukki feels like he’s out of breath already, and he’s just sitting there and  _ watching _ .

“Green,” Bokuto says, breathy but clearly. His shoulders tense in anticipation of the impact, and he grips the leather straps on the cross. 

Kuroo presses a kiss to Tsukki’s temple, gentle and slow. Sitting here with Tsukki, his hand fisted in his shirt, able to see his pulse thrum against the delicate flesh of his throat, is spreading fire beneath Kuroo’s skin. It’s the first time Kuroo has seen Tsukki turned on about something not involving him. 

“How about you?” he breathes, “Color?”

Tsukki jumps at the question, looking from Kuroo to where Akaashi is kissing gently over Bokuto’s shoulder. “G-green,” he says slowly, letting the word get comfortable under his skin. He stares back at Akaashi, unable to take his gaze of the violinist for more than a moment.

Akaashi steps back, going back over to the wall with the floggers. This time he picks a cat of nine. The ends lack the stereotypical metal spikes. Instead the thin leather is tied into knots at the ends. He holds the handle of the larger flogger in his free hand and raises the cat in a graceful arch, letting the tips brush sharply against Bokuto’s flesh. 

Bokuto arches back with a sharp “Ah-!” and nearly lets go of the cross, but catches himself. Akaashi puts a gentle hand on Bokuto’s shoulder before stepping back again.

Tsukki hisses at the red lines the implement leaves leave. Kuroo winces reflexively but a grin spreads across his face. 

“He uses that one when he wants us to get vocal,” Kuroo purrs, “I handle it differently than Bokuto.”

Tsukki squirms as Akaashi hits Bokuto with the cat again. “How do you handle it?” he asks, his voice strangled. 

“Don’t forget to count,” Akaashi reminds Bokuto before he switches back to the flogger and gives Bokuto three hits in quick succession.

“Six! Seven, e-eight!” Bokuto forces out. Akaashi stops, letting his boyfriend catch his breath. Tsukki can hear him say “Good boy” and a shiver goes up his spine.

Kuroo licks his lips. “Say the word and you can see yourself,” he whispers, “but for starters, I wouldn't count.”

Tsukki shudders, his fingers clenching tighter to Kuroo’s shirt. He starts to ask why Kuroo wouldn’t count, especially considering Akaashi’s warning about willful disobedience, but he gets distracted by Akaashi bringing the cat down again on Bokuto’s shoulder.

“Something to say, babe?” Kuroo purrs, “You might have to get used to talking through  _ distractions _ ” Tsukki scowls, but his eyes are on Akaashi and Bokuto.

“It just seems like you’re asking- asking for trouble if you don’t count,” he grits out.

Bokuto’s hands fall from the cross, gripping it in front of his chest.  He hangs his head low. Akaashi steps forward, kissing Bokuto’s shoulder.

“You’ve done so well for me, Koutarou,” he says, “color?”

“Green, please, Keiji-” Bokuto breathes. 

“It  _ is _ asking for trouble,” Kuroo explains, voice dark, pressing his hand to along the inside of Tsukki’s thigh. “Now, imagine what my apologies to Akaashi might look and sound like.”

A moan slips past Tsukki’s lips and his hips press towards Kuroo’s fingers.

Akaashi guides Bokuto to turn, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. 

“You're so beautiful, Koutarou, you've done so well,” Akaashi says, letting his voice carry so Kuroo and Tsukki can hear him despite his back being turned towards them. Tsukki chokes back a whine;  _ he _ wants Akaashi’s soft praise.

“Tell me, what does Tsukki look like? Do you think he's ready?” Akaashi asks. Tsukki shivers in Kuroo’s arms, his eyes locked on Bokuto, who visibly sinks into Akaashi’s touch. It's clear the silver haired man wants more. 

“He has to tell you himself,” Kuroo calls back, squeezing Tsukki’s thigh reassuringly. 

Akaashi sends a look to Kuroo that clearly says ‘I know that’, and then his eyes lock with Tsukki’s. The blonde freezes in Kuroo’s arms under Akaashi’s gaze before tucking his chin down, breaking eye contact.

“So pretty when he's shy,” Akaashi says to Bokuto, as he cards his fingers through his hair.

Bokuto leans into the touch and whines softly. His gold eyes snap open and first look at the dark heat in Akaashi’s eyes, then to Tsukki. Through his haze, he thinks the blond looks good, curled up with Kuroo, but he’s more interested in Akaashi’s fingers in his hair, coaxing him further down into the quiet of subspace. 

Kuroo tips Tsukki’s head up and directs his attention to Bokuto. 

“Look at his eyes…” Kuroo breathes. Tsukki looks and shivers. Bokuto is usually a hurricane, but right now he is still waters awaiting a downpour. Tsukki finally thinks he  _ gets _ it.

“I-” he starts, his voice weak. “I'm not ready,” he says.

Akaashi’s fingers tighten in Bokuto’s hair, causing a moan to slip past Bokuto’s lips before he can compose himself, but he otherwise doesn't react. “Do you want to keep watching?”

Tsukki nods before he remembers himself. “Yes, please,” he says. Akaashi smiles but doesn't move as an idea occurs to him.

“Tsukki, would you like to get a closer look?” He asks. Tsukki watches as he trails his slender fingers over some of the marks that peek over Bokuto’s shoulder and he can't stop the whine that comes out of him.

“Y-yes please,” he whispers. He disentangles himself from Kuroo and walks over to Bokuto slowly, as if walking towards a hurt animal. He can feel his pulse in the faint bruises he still has from Kuroo, the ones that are basically gone. 

Once he's standing in front of Bokuto he looks back at Kuroo. He's not sure what he's allowed to do, and he feels vulnerable without Kuroo’s heat around him. Akaashi walks to Tsukki and guides him forward, taking one of his hands and putting it on Bokuto’s shoulder, right at the junction of his shoulder and neck. Bokuto barely winces at the contact, Tsukki’s fingers brushing over one of his fresh welts. There is a moment of fresh, sharp pain, before descending into the bone deep ache that fills him.

Bokuto can immediately tell the difference between Akaashi’s sure, confident, touches and Tsukki’s hesitant fingertips. He manages to keep in his noise of distress - he wants Akaashi’s firm hand keeping him down in the quiet - but can’t stop rocking into Tsukki’s touch, craving more pressure against his skin.

“Tell him what it feels like, Koutarou,” Akaashi says, once again threading his fingers into Bokuto’s hair. It takes Bokuto a few seconds to process the order, and when he does he frowns. He’s not good at describing things, not like this, not when listening to anything besides Akaashi’s tenor takes a second.

“Keiji, please, I'm not good with wo-” 

Akaashi grabs Bokuto’s hair again, pulling his head back to better expose the long expanse of his throat. He brings his free hand up and presses his fingers right against the base of Bokuto’s neck, a clear warning.

“Think about this, Koutarou, do you really want to make me ask  _ twice? _ ” He asks. His tone sends cold fear and hot arousal through Tsukki, while sending a streak of terror through Bokuto at the thought of disappointing him.

“It’s h-hot,” Bokuto stammers, his muscles tense again with the effort. “O-overwhelm-ing…feels… so much…”

“So much...what?” Akaashi presses, his lips brushing against the muscles in Bokuto’s neck. The sub whines, blinking up at the ceiling because he doesn’t  _ know _ right now.

“Does it-” Tsukki cuts himself off when he realizes that Akaashi is talking. He ducks his chin and mumbles “sorry”, but Akaashi takes the hand on Bokuto’s throat and reaches to lift his chin.

“Don't apologize for speaking, Tsukki,” he says, his voice like honey. “What did you want to say?”

“D-does it last?” Tsukki asks Bokuto, his eyes hungry on the marks he can see.

When Bokuto breathes “ _ Yes,”  _ it is ‘I hope so’ and ‘I don't care’ and ‘give me more’ all at once; he wants this feeling to last forever, he always does.

Tsukki’s fingers clench and he swallows around the lump in his throat. Akaashi watches quietly, waiting for Tsukki to make the next move. Tsukki looks back at Kuroo and then down at his legs. The marks Kuroo had left...he'd been able to milk their pain for  _ days _ .

“I - want to be s-spanked,” Tsukki says.

Kuroo appears, silently and suddenly behind Tsukki. He locks eyes with Akaashi. 

Bokuto’s eyes flutter closed. Tsukki asking to be spanked means that he’ll be able to stand by and take Akaashi’s orders.

Akaashi steps back from Bokuto, and before Bokuto can really mourn the loss of his warmth, he takes his arm and guides him to the side, giving Kuroo a chance to speak with Tsukki in semi privacy. 

“Tetsurou, please help Tsukki get comfortable on the bench,” he says, his voice low and dark with promise. Tsukki doesn’t try to suppress the shivers that run through him when he turns to look at Kuroo.

Kuroo takes Tsukki’s hand and leads him a few steps away to a piece of furniture that looks like a cushioned sawhorse.

“Kneel here and here,” he explains, pointing to the sides, “and lean your chest here.”

Tsukki stares down at the bench, and then over to where Akaashi is talking to Bokuto. He looks back at the bench. Despite the fact that he's still wearing clothes, he knows that he's going to be extremely vulnerable on  _ that _ . He takes a breath.

“I don't know…” he says. 

“If you want, instead of kneeling all the way you can stand and bend over,” Kuroo explains, leaning on the bench, “I recommend at least doing that. Taking a spanking standing straight up is a  _ bitch.” _

He steps up to Tsukki and kisses him softly, his hands firmly on the blonde’s hips. Tsukki leans into the kiss as much as he can, his shaking hands gripping Kuroo’s shoulders. “I'll be right in front of you, babe. And you don't have to do anything you don't want to.”

Tsukki nods, stepping back and giving the bench another look before scowling. He leans over, bracing his arms against the cushion, his entire body strung tight. He doesn’t even notice Akaashi until the man is behind him, gently touching his back with soft hands. He starts, about to stand when Akaashi’s hands press just enough for him to understand ‘stay’.

“If you clench all of your muscles, it will hurt more,” Akaashi says, smoothing his hands over Tsukki’s back gently. He can feel the blonde shaking and he sighs. “Relax, for me, Tsukki,” he says, in the voice he knows makes men bend to his will. Tsukki takes a deep breath, focusing on Akaashi’s touch, and lets his shoulders and back relax slowly as he breathes out.

“Good boy,” Akaashi praises, smiling at Kuroo when Tsukki whines.

Kuroo gapes at Akaashi with reverence and awe and hunger, waiting for his next move. He is distracted by a low, soft, barely audible groan from Bokuto. Akaashi turns back to where he left Bokuto, a knowing look on his face. On anyone else the expression would be called smug.

“I did not forget you, darling,” Akaashi says, beckoning Bokuto with a crooked finger.

“And you, Tetsurou, in position please,” he says over his shoulder. He doesn’t bother watching, confident that Kuroo will mind him.

Kuroo rounds the spanking bench and kneels so that his mouth easily meets Tsukki’s. He has full reign to do what he wants here, unlike Bokuto, who comes when called and stands, head down and hands behind his back, next to Akaashi.

Tsukki looks at Kuroo, his face bright red and full of anxiety. He jumps with a sharp gasp when Akaashi touches his back again.

“Do you remember your safe word?” Akaashi asks. His tone is gentle, like he's speaking to a spooked deer. Tsukki nods, fingers clenching tight on the bench’s padding.

“Use your words,” Kuroo purrs, in  _ his  _ voice that makes men bend to his will. It is subtle and soothing like Akaashi’s, but where his tone leaves no room for question, Kuroo’s leads one to believe the person has a choice. 

Both, in their own ways, command absolute devotion. 

Bokuto’s knees buckle slightly at the sound of Kuroo’s dominant voice. His mind flashes to another foggy night, with him on his knees, serving, ignored until he had a purpose, without his permission. He recovers quickly, hoping Akaashi didn't notice. But then, of course he does.

“That's hardly fair to poor Koutarou, Tetsurou,” Akaashi says, turning to cup Bokuto’s cheek in his hand. His fingers scratch at the hair on his temple, a loving gesture, before pulling it gently. Bokuto turns his head so as to encourage the gentle scratching, a bold move considering he’s not in control. Akaashi allows it, smiling indulgently. Distantly, Bokuto thinks that he should be indignant, that Akaashi is poking fun at him, but he can’t find the extra energy to  _ care _ when Akaashi is touching him so much.

Tsukki can't help but choke out a short laugh, glad that he's not the only one so affected by these two, the tension once again leaving his shoulders.

“Yes,” he says, giving Kuroo a weak smile. Akaashi situates himself behind Bokuto and he presses kisses and bites into his shoulders.

“Color?” Akaashi asks the room between bites to Bokuto’s flesh.

“G-green,” Tsukki says.

“Green,” chime Kuroo and Bokuto in unison, both sure, both ravenous. Akaashi smiles, eager to hear the sounds Tsukki makes.

“Bokuto, touch his back, so he can feel the difference between your hand and mine,” Akaashi instructs, pressing Bokuto forward with gentle fingers. Tsukki bites his lip, closing his eyes in anticipation.

Bokuto presses his fingertips to Tsukki’s shoulders and slides down towards his tailbone. Where Akaashi’s touches were feather light, with his magnetism giving them weight, Bokuto is  _ heavy.  _ Despite his efforts not to be too heavy handed, even his caresses are strong, body powerful despite his position. 

Tsukki tries to bite back his whine but he can’t. He’s not sure if he’s shying away or pushing into Bokuto’s hands, but it’s at once too much and not enough. Akaashi watches quietly, letting both men acclimate, before lining himself up with Bokuto’s side.

“Remember, Koutarou, this is Tsukki’s first time, let’s start slowly,” Akaashi says. He twists his fingers into Bokuto’s hair, grabbing gently. The small sparks of pain center him. “I’ll remind you in case you get ahead of yourself,” he says, and it’s a promise that starts goosebumps prickling up Tsukki’s skin.

Kuroo caresses Tsukki’s arm, grinning at the goosebumps.  _ Called it.  _

“Understood?” Akaashi asks. He knows that Bokuto would never hurt Tsukki, but, he can be exuberant, and Tsukki knows that.

Bokuto’s finger tips curl in slightly, grabbing the meat at the top of Tsukki’s ass. It’s surprising how much he wants to make this good for Tsukki. If he does well, Tsukki will want to play again, maybe, and he brings out something  _ different _ in Akaashi. His hips twist despite himself. 

“Understood, Keiji.” Bokuto breathes. His fingers sweep away from Tsukki’s flesh before coming back with enough force to leave a slight sting on his palm.

Tsukki’s shout surprises him as Bokuto’s hand meets his ass squarely. His body jerks forward and the bench catches him. Akaashi was right; tensing  _ does  _ make it hurt more. His eyes shoot open as he gasps for breath. Bokuto is - shit his touch is so different from Akaashi’s.

“ _ Very good _ , Koutarou,” Akaashi praises. Bokuto whines quietly, the praise filling every inch of him with warmth. 

Tsukki is a delicious sight to behold, gasping for breath and unable to stop the extra jerk of his hips. A weak, gasping whine bubbles from Tsukki’s throat at the praise. 

“Lower now, so he’ll feel it when he sits tomorrow,” Akaashi says.

“Akaashi, darling,” Kuroo purrs critically, “have you gotten so ahead of yourself you've forgotten to warm him  _ up _ ?” Tsukki whimpers; he  _ wants  _ to feel it tomorrow. Bokuto looks at Kuroo, shocked that he would question Akaashi so boldly.

“Not at all, Tetsurou,” Akaashi croons back. “I only meant the placement, not how hard. Next time I’ll be clearer,” he explains. He takes a breath to center himself; Kuroo called him out, which is good, he was about to get ahead of himself.

Kuroo is moderately shocked that Akaashi didn't just come smack him in the mouth for questioning him.  _ Is this the effect Tsukki has?  _ He wonders. 

Bokuto obeys, pulling his arm back only a little and slapping the meat of Tsukki’s ass just above his thighs. 

“Fuck,” Tsukki grunts. The slap was practically nothing but he feels it radiate through him. He wants  _ more _ . “Please,” he breathes. Akaashi raises his brows at Kuroo, a go ahead to ask instead of him.

“ _ Please what?”  _ Kuroo growls. 

Bokuto almost answers, that  _ voice _ making him want to get on his knees and serve. Instead he pulls his hand off of Tsukki’s ass. 

“More, please,” Tsukki whines, his hips moving back, trying to follow Bokuto’s hand. 

“Same place, and by all means, give him  _ more _ ,” Akaashi purrs into Bokuto’s ear.

Bokuto chokes back a moan and spanks Tsukki five times in succession, keeping the same mild amount of force each time. Tsukki’s manages to keep quiet for the first two blows, but the third brings a desperate moan, broken by the other two. He turns his face into his shoulder, gasping for breath. He’s not sure what feels hotter, his cheeks or his ass. Still, still he knows that Bokuto is holding back.

“I don’t know about you, Tetsurou, but I think he’s handling it  _ well _ ,” Akaashi says. Tsukki doesn’t want to consider the sound he makes a sob, but it’s a near thing.

“I agree,” Kuroo says, level, looking at Tsukki’s tense face. “Ready for something harder?” 

“Ye-yes, ple-please,” he chokes, nodding into his shoulder. 

“Mmm, give him three, alternate sides,” Akaashi hums. He scratches his nails over Bokuto’s scalp.

Bokuto does as told, and the force on the final one is enough to jolt Tsukki forward on the bench. 

Tsukki loses his hold on the bench, falling forward onto his stomach with a pained grunt. Akaashi grips Bokuto’s hair, pulling just enough to make the silver haired man wince and step back. He whispers a soft “Sorry, Keiji,” but Akaashi smoothes his other hand down his side. He hasn’t completely fucked up, the pull on his hair was a reminder.

“Are you okay, Tsukki?” he asks. Tsukki pushes himself back up, nodding slowly. His ego is bruised more than anything. He feels like he’s come back down from...something, he’s not sure what.

“What do you need?” Kuroo asks, caressing Tsukki’s cheek. 

Tsukki shakes his head, mouth in a tight, embarrassed, line. He resettles fully on the bench and mumbles, “Nothing, I'm fine.”

“Do you want to continue, Tsukki?” Akaashi asks, unconsciously loosening his hold on Bokuto’s hair. The edge of tension in the room is gone. 

“Yes,” Tsukki says. Part of him wants to figure out what he just came out of, but a bigger part just wants to get back there.

“Then let’s begin,” Akaashi says, his voice cloyingly sweet. Tsukki’s eyes flutter closed as he feels himself start to fall back into this unknown territory.

 

* * *

Tsukki’s not sure how long it’s been since they started again. His ass and thighs are on  _ fire _ despite the layer of clothing between his skin and Bokuto’s hand. He can feel the tears on his cheeks, but rather than be embarrassed about it, he feels - he’s not sure what he feels. Free, maybe? Relaxed, at the very least, which he knows is strange considering the fact that Bokuto has been beating his ass and thighs black and blue for the past however long. Through his own heavy breathing he can hear Akaashi saying something. His eyes blink open and Kuroo’s concerned face comes into view, fuzzy at first and then clearer.

“Tetsurou?” someone asks, their voice broken and hoarse from screaming. With a jolt, Tsukki realizes that the voice is  _ his _ . His surroundings, so blurry and distant before, start to come back to him and he glances behind him. Akaashi and Bokuto are looking at him, their expressions...they’re confusing and Tsukki doesn’t have the energy to try and puzzle out what they mean.

“Yeah, yeah, Kei, are you with me?” Kuroo asks, his fingers cold where they brush against Tsukki’s burning cheeks; they feel amazing against his skin.

“I-” Tsukki croaks. His throat is rough and dry and he stands a little on weak, tired legs. He feels Bokuto’s hands steady him and he can’t help but feel that he shouldn’t need it. He shouldn’t be this tired. Akaashi comes into his line of sight as he helps Kuroo stand, and it’s not long before Kuroo is holding Tsukki up rather than Bokuto.

“Shall we move to the other room?” Akaashi asks, and Tsukki’s conversation with Tadashi comes back to him.

“We-we’re done?” he rasps. He doesn’t remember screaming so much, but his voice is all but  _ gone _ . 

“Yeah, we’re done,” Kuroo says, his voice gentle. Tsukki finds himself nodding as Kuroo basically carries him into the next room. 

The lighting is soft and unobtrusive against Tsukki’s eyes, which he appreciates as his brain starts to work in overdrive. What had just happened? He feels like he’s coming out of a deep fog, and, and, he shouldn’t be this  _ affected _ . He’s deep enough in his own thoughts to miss the concerned looks shared by the three other men, but Bokuto’s firm grip on his shoulders, levering him down so that he can gingerly sit on one of the plush couches, brings him back to the present.

“It’s okay,” Bokuto says, his voice softer than Tsukki can ever remember hearing it. Bokuto sits and pulls Tsukki into his lap, causing the blond to hiss.

“You’re coming down from subspace, so you’re going to be a little lost,” Bokuto explains, his voice gentle but absolute. Tsukki’s not sure what to make of the relief that washes over him because it seems like Bokuto knows what’s going on with him. He leans harder into the silver haired man’s body, forcing his breathing to match Bokuto’s.

“Subspace?” he whispers.

“Yeah, that’s what it’s called, when all the chemicals are firing every-fucking-where in your head,” Bokuto says, and the words are so Bokuto, but his tone is gentle. “I get all floaty, and I lose time sometimes, if the scene is intense enough,” he offers. 

“Oh,” is all Tsukki can think to say. It’s a comfort to know that what he’s feeling seems to be normal, but, Bokuto doesn’t seem to be that affected, and...He glances over to Kuroo and sees Akaashi curled up in Kuroo’s lap, his head tucked into his shoulder. Kuroo’s fingers are trailing over the bare parts of Akaashi’s back gently, and they aren’t saying anything. Tsukki doesn’t think he’d ever be able to react that quietly to anything.

_...that’s why Kuroo has so many partners _ , Tsukki thinks. Kuroo talks him down, but it’s enough to just sit with Akaashi quietly, no words necessary.

“I haven’t seen Akaashi this affected in a long time,” Bokuto’s voice breaks through Tsukki’s thoughts and he realizes that he’s been staring at Kuroo and Akaashi. He turns his face away, cheeks red.

“What are you talking about?” Tsukki asks, trying to make his voice impatient, but he can’t seem to manage. Bokuto gives him a look that says he knows what Tsukki is trying to do, but rather than call him out he shrugs.

“I mean, look at him. You did that,” Bokuto says. Tsukki looks back over and realizes that despite the quiet stillness on the other couch, Akaashi’s back is heaving with deep breaths. He feels a shiver go through him and he nods before pushing himself out of Bokuto’s lap. He feels more like himself, which is a relief, and he appreciates Bokuto’s calming him down before his anxiety took over completely, but he’s not sure if he’s ready to be cuddly with him. He does miss the warmth already, though.

“Water?” Bokuto asks the room.

Akaashi nods slowly, not looking up from Kuroo’s shoulder. Kuroo kisses the top of Akaashi’s head and smiles softly at Bokuto. 

When Bokuto comes back with the water, Akaashi finally separates from Kuroo to down it. Kuroo follows suit, and Akaashi gazes at him tenderly for a moment before climbing out of his lap. He takes a deep breath and stretches back, arms up and out like the bird of prey Kuroo compared him to for Tsukki. He saunters lazily to Bokuto and sits on his lap, knees on either side of his strong, thick thighs, tucking his head into Bokuto’s neck.

Bokuto’s hands immediately wrap around Akaashi, resting on his hips and pulling his shirt up, just enough to touch his bare skin. He wastes no time in pressing kisses into Akaashi’s neck and shoulder. 

Tsukki watches quietly, drinking his water more slowly than the others. He’s- he feels better, he’s not as lost as before, but, he’s not sure where things are going now. Aren’t they supposed to talk? But, he’s not  _ opposed _ to whatever this is, but, as he comes back to himself he feels unsure.

Kuroo licks his lips, and the sound prompts Tsukki to turn around and see him staring lecherously, relaxed, at Bokuto and Akaashi. When Kuroo notices Tsukki looking, he brings his attention to the blond. 

_ Shit _ , Tsukki thinks as his cock throbs in his pants, Akaashi and Bokuto momentarily forgotten. Tsukki swallows around the lump in his throat and sets his cup down. He stands, hissing at the way his thighs burn, the pain running deep to his bones. It’s amazing. He goes to Kuroo and settles himself on his lap. He can’t stop his whimper as he gingerly settles, his ass and thighs throbbing at the pressure.

Kuroo leans in and kisses Tsukki’s neck tenderly, enjoying the way the blonde’s muscles keep flexing beneath his tongue.

“Babe, look.”

Bokuto’s words do little at first to capture Akaashi’s attention. He's too busy pressing kisses to Bokuto’s throat and shoulders. Finally, Bokuto tilts Akaashi’s chin up and over in the direction of Tsukki, who keeps glancing over at them between kisses with Kuroo.

“He can't stop looking at you,” Bokuto chuckles. He can't help the smirk when Tsukki’s cheeks flare and he tucks his chin into Kuroo’s shoulder.

Akaashi, unmoved, overtakes Bokuto’s mouth, kissing him deeply, demanding his attention. Bokuto’s hands grab the raven's ass and rock his hips slightly. 

“If he wants something,” Akaashi murmurs against his lover’s mouth, “he can ask for it.” Bokuto only responds with another chuckle as he grabs Akaashi’s ass and pulls him closer.

Meanwhile, Tsukki’s legs are burning everywhere they're touching Kuroo, making him whimper into the man’s tan shoulder. He fingers are gripping Kuroo hard enough that he knows he'll leave bruises.

“I-I want to suck him,” Tsukki says to Kuroo, his lips brushing against Kuroo’s neck. 

“D-don’t tell  _ me _ that,” Kuroo tries to school his voice but Tsukki feels so  _ good.  _

Akaashi moans and grinds down into Bokuto’s lap. His hands roam Bokuto’s body fiercely, bites his bottom lip, but he peeks at Tsukki out of the corner of his eyes. Bokuto moans and presses back into Akaashi’s hands. He looks over at the other two men after he notices Akaashi’s attention on them and sighs dramatically, his voice heavy and unabashed. 

The sound makes Tsukki look over and he catches Akaashi watching him. He has to bite his lip to keep his whimper at bay because those  _ eyes _ make his stomach swoop in the most delicious way. 

“I want- to s-suck…. -you,” he says again, his voice carrying across the space between the two couches. “Please, Akaashi,” he adds softly.

Akaashi taps Bokuto’s hip with his right hand, ushering him in the direction of Kuroo and Tsukki. Bokuto picks Akaashi up by the hips and sits next to the other two men, close enough that his arm brushes Kuroo’s on the way down. 

Akaashi, settled in Bokuto’s lap, leans into Tsukki’s space, gazes at him with parted lips and glassy eyes. 

Tsukki can’t help but look at his lips and then look at Akaashi’s eyes through his lashes. it doesn’t take him long to lean forward, choking on a soft whimper when his thigh presses harder into Kuroo’s, and kiss Akaashi’s clumsily. He grabs on harder to Kuroo, letting his hand loop around Kuroo’s neck for support.

“That’s hot,” Bokuto moans, his thighs flexing under Akaashi’s legs.

Kuroo moves a hand from Tsukki’s hip to touch a small exposed area of Bokuto’s thigh. The muscle under his hand flexes as Bokuto shifts slightly.

“ _ Fuck” _ Kuroo breathes as Akaashi deepens his kiss with Tsukki, smoothly taking the lead and working his tongue in the blonde’s mouth. He leans farther off of Bokuto, opting to place a hand on Kuroo’s shoulder. Kuroo leans down and kisses his forearm. 

Tsukki moans, gladly taking Akaashi’s lead. He keeps his eyes clenched shut, partly because of the ache in his legs and because he’s sure he looks like an idiot in comparison. He tries to lean into Akaashi, but breaks off with a weak cry, arching towards Kuroo and lifting his thighs so that he isn’t touching the other man at all. 

Kuroo and Bokuto somehow became  _ very  _ close, almost kissing before Tsukki steals Kuroo’s attention. He expertly positions Tsukki on his knees but with their thighs staggered, obviously wanting more of this. Before Akaashi and Tsukki continue he leans over and kisses Bokuto lazily. 

Bokuto moans into the kiss, trying to shift so that he can both support Akaashi and get more access to Kuroo. Tsukki stares at them, breathing hard as the mix of pain and arousal become a hazy mix inside his head. He turns back to Akaashi, kissing him gently this time, taking care not to slobber or something equally as embarrassing. The fabric of his pants, while usually loose and comfortable, keeps brushing against his hot skin, making him whine and whimper against Akaashi’s mouth.

“Bro-” Kuroo moans, pulling back slightly. Bokuto allows it but not without snagging Kuroo’s bottom lip between his teeth. Kuroo’s eyes dart down to Akaashi’s groin. He kisses Bokuto again, but his hand begins to palm Tsukki’s obvious erection. 

Bokuto gets Kuroo’s message loud and clear, and it doesn’t take him long to hook his fingers into the top of Akaashi’s pants and wriggle his hand down, brushing and teasing Akaashi’s cock.

Tsukki’s hips twitch forward into Kuroo’s hand and he whines, his grip weak against Kuroo’s shoulders. He honestly hadn’t even noticed he was  _ that _ hard again, but now he’s beginning to feel consumed with lust.

“How’d we get this lucky, bro?” Bokuto asks against Kuroo’s mouth with a wide smile. 

Akaashi wants to roll his eyes but can only roll his hips into Bokuto’s touch. He pulls Tsukki back into a smooth kiss, this time moaning and panting into his mouth. Bokuto and Kuroo peek every now and again between their own kisses, stroking and teasing their partners. 

It doesn’t take long for Tsukki to start to get overwhelmed, by the sounds Akaashi is making, by Kuroo’s hand against him, but  _ not close enough _ . He breaks from the kiss, gasping for breath, instead reaching so that he can guide Akaashi’s hand to the waistband of his pants.

“P-please,” he whines, needing the other man’s touch, or rather more of it. 

Bokuto stares, distracted from Kuroo’s mouth. _ Is this what Kuroo gets to see all the time?  _ He wonders as his jaw hangs open.

Kuroo quirks his brow saucily.  _ It sure fucking is.  _

Akaashi bites his lip and moans when he feels Tsukki’s erection beneath his fingertips. He presses them along his length. 

“I want to feel those pretty moans on my cock,” Akaashi whines, more vulgar than he usually allows himself to be, “but... I also want to watch Kuroo tear you apart…”

Tsukki's hips move into Akaashi’s fingers and he whines. He can feel a wet spot forming on his pants, he knows that Akaashi can probably feel it and it makes his body shudder.

“Oh fuck,” Bokuto says, his hips twitching up at the sight his lover makes with Tsukki. 

“I-I want- please, let me-” Tsukki chokes out, “I want to- be good,  _ please.” _

Akaashi looks at Kuroo, the only man who is managing to keep some semblance of composure, and gives him a pleading look.  Kuroo then hoists Tsukki up off of his lap, repositioning him on all fours. The touch on his thighs makes him yelp, but he settles on his hands. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Tsukki understands why the couch cushions are so very wide. It's as spacious as if they were on the floor, but more comfortable. 

Meanwhile, Bokuto picks Akaashi up and sets him back down to kneel in front of Tsukki, back leaning into Bokuto’s chest. Bokuto’s hands roam the front of Akaashi’s body, teasing his nipples, pulling the nape of his neck to his mouth, and finally slink down to free his cock. 

Kuroo, bent over Tsukki kissing his shoulder blades, licks his lips at the sight of how hard and wet Akaashi is. 

Tsukki leans forward, whining at the sight. Bokuto holds the base of Akaashi’s cock steady, his pupils blown wide as he shares a look with Kuroo. 

There's a second when Tsukki waits, considering begging for permission. He wonders if Akaashi would have Kuroo slap his burning ass if he started without asking first. The thought sends a shiver through him and he decides.

“May I?” He asks, his voice strained with desperation.

Akaashi swallows hard and nods slightly. Without skipping a beat, Tsukki lunges forward and sucks Akaashi’s cock into his mouth. He moans, his eyes fluttering closed as he works his way down, his nose bumping Bokuto’s fingers.

Kuroo looks at the sight Akaashi and Tsukki make, Tsukki moaning and bobbing on Akaashi’s dick. Kuroo’s fingers slip under the waist of Tsukki’s pants, pulling them down far enough that he can see the deep purple bruises that start at the top of his ass. He can’t help but hiss, because he knows that Tsukki will be feeling them constantly for the next few days, but he has to admit that the purple and red look fantastic on Tsukki’s skin.

Tsukki feels Kuroo’s hands start to brush lightly against his ass and his chokes, pulling off Akaashi’s cock to whine. Each touch feels like dull fire. He can feel each individual finger against his ass, and he can’t even imagine what Kuroo holding him open will feel like.

“ _ Continue,”  _ Kuroo husks, pressing his hand along Tsukki’s spine, guiding him back to Akaashi’s hard, wet cock. 

The command sends new fire to Tsukki’s belly and he's moaning as he sinks down on Akaashi’s cock again. He manages to hold his lips against Bokuto’s finger for a second, tears starting to well in his eyes, before he pulls off, trying to stifle his coughs.

Bokuto gives Kuroo a meaningful look as he reaches around Akaashi’s body to take hold of Tsukki’s hair gently. The blond whines and it sends a shiver through him. Gently, Bokuto leads him back onto Akaashi’s cock, stopping him before he can choke.

“A good blow job isn't how  _ far _ you can take a cock,” Bokuto starts, quoting Akaashi himself. 

“It’s how  _ well _ you can take it,” Kuroo finishes, purring into Tsukki’s ear. The blonde moans as he works his tongue against Akaashi’s hot skin.

Akaashi exhales sharply, a whimper escaping alongside the breath. 

“ _ Please…”  _ he moans softly, leaning his head back on Bokuto’s shoulder. 

Hearing  _ Akaashi _ like this makes Tsukki work his mouth harder, moaning and trying his absolute best to make this good for Akaashi. Bokuto continues to guide him, gently, pulling on his hair harder when Tsukki gets overzealous and tries to push himself too far. 

The silver haired man watches Tsukki, decides that he wants to see him  _ destroyed _ .

“Oi, Tetsurou,” he says with a wide smirk. “Are you planning on doing anything over there?”

Kuroo maintains eye contact with Bokuto as he spreads Tsukki’s ass open - making sure to dig his fingers into the bruised flesh securely - and presses his tongue broad against his hole. 

Tsukki lurches forward, choking as Akaashi’s cock presses into the back of his throat. He pulls off, blinking away tears as he coughs. He's not sure if he wants to press closer to Kuroo or shy away because the pain is overwhelming. Akaashi’s cock is momentarily forgotten, as he moans and gasps, grabbing at the couch.

Akaashi moans lewdly, twisting back to bite the side of Bokuto’s neck. Bokuto hisses, and pulls Tsukki’s hair to look up at the two lovers, the tip of Akaashi’s cock brushing against the blonde’s lips. Tsukki whines, his eyelashes fluttering as he starts to mouth and kiss at the head of Akaashi’s cock.

Kuroo continues staring at Bokuto as he grinds his tongue across Tsukki’s entrance.  Unlike his partner, Akaashi can't seem to bear to watch, opting to whimper and kiss Bokuto’s neck instead. After a moment, Bokuto turns his head so that he can kiss Akaashi; this kiss is sloppy, but he moans all the same.

“P-please Tetsurou,” Tsukki whines, pressing his hips back towards his mouth.

“Please what?” Akaashi moans more than asks. Kuroo has to fight back a smug smile. 

“I-I don’t- I don’t  _ know _ ,” Tsukki whines, mouthing at Akaashi’s shaft. He wants more but he can’t keep his thoughts on track long enough to figure out specifics. He wants to cover himself in the feeling of Bokuto’s hand in his hair, Akaashi’s heat radiating from his thighs, and Kuroo’s mouth against his hole. He’s completely overwhelmed.

Kuroo sucks, making a very lewd noise before pulling back off of Tsukki’s ass. He leans back, takes a sip of water, and wipes his mouth. When he turns his attention back to the lustful display before him, he's equipped with condoms and lube. He sets the bottle on the table and pumps some into his hand before situating back behind Tsukki. Bokuto follows suit, then reaches under Akaashi. 

They each pause for a fixed amount of time before slowly pressing a finger inside his partner. 

Tsukki cries out, the finger unexpected but not unwelcome. It takes him a moment before he presses his hips back. He looks at Akaashi, whose reaction to Bokuto’s finger pressing slowly into him was much more graceful than Tsukki’s. His mouth opens in a beautiful gasp, and Tsukki is hit with the urge to kiss him so badly it surprises him.

“Akaka-shi please, want- aaah I want your mouth,” Tsukki moans. Bokuto scoots back, giving Akaashi enough room to lean forward. The brunette moves so that he’s resting on his palms, which lets him press into Bokuto’s touch. 

Somehow Bokuto and Kuroo are on the same wavelength, each of them working their partners open at the same pace, rapt with awe at the sight of the other's partner's face. 

Akaashi’s brow is furrowed, mouth open in pleasure, before he overtakes Tsukki’s mouth, all tongue and passion. 

Tsukki leans into the kiss, his moans desperate and broken. It’s amazing that Akaashi seems to be just as affected as him. He tries to work his hips back, urging Kuroo on, already greedy for the delicious full feeling he knows will come with another finger, fuck, with Kuroo’s cock inside of him.

Bokuto works steadily into Akaashi, taking his time and trying not to get too distracted by his boyfriend kissing Tsukki like he’s going to die if he stops. Bokuto glances up at Kuroo, quirking a brow, before refreshing the lube on his fingers and pressing another into Akaashi’s waiting hole.

Kuroo follows suit, reveling in the fact that Akaashi is beginning to lose himself at the same pace Tsukki is. Bokuto looks positively debauched himself; Kuroo watches his line of sight drag from Akaashi’s ass to where he and Tsukki are moaning into each other’s mouths, down the long curve of Tsukki’s back, and up Kuroo’s chest. He licks his lips watching Kuroo’s arm muscles work with effort, like he wishes his tongue could follow the shifting definition there. When his gaze finally meets Kuroo’s, Bokuto is panting as if he’s the one being fucked, not fucking. 

Kuroo understands, of course. He’s not exactly composed himself - his cock is painfully hard and every fiber of his being wants to have it deep in Tsukki’s ass. He bites his lip and nods his head at Bokuto, pauses, and then drives his fingers into Tsukki’s prostate. 

Tsukki screams, his hand reaching out and grabbing Akaashi’s arm. The pressure against his prostate makes his heart race, making his bruises throb. His nails press into Akaashi’s arm as he tries to catch his breath. Akaashi winces, letting his weight rest on his elbow so that he pull Tsukki’s nails away.

Bokuto waits a beat before fucking harder into Akaashi, pressing into his prostate. Akaashi gasps, his back bowing as he shoves his hips down to fuck himself further on Bokuto’s hand. Bokuto moans, leaning over Akaashi to presses kisses against his shoulders.

“So pretty,” he moans, pretty a gentle bite to the skin at the nape of Akaashi’s neck. Akaashi  _ groans _ , losing his elegant air completely. His brow furrows, his mouth opens, his eyes squeeze shut, his shoulders tighten. 

“ _ More!”  _ He cries, begging for Bokuto’s teeth. The silver-haired man obliges, sinking his teeth in and dragging more lascivious moans from Akaashi’s throat. 

Kuroo shifts to be in a similar position to Bokuto, except instead of biting Tsukki’s neck, he kisses his jaw and reaches a hand up to pinch his nipple. 

Tsukki chokes. He can’t even tell what’s happening anymore, but he presses further into Kuroo’s hands. 

“Fuck, fuck,  _ please fuckme, _ ” Tsukki sobs, falling onto his elbows and resting his head on the couch. He’s not sure he’s going to be able to keep himself up, and he whines.

“W-wait,” he gasps, pulling away with a wince when Kuroo’s fingers slip out of him. Without wasting any time he flips over, laying on his back and grabbing for Kuroo’s shoulders. 

Bokuto’s eyebrows shoot up, and Akaashi regains a sliver of his composition to reposition himself.    
  
Kuroo descends upon Tsukki, allowing his lust to take him over, knowing that Akaashi and Bokuto would be into the sight. He bites his hips, his abs, his chest, peppering bruises along his chest before taking over his mouth as he lines his cock up to his entrance. Tsukki whines and grabs at Kuroo, hanging on for dear life. The pressure on his bruises makes him whimper, and he wants Kuroo to dig into him and destroy him.

Bokuto bites Akaashi more fiercely, a growl forming in his throat watching Kuroo take what he wants. It’s so different than the reverence with which he treats Akaashi, and is a different perspective than he gets when he’s fucking Kuroo himself. 

Bokuto lines himself up to Akaashi, ready for Kuroo’s sign to slide his cock into him. When he looks up to Kuroo, he sees him kissing Akaashi  _ gratuitously.  _

Tsukki stares up at Kuroo and Akaashi kissing. The angle is strange, but no less hot. Tsukki whines, craving those kisses. He reaches up, pulling Akaashi down so that he can kiss him. He lifts his chest, pulling Kuroo’s hand to press against his nipples.

Kuroo looks dejected for a half a moment, but is placated by Tsukki’s demand for touches on his chest. He twists Tsukki’s nipple sharply and captures Bokuto’s bottom lip between his teeth. 

“ _ Fuck! _ ” Tsukki cries, shying away from Kuroo’s fingers. Bokuto moans at the sounds Tsukki makes, grabbing at Kuroo’s neck to pull him closer. He's so hard, so ready to trust into Akaashi, but he waits for Kuroo, used to and happy to follow his lead. 

“Fuck fuck, I'm ready, fuck me, Tetsurou,” Tsukki says moans against Akaashi’s mouth while his hips move so that the head of Kuroo’s cock presses against him more fully.

Kuroo can't bear another moment of not having his cock deep inside Tsukishima Kei. He guesses Bokuto feels similar. He presses in, head of his cock just slightly breaching Tsukki’s hole.

“Wait,” Akaashi says, voice somehow smooth and rough at the same time. 

Bokuto huffs, so very close to the satisfaction he craves, Akaashi’s tight hole just shy of the sweet spot on the underside of his cock.

“Wh-!?” 

Tsukki growls, his hips trying to press Kuroo further into him, but he doesn't have the leverage. 

“Why?!” Tsukki groans, pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes. He tries to pull Akaashi down, to kiss him long enough to maybe distract him, but the other man stands fast, just looking at Tsukki expectantly.

“Please, please, I've been so good, please,” he whines, at this point not even embarrassed about begging. “P-please  _ Keiji. _ ”

“There it is,” Akaashi breathes. Tsukki sounds so lovely as he gasps Akaashi’s given name, “give him what he wants.”

Bokuto and Kuroo both thrust straight to the hilt. A guttural moan tears through Akaashi’s throat, tight as if he needs to scream three names all at once but can't quite get them out. 

Kuroo and Bokuto damn near collapse on top of their men. The collective sighs and moans of relief and tension fill the room.

A moan rips out of Tsukki and he arches, pulling Kuroo down for a long kiss. His thighs are trembling where they're wrapped around Kuroo’s waist.

Bokuto can't help but thrust into Akaashi, all thought of waiting for Kuroo gone. He presses kisses and bites into Akaashi’s back as he thrusts, long and slow and powerful.

Akaashi collapses, weight falling onto his elbows and occupying his mouth with Tsukki’s clavicle. He tunes in briefly to Kuroo, whose rhythm is faster but less forceful than Bokuto’s, who draws out sobs from the blond beneath him. 

“Fuck,” Kuroo bites out, “I'm already close…”

Bokuto laughs, glad that he's not the only one. He manages to keep his rhythm steady, digging his fingertips into Akaashi’s hips. He mentally promises himself that he'll kiss the bruises and apologize later, even though he's caught Akaashi brushing his fingertips against fingerprint bruises in the past.

Tsukki looks up at Kuroo, eyes hazy with lust. He looks amazing, and Akaashi is kissing his chest, and he can hear Bokuto moaning. His legs twinge painfully with every thrust Kuroo makes, and it mixes with every pleasure he's feeling until--

“F-fuckfuck!” He cries, his orgasm peaking and crashing over him. His back arches and he tries to grab at something, anything, because he's sure that he's going to float away. He ends up scratching against Kuroo’s thighs as he rides out his orgasm.

Tsukki’s come splays across his chest, hard. Kuroo glances up to see Bokuto’s hips still, jaw slack, eyes fixed on Tsukki. 

“Kei, so  _ pretty, _ ” Akaashi breathes, somehow so transfixed with Tsukki coming undone that he can’t spare the energy to command to be fucked harder. “So beautiful when you come… _ Kei…. _ ”

Then, he leans forward and licks some of Tsukki’s come off of his chest. Tsukki keens at the praise, arching and chasing Akaashi’s mouth lazily despite the fact that Kuroo is still fucking him. The sound seems to snap Bokuto out of his trance and he starts fucking into Akaashi with renewed vigor, panting and moaning Akaashi’s name.

“God,  _ Keiji!”  _ Kuroo  _ pounds _ into Tsukki, each thrust forcing a desperate sound out of the blonde, watching Akaashi’s shoulders tremble and his tongue lapping across Tsukki’s chest. “Please, want to taste too -  _ please!” _

Akaashi leans up and kisses Kuroo, come-covered lips and tongue pressing and sliding into Kuroo’s mouth.

“O- _ ooh _ ,” Tsukki moans, his attention torn between watching Akaashi and Kuroo’s sloppy kiss and Kuroo’s cock taking him apart.  Kuroo comes, moans turned to grunts muted by Akaashi’s mouth as some of Tsukki’s come drips off of their lips. 

Bokuto loses his rhythm at the sight, his hips fucking wildly when he finally comes, and the feeling of Bokuto’s cock throbbing and pulsing inside of him sends Akaashi over the edge as well. Bokuto leans into Akaashi and wraps his arms around his waist, shallowly thrusting through their orgasms. 

“Okay - okay okay okayokay…” Tsukki gasps, while Akaashi repeatedly sighs “ _ Koutarou, Koutarou.”  _ Kuroo pulls out of the blond and damn near collapses off of the couch. 

Bokuto pulls out gently and then leans back, bringing Akaashi with him so that the brunette is leaning into his chest. He kisses Akaashi’s neck, murmuring “Keiji” and “love you”s against his hot skin. 

Tsukki winces as he sits up, leaning back on his arms only to collapse back onto the couch when they give out. He lets out a weak laugh and doesn’t try to get up again.

“You broke me,” he complains breathlessly.

“ _ We _ broke you,” Kuroo corrects, kissing Tsukki before collapsing on top of him.

Akaashi is barely audible when he breathes “Thank you,” voice small beneath Bokuto’s kisses and praise.

Tsukki isn’t sure what to say to that, choosing instead to hide his face in Kuroo’s shoulder, but he does reach back and brush his fingers against Akaashi’s thigh and hopes that the other man understands.

“So, you two can sleep here, if you want,” Bokuto offers after a few minutes of silence. Tsukki opens his eyes and realizes that he was already starting to drift off. “Our bed is ridiculously large,” Bokuto explains, and Tsukki nods without even looking at Kuroo. He’s too sated and tired to care.

He doesn’t remember getting to the bed, only falling asleep soundly between two warm bodies.

 

* * *

Akaashi blinks the sleep out of his eyes. He twists, sleep heavy on his muscles but not as heavy as the memory of the previous night. He looks next to him, curling into - Bokuto? No, that’s just a pillow. He sits up, searching for signs of the previous night, and he finds one - a sleepy blond resting well on the other side of the bed. Kuroo and Bokuto  _ were  _ spooning in the middle of the bed when Akaashi had drifted off, but they’re gone now, leaving Akaashi and Tsukki on either side of the bed.

Akaashi rises, finds that he’s nude, and slips on silky boxers and a matching robe. He slips away to the bathroom, and then returns, approaching the bed and touching Tsukki’s shoulder lightly.

Tsukki shifts, stubbornly keeping his eyes shut against the morning. His ass and thighs ache to his bones, and he shivers at the memory of the previous night. He turns and reaches a hand out blindly, his fingers brushing against the soft robe.

“No pants in bed,” he grumbles, finally opening his eyes. When he sees Akaashi he sits up and immediately regrets putting such sudden pressure on his ass, but laying back down seems like a bad idea.

“Shit- sorry I thought,” he starts before realizing that he is also naked. He pulls the blanket over himself, face burning as he mumbles, and “I thought you were Kuroo.”

Akaashi chuckles softly, eyes creasing in a gentle smile. He glides his fingers along the knuckles of the hand Tsukki used to pull the blanket up.

“I hope you're comfortable with me,” Akaashi says, sitting down, “but let me know if you aren't. Good morning.”

Tsukki flushes at the gentle touch, staring down at their hands. Truth be told he’s not...sure what to expect now. Do they  _ talk _ about it, or, was last night a one off that they never speak of again. He grimaces at his own awkwardness.

“N-no, I’m fine - I’m comfortable with you,” he corrects himself, “good morning,” he says quietly, glancing up at Akaashi through his lashes.

“How are you feeling?” Akaashi asks, bringing Tsukki’s hand to his lips, and it's his turn to peek through his lashes at the blond. 

“Sore,” Tsukki admits weakly. His ass and thighs are throbbing gently and he tries to resettle some of his weight without being too obvious about it. Warmth swoops in Tsukki’s stomach and he fights the urge to squirm under Akaashi’s gaze. 

“Did you enjoy yourself?” Akaashi purrs, kissing Tsukki’s fingertips, closing his eyes. 

“I- yes, a lot,” he breathes. Tsukki isn’t sure what to make of this, but he really  _ likes _ seeing Akaashi gentle and calm in the morning light that filters through the window. He’s not sure if Akaashi is always like this at home, or if he’s interested in doing  _ something _ , but he’s definitely making Tsukki’s cock slowly fill.

“So did I,” Akaashi breathes. “But after being so harsh with the three of you yesterday…” he kisses Tsukki’s palm and gazes at him with gentle attraction, “I’d love to be soft with just you this morning…”

So much for getting hard slowly. Tsukki feels like he has electricity humming under his skin as he nods.

“That sounds amazing,” he says, this time not trying to be so discreet about his shifting. He hisses when he leans too much weight back, making his ass pulse harshly.

Akaashi moves higher on the bed, leans over, and kisses Tsukki slowly and cautiously, searching for desire. 

He doesn’t have to search long. Tsukki gasps softly into the kiss, his now free hand reaching to brush his fingers through Akaashi’s hair. He doesn’t dare look, but he thinks that his erection must be obvious beneath the blanket.

Akaashi moans when he feels Tsukki’s hand in his hair. He swings one leg over to straddle Tsukki, inadvertently pressing their erections together. 

“Ah-” Akaashi gasps, “ _ Yes...” _

_ “Oh,” _ Tsukki moans, his hips lifting just slightly. The extra weight is making his bruises  _ scream _ , and it takes him a second to realize that he's whimpering against Akaashi’s mouth.

“So pretty,” Akaashi whispers against Tsukki’s mouth. His hands slide up his sides, touches feather light. He runs his tongue across Tsukki’s bottom lip, beckoning them to open for him. 

Tsukki can feel his cheeks get hot at the praise and he whines, just enough to let Akaashi into his mouth. He wants to press into the touches, but doing so would press him into the mattress. After a minute he breaks the kiss, the pressure finally getting to him.

“Sorry,” he gasps, “it- my bruises.”

Akaashi smiles, “Of course,” and flips the rest of the way into the bed, rolling onto his back. He arches his back ever so slightly and licks his lips, beckoning Tsukki to get on top. 

Tsukki stares for a moment, a little dumbfounded by the situation. He never expected to be in this situation with Akaashi of all people, but here he is, gingerly getting up and pulling the blanket with him, letting the fabric drape over his shoulders so that it’s not quite so obvious that he’s nude.

“Is this okay?” He asks, leaning down so that their chests press together and brushing his lips against Akaashi’s gently. 

“More than okay,” Akaashi whispers, “going slow and lazy is what I like about morning sex.” he caresses Tsukki’s shoulder blades and smiles. “Show me what you want, at your own pace.”

Tsukki’s chest feels warm as he whispers “Okay,” against Akaashi’s lips, pressing his erection down so that Akaashi can feel just how good this is. He’s more than happy to just make out for a while. He lets his hands roam, slipping his fingers against the silk of Akaashi’s robe before traveling beneath the fabric, pressing gentle touches into his sides.

Soft moans and whimpers fall from Akaashi’s mouth, and he tilts his head back on the pillows. He's blushing intensely, weak for Tsukki’s touch, and squirming slightly as if he were  _ shy.  _

“You're so beautiful,” Tsukki whispers, in awe of how soft Akaashi looks. Last night he'd radiated an air of authority, but now the older man seems to be melting under him. He kisses Akaashi’s neck, gently, careful not to leave any bruises because they hadn't talked about that.

They hadn't really talked about  _ anything _ , Tsukki realizes. He pulls back, just far enough to get his bearings and look at Akaashi’s face,

“What are we doing?” He asks.

Akaashi levels himself out a bit and props himself up slightly. 

“I'd like to continue kissing you,” Akaashi suggests, “and if you're interested in sex, then so am I. What do you want to do?”

Heat pools in Tsukki’s abdomen and he nods. How is Akaashi so smooth all the time?

“Yeah, yeah, okay, me too,” he breathes, leaning back in to capture Akaashi in another kiss. His hands press into Akaashi’s chest, easing him back down, before his fingers start to tease Akaashi’s nipples gently.

Akaashi’s breathing stutters. He's thrilled by the new touch that Tsukki offers, so used to what Bokuto and Kuroo offer to him. His nipples  _ are _ sensitive, and with a small voice he asks for more, encourages Tsukki to continue exploring him. 

Tsukki's hips jerk at the soft, needy sounds Akaashi makes. He hunches over, kissing and biting across Akaashi’s chest, making sure to give particular attention to Akaashi’s nipples. His hands travel down, teasing at the waistband of Akaashi’s boxers, silently asking permission.

Akaashi nods, presses his hips into Tsukki’s touch. He finds himself enjoying the release that comes with no expectations. 

“ _ Please…” _

Tsukki hooks his fingers in the elastic and pulls the boxers down, as far as he can considering that he’s still sitting on Akaashi’s legs. The sight of Akaashi’s cock, flushed and full, makes Tsukki’s mouth water. He scoots back so that he can lean down, kissing the head before looking at Akaashi, again, waiting for the okay.

“Yes, Tsukki, just like that… “Akaashi breathes, watching Tsukki with flushed cheeks and heavy eyes. He cards his fingers through his blond locks. 

Tsukki moans, taking more of Akaashi into his mouth slowly. He remembers what Kuroo and Bokuto said last night and moans, using a hand to work the base of Akaashi’s shaft. His other hand comes and presses against the hand Akaashi has in Tsukki’s hair, encouraging the older man to guide him.

He does, gently curling his fingers Into Tsukki’s hair, not holding him or forcing him but setting a rhythm. With this control, he can use his hips, so he does, thrusting just slightly into Tsukki’s mouth.

“Ts-ukki-...” he breathes, eyes closed and losing his strength to pleasure. 

Tsukki pulls off after a second, an idea coming to him. 

“F-fuck my face?” He offers, his voice already affected. He wonders how long his voice would be affected if Akaashi fucks into his throat.

Akaashi tries not to look a little taken aback. He's very interested, but… 

“...want slow… gentle… morning…” he breathes, not wanting to come out of his erotic haze. 

Tsukki can’t remember if he’s ever had this effect on another human being before. Sure, he’s seen Kuroo hazy with lust, but, not like  _ this _ . He kisses along Akaashi’s shaft, letting his fingers tease the head.

“Then do it  _ slow _ and  _ gentle _ ,” he says between kisses, realizing suddenly just how badly he wants this.

Akaashi’s flush creeps down his neck, his chest heaving in a silent gasp. He understands to the core of his being why Kuroo becomes such an idiot when it comes to this guy. 

He nods twice, quickly, and props himself up to get a better handle on Tsukki. Once he does, he caresses his cheek softly before pressing Tsukki’s head down his cock, slowly, meeting halfway with his hips. 

Tsukki braces himself on his arms, doing his best to relax his mouth and throat. Truth be told, he’d done some research about face fucking, but he hadn’t gathered the courage to talk to Kuroo about it. When Akaashi thrusts gently into his mouth, he moans, eyes fluttering closed. Akaashi hasn’t pushed far enough to choke him, which Tsukki appreciates, but the thought that he’s under Akaashi’s control makes his cock throb.

Akaashi’s thrusts gradually become less hand and more hips, but retain the slow and gentle motion. He's so hard, somehow getting harder listening to Tsukki’s moans, feeling them on his cock. Motion carries from his shoulders, curving his spine, and finishing through his hips as his entire body moves languidly with the motion of thrusting into Tsukki’s mouth. 

Tsukki alternates between watching Akaashi’s body move, as well as he can from his current vantage point, and having to close his eyes so that he doesn’t get completely overwhelmed by the beauty in front of him. He doesn’t notice when his hips start to work against the bed lazily in time with Akaashi’s smooth, fluid thrusts. 

“Tsukki…I…. I could come like this…” Akaashi whines, quiet between breaths and shudders. 

Well that just won’t do. Tsukki taps on Akaashi’s thigh and pulls off when he releases his hair. The blonde makes a show of licking his lips before moving up the bed and kissing Akaashi slowly. 

“Can I fuck you?” Tsukki asks against his lips, his hips moving against nothing as he hovers over Akaashi.

Akaashi can feel the motion, and presses up to rub their cocks together. His hands roam Tsukki’s body as he kisses him back. 

“Yes,” he breathes. He kisses and licks Tsukki’s neck, holding onto his shoulders. 

Tsukki kisses him once more before forcing himself down. He realizes after a moment that he’s woefully unprepared for preparing Akaashi.

“Um, lube? Gloves maybe?” He asks.

“Protection on the night stand” Akaashi says, “and the lube is in the headboard.” he indicates up and sure enough there is a brushed silver pump protruding from the classy black wooden headboard. 

Tsukki crawls over to the nightstand and grabs a glove and a condom. He pulls the glove on and gets a good amount of lube before settling on his knees between Akaashi’s legs.

He watches Akaashi’s expression as he presses his index finger against his entrance. He takes a deep breath and presses his finger in slowly.

“Feel so good,” Akaashi breathes, “need you to kiss me,” he whines, “anywhere….need you close...”

Tsukki obliges, leaning to press kisses into Akaashi’s stomach and chest. He works his finger, twisting and curling the digit, fucking into Akaashi, slow and gentle. He moves his mouth slowly up Akaashi’s body until he reaches his mouth, kissing him like he’s a drowning man and Akaashi is air.

Akaashi’s hips grind down with Tsukki’s rhythm, panting, and his flesh so  _ hot _ . Tsukki’s lips are warm and Akaashi’s are so soft and it's all so much.

“ _ More,”  _ he whispers, some feeling deep in him beginning to stir. 

Tsukki pulls his finger out gently before adding a second, moving slow and unhurried. He feels warm all over, partly from the sun coming in through the window, but mostly because of the sounds Akaashi is making under him.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, curling his fingers just  _ so _ inside the brunette.

Akaashi keens, his shoulder blades pressing together to open up his chest. Tsukki isn't the first man to tell him he's beautiful but something in the  _ way _ he says it gets him. He wonders if this is the first time Tsukki’s openly said such a thing, like this, in such a sure way. 

“Kei _ …”  _ he moans wantonly as Tsukki slides over his prostate, “ _ please...” _

“Yeah, yeah,” Tsukki breathes, “can I- are you ready?” He asks, desperate to feel Akaashi around him.

“ _ Yes,”  _ Akaashi moans, a little impatient but not with Tsukki. The words are falling from his lips as if his filter is gone from pleasure and this is all that's on his mind and it  _ has _ to come out now. “Give it to me, Kei, please, fuck me…”

Tsukki pulls his fingers out and tosses the glove. He slips on the condom, fingers shaking with anticipation, gets lube and slicks himself, and finally presses his cock into Akaashi’s hole. He moans, long and rough, doubling over at the sensations that threaten to overwhelm him.

Tsukki presses in, so slow, so gradual and Akaashi feels himself opening for him, and it's hot, and it  _ hurts _ , and he can't breathe. He moans, feeling the intimate energy flow through them.

“Fuck, fuck,  _ Keiji _ ,” Tsukki moans, finally fully inside of Akaashi. 

“Sound… so good...” Akaashi sighs. His hands roam Tsukki’s chest as he whimpers and breathes shallowly, adjusting. 

He opens his eyes and meets Tsukki’s gaze. 

“Move…”

He doesn't have to ask twice. Tsukki pulls out, unable to stop his moan, and he breathes once before thrusting back in, faster this time. He leans forward, starting a lazy rhythm. It's not perfect, but it allows him to kiss Akaashi’s neck, smothering his whines and moans in his skin.   
  
Akaashi cries out in pleasure, rocking his hips up to meet Tsukki’s slow thrusts. 

“Wait, wait…” Akaashi says, and Tsukki stops, his expression desperate, “I need more, I need  _ more, _ ” he continues, “here.”   
  
Akaashi brings his thighs up, closer to his chest, and Tsukki hooks his arms underneath them. Akaashi looks up at Tsukki and his pupils are blown wide, lips parted. He caresses Tsukki’s jaw, licks his lips, and kisses him once, slowly, and Tsukki thrusts in.

“Fuck- yes, fuck,” Tsukki pants, thrusting faster this time, trying to stay consistent but falling short whenever he gets lost in Akaashi’s kisses. His fingers dig into the meat of Akaashi’s thighs and takes a deep breath before closing his eyes, changing his rhythm so that his thrusts hit Akaashi’s prostate, long and hard and deep.

“Kei!” Akaashi  _ screams,  _ one of his arms come down from Tsukki’s shoulders to cover his eyes, as if this is too much pleasure to bear.  “I can’t - last, I can’t! Right there! _ ” _

Akaashi comes, pulsing around Tsukki and making a mess of both of them. He whimpers and whines through Tsukki fucking him.

Seeing Akaashi come apart is enough to push Tsukki over the edge. He screams as he comes, his hips thrusting messy and uncoordinated.

“Keiji, Keiji, haaa, so good,” he whines as his hips finally slow. He presses kisses into Akaashi’s hair, his lips, his neck.   
  
A deep, visible sense relaxation sets into Akaashi’s form as he accepts and returns Tsukki’s kisses. When Tsukki finally pulls out and collapses next to him, Akaashi nuzzles up to him, placing his head on his chest and generally looking sleepy and cozy.

Tsukki wraps an arm around Akaashi. It’s strange, he’s usually in Akaashi’s position, but he likes it. It helps that Akaashi looks so...right, so relaxed and comfortable in his own skin.

“Where did the other two even  _ go _ ?” Tsukki wonders aloud, realizing that Bokuto and Kuroo have been gone longer than it would take for them to go to the different places open for breakfast.

“Don’t care…” Akaashi mumbles, wrapping an arm around Tsukki’s chest.

“Don’t  _ care?!”  _ __  
__  
Akaashi can’t be bothered to look at the muffled sound from the hallway. Tsukki jumps at the sudden noise, his cheeks flaring. He brings a blanket up quickly, covering Akaashi and himself.

“We went out and got a delicious breakfast and you don’t-” Bokuto opens the door, a big, theatrical scowl falling from his face to be replaced with shock.

Kuroo follows shortly thereafter, damn near dropping the paper bag in his hand when he sees Akaashi very obviously blissed out from sex and Tsukki bright red but still visibly loose in an inexplicable fashion. The room still carries the scent of the two men's morning. 

“You two-” Kuroo starts, but the words fall short on his tongue. 

“Did you both forget how to speak?” Tsukki frowns, embarrassed at being caught like this. Part of him realizes that they hadn’t  _ talked _ about having sex more than just last night, and he clings to the idea that Akaashi wouldn’t have started anything without Bokuto being okay with it. He looks at Akaashi, hoping for some kind of support.

“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, Ke- Tsukki,” Akaashi offers. He continues caressing Tsukki’s chest. 

Akaashi’s touches send shivers through Tsukki and he just shrugs, feeling out of his depth. Somehow they ended up in the middle of the bed, which allows Bokuto and Kuroo to settle on either side of them, Bokuto arranging himself so that he can sit and still plaster himself against his boyfriend.

“Ex _ cuse us _ for being surprised!” He whines, giving Kuroo his coffee.

“Why would you be surprised?” Akaashi says quietly, leaning his lower half into Bokuto but not moving his upper half from Tsukki. Despite the interruption, he is still cloudy and blissful from the morning’s activities. “You were  _ there _ last night, you knew how much I wanted him before then…“

“I knooow,” Bokuto says, leaning down to kiss his boyfriend, “I was hoping we’d at least get to watch,”

“Are you going to share or are you just going to hoard the breakfast,” Tsukki says to Kuroo as he blushes up to his ears, scooting down slightly. The thought of these two watching--he’s glad they were gone, he’s glad that he had the chance to experience Akaashi so gently, but the thought of Bokuto and Kuroo watching makes his dick twitch a little on his thigh.

Kuroo’s cheeks are tinged pink, and his chest feels tight looking at Tsukki and Akaashi. 

“Ah, right,” he says, “bro, let's let these two get dressed.”

“Aw but  _ bro!” _

Kuroo stands, and walks over to Bokuto. He places a hand on his shoulder and leans down to his ear.

“No food in bed,” Kuroo purrs, “ _ come into the kitchen with me.” _

Tsukki whines. He doesn't want to go to the kitchen, he wants to eat and then fall asleep.

“Okay,” Bokuto says, his cheeks pink as he gets up and follows Kuroo out of the room. 

“I- do we have to leave the bed?” Tsukki asks, craning his neck to try and see Kuroo and Bokuto.

“They are politely and selfishly giving us as little or as much time as we need,” Akaashi says, glancing up at Tsukki and kissing his cheek. “Something tells me they won't mind if we take our time.”

They enjoy a few moments of silence before faint gasps and deep, barely-there moans creep in from the hallway. 

Tsukki stiffens at the sounds, craning his neck harder. His mouth feels dry suddenly, his cock twitching again.

“Maybe-” he starts, his voice coming out more strained than he cares for.

Akaashi feels himself grinning. 

“Maybe we should - check on them?” He asks after clearing his throat. He looks down at Akaashi, his ears bright red. “If- I just-” he's not quite sure how to say that watching Bokuto and Kuroo last night had piqued his interest and that he'd love to watch.

“You have quite the... _Appetite,_ hm?” Akaashi muses. “I suppose you do keep up with Kuroo, after all,”

He kisses Tsukki deeply, and then as if to punctuate their morning with a full stop, pecks his cheek. 

He rises and slinks on his boxers and robe. 

Tsukki watches him, realizing with some sadness that whatever this morning was is over now. He’s not sure if he's messed up, if Akaashi isn't interested in watching - or - whatever. He gets out of bed, going to his bag and grabbing some pants and a shirt.

“Not usually - I guess,” Tsukki says, pulling on his shirt. 

“That’s not what I hear,” Akaashi says with a slight smile, “also not what I experienced,”

He steps to the door and notices Tsukki lagging behind.

“Did I misunderstand you?” he asks gently, “You're interested in being a voyeur, no?”

Tsukki looks at his hands, suddenly feeling a little lost.

“I-I don't want to intrude, I just,” he trails off, frustrated with himself, “yes, I’m interested but I'm not - I'm not good at - when I'm not in the moment,” he says, twisting his hands.

“That’s fine. You don't have to be seen,” Akaashi says, “could even add to the  _ experience _ if they didn't know you're watching. You have their consent.”

“That could- okay,” Tsukki nods, willing to follow Akaashi’s lead, “How?” 

“Follow me,” Akaashi says, and goes to the hallway. He stops just before the doorway and motions to Tsukki to be quiet and listen. Tsukki stands behind him, keeping close to the wall.

“So pretty,  _ they're so pretty,”  _ Bokuto is moaning, but it's muffled - he's moaning it against Kuroo’s mouth. Tsukki presses a fist to his mouth, stifling his whine.

Kuroo hums in satisfaction, but it sounds like a growl. “What do you think they did?” he whispers. 

Akaashi rounds the corner and leans on the doorway, just-barely-sheer silk robe cascading to the side. They make quite a sight, Kuroo sitting on the kitchen counter with Bokuto pressed against him. Kuroo’s mouth is on Bokuto’s neck. Tsukki can just peek around the corner and see them.

“We had sex, isn't it obvious?” 

Kuroo immediately turns and looks at Akaashi, concern flashes across his face. 

“Tsukki is in the shower,” Akaashi responds easily. “Don’t stop on my account…”

Bokuto whines, leaning to kiss Kuroo’s neck. His hands are trailing up Kuroo’s back, pushing his shirt up to reveal tan skin.

“Yeah but it's  _ Tsukki, _ ” he moans, “you two were so  _ pretty _ ,” Tsukki feels his cheeks get hot and a smile tug at his lips.

“Why does that change things?” Akaashi responds, feigning innocence. 

Bokuto gives Akaashi a desperate look.

“Because he- I certainly didn't expect him to be like - he was last night” the silver haired man whines in Kuroo’s neck, “What was it  _ like _ ?”

“You know how I like it, Koutarou,” Akaashi’s voice is smooth, soft, bare. 

Kuroo gasps, grits his teeth, grabs Bokuto’s ass and rocks his hips forward. 

“ _ Tsukki topped you?”  _ he says, burying his face in Bokuto’s shoulder. 

Bokuto can't seem to pull air into his lungs, so there's no volume when he says “ _ soft and slow, _ ” into Kuroo’s ear. Tsukki isn't sure how he feels about Kuroo’s tone, he sounds shocked, but not in a bad way. He sounds like that's better than he expected. Tsukki has to cover his face, to hide his smile. 

“Oh my god,” Bokuto whimpers, he's knees weak, “he- Tetsu, why did we get breakfast?  _ Why did we miss this _ ?” Bokuto works his hips against Kuroo, kissing him hungrily. Tsukki watches, biting his lip.

“He was  _ perfect,”  _ Akaashi sighs. “I was a little surprised myself at how easily the pleasure came. He opened up to me and I  _ melted _ for him.”

Akaashi takes a deep breath, as if steadying himself, as if thinking of his morning brought all of the sensations forward. 

“I'll tell you anything you want to know.”

“God, that's so hot,” Bokuto whines, “who- who started it?” 

Tsukki feels heat pool in his stomach. He turns, less careful about where he's standing, desperate to watch.

“He did, really,” Akaashi says, “I kissed first, but only after he said he wanted it.”

Kuroo groans again, his hands roaming Bokuto’s chest, pinching his nipples gently. 

Bokuto whimpers, moving his hands down to work his fingers into Kuroo’s pants and grip his ass. Kuroo bites his lip and claws into Bokuto’s chest. He's so hard, but they're just getting started.  _ Akaashi does love slow burns…  _

“Is he a good kisser?” Bokuto asks, “Did you like it?”

“Ah, that's right, you haven't kissed him yet,” Akaashi muses, “he is so very good at kissing. Very expressive. I was cautious, I gave him control from the beginning, to see what he would do. He couldn't keep his mouth off of me.  _ I loved it.” _

“Shit,” Tsukki whines before he can muffle it. Bokuto looks over, his gold eyes burning with lust. Tsukki ducks back, his skin burning, but then hiding seems silly. He moves back into Bokuto’s line of sight, a small gasp slipping out when he sees Bokuto kissing Kuroo with so much energy, eyes still on him.

“Looks like someone was being sneaky,” Bokuto murmurs with a smirk.

Kuroo glances to Akaashi and his eyes widen when he sees Tsukki there. 

“You’re both apparently too alluring for him to bear,” Akaashi says easily, then turns to Tsukki and whispers, “go get two lube packets from the dresser.”

Tsukki looks from Kuroo to Akaashi before walking over to the dresser, rummaging until he finds the lube packets. He brings them back over, hands shaking in anticipation.

“Mmm, Keiji, do I get to kiss him?” Bokuto asks, licking a stripe up Kuroo’s neck, drawing a ragged gasp from the raven. 

Tsukki flushes, looking at the ground and then at Akaashi, his eyes hopeful.

“You belong to me, Koutarou, but Tsukki doesn't,” Akaashi levels, taking the packets with a small  _ thank you.  _ “Whether he kisses you is his choice... but what happened to your interest in our morning?”

Tsukki gets the feeling that he shouldn’t go over and kiss Bokuto like he really wants to. He stands behind Akaashi, gaze riveted on Bokuto and Kuroo.

“Fuck,” Bokuto glances at the floor with a small moan, “please tell us.”

“Tell you about what?” Akaashi purrs. He looks at Bokuto but his hand finds its way to Tsukki’s hip, turning and pinning him to the wall. He palms the front of the blonde’s boxers. Tsukki whines, pushing his hips into Akaashi’s hand. He looks over at Bokuto and Kuroo, biting his lip.

“Do you want to know how we touched each other so tenderly we could hardly breathe? How we made out for so very long, grinding on each other's laps? How he sucked my cock? Begged for me to fuck his face?”

Kuroo’s breath hitches and he  _ whimpers _ . Bokuto presses his fingertips along Kuroo’s erection. Their pants are already unbuttoned and partially down so instead of touching through jeans, it's through boxers. Kuroo groans and his head falls forward, reaching down to grab Bokuto’s ass in approval. 

“Fuck,” Bokuto grunts, watching Tsukki, “what happened to  _ soft and slow _ ?” he asks. Tsukki lets out a gasping moan and reaches back to grasp at the door frame.

“He fuc-fucked my face, soft a-and sl-ooooh,” Tsukki says, his voice choked off.

Akaashi opens one packet of lube with his teeth and makes his hand slick with it. He tosses the other pack to Kuroo, who catches it and sets it next to them on the counter. 

“How, though?” Kuroo asks, genuinely.

Akaashi twists his hand around Tsukki’s cock, toying with the slit after one stroke. Tsukki keens, his hips twitching up as he chases the feeling.

“How, Tsukki?” Akaashi purrs.

“I-I was suc-king him o-off and-” Tsukki trails off, closing his eyes as he tries to take deep breaths; it’s soon enough after his last orgasm that it’s not going to take a lot to come again.

Bokuto feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room as he watches his gorgeous boyfriend work his hand over Tsukki’s cock. He works his fingers into Kuroo’s hair, whining against his mouth.

“And I held onto his hair and slowly rocked my hips,” Akaashi continues, “and I got so into it,  _ so into it,”  _ his breath hitches, “I undulated with pleasure, until the motion of fucking into his mouth took my whole body…”

Kuroo frees Bokuto’s cock and presses his thumb to the tip. Bokuto shouts, rocking his hips, trying to achieve some kind of friction.

“W-what was his mouth like?” Bokuto asks, pulling Kuroo’s boxers out of the way and wrapping trembling fingers around his cock.

“Have you ever fucked his face before, Tetsu?” Bokuto asks desperately. He’s not sure what he’ll do if he finds out that Akaashi was Tsukki’s first that way.

“ _ No.”  _

Kuroo can’t breathe, thinking of Tsukki’s yielding mouth receiving Akaashi’s cock via the tantalizing way Akaashi writhes. Thinking of Akaashi writhing. Thinking of Tsukki’s mouth being _fucked._ Of him _asking_ for it, of his own volition, his own desire. His pace on Bokuto’s cock quickens slightly, a way to beg for more pleasure himself.

“Oh fuck,” Bokuto whines, his hand working faster over Kuroo’s cock. He twists his hand under the head, panting into Kuroo’s mouth. 

“More, please tell us more. God, Tsukki’s  _ mouth _ ,” Bokuto gasps.

“P-please, Keiji,” Tsukki whines, pushing his hips into Akaashi’s hand desperately.

Akaashi twists his wrist in a languid stroke up and down Tsukki’s hard cock, making the blond whine, his fingers turning white where they press into the wall.

“He took your advice, Bokuto. He took my cock so well, he was so  _ willing  _ and his mouth felt so good I was close to coming.”

Bokuto keens, hiding his face in Kuroo’s shoulder. 

“You felt so good in my mouth,” Tsukki pants, thrusting his hips forward into Akaashi’s hand. He looks over at Kuroo and Bokuto, a moan slipping out of him when he sees Bokuto sucking on Kuroo’s neck.

“Did you- nnghh, Kou-” Kuroo strains. He fumbles to grab the lube pack and, while Bokuto is biting and sucking his neck in a way that makes him  _ weak _ , begins to warm some on his fingers. “Did you-- mmmh -- did you c-come in his mm-mouth?”

“No,” Akaashi responds coolly, “he asked if he could fuck me.”

“I-I’m fuck Keiji I- hold on,” Tsukki moans. There’s no way he’s going to be able to last. 

Bokuto looks over, staring at Tsukki’s red skin and stuttering hips.

“You think he’s going to come?” He rasps. He wants to watch Tsukki come apart, he wants to hear Akaashi’s calm voice as Tsukki whimpers and screams.

“Would you like him to?” Akaashi asks, pausing his hand on Tsukki’s cock, “there's more to the story…”

He lowers his voice to speak to Tsukki. “Would you like to control when you come, or leave it up to me?”

Bokuto growls, biting Kuroo’s neck. He works his hand over the raven haired man furiously, desperately. 

Kuroo slicks up his own cock, then Bokuto’s, before pressing them together. 

“I want to hear the rest,” he gasps, “ _ and _ watch him come.” He looks at Kuroo desperately. Kuroo kisses him, hard, and slides his fist down over their touching cocks. Bokuto moans into his mouth, bringing his hand to wrap around with Kuroo’s.

“You, please, you,” Tsukki breathes, his hips shaking as he tries to keep them still.

Akaashi grins and teases Tsukki’s slit. Tsukki’s knees feel weak and he sags further into the wall.

“He worked me open with his fingers,” Akaashi continues, “until I was begging for his cock…”

Bokuto whines, knowing how Akaashi sounds when he’s begging to be fucked.

“He’s so pretty when he begs, Tetsu, he’s  _ so pretty _ ,” Bokuto whimpers.

Bokuto swirls his thumb over the heads of their cocks. Kuroo groans and gasps, thrusting slightly into Bokuto’s hand and clawing down his back.

“K-Kei, did you-?” 

“Y-yes, he-he felt so  _ good _ ,” Tsukki whines, looking at Kuroo and biting his lip.

Kuroo makes eye contact with Tsukki. His breath hitches, his hand tightens, he picks up the pace, and breathes Bokuto’s name.

“He took me in my favorite position…” Akaashi begins.

“Felt so good, so tight,” Tsukki moans. Bokuto chokes.

“You-you kissed him, right? Kei, you kissed Keiji?” He asks, his fingers focused right under the head of Kuroo’s cock.

Akaashi resumes the long, curving strokes on Tsukki’s cock, waiting for his answer.

“Y-yeah, yes, I- so good at kissing,” Tsukki says, “can- Keiji can you kiss me now?” He asks desperately. Bokuto keens.

“But Kei,” Akaashi says, tenderly touching the blonde’s cheek, as well as his cock, “the story isn’t over. Don’t you want Tetsurou and Koutarou to hear about how you hooked my thighs over your arms and-” 

His breath hitches, and he calls forth everything that Tsukki made him feel this morning, full-on showing them alongside telling them as he continues, “ _fucked me_ -” his hips twist and he writhes slightly where he stands, “ _hard, and-”_ he allows his face to shatter, moaning lewdly before choking out, “-deep!”

“Oh,  _ FUCK!”  _ And Kuroo is coming hard, his form convulsing and curling into Bokuto. Bokuto follows soon after, yelling as he starts to fuck up into his and Kuroo’s hands. He pulls his friend in for a kiss, moaning into his mouth as he works them through orgasm weakly.

Tsukki’s orgasm builds and peaks faster than he expects. He makes a weak sound, reaching and grabbing Akaashi’s shoulder. Akaashi mutes Tsukki’s moaning in a deep and  _ starving _ kiss.

“I-sorry,” Tsukki gasps, looking down at where his cum is on Akaashi’s hand.

“Shh, shh,  _ please _ , you feel so good in my hand…”

Bokuto kisses Kuroo one more time, looking over at Akaashi and then back at his friend, asking silent permission. Kuroo gives him a fond look before jerking his head towards Akaashi. With one last, quick, kiss, Bokuto untangles himself from Kuroo and goes over to Akaashi, crossing the space in four long strides. 

Tsukki moves out of the way in time for Bokuto to grab Akaashi, who picks him up in a smooth movement and presses him into the wall. Akaashi wraps his legs around Bokuto’s waist and writhes into his touch.

Tsukki moves out of the way, closer to Kuroo after tucking himself back in his pants.

“So beautiful,” Bokuto moans, kissing Akaashi quickly, “let me take care of you? Please?” He begs, voice strained.

“ _ Yes _ , my Koutarou - want you,” Akaashi gasps between kisses. 

That’s all Bokuto needs before he’s setting Akaashi down, removing his boxers, and hoisting his left thigh over his shoulder. One hand firmly grasps Akaashi’s left ass cheek, and the other trails up his chest, pressing into his skin all over. 

He looks up at Akaashi, licking precum off of the head of his cock...then he swallows it to the base in one smooth, fluid motion.

Akaashi moans, uninhibited by Tsukki and Kuroo's eyes. He grabs at Bokuto’s shirt, pulling it up with one hand and letting his fingers stroke through Bokuto’s hair.

“Such a lovely mouth, so good to me,” Akaashi whimpers. 

Tsukki shivers leaning into Kuroo’s warmth, craving touch after such an intense orgasm.

Kuroo puts his arm around Tsukki and whispers in his ear. 

“ _ Would you like to kiss Bokuto?” _

The sound Tsukki makes isn’t quite loud enough for the two men across the room to hear, but he knows that Kuroo hears it.

“Yeah,” he whispers back, turning enough that he can look at Kuroo’s face before stepping away and walking over to where Bokuto is pulling delicious sounds out of Akaashi. He kneels next to Bokuto, looking up at Akaashi’s face briefly before gently taking Bokuto’s chin and steering him away from Akaashi’s cock.

“Kei- what-” Akaashi starts, annoyance lacing his tone, until he sees Tsukki kiss Bokuto, slowly opening his mouth and tasting Akaashi for the second time today on the silver haired man's tongue. 

Akaashi twists in pleasure, forcing Bokuto to tighten his grip. The view is  _ stunning _ , but he still wants attention on his aching cock.

Bokuto moans into the kiss, keyed up on the whole situation. He uses one finger to guide their mouths closer to Akaashi’s cock. 

Tsukki presses a kiss against the side of Akaashi’s shaft, letting his mouth open almost lazily. His lips brush against Bokuto’s and he moans, the sound vibrating against Bokuto’s mouth and the head of Akaashi’s cock.

“Oh god,” Akaashi moans helplessly as he melts into the wall, more of his weight settling onto Bokuto’s shoulder. 

Bokuto lavishes his tongue all along Akaashi’s cock, and Tsukki follows his lead, their tongues meeting every so often and teasing each other. 

Akaashi is shaking, gasping, watching. He twists his grip in Bokuto’s hair. 

“Koutarou!” he commands. 

Bokuto cries out at the sudden pain, fingers digging into the meat of Akaashi’s ass. Tsukki sits back, chest heaving while he watches Bokuto swallow Akaashi’s cock again, moaning as his nose presses against Akaashi’s body.

Akaashi’s hands press onto Bokuto’s head, fisting into his hair, holding him down onto his cock as he climaxes. Bokuto can't moan but  _ God  _ does he want to when he feels Akaashi’s cock pulsing in his mouth and his come sliding down his throat. 

Once Bokuto feels Akaashi slump back, his body relaxed, he pulls off his cock, kissing the over sensitive flesh gently. He lets Akaashi put his leg down and stands, kissing him lazily and murmuring sweet nothings against his lips. 

Tsukki feels like he’s intruding on the intimate display and he retreats back to Kuroo where he still sits on the counter. The weight of the morning’s activities start to set into his shoulders and he’s  _ exhausted _ . 

Kuroo wraps his arms around Tsukki and kisses his cheek and neck softly. 

“That was incredible,” he whispers. 

Tsukki doesn’t try to hide his smile, kissing Kuroo as his eyes start to droop.

“Mm, it was great, this has all been great,” Tsukki mumbles, “my thighs hurt,”

“Yeah that'll happen. Breakfast?” Kuroo says, reaching over and grabbing the bag that was forlorn what seems like forever ago. 

“Mmm, what did you get?” Akaashi mumbles, exposing his neck to Bokuto’s kisses and praise. 

“Crêpes,” Bokuto says into Akaashi’s shoulder. 

“You can’t eat crêpes in bed,” Tsukki says mournfully while his stomach growls; he’s just so sleepy.

“Is he always this pathetic?” Bokuto chuckles into Akaashi’s neck.

“Hey, don't call him that…” Kuroo defends. “Yes you can eat crêpes in bed, they're handheld. Here.”

Kuroo pulls one out of the bag, a triangle foil with cardboard, and hands it to Tsukki. 

“That’s right, defend my honor,” Tsukki says, taking a bite of the crepe and making a happy noise. Akaashi smiles indulgently at the blond.

“Well, then bring them to bed,” he says, kissing Bokuto.

Kuroo passes out the rest of the crêpes before Tsukki lets him slide off the counter. All four men trail into the bedroom, arranging themselves comfortably. Akaashi and Bokuto are nearly wrapped around each other, kissing between bites of their breakfast and murmuring softly to each other. Kuroo situates himself so that he’s sitting against the headboard and Tsukki is more than happy to lean against him - however, he slouches so that he isn’t sitting directly on his bruises.

“So, Tsukki,” Akaashi says suddenly, once they’ve all finished and the trash has been taken care of, looking at the blond over Bokuto’s shoulder, “has this experience been good for you?” 

Tsukki turns bright red and looks at the three other men, all of whom are staring back, waiting for an answer. He can feel Kuroo’s thumb brush against his leg, and it’s scary how much his heart clenches, knowing that they care so much.

“Uh, yeah, yes, it was,” Tsukki finally says, unable to stop the small genuine smile that pulls at the corners of his mouth.

“Even Bokuto?” Kuroo teases. Tsukki glares up at him before looking over at Bokuto, ready to say that he wasn’t worried, but the silver haired man looks earnestly sincere next to Akaashi.

“It’s okay, Tsukki, I know you weren’t sure about me,” Bokuto says quietly. Tsukki doesn’t like how Bokuto’s expression shifts slightly, as if he were anticipating Tsukki’s disapproval. Akaashi frowns and presses his nose against Bokuto’s temple.

“I wasn’t sure…” Tsukki says and Bo nods slightly, “but, I can honestly say that this has been...eye-opening.” Bokuto searches Tsukki’s face for a long moment before beaming.

“Would you- could we- would you be interested in doing it again? Sometime?” Bokuto questions, enthusiastic and bright. 

Tsukki looks at the three other men and then down at his hands. It’s like having sex with Kuroo all over again, suddenly, there’s excitement and anticipation crawling over his skin. He wants to know what will come next.

“I think I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello yes hi this is he11ebore and im really sorry, definitely also not sorry, idk man 22k of kinky smut i i just -- pass the holy water? idk? hope you liked it anyway
> 
> ch7 is in beta and, um, uh, my sun and stars oikawa tooru returns and um uh uhhhhhhhhhhhhh *sweats*
> 
> thank you as always for reading and commenting~


	7. February

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki’s not sure exactly what happens; one minute, he’s sitting, trying to take deep breaths, the next, he’s pulling roughly at Oikawa’s shoulder while his other hand makes a fist, and the next, his knuckles are making contact with Oikawa’s cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We posted the BokuAka spinoff, [The Grooming Process](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8085730/chapters/18528436)! It takes place in the same universe and starts when Bokuto and Akaashi meet, then spans through Closet Case and beyond! (and yes, we hear you, there's plenty of bokuakakurotsuki play coming in that one. ;) )
> 
> Thanks as always to for being our beloved beta, BecauseISaidSo.
> 
> (if oitsukki or consensual hatefucking is a hard limit for you, you can bail by skipping to "Tsukki crosses his arms over his chest", but please read their epic banter we're so proud of it //////)

Tsukki thinks there might be nothing better than a sleepy, rainy evening he gets to spend with Yamaguchi on the couch. Yamaguchi is between weddings, so he doesn’t have to work extra hours from home, pouring over swatch books and menus, and Tsukki just finished a deadline, so work has been quiet for a couple of days. The blond doesn’t have a single fuck to give, Yamaguchi snuggled on top of him, a blanket covering them both. He doesn’t even care that what they’re watching is stupid. He’s content.

“Hey, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi breaks the relative quiet. Tsukki hums a little to let his partner know that he’s listening. It’s a surprise when Yamaguchi eases up to sit on the other end of the couch, bringing the blanket with him. Tsukki sits up as well, and the air suddenly seems...different.

“What is it, Tadashi?” Tsukki asks, his gaze darting over his best friend, trying to parse out what could be wrong, why their cuddling had to stop.

“I want to tell you something, I’ve wanted to for a while now...and I think it might upset you,” Yamaguchi says, his voice soft. He’s not looking at Tsukki, and it’s been a long time since he hasn’t been able to keep eye contact when talking about something important. The taller man feels something clench inside of him.

“Oh,” is all he can manage. Yamaguchi looks up and he…he looks so upset.

“I don’t like feeling like I’m keeping secrets from you, and I’m probably making this a bigger deal of this than it actually is, but. I want you to know, Oikawa, from the flower shop?” Yamaguchi looks up through his bangs just in time to see Tsukki’s frown. The brunette sighs and looks back at his hands.

“What about him?” Tsukki rasps. _Please don’t be with him, please don’t be with him, not with him. Don’t choose him over me._

“He and I used to be...involved, I guess? I suppose technically we’re still open to hooking up, but, we haven’t in a little while,” Yamaguchi’s laugh is short, forced, fake.

_They’re not together. They’re not- did that fucker turn_ Tadashi _down?_

“Anyway, I just...wanted to tell you that. Because, well, like I said, I felt like I was hiding something from you, and I never want to do that.”

Tsukki feels like he’s falling. What is he supposed to say to that? What’s the proper response to your best friend, your life partner, telling you that he didn’t feel like he could be open and honest about himself.

“Oh, okay,” Tsukki says. He wants to rewind, he wants to go back to five minutes ago, when Yamaguchi’s head was on his chest and everything felt kind of hazy and wonderful. Rather than say anything else, Tsukki sits back and opens his arms, beckoning Yamaguchi to lie back down on him. The shorter man smiles, small, tight, unsure, but still situates himself comfortable on top of Tsukki once more.

“Thanks for being okay with it, Kei,” Yamaguchi says softly, a little while later. Tsukki simply hums again. Tomorrow it will be okay. Tomorrow he won’t feel like such a horrible friend.

 

Tomorrow doesn’t necessarily feel better, but, Tsukki manages to make it through breakfast. Yamaguchi has been tentative, testing the waters, but perks up pretty fast when Tsukki’s silence seems more like morning grumpiness than anything else.

Tsukki goes to work, forces himself to concentrate for eight long hours, and decides he doesn’t want to be home yet. Instead, he goes to the bar. Kuroo isn’t working tonight, but, maybe Bokuto could cheer him up a little. He doesn’t really see the other patrons when he walks in and takes a seat at the bar, but it doesn’t take long for neighboring conversation to filter through his exhausted haze.

A familiar, infuriating voice finally cuts through and brings clarity.

“Ahh, Makki, there’s no one interesting to take home anymore,” Oikawa whines. Tsukki glances over with a sharp scowl, quickly forcing his gaze to Hinata, who’s brightly asking for his order.

“Whiskey and coke,” Tsukki bites out, throat tight. Hinata nods and grabs a glass, and within seconds, Tsukki’s drink is on a napkin in front of him.

“What about that freckled guy? The wedding planner?” Makki asks, “He was good right? Call him up.”

Tsukki does his best to keep focused on his drink, on his phone, but he tunes into their conversation despite his efforts.

Oikawa, all brightness and ignorance, replies, “I don't quite remember that one…”

Tsukki feels his fingers tighten around his glass. Who the fuck does Oikawa think he is? That he can just fuck people and forget about them. Tsukki bites the inside of his cheek and stares at his reflection in the mirror behind the bar.

Makki quirks a brow. “You always remember who you fuck, Oikawa.”

Oikawa shrugs, “Maybe he didn't leave a lasting impression. Anyways-”

That’s the last fucking straw. Tsukki’s not sure exactly what happens; one minute, he’s sitting, trying to take deep breaths, the next, he’s pulling roughly at Oikawa’s shoulder while his other hand makes a fist, and the next, his knuckles are making contact with Oikawa’s cheek.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” He spits, his voice harsh from his tight throat, “you’re _lucky_ Yamaguchi decided to take you home, you arrogant dick!”

Oikawa reels out of his seat. Makki stays put, stunned. Still crouching, Oikawa wipes his mouth. Finding blood on his fingers, he brings his big brown eyes to stare at Tsukki with terrifying focus. Tsukki manages to stand his ground, but a chill goes through him.

Bokuto vaults over the bar and stands between them.

“Hey!” he booms, “both of you! Out, now!”

The two men stay fixed in place, glaring at each other through Bokuto.

The silver haired man grabs each of their collars and shoves them out the door. Tsukki starts to protest, but stops when he gets a decent look at Bokuto’s face without Oikawa in his line of sight.

“Settle up later. You're banned for the night, and longer if you can't control yourselves in my bar.”

He turns on his heel and goes back inside.

Tsukki glares at his back, his arms crossed and his knuckles throbbing. What the hell had he been thinking, _punching_ Oikawa for running his fucking mouth. Yamaguchi’s nervous expression from the previous night flashes in Tsukki’s mind.

It’s not like Tsukki doesn’t know he’s an asshole, but, the fact that Yamaguchi felt like he couldn’t share something with him made him feel sick to his stomach. And now Oikawa - he fucking acts like Yamaguchi wasn’t worth remembering?

Oikawa is the first to break the tense silence.

“Honestly, what the fuck?”

Tsukki’s fingers clench and he scowls at Oikawa.

“I think it’s pretty obvious,” he snaps, anger fresh in his skin, “someone needs to knock you on your ass more often.”

“I don't pick fights with strangers,” Oikawa sneers, “I have simple decency.”

Tsukki doesn’t bother trying to hold in his sharp laugh. He turns, using his height to loom over Oikawa.

“We both know that’s not fucking true,” he says, his voice slipping from sharp to something more collected, “do you ever get tired of lying to everyone all the damn time?”

“I'm not lying,” Oikawa says, taking a step closer to Tsukki, “I can’t tell you how many times I've wanted to punch you in the mouth, but I have self-control.”

“That’s laughable coming from a slut like you,” Tsukki challenges.

“Is that supposed to hurt my feelings?” Oikawa coos, “I hear you like them slutty, Tsukki-chan~”

Tsukki growls and shoves Oikawa back into the wall hard enough to hear a dull thump, crowding him back and bracing his hands on the wall so that the brunette is caged in.

“That may be, but at least Kuroo has _standards_ and doesn’t treat his partners like trash once he’s done with them,” Tsukki snaps, accusation dripping from his words.

“Maybe if they were a little higher, I wouldn't have to pick up your _slack_ all the time!” Oikawa shoves his palm against Tsukki's sternum at the word ‘slack’.

Tsukki stares, taken aback by the comment. Oikawa uses the opportunity to advance.

“Or did you not know that he comes to me after,” he purrs, voice all velvet and saccharine, “to bang someone capable?”

Tsukki feels something in his chest clench, but he mentally forces it back, doesn't let himself focus on the implication that he's not good enough for Kuroo.

“Those are some big words,” he spits, forcing a sneer on to his face, “why don't you fucking prove it?”

“Oh? Want to settle this like _men_?” Oikawa growls. He writhes against the wall, pressing his hips against Tsukki. “Who's the slut now? What makes you think you _deserve_ me?”

“It’s not a matter of _deserving_ ,” Tsukki drawls, leaning forward as if touching Oikawa isn't affecting him, “I've got time to kill before going to Kuroo’s,” His eyes light up and a grin spreads up one side of his face, “so why not fuck both ends of the spectrum in one night?”

“ _You…”_ Tooru spits, and then he's shoving one hand onto Tsukki's arm and slamming up, freeing himself. He grabs Tsukki by the shirt, slams him into the wall, and kisses him _fiercely,_ punctuating the smooth movement with a bite to his lower lip.

“ _I'll make you pay for that.”_

Tsukki grabs Oikawa’s hair, pulling it back hard enough that he knows it will hurt, exposing his long, pale neck, and bites. Oikawa grunts and gasps, teeth gritted and bared. As Tsukki pulls back he licks his lips.

“I highly doubt that,” he sneers, glad to know that he’s gotten under Oikawa’s skin. The next words drip with heavy sarcasm. “But go ahead, try to _wow me_.”

“Can you even take a cock yet, newbie?”

“Probably better than you,” Tsukki punctuates with another tug on Oikawa’s hair.

“Good,” Oikawa snaps, “I don't need you fumbling around trying to figure out what to do with me.”

“Wait, you mean that you don’t come with an instruction manual?” Tsukki asks, mocking surprise on his face. “I thought all tools came with one.”

Oikawa shoves Tsukki off of him and walks away. Tsukki watched him go, confused as to why Oikawa is just _leaving._

“Already, you can't keep up?” Oikawa sings back to the blond, “ _pathetic.”_

_That_ makes more sense. Tsukii catches up to Oikawa quickly, plastering a smirk on his face.

“No, I just know what a temperamental brat you are, so I thought you were going to have your tantrum somewhere else,” Tsukki says coolly. He figures they're going back to Oikawa’s apartment, and his skin starts to prickle with anticipation.

Oikawa remains silent the short walk to his apartment. It takes all of his self control not to take Tsukki in the _elevator._

He opens the door and kicks his shoes off wordlessly, then doesn't bother to wait for Tsukki and huffs to the bedroom.

Tsukki takes his time taking off his shoes, glancing around the entry way. Are those alien posters peeking from the living room? After another moment, because he figures going slow will piss Oikawa off, he walks to the bedroom.

“It's fine, I'm not thirsty,” he says, “are you this rude with _all_ your house guests?”

Oikawa snatches him and slams him to the bed, shoving his leg between Tsukki's. He grinds down as he pushes Tsukki's shirt up.

“You're not a guest,” he growls, biting Tsukki's hip, “you're a _toy_.”

Tsukki stubbornly stays quiet, reaching around to pull Oikawa's shirt roughly, unfazed at the sound of stitches popping.

“I would say the same of you, but then, I'm guaranteed to have a good time with toys, while this is more like a chore,” he snarls.

Since Tsukki shows no regard for Oikawa's apparel, Oikawa decides to show none to Tsukki's. He rips Tsukki’s shirt open with force, sending buttons flying off, and digs his nails across his chest.

“Fuck you,” Tsukki gasps. There are a couple of fading bruises left over from the last time he and Kuroo had sex, and Oikawa's nails dig right into them. Tsukki's responds by scratching at Oikawa's back before pulling at his hair.

“You _wish_ ,” Oikawa snaps, pinning Tsukki's arms above his head and raking his teeth down his neck.

Tsukki pulls against Oikawa’s hold, anger swelling at the fact that he can’t stop his gasps. He’s going to be absolutely _covered_ with marks after this isn’t he?

“What, afraid that you’ll have to come back to me begging for more?” Tsukki asks, lifting his hips to grind against Oikawa. “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t tell too many people just how pathetic you are,” he promises, his voice sticky sweet.

“I'm sure I'll be begging for more but not from you,” Oikawa grits, “unlike my partner in crime, I find sex with rookies boring. Has Tetsu-chan-sensei even taught you how to choke?”

“Why the fuck would he have taught me that?” Tsukki asks, too surprised by the question to keep his voice hard.

“Honestly?” Oikawa asks, sharp but curious. “Does he hold your hand through everything? Are you that fucking fragile?”

Again, the spot in Tsukki’s chest clenches but he swallows back against it.

“No,” Tsukki snaps, his fingers clenching into fists. “Apparently your tastes are just more fucked up than mine.” Tsukki twists his arms, pulling out of Oikawa’s grip and using his momentum to flip them. He presses Oikawa’s shoulders into the bed.

“Which doesn’t surprise me, honestly.”

“We both fuck Kuroo and I know you've _seen_ Akaashi,” Oikawa levels with a broad grin, “quit acting all high and mighty.”

“That might be, but only one of us is asking about _choking_ ,” Tsukki reminds him. He decides to interrupt the conversation, surging forward to kiss Oikawa roughly. He digs his fingertips into Oikawa’s shoulders and bites at his lips, forcing all doubt from Oikawa’s words to the back of his mind.

Oikawa surges into the contact, then closes his eyes and breathes deep.

“Time out. Do you want to learn how?”

Tsukki leans back, searching Oikawa's face for a trap. Not seeing one, he gives Oikawa more space and shrugs.

“Sure,” he says, happy when his voice comes out more confident than he feels.

Oikawa takes Tsukki's hand, gently, and exposes his neck for the blond. He guides his hand to wrap around his throat.

“You stop the blood here and here, where you can feel a pulse,” he explains coolly, pressing Tsukki's fingers gently to the sides of his neck. “Only maintain pressure if I'm grabbing your arm, hard. And _never_ put weight or force of any kind on someone's windpipe. Got it?”

Tsukki takes a breath and nods, letting his finger press just slightly, enough to feel the pulse points on either side of Oikawa’s neck, but the sudden change in mood is throwing him off.

“Why are you being decent?” He asks.

“I like this game,” he says, “but I want us both to leave here satisfied and uninjured. Got any limits?”

Tsukki freezes, debating on whether to tell Oikawa about his humiliation limit. Considering the nature of this hookup, he can't imagine that Oikawa wouldn't use that to his advantage, no matter what he might say.

“No, I'm good. You?”

“Nope.”

Oikawa doesn't leave room for a breath before he's back handing Tsukki across the face. With Tsukki off guard and reeling, Tooru pins him down, chest to the mattress. He digs fiercely into his shoulder blades and bites his shoulder hard.

Tsukki’s not exactly sure what just happened, but the pain blossoming in his shoulders forces a moan out of his throat. Not willing to give up, he bucks his hips, reaching an arm back, ignoring the awkward angle, to once again take hold of Oikawa’s hair.

Oikawa _moans_ , deep and from his diaphragm in a way that makes Tsukki feel heat in his chest. He catches himself quickly, grabbing the blond’s hair back just as hard.

“Fuck,” Tsukki grunts, this time his hips bucking of their own accord. He lets his fingernails scratch over Oikawa’s scalp, his arm starting to cramp.

“ _Do you want me to fuck you?”_ Oikawa growls into Tsukki's ear, “do you think you can _handle_ me?”

“Sure, go for it,” Tsukki sneers, “I could use a power nap before actually getting fucked later.”

“Ha, and I guess you think you could rock my world?” Oikawa scoffs, dismissive, slapping Tsukki's hand out of his hair.

Tsukki turns enough to knock Oikawa off balance and then uses his momentum to pin the older man on his back, kissing him hard enough that they’ll both bruise. He grabs one of Oikawa’s hands and pulls it up over his head while he grinds his hips against his thigh, making sure that no part of him is touching Oikawa’s erection.

“I _think_ that I’ll be more entertained using you to get off like _this_ ,” he growls, “I _know_ that I will rock your world.”

“Not like that you won't,” Oikawa says. “Protection and lube is on the night stand. Don't fuck it up or it'll literally be your ass.”

Tsukki smirks triumphantly before climbing off the bed and going to the night stand. He takes a moment to take off his pants, surprisingly unfazed by being naked in front of Oikawa. He realizes that in this moment, he doesn’t care what the older man thinks of him.

Oikawa undresses as well, hard cock and flushed skin betraying his aloof, inconvenienced demeanor. He has something sharp on the tip of his tongue but after all he does want to be fucked, so now isn't the time.

Tsukki climbs over him, pushing him back onto the bed. He pulls on a glove and pumps lube into his hand, working it between his fingers so that Oikawa has to wait.

“Oh, I see,” Oikawa says, through a yawn, “you're doing the thing where you take your time and make me wait. I know you're _trying_ , but you just look confused about where the fingers go. Pick it up.

”Tsukki rolls his eyes and touches Oikawa’s with his finger, but just barely presses against him.

“See, the fingers go here,” Tsukki says, as if he’s talking to an idiot. He presses a little harder, just enough to breach Oikawa before pulling back.

“Ask for it,” he says, his voice low.Oikawa's face is blank and his eyes are fire when he says “Make me.”

Tsukki sighs, and pulls out. He thinks for a second, trying to figure out how to make this self-serving asshole- that’s it.

The blonde scoots back, mindful of his gloved hand, and wraps his long fingers around Oikawa’s cock. He strokes him, slow enough to keep his pleasure in check.

“Ask for it,” he says again, ready for the long haul.

“No.”

Tsukki merely quickens his pace, adding a twist underneath the head and watches Oikawa.

“Ask for it,” he repeats. Oikawa doesn’t know that Tsukki could do this all night, with how often he ends up edging himself.

Oikawa's flush is deepening and his eyelids are a little more heavy, but he otherwise maintains his stoic face.

“ _No.”_ and there's the slightest lilt of huskiness there.

Rolling his eyes this time, Tsukki leans down and sucks the head of Oikawa’s cock into his mouth, tonguing his slit. His hand slows, teasing the base of Oikawa’s shaft. The flush creeps down Oikawa's chest and his lips part, pleasure melting the façade.

_It's about being attentive._

Tsukki's gloved hand comes up to tease at Oikawa’s entrance, a promise for later. After a moment he pulls off.

“Ask for it,” he says, a little breathless in spite of himself. He rocks from side of side, slightly, trying to give himself some relief.

“Fuck me,” Oikawa breathes, letting Tsukki have this minor victory.

Tsukki smirks and leans down again, breathes over Oikawa’s cock and presses his finger in slowly. Oikawa feels hot around his finger, and part of him screams to just go fast and get this over with, so that he can be inside Oikawa to the hilt and take his pleasure, but a bigger part wants to play this game. He keeps moving at a snail’s pace, waiting for Oikawa to crack.

Oikawa is still fighting not to show pleasure but his compromised position takes some spite out of him.

“ _More_ ,” he whines, “I'm not _delicate.”_

“Who said anything about being delicate?” Tsukki asks innocently. He continues at his pace until, “you have to ask me, _nicely_.”

“Why should I?”

“Well, I can just stop, if that’s what you really want,” Tsukki shrugs casually, pulling his finger out.

“Please give me more!” Oikawa forces out against his better judgment. _Soon,_ he tells himself. Patience.

The smile Tsukki gives him would be called “sunny” on anyone else, but it’s ruined by Tsukki’s smugness. He presses his finger back in, twisting it for another minute before pulling out and pushing in another. He sets his pace a little faster, eager to prepare Oikawa and get some relief.

“See, was that so hard?” He asks.

“Harder than you can believe, Kei-chan.”

Tsukki stops, frowning. His name in Oikawa’s voice sounds so wrong, and he knows that Oikawa is mocking him, that he shouldn’t rise to the bait, but he still snarls, “Don’t call me that.”

“Oh but we’re being intimate,” Oikawa says, rocking his hips down onto Tsukki's fingers, voice like honey. “I should at least be on first name basis with you, _Kei-chan.”_

“Fuck off,” Tsukki spits. “I can just fucking leave,” he threatens, although his fingers don’t stop inside Oikawa.

“But Kei-chan you fuck me so well when you hate me,” and Oikawa openly moans, for the first time tonight.

“Why is it whenever you speak I want to wring your neck,” Tsukki growls, pressing into Oikawa’s prostate without warning.

Oikawa shrieks and grits his teeth, but rocks down on Tsukki's hand indicating he wants more.

“You don't-” he grits, “have the balls to!”

Tsukki almost asks if Oikawa is sure before deciding that he really doesn’t have to. He lets go of Oikawa’s cock and reaches up for his neck, pressing his calloused fingertips into Oikawa’s pulse points.

Automatically, Oikawa's hand comes to Tsukki's forearm, fingers digging into Tsukki's muscles.

He presses into Oikawa’s prostate again and again, letting some of his frustration be satisfaction at his upper hand. Oikawa's mouth opens in a silent moan. His airway isn't restricted, but Tsukki can feel resistance in Oikawa's throat through his palm, which rests gently above the brunettes flesh.

Oikawa's cock _throbs_ from the pressure and the heat coursing through him. His brow furrows, his breathing shallows.

Tsukki counts to three and takes his hand away from Oikawa's throat, at the same time easing back from his prostate. He watches Oikawa, concern plain on his face.

“Was that okay?”

“The _fuck_ do you think?” Oikawa moans, writhing slightly on the bed. He seems to remember himself then, and exhales deeply before continuing. “Yes, that was more than okay. You can do it again.”

Tsukki gives a quick nod and presses his fingers back in, going straight for Oikawa's prostate again. His fingers tighten and he watches more closely this time, while Oikawa's breaths becomes more shallow and his face gets redder.

“I can't believe you get off on this,” he says. His voice is more curious than malicious.

“I can’t - ah!” Oikawa’s voice grates against Tsukki’s skin, “I can’t believe Tetsurou hasn’t tried this with you.”

Rather than answer, Tsukki presses harder against Oikawa's prostate, hoping to distract him. The thought of being choked by Kuroo sends a chill through him, and he's not sure if it's a good one or bad. He wonders briefly _why_ Kuroo hadn't mentioned it, since he must be fond of it based on what Oikawa is saying. He releases Oikawa's throat and eases back from his prostate again.

“You must be a bigger freak than me,” he says, but his voice doesn't carry the same heat.

“A newbie _and_ vanilla,” Oikawa marvels softly. “My Tetsurou, what have you gotten into?”

“Do you always talk this fucking much?” Tsukki snaps, Oikawa mentioning Kuroo making his skin prickle in an unpleasant way. He lets his fingers tease Oikawa’s prostate, barely touching it, just to see the cocky brunette squirm.

“Maybe if you kept me more _engaged_ I wouldn't be thinking of other men in bed with you.”

“Maybe if you deserved it I would try harder,” Tsukki retorts, giving Oikawa’s prostate a hard press.

Oikawa shouts and bends back, cock now _painfully_ hard, and he _wants._

“I'm bored of this,” he groans, but there's so much pleasure there, “fuck me properly.”

“Is that the way to ask for something you want?” Tsukki sneers.

“Is that the way you respond when a man wants your dick?” Oikawa huffs, “ _I want your cock in me, Kei-chan.”_

Tsukki sighs, leaning forward so that he can whisper in Oikawa’s ear.

“Fucking ask me properly,” he hisses, pressing into Oikawa’s prostate and rocking his hand gently.

“Fuck me or you won't get any satisfaction because I am _going to come like this_!” Oikawa hisses, rolling his hips back for more.

“You’re assuming that fucking you would be satisfying,” Tsukki says, pulling his fingers back and almost all the way out. “I can just go…” he trails off.

“No no no, _please,”_ Oikawa whines, trying to push back onto Tsukki's fingers to no avail. “Just fuck me already!”

Tsukki figures that’s good enough and he pulls out completely, discarding his glove and opening the condom as fast as he can. Just putting the condom on is enough to make him whimper. He wastes no time lining himself up and pushing in, a moan ripping out of him. Oikawa can't hear it for the scream that escapes his own throat.

Tsukki has to pause and take a breath; having so much stimulation on his cock after going so long without threatens to make him come on the spot.

“Fuck-” Tooru chokes, grabbing onto Tsukki's arms and whimpering from being so full so fast. “ _Fuck…”_

Tsukki knows he’s not going to last, but he tries to breathe, to give Oikawa time to adjust.

“I have- fuckfuck- i have to move,” he gasps, his hips twitching and his arms shaking in his effort not to move.

Oikawa reaches up, digging his fingers Into Tsukki's shoulders and pulls himself up to roll his hips off of and onto Tsukki's cock.

“O-oh _fuck_ ,” Tsukki gasps, grabbing Oikawa’s hips and starting to fuck into him. He tries to keep a steady pace, as much as he can considering. He draws out admittedly sexy sounds from Oikawa beneath him.

It's not long before he has to slow down and breathe, lest he get completely overwhelmed.

“Whats- ah!” Oikawa gasps through hitched breaths, “what's the holdup?”

“Just- give me a damn minute,” Tsukki huffs. Lucky for him Oikawa talking seems to take the edge off.

“Keep _going,”_ Oikawa barks, “fuck me like I know you want to fuck Freckles-kun!”

It’s like in the bar, one second, Tsukki is reeling from Oikawa’s words, and the next he’s backhanding him across the mouth, anger firing under his skin.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he hisses before pulling out and flipping Oikawa.

“Oh but I just did,” Oikawa coos, not fighting Tsukki, “I do remember him, you know. Tada-chan sucked my cock like he was _born_ to.”

“I can’t even look at your damn face anymore,” Tsukki says, gripping Oikawa's hair and cramming his face into the mattress as he slides back in, this time not really concerned with being careful. He doesn’t wait long before pulling out and ramming back in, starting a furious pace, wanting Oikawa to pay for being an asshole.

Oikawa eats Tsukki's fury up. He screams into the mattress and his back muscles tense. He's trying to match Tsukki's rhythm but the blond is fucking into him so hard that it's difficult.

“It's completely beyond me what Iwaizumi-san sees in a fucking brat like you,” Tsukki admits between thrusts as he fucks harder into Oikawa. He holds the brunette’s hips hard enough that he’s sure to have bruises tomorrow.

“I-Iwa-?!” Oikawa breathes, stunned even through how vicious Tsukki is being with him. And then as if forming that name on his lips in this condition was all it took, he's coming hard onto the mattress with ragged shouts and moans.

Tsukki lets go of Oikawa’s hair so that he can take hold of his hips, digging his fingers in while he fucks into Oikawa as hard as he possibly can. It doesn’t take him long to come, and he fucks Oikawa through his orgasm, until he’s wincing from oversensitivity. He pulls out, ignoring Oikawa’s indignant noise, and discards the condom.

His usual exhaustion after orgasm is starting to creep in, but there’s no way in hell he’s spending the night _here_.

Oikawa collapses on the bed and rolls over, sprawled out and looking well-fucked and _pretty._ His chest heaves lightly and he can’t seem to help the upward curve at the corner of his lips. Yet his eyes hold some real emotion Tsukki can’t quite place.

“Go tell Kuroo what you did,” Oikawa whispers, voice low.

Tsukki shudders, but doesn’t look at Oikawa again while he grabs his clothes. His shirt is completely ruined and he scowls at Oikawa. Still, he slips it on, buttoning the few buttons he still has, and hopes that no one will see him on the walk home. He didn’t have plans with Kuroo, and he’s certainly not going to go blab about this to him...at least not before he tells Yamaguchi. He gut twists guiltily as he finishes getting dressed and checks for his wallet and keys.

“Well, that wasn’t a colossal waste of time,” he says, but his voice doesn’t carry enough to come off as anything but tired.

“Not _colossal_ anyways,” Oikawa says, rising to put on boxers and a shirt. “Can you see yourself out?”

“Yeah,” Tsukki says, already walking out the bedroom door. He puts on his shoes and leaves, heading for home with dread in his bones.

 

Tsukki crosses his arms over his chest and marches home, keeping his eyes glued to the ground. The time passes in a blur, but it feels like years before he finally gets to his door. His fingers shake as he tries to unlock the door. The sound of his key’s jingle bounce off the walls, making him wince.

When he finally gets the door open, he hears the TV and immediately turns into the kitchen so that Tadashi can't see his ruined shirt. He braces himself against the counter, forcing deep breaths into his lungs.

“Welcome home,” Yamaguchi calls out. He's sitting in the living room, writing in a notebook and ignoring whatever’s on the TV. “How was your night?”

“Fine,” Tsukki croaks. He grabs a glass and gets some water, drinking it fast before saying, “fine, it was fine,” his voice is almost normal.

“Come sit with me?” Yamaguchi calls out to the kitchen.

Tsukki wants to, he want to go and curl up in Yamaguchi’s arms; he wants to let his friend shush and soothe him, but, after what he just _did._

“I-” his eyes burn and he takes a breath, swallowing hard against the lump in his throat. _What kind of friend am I_? He asks himself, staring straight ahead. _First he doesn’t feel like he can be open and now this._

“I might go to bed,” Tsukki forces out after he feels more collected, “I had a l-long day.”

“You had a long day and aren't curling up to me?” Yamaguchi says, a little incredulous. “What happened?”

“I slept with Oikawa,” Tsukki whispers, his voice straining. His vision starts to swim and he can feel himself shaking.

Yamaguchi tries, he really does, to have a straight face. His jaw tightens and his eyebrows shoot up.

“Oh!” He says, and after a pause continues, “So….how was it?”

Tsukki flinches at the forced nonchalance, his body slumping forward and his arms locking so that he doesn’t fall. He doesn’t dare look at his best friend.

“It - it was awful,” he admits, his voice finally cracking under pressure. He can feel tears on the back of his hand and his breath getting faster. Saying it out loud to Yamaguchi makes it real, makes the things Oikawa said to him real and all the more hurtful.

Yamaguchi, alarmed, gets up and goes to Tsukki in the kitchen. He softens when he sees how upset he is.

“Kei, please be honest with me,” Yamaguchi says evenly, but with concern around the edges, “did he….yknow….do things you didn't _want_?” he swallows hard, “that you didn't… consent to?”

“No no,” Tsukki sobs, unable to stop as he tries to suck in shallow breaths, “I-I started it I-I I’m sorry, Tadashi.” How could he have done this? Oikawa was right, he has no self control.

“Okay, but you can start it and someone can still...” Yamaguchi trails off. He shakes his head a little before saying, “wait, why are you apologizing?”

It takes Tsukki a minute to gather himself enough to speak clearly, his knuckles white where they grip the counter.

“Bec- you you could-n’t _tell me_ ,” he says, he voice tight and harsh against the back of his throat. “An-and then I went and-and-”

“And had sex with a guy I used to bang?” Yamaguchi rests a hand on the counter, next to Tsukki’s, close but not touching, “I’m not upset. It's not like we were very emotionally close. If he did something to hurt you, that you didn't want, I'll _run him through_. But otherwise I don't see a reason for you to apologize.”

Tsukki flinches away from Yamaguchi’s hand, even though he craves the touch. Yamaguchi’s familiar touch is always a comfort, but right now he doesn't deserve it.

“No you-” Oikawa’s words come back to him, _pathetic_ and _fragile_ , ringing in his mind and causing get him to choke on a sob, “I don't-you deal with all o-of my shit an-and I'm sorry I-” he dares to glance over at Yamaguchi's face, his heart twisting with guilt and self disgust because he's in the wrong, this is his fault and Yamaguchi is just there, face concerned, offering comfort. “I don't - deserve you,” he breathes. The fear that Yamaguchi is one day going to tire of him, leave him for someone who can support him, washes over him and he feels his throat close, like he's drowning.

“Kei, comfort isn't something you earn or have to deserve,” Yamaguchi says. “I _want_ to support you, I'm just a little confused. If I'm not upset, why are you?”

_Because I'm a terrible friend!_ He wants to shout. _Because I'm too fucking_ fragile _and you shouldn't have to walk around on eggshells with me._

“Be-cause- Tadashi you-you couldn't _tell me_ ,” he says again, staring back at the counter, “beca-use I’m n-never there for you.”

“What? Kei, no… can I touch you?” Tsukki just barely nods, so Yamaguchi snakes his arms around his waist. “We just don't talk about that, that's okay! You're different now. Please don't feel bad. I love you.”

Tsukki can’t help but lean towards Yamaguchi’s touch, crying harder. He hates that this is happening.

“I-I’m sorry,” he sobs, turning so that he can wrap his arms around Yamaguchi’s shoulders and bury his head in his shoulder. He can’t stop crying, Oikawa’s words playing on a loop with Yamaguchi’s apprehensive expression from the night before.

“I think we should be quiet together so you can calm down,” Yamaguchi suggests gently. Then he takes on a teasing, silly tone to disarm his partner, “and then we should compare notes.”

Tsukki’s laugh is weak, but he nods into Yamaguchi’s shoulder. It takes him another minute to let go, but even then he only steps back a little; now that he’s allowed himself contact, he’s not sure if he can give it up. Yamaguchi stays close, keeping one hand on Tsukki’s hip and bringing the other up to wipe some of the tears from his cheeks. The taller man hiccups and looks dismayed at the sound.

“Where do you want to be?” Yamaguchi asks, keeping his voice calm and level.

“Y-you’re ro-om,” Tsukki says automatically. It’s not just that Yamaguchi’s bed is slightly bigger, but he wants to be surrounded by him.

They migrate and Yamaguchi sits on the bed with his back to the headboard, beckoning Tsukki to lay with his head in his lap.

Tsukki settles, pulling at the blankets until he's mostly covered, head resting on Yamaguchi's thighs. He wipes at his face, already considerably calmer in Yamaguchi's space.

“I love you too,” he whispers, fresh tears coming. His chest feels tight, like he might break at any moment. _Fragile_.

Tsukki isn't sure how long they stay like that, but he turns Yamaguchi's words over in his head until he can't help but ask:

“How do you do it? Sleep with - just anyone.”

Yamaguchi takes some time to form an answer.

“Well it's not _just anyone,_ for starters,” Yamaguchi finally says. “I don't know how to explain it. I see someone I want and I know immediately. It's a fun thing to share with someone, even if I don't know them well.”

Tsukki nods slowly, not really sure how to respond. Even with Kuroo in the very beginning, he - he was interested, enough at least, but, that was after months of knowing him and being able to read him well enough to form some trust.

“I can’t do that,” he admits, staring at the damp spot his tears have made on Yamaguchi’s thigh. “Which is weird, but, I don’t even find people - that attractive I guess?”

Yamaguchi runs his fingers through Tsukki’s hair.

“That's fine. Maybe this experience opened your eyes about yourself,” he muses. “maybe you wouldn't have figured this out without Too- Oikawa.”

Tsukki catches Yamaguchi’s correction and feels a pang in his chest. _They weren’t emotionally close_ , he reminds himself stubbornly.

“I already knew, about not being attracted to most people. I’m definitely not attracted to Oikawa, I was- I was just angry and it seemed,” he sighs, “I don’t know, like the right thing? The only thing, I guess, when it came up.” He pauses, taking a deep breath as the memory of his fingers wrapped around Oikawa’s throat, of Oikawa’s words, starts to play in his head.

“Usually hate sex is when you hate someone you're attracted to and that tension compounds on itself and snaps...” Yamaguchi offers, a little confused but also thinking about _his_ times with Oikawa. “but you just… hate him? And didn't want him at _all_?”

“Yeah,” Tsukki admits. Sure, he can appreciate that Oikawa is objectively attractive, but, his attitude makes Tsukki’s blood boil. “More than anything, I wanted to wipe the smirk off his face.” he thinks back to Oikawa’s expression as Tsukki squeezed harder on his neck. The physical sensations had been...fine, but, he can’t help but shudder at the thought of ever doing it again.

“The sex was good enough, but,” Tsukki shifts so that he can look at Yamaguchi before closing his eyes with a shaky sigh, “it still felt awful if I let myself think about what I was doing.”

“I also wanted to wipe the smirk off of his face,” Yamaguchi says cautiously, “I think we both hate-fucked Oikawa Tooru.”

“I guess we’re both allowed some bad choices in life,” Tsukki says with a weak laugh. He doesn’t let himself think about Yamaguchi and Oikawa together; he doesn’t need to go down that path. Instead he thinks of how shocked Oikawa must have been; people don’t expect Yamaguchi to be vicious, but Tsukki has seen that side of him and knows just how much he can use words as his weapons.

“It wasn't a bad choice for me,” Yamaguchi says with a small chuckle, “I didn’t just do it once, after all. It was like a drag-down _fight_ the first time, and then repeated battles. Even when we both began to appreciate each other, we still did it rough. That takes a special chemistry, you know?”

“Not really,” Tsukki says, “but then, we don't respect each other, or trust each other,” he points out. He’s not even sure what he and Kuroo have done together counts as _rough_ , especially now that he knows what Kuroo likes with Oikawa, much less if Tsukki has the chemistry to have that kind of relationship.

“You trust him now more than I did then,” Yamaguchi counters, “he's close with Kuroo. If for no other reason, he wouldn't let anything happen to you or he'd face destroying what he and Kuroo have.”

He pauses and seems to space out a little.

“He's not a bad person,” Yamaguchi whispers, “he defends himself with charisma and confidence, is all. He knows what's important...what _really_ matters, and he sticks to it through everything. He and Kuroo have this in common.”

Tsukki watches his friend closely while he describes Oikawa. _That's not what emotionally distant looks like_ , he thinks.

“Do you love him?” He asks, his voice soft. He can handle Yamaguchi loving someone like Oikawa, he can be supportive.

“...no,” Yamaguchi says slowly, after some thought. “Not love. I do feel something for him. Tenderness, maybe... but not love,”

The expression on his face is serious for a moment, but then melts into cheer and charm.

“Anyway, he’s got it so bad for Iwaizumi, there’s no chance for it to turn into more. Why?”

Tsukki feels his insides clench, his angry words to Oikawa coming back to him. I _don't know what Iwaizumi-san sees in you._

“It would just...it would be okay, if you did,” Tsukki mumbles, “I could get over myself.” He would do anything to make the other man happy...as long as Oikawa treated him well, “I just want you to be happy, Tadashi.”

“What’s this about, Kei? You sound like you have something else on your mind.”

It takes Yamaguchi asking for Tsukki to realize what's really scaring him. He thinks over actually saying it, confessing this stupid, needy, terrible fear.

“I'm so afraid….” He starts, fresh tears burning his eyes, “that you're going to find someone...who doesn't hold you back.” Tsukki wraps a hand around one of Yamaguchi’s knees, knuckles white with how hard he’s grabbing his friend.

“It’s selfish and mean,” he says, voice cracking, “but I don’t want you to leave me.”

“Your fears are valid, but it’s not something you have to worry about,” Yamaguchi explains patiently, placing his hand over Tsukki’s. “You aren’t holding me back. I love you, and I intend to stay with you forever, Tsukki. I think if you want to talk about those fears, we should do it when you’re in a better place and not stressed out about something else, okay?”

Tsukki nods, turning his palm up to hold Tadashi’s hand.

“Why do you have to be so great all the time,” he grumbles against Tadashi’s thigh.

“Sorry, Tsukki!” he replies brightly.

 

Kuroo opens the window, letting the bright sunshine and fresh air into his apartment. Standing at the open window, he inhales deeply.

He’s got some indie music playing loud enough to consume thoughts but not too loud to concern the neighbors. All in all, it’s been a productive day. He’s done all of the laundry, cleaned his entire apartment. He’s wearing his favorite staying-in clothes - a fitted black tank top and jersey knit harem pants. Ordinarily, he’d leave the shirt off but Tsukki will be arriving soon.  As he collapses on the couch in the sunshine, he thinks of how nice it will be to spend time together during the day. After all, they usually they meet at night or after work.

_I could probably have left the shirt off_ , he thinks, and there’s a knock at the door.

Tsukki stands in the doorway, his expression masking his general sense of anxiety. He’s excited to see Kuroo, but he can’t seem to escape Oikawa’s taunts.

_He comes to fuck me when he wants someone capable._ He tries to remind himself that Kuroo is satisfied with him, that he _wants_ Tsukki, as he steps into the apartment.

“You look...nice,” Tsukki says, feeling awkward. He shouldn't be feeling so awkward, this is _Kuroo_ for god’s sake.

Kuroo gives him room to get in and put down his things before approaching Tsukki and embracing him.

“Likewise,” Kuroo says around a smirk. “Can I kiss you?”

It's not fair that Kuroo feels so _good_.

“Please,” Tsukki says simply. He doesn't wait for Kuroo to take the initiative, instead leaning forward and kissing him gently.

Kuroo matches Tsukki’s gentleness, vaguely sensing that Tsukki feels…. vulnerable? But that's okay - soft sex and basking in sunshine makes for a wonderful day to him.

“How was your morning?” Kuroo asks softly, “did you see Yamaguchi?”

“...Yes? Why do you ask?” Tsukki asks, just barely keeping the alarm out of his tone. Did Oikawa say something? Could he have told Kuroo about that night, about what Oikawa had said?

“You look relaxed,” Kuroo whispers tenderly against Tsukki’s neck. “Or relieved of something.”

He slides his hands down Tsukki’s side and ghosts his fingertips under the hem of his shirt.

“Oh,” Tsukki says softly. He takes a deep breath and smirks, shifting his hips forward into Kuroo's fingers.

“Someone's eager,” he says, giving Kuroo a mischievous look. He can tell that Kuroo is being gentle with him, and that would be appealing, if not for Oikawa's taunts running through his head.

“It's a beautiful day, I'm in the arms of a beautiful man…” Kuroo purrs, kissing just behind Tsukki's ear, “is the feeling not mutual?”

Tsukki feels his cheeks get hot when Kuroo calls him beautiful, but he resists the urge to duck his head to hide the color.

“The feeling is definitely mutual,” he murmurs, letting his hands rest on Kuroo’s hips. He presses his fingertips into Kuroo’s flesh, letting their pressure grow slowly. He wants so badly to be fucked until he forgets everything that Oikawa said, but asking for it - exactly what he wants and _why_ , having to explain - makes his skin crawl.

“We should do it here,” he says, instead. Having Kuroo fuck him in the living room, with the window open and the sounds from the street faintly coming in over the music, is definitely pushing Tsukki’s comfort zone, but he should be able to manage. They shouldn’t have to be so restrictive just because Tsukki can’t man up and handle himself.

Kuroo hums in assent and leads Tsukki to the couch, beckoning the blonde into his lap. Tsukki obliges, and Kuroo rolls his hips up gently, biting his lip. The sun is warm on their skin and it feels nice. Kuroo watches his own hands as they run under Tsukki's shirt with confident, lustful touches until they brush over his nipples.

Tsukki lets out a short, audible breath at the touch, resting his hands on Kuroo's shoulders. He's all too aware of the open window and he stifles his moan, instead leaning in to kiss Kuroo, hopefully distracting him in the process. Thankfully, the older man kisses back warmly.

It's not long before he's rocking his hips against Kuroo gently and letting small gasps escape between their mouths.

“Mm, _Tsukki_ ,” Kuroo breathes. He removes the blond’s shirt and claws down his back, then grabs his ass firmly. “Want you…” he leans in and bites and kisses his chest.

Tsukki brings a hand up to his mouth, slightly muffling his moan, though hopefully not enough for Kuroo to notice. He presses his chest forward as he tangles his fingers in Kuroo’s hair. If he doesn’t look to the side, maybe he can forget that the window is open.

“Me too,” he whispers, “want you to fuck me.”

Kuroo pauses, keeping his hands on Tsukki while looking up at him.

“You’ve never been so bold so fast. What’s up?” he asks, concern lacing his otherwise flirty tone.

“What, you have to be the only one that’s eager?” Tsukki asks, just barely keeping his sarcasm back. Why does Kuroo have to be so damn intuitive? He leans down, pressing Kuroo’s shoulders back further into the couch cushions, and kisses him, opening his mouth and moaning quietly while he busies himself with opening the other man’s pants.

Kuroo relaxes back into the plush couch and watches as Tsukki's long, slender fingers work at unfastening his pants. He lifts his hips slightly to allow for Tsukki to remove them, and tilts his head back to expose his throat to the _very sexy_ though suspiciously emboldened man before him.

Tsukki starts working on his own pants, only getting off Kuroo to pull them off. As he settles back in Kuroo’s lap, the warm breeze from the window sends a shudder through him. Trying not to think of _outside_ , he clenches his teeth for a split second before pushing his fingers under Kuroo’s shirt, feeling the warm skin covering strong muscle.

“Look so good like this,” he says as he starts to kiss Kuroo’s neck. Kuroo moans softly, enjoying the attention, before roughly grabbing Tsukki’s hips and shoving him onto his back on the couch. Kuroo grinds his hips down on Tsukki’s cock and then teases his nipple with his tongue, punctuating the shift with a hard suck to the sensitive nub.

Tsukki cries out, unable to hold the sound back. Kuroo just feels so good over him, and the pressure on his cock at the same time - he feels like he can finally start to let go, the pleasure overwhelming the anxiety.

“HEY! Get a fucking room up there!”

Tsukki feels like someone just dumped ice water over him. He turns under Kuroo, at first avoiding the window, but then where else could the voice have come from? He stares over at the window; they’re not on the ground floor, so who the hell could see them from here?

“We have one, asshole!” Kuroo barks as he presses a calming hand on Tsukki’s shoulder, letting him know that he’s covered, but it’s not enough.

“Fuck- no- y-yellow- red, whatever,” Tsukki stammers, pushing Kuroo away, _hard_ , and scrambling off of the couch.

“Kei, wait, they can’t see-”

But he’s gone - he grabs his clothes on the way to the bedroom and slams the door behind him, trying to suck in deep breaths.

Kuroo mutters a quick _fuck_ under his breath, closes the window, and knocks on the door of his own bedroom.

Tsukki paces the room, pulling on his clothes. _Does he hold your hand through everything?_

“Fuck, it’s- I’m okay just- you can come in I'm sorry, I'm okay,” but he’s not okay. He can’t do this. _Already you can’t keep up? Pathetic_ , he thinks, sucking in a shaky breath and holding it for a second before forcing it back out.

Kuroo opens the door and, after making sure his window is closed, sits on the bed next to Tsukki.

“Can I touch you?” Kuroo asks gently.

Tsukki doesn’t miss the fact that Kuroo checks the window, and he presses the heels of his palms into his eyes before nodding.

“This is stupid,” he says, forcing a humorless laugh out of a chest that feels too tight, “I’m okay, I just-” _Are you really that fucking fragile?_

Kuroo swoops a throw blanket around them both and holds Tsukki tight from behind. He rests his head on the blond’s shoulder and reminds him to breathe.

After a few moments, he asks “What's going on?”

How is it that Tsukki managed to find someone so patient? He sighs, letting himself sink back into Kuroo's warmth.

“The window- I thought I could...Oikawa could have, but I can't,” the part about Oikawa spills out of him before he can think better of it, and Tsukki winces when he realizes it.

Kuroos eyes widen and he dips to the side to look at Tsukki.

“...Oikawa? What does he…?”

Tsukki flinches back from Kuroo's look, keeping his gaze on the floor.

“I- we fucked,” he admits quietly, shoulders hunching up, “and - I don't care that you sleep with him…” He trails off, taking deep breath.

Kuroo waits for a moment before prodding, “...is there a but coming?”

“But not because I'm not good enough,” Tsukki whispers.

Kuroo is floored for a moment, imagining what Tooru, his prima donna of a best friend, would do if he got his hands on Tsukki. He then thinks of how very _salty_ and _sharp_ they both are and he needs to calm the heat rising in his cheeks.

“Not good enough for what?” Kuroo asks, genuinely confused, “For...me? For him? Because if it’s for him, I guarantee that-”

“No, no, it’s-” Tsukki growls in frustration, “‘did you not know that Kuroo always comes to me after, to be fucked properly? To bang someone capable?’” he quotes, his voice shaky. He wants to curl up and forget that any of this ever happened, to push it far, far away because he was so stupid that night. “That’s what he said,” Tsukki says quietly.

Kuroo doesn’t say a word. He fishes into his pocket for his phone, taps it twice.

The phone rings loudly - he has it on speaker.

“What- what are you doing?” Tsukki asks. He wouldn’t actually-

“Tetsu-chan~ to what do I owe-”

“Tell him the truth.” Kuroo growls. Tsukki shakes his head quickly, pointing at the phone and mouthing ‘What the hell?’

“Huh?” Oikawa asks on the other line.

“You said some untrue things to Tsukki and i’m making you apologize for them.”

“Tetsu-chan, it was in the moment, not really your business."

"Like hell it isn't."

Tsukki isn’t sure what to do to make this stop. It’s bad enough that Kuroo knows about this, but _Oikawa_? He pulls himself out of Kuroo’s arms and stands, keeping close enough that he can still hear, so that Kuroo knows that the distance isn’t permanent; he has too much nervous energy coursing through him to sit.

"I don't see why-"

"Tooru look. I'm your best friend,” Kuroo pinches the bridge of his nose. “I know the games you like to play and I know how stubborn and salty both of you are. I don’t expect you to understand why it's my business. Explain it to him. Now."

"Salty? I really don't like the way you're talking to me right now,” Oikawa says sharply, “he had chances to call the whole thing off and he didn’t take them. _And_ I asked if he had limits, so if he had a problem with being _humiliated-_ ”

“Tooru, someone I care about very much is hurt and you caused it. _Fix it.”_

_Someone I care about very much_. Kuroo sounds so genuine Tsukki can’t help but duck his head down, little twists of happiness mixing strangely with the embarrassment turning in his chest.

There’s a deep sigh on the other line before Oikawa explains everything. That he searched Tsukki for weaknesses and said anything he needed to get a rise out of him. That if Tsukki had shared his limits he would have respected them completely.  Most shockingly, that he _wanted_ Tsukki.

“He kept up with me that one night at the bar,” Oikawa explains darkly, “and he affects you so deeply, I wanted to know what he could do,” his voice lilts into his usual pompous tone, “why else would I make the bet, which, by the way, I win.”

There’s a moment of silence. Tsukki looks between Kuroo and the phone, not sure what he’s feeling or what to say.

“If either of you tell anyone or mention this ever again, you’re fucked and not in the way I know you like it.” Oikawa spits. “Is there anything _else_ I can clear up for you tonight?”

“Thank you, Tooru.” Kuroo says, voice even.

“We’ll talk about this later, Tetsu- _chan._ ”

_Click._ Kuroo puts his phone on the night stand.

What the hell is Tsukki supposed to say to that?

“What’s he talking about- what bet?”

“He bet me that he could get you into bed with him,” Kuroo sighs, “and I bet that he couldn’t. I’m a little impressed with _you_ right now, actually.”

“What?” Tsukki asks.

Kuroo runs his fingers through his hair and looks at the floor.

“I thought he’d be too abrasive for you, you know, you haven’t even been out for a full year and while you’re _incredible_ with me and Akaashi and Bokuto, Tooru isn’t as clear with his needs, he plays games, and I didn’t think you’d be into that. But you kept up with him, and I know from _personal experience_ how much of a challenge that is. I’m impressed.”

Tsukki scoffs, turning because he honestly can’t think of what else to do. He stares at the wall before turning back to Kuroo, his walls up and his jaw clenched.

“That’s just it- I’m not into _that_ ,” he says sharply, “sure, the sex was- whatever, I got off, but-” he cuts off, not sure how the hell to explain how he feels about that night.

“It wasn’t _good_ for me, not - I didn’t come home that night feeling _satisfied_ or _impressed_ that I managed to keep up, Tetsurou. I-” he turns again, pacing for a minute before whirling on Kuroo again. “I had sex with someone that I trust so little that I didn’t feel safe telling him what my _limits are_ ,” he spits.

“You had to have known he was safe, at least,” Kuroo suggests, “I mean, you trust me and I trust him. Right?”

“Yeah, I trust you, and for some reason you and Yamaguchi see redeeming qualities in him, but that doesn’t change the fact that I was angry and wanted to put him in his place.” Tsukki snaps.

He takes another step back and crosses his arms across his chest. Kuroo’s eyes remain fixed on him, focused, and he takes it as a cue to continue.

“It doesn’t change the fact that when he said ‘pause’ and made sure that if I choked him he would be okay, I asked why he was being decent. It doesn’t change the fact that when he asked me, point blank, if I had any limits, I felt like if I was honest he would use them against me. My trust in you doesn’t mean that I trust _him_ , it means that I trust that he _probably_ wouldn’t do anything to me because of what you would do.”

Kuroo takes a deep breath and lets it go, giving Tsukki a chance to finish if he had more thoughts. He feels a pang in his chest where his platonic love for Tooru sits, and a burn in his stomach for his fondness of Tsukki.

“And when _we_ met all you came off as a total closet case and an apathetic dick to everyone you met,” Kuroo says smoothly, “but I could see that it was just because you’re guarded and afraid - you use your intelligence as a weapon.” he cocks his head to the side and his tone becomes sweet. “I know you’d hate to admit it, but I think you know who else that sounds like.”

Tsukki deflates; there’s a part of him that knows Kuroo is right, Kuroo always seems to be right, which is frustrating, but that’s not his point.

“No- look, you don’t understand,” he sighs, “maybe we should just not do-”

“I don’t understand,” Kuroo admits, “please, make me understand this!”

“The point isn’t that Oikawa and I are similar,” Tsukki says desperately, “the point is, I’ve never left you, or Akaashi and Bokuto, _regretting_ what I had done!” Tsukki runs his hands through his hair roughly. “Just when this all starts to feel good, and manageable and _okay_ \- something always happens that makes everything complicated again!” Tsukki walks over to the bed and slumps down.

“I just- I want to be able to have a normal sex life,” Tsukki says warily, pressing his face into his hands.

Kuroo moves closer to Tsukki sporting a good-natured smile.

“Kei, you _are_ having a normal sex life!” he says confidently. “Well, okay, most people don’t have so many partners at once and if they do it’s not _at once_ , but everyone who has sex goes home with someone thinking ‘eh, why not’ at some point because there’s a chance at it being _really_ good. But half the time it’s not, and you’d probably have been happier at home alone watching tv or something. It happens!”

“Yeah, and I’m sure everyone can’t handle having sex with a window open too,” Tsukki mumbles without any heat. He sighs, slumping back on the bed, all the anger and embarrassment leaving him resigned, “all this progress and I’m still a wreck,” he adds, giving Kuroo a forced, sarcastic, smile.

“How else do you know your limits if you don’t cross them?” Kuroo asks, backing down a little instead of pushing back against Tsukki’s sharp edges. “You know who else doesn’t do exhibitionism? Akaashi. Do you think he’s a wreck?”

Tsukki rolls his eyes but doesn’t fight Kuroo on it, instead he says, “An open window is hardly exhibition, Tetsurou,” as he curls on his side to face the other man. “Besides, it’s easy to rationalize when you don’t have any limits,” he says, seemingly determined to be pessimistic.

“An open window would qualify as exhibition for Akaashi, _Kei._ He has certain rooms in the house soundproofed so he can let go and feel comfortable and safe,” Kuroo returns, “and it’s not fair for you to assume I don’t have limits just because I’ve never listed them off to you.”

“Wait, you actually do?” Tsukki asks as he props himself up on one elbow so that he can see Kuroo’s face better.

“Off the top of my head: I don’t have sex drunk or on drugs, I won’t let my partner do something they don’t want just to please me, it fucks me up for someone to leave my apartment upset, I require protection with new people, and that’s not even getting into my kink limits,” Kuroo’s brow furrows a little, “I don’t get triggered as hard as you do, but I _have_ limits.”

“Oh,” Tsukki says quietly, “thank you...for telling me,” he adds after a moment. He’d always just thought Kuroo was up for anything, but now that he thinks about it, the other man had always stressed that he wanted Tsukki to be into his ideas.

“You never told me- I guess I just thought it was me,” he admits, reaching out, his fingers barely brushing the other man’s skin.

“Well, it’s not,” Kuroo explains, trying to decompress and enjoy Kei’s touch. “I guess I never needed to explicitly tell you because I’m usually in control. I just make it happen.”

“You can't just do that,” Tsukki says simply, “communication goes both ways, Tetsurou.” He lets his fingers trail against Kuroo's arm.

Kuroo sighs almost imperceptibly. “I _do_ communicate, just not always with words. You’ve never complained about me being in control before…” he says, a little bit of flirtation peeking through the words, but he doesn’t return Tsukki’s touch.

“I like it when you lose some control,” Tsukki adds, shifting closer, “when you lose yourself because of me, because of something I did.”

“I give it up because I _need to see that you’re into it._ ” Kuroo says, as if it’s the most obvious thing.

Tsukki sits up and uses his momentum to push Kuroo back, caging over him and searching his face.

“I don't want you to give up control because you need me to show you I'm into sex. If I'm not being clear, then _ask me_. I want you to give up control because I feel too good,” Tsukki says, his eyes stubborn, daring Kuroo to fight him on this, “you don't have to tell me every move you're going to make or why, but if it's important, _don't leave me guessing and trying to figure out what I did wrong_.”

Kuroo runs his fingers up Tsukki’s biceps. “You’re assuming you do things wrong all the time,” he murmurs. “You don’t. Sometimes you slip with communicating, and I do call you out, but otherwise…”

Kuroo finds his line of sight resting at Tsukki’s mouth.

“Okay, good,” Tsukki says, smirking a little now that the awkward tension seems to finally be leaving the room. “...See something you like?” He asks.

“Mmm...also, something about you feeling so good that I give up control…” Kuroo whispers, voice dipping low. He slides his hands down Tsukki’s sides, “...sounds nice…”

Tsukki shivers at the touch, leaning down to just barely brush his lips against Kuroo's, who moans so softly at how tender it is.

“That _does_ sound nice,” he breathes.

“What are you waiting for?” Kuroo asks with a smirk. He props himself up slightly so that his lips are only a few centimeters from Tsukki’s, “ _Take me, Kei~”_

Tsukki can't help but roll his eyes as he leans back to give himself enough room to take off his shirt. He throws it somewhere behind him without looking and quickly returns to his position over Kuroo.

“I still want you to fuck me,” he says, nipping at Kuroo's bottom lip, “maybe I could ride you?”

Kuroo gasps softly and pulls Kei down into a slow, deep kiss. “Maybe you could?” he teases. His hands roam Kei’s chest freely once more, settling down at his hips.

Tsukki gasps into the kiss and he rolls his eyes rather than answer Kuroo’s taunt right away. Instead, he threads his fingers through Kuroo’s hair and kisses him again, rocking his hips down slowly. “Maybe I will,” he says against Kuroo’s lips as he scratches his nails against his scalp gently.

Kuroo moans, and the sound resonates through his chest as he arches up into Tsukki, “maybe you should…”  
  
The blond pushes back until he can stand, fumbling with his pant’s zipper with over eager fingers.

“You should take off your pants,” he says, growling when his zipper gets caught on his boxers.

Kuroo complies, taking his time and leaving his boxers on. His hand cards through Tsukki's hair once the blond is back over him and he meets his eyes with lust and...something else.

Tsukki meets his gaze and it stops him short. “What?” He asks.

“Hm? Nothing. I want you.”

At Tsukki's incredulous stare, Kuroo continues, “and I like when you talk to me about stuff.”

Tsukki can't stop his small smile and he kisses Kuroo. The kiss quickly turns hot and he pulls back, gasping a little.

“I...like talking to you about stuff,” he admits, a little breathless, “you make me feel...safe.”

Kuroo grinds his hips in small circles and caresses Tsukki's hips again.

“I love your bedroom talk, Kei,” he whispers, perfectly serious. Tsukki flushes, his ears getting hot, and he kisses Kuroo again, if only to keep him from saying something else so embarrassing.

It doesn't take long for Tsukki to reach with one hand to tease at the waistband of Kuroo's boxers, his hips moving against Kuroo's torturously slow.

“Please…” Kuroo moans. He traces his fingertips up Tsukki's chest and brushes them over his pert nipples. Then he sits up and traces the same small strokes with his tongue.

“Ooh, fuck,” Tsukki hisses, his hips jerking forward. “Want you- keep doing that when I'm-” he cuts off to moan, his fingers scratching lightly at Kuroo's hip. “Lube- g-gloves,” he gasps.

“Oho?” Kuroo sucks Tsukki's nipple, punctuated with a flick of his tongue, “what do you need those for?”

He looks up at Tsukki with a challenging, flirty smirk but his eyes are dark with arousal.

Tsukki whines and pushes Kuroo back, capturing his lips in a biting, bruising kiss. His hand by Kuroo's hips scratches up his abdomen and to his chest, making the older man arch into the touch with shuddered breaths.

“You don't want me to ride you?” Tsukki asks, his tone sticky sweet, “you don't want me to edge myself on your c-cock? Until I'm begging to come?”

“W-want you to-” Kuroo’s eyes widen and his breath leaves his chest. The thought of Tsukki edging himself on his cock, using him and pleasing him, makes a flush bleed down Kuroo’s chest. “Th-the sex stuff is in the nightstand where it always is, I-”

Tsukki gives the older man a triumphant, if somewhat shaky, smile and he climbs off the bed. “Move up some,” he says as he goes to the nightstand, pulling out gloves, lube and a condom.

He hears Kuroo shuffling on the mattress, and by the time he’s turned back around, Kuroo is laying back, giving him such a _Kuroo Tetsurou_ _look_ that he can’t help but smile. Tsukki comes back over to the bed and crawls over to Kuroo, settling between his legs and putting on a glove.

“Mmm, I've always loved the sight of you between my legs,” Kuroo says, laying on the charm and flirtation _thick._ He lecherously looks Tsukki up and down, and when he speaks next his tone is softer. “this time, if you want, you can do things without asking. As long as we’ve done it or something similar before. If you think of something new you can run it by me right away. What do you think?”

“Ah, okay,” Tsukki says after a moment of thought.

Without so much as a blink, Tsukki spreads lube on to his fingers and leans so that he can swallow down Kuroo’s cock.

“Oh, _fuck!”_ Kuroo gasps, and then keens from how very _deep_ Kei took it so fast. “Fuck, _fuck!”_

Tsukki moans as he starts to press a finger into his own hole, working his tongue up Kuroo’s cock as he pulls off. He mouths at the head, then down the shaft, his moans getting more forceful as he starts to really work himself open.

Kuroo is pleasured into breathy silence, reduced to gasps and soft whines as he forces himself to watch Tsukki. His hands fist helplessly into the sheets, opening and closing against the fabric like he can’t even process what to _do_ with them.

It doesn’t take long for Tsukki to start getting impatient, and he pulls back, clenching his teeth has he presses a second finger into himself. The burn is familiar at this point and he presses kisses and bites into Kuroo’s hips, his adonis belt and his thighs, purposefully avoiding his cock. Kuroo’s hips shift and he almost grunts with frustration.

“Sound so good for me, Tetsurou,” Tsukki moans before nursing a previous bite on Kuroo’s hip, “c-can’t wait to...have you inside me.”

“F-fuck, Kei, how-” Kuroo stammers, letting his head fall back and his voice devolve into a frustrated whine. His hips tilt up to Tsukki’s mouth, his abs flexing with the effort. It’s easy to give up control, he thinks, when Tsukki is being so forward. “Please, I need you, n-need to be in you...”

“Ye-yeah, soon,” Tsukki gasps, working his fingers just a little bit more; he wants to feel some stretch, but rushing is never a good idea. Seeing Kuroo so wild though, it sends a shockwave through Tsukki.

“Fuck it,” he mumbles, sitting back on his knees and taking his fingers out. He’s painfully hard as he rips the glove off his hand and tosses it in the trash, desperately opens the condom and rolls it onto Kuroo with hands that shake, and moves to straddle Kuroo’s hips, lining himself up with his cock.

“I want to grab your _fucking_ hips and slam you down right now,” Kuro forces out, eyes wide and pupils blown, repeating to himself _let Tsukki have control let Tsukki have control let him do it let him have it…_

“I like this- this look on you,” Tsukki gasps before he lets out a breathless laugh and slowly, so slowly, lowers himself onto Kuroo’s cock. The stretch is- ”i-incrediblehurtssosogood” -overwhelming and he has to pause, letting himself adjust as well as curse himself for rushing. He puts his hands on Kuroo’s chest and his nails make crescent moons in the hard muscles of Kuroo’s pecs.

Every inch of Kuroos being is screaming fuck _yes_ , resisting the urge to thrust up into Tsukki's tight heat. His hands rest on Tsukki's hips and grip tight.

“It's… take your - nngh! Take your t-time…”

Tsukki forces himself to take deep breaths, slowly easing himself down on Kuroo’s cock. He doesn't try to hold back his noises, small moans and gasps. The stretch finally starts to ease and he lowers himself until Kuroo is fully inside of him.

“F-fuck, fuckfuckfuck,” he gasps.

“I want to fuck into you so bad, Kei…” Kuroo husks, brows furrowed and he's visibly resisting doing just that. He twitches his cock on purpose inside Tsukki.

“ _Oh,”_ Tsukki whines, hanging his hand, “that’s- that’s fighting dirty,” he says, giving Kuroo a dark look. He slowly rises, his legs shaking, before working himself back down. He has to be careful, or he's going to come just like this.

Kuroo sits up, grabs Tsukki by the back of his neck, and brings their mouths together in a rough kiss.

“I could show you fighting dirty,” he growls as his hips make tiny circles.

Tsukki moans into the kiss, working his hips in time with Kuroo. He uses his weight to push the other man down and starts fucking himself, using shallow movements to start working himself up.

“You could,” he pants, “but you're not in charge right now.”

Kuroo moans roughly, his hips twitching up into Tsukki, involuntarily this time.  His mouth is open, gasping softly watching Tsukki’s hips work. “Yeah, babe, just like that…”

Tsukki moans, long and rough, as he starts to fuck himself harder on Kuroo’s cock. “S-so good,” he gasps. It doesn’t take him long before he’s nearly pulling himself off Kuroo’s cock before slamming back down; there’s sweat on his hairline and he’s breathing hard between moans and gasps.

Kuroo’s hand finds its way to Tsukki’s bouncing, dripping cock and strokes it in time with Tsukki’s rhythm. Tsukki screams, the friction on his cock too good after so long without anything. He sinks down and grabs Kuroo’s wrist, stopping him.

“Can-can’t-” he chokes, “want to edge myself, but- I’ll come if you keep going.”

And just like that, the hand comes off of Tsukki’s cock with a devilish grin from Kuroo, despite the sheen of sweat on his forehead and heavy, aroused gaze. Tsukki whines, his own hand replacing Kuroo’s, except his white knuckled grip takes him back from the edge. It takes him a few moments to come down enough that he can start to move, and he whimpers as he takes his hand away, replacing it on Kuroo’s shoulders for support.

“F-fuck,” he pants, quickly working himself up to fucking himself hard and fast, hitting his prostate on almost every stroke. He thinks he might be screaming, but he’s too blissed out to know for sure.

Kuroo knows for sure, and Tsukki is _certainly_ screaming, and it’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen. The speed at which Tsukki is fucking himself is geared entirely towards the blond’s pleasure - it’s as if he’s completely forgotten that Kuroo can feel it at all. But he _can_ , and it's becoming too much.

“D-do it again…” he grits, trying to keep his orgasm at bay as well. His hands come up to caress Tsukki’s thighs. “S-soo good, Kei, so s-sexy...”

The sound the blond makes is pathetic as he slows; he was so so _close_. His hands grip at Kuroo’s shoulders as he breathes, small keens working their way out of his throat.

“P-please, please, Tetsu-” he whines, his hips moving in small circles on their own. Kuroo calling him sexy is almost too much. His elbows buckle and he narrowly avoids crashing his nose into Kuroo’s forehead. “please fuck me -  fuck me raw…”

Kuroo stills for a moment.

“Do you mean really hard, or -”

“Want- I want you to come,” he wheezes, “ _in me,_ ”

“Y-you-?” Kuroo feels frozen, as if all of the blood drained from his head and went _straight to his cock._ He forces some of that into his hands and pulls Tsukki into a desperate kiss, during which he moans “ _yes_.”

Tsukki pulls off completely, almost sobbing at the loss, at the empty feeling inside of him and begs Kuroo to hurry as the other man takes off the condom. Kuroo somehow manages to get more lube on his cock and then wastes no time in easing himself back down.

“Feel so good-so good,” he says, leaning forward so that he can kiss Kuroo as he fucks him, but Kuroos mouth is busy damn near crying out in pleasure. He can count on one hand the amount of times he's had sex without a condom and it's _impossibly hot_.

Kissing, the angle isn’t quite as good, which is a blessing - he won’t get to the edge as quickly - and a curse. “Want you- to clean me- after, please.”

Kuroo gasps like he just learned how to breathe.

“Can't -  the dirty talk, Kei, I'll come….”

“Yes, yes, please - want it so bad,” Tsukki pants as he sits fully on Kuroo’s hips and grinds against him, clenching around the older man, making him shout. “Fill me up, fuck, please.”

Kuroo grits his teeth and pulls Kei close, wrapping his arms around his torso to hold him still, and _fucks_ him, rough and hard and fast and desperate. Grunts and moans and gasp and _praise_ falls from his mouth, broken chants of “so perfect” “so good you feel so good” “Kei how are you this sexy” “what the fuck” and finally-

“‘m so close, so, close, I'm gonna,  Kei, I-!”

Kuroo pulls Kei down, burying his cock as he comes, body convulsing and cock pulsing as he fills the blond with the thick, hot fluid.

Tsukki bites Kuroo’s shoulder, screaming against him. He comes between them, his entire body tensing and overflowing with pleasure. How can this feel so good? He can hear himself, the guttural sounds ripping out of his throat, and he distantly hopes the Kuroo isn’t out of tea and honey.

“So good- fuckfuckshit, too good Tetsurou,” he cries into Kuroo’s neck, his hips twitching despite Kuroo’s grip.

Kuroo arches back in a way that should be illegal when he feels Tsukki's ass clench around him in orgasm. Then, in the greatest act of stamina he will ever achieve, he pulls out of Tsukki, puts him on his back, pushes his thighs apart and up, and begins to lap and _suck_ his own come out of his partner.

“Oh, oh, _FUCK_ ,” Tsukki shouts, writhing under Kuroo desperately. It’s almost too much for him to bear; it feels so good but so intense. He feels tears on his lashes, and he can’t even be embarrassed because he thinks Kuroo could bring tears to any man’s eyes. “Fuck y-your _mouth_ ,” he moans, his voice raspy from the abuse he’s put on his throat.

Kuroo’s response comes in the form of thrusting his tongue in and out of Tsukki's sensitive hole. His fingers _dig_ into Tsukki’s thighs, grasping and clawing and making sure they stay spread and close to him at the same time. He continues alternating lapping, sucking, and fucking as he rocks Tsukki’s hips into his mouth.

Tsukki buries his hands in Kuroo’s hair, grabbing and pulling, without really meaning to, desperately. The blond is constant noise as he works his hips against Kuroo’s face, begging for more, saying it’s too much, please don’t stop. Sparks shock all over him as he finishes riding out his orgasm, and then Kuroo’s ministrations really become too much.

“S-stop, too much- _hurts_ ,” Tsukki whines, his voice rough and faint.

Kuroo pulls off, kissing up Tsukki's thighs. He detours briefly to the bathroom to rinse out his mouth, and returns with a warm washcloth. He lays with his body pressed to Tsukki's side and opens his legs to gently run the washcloth over his thighs, over his sensitive cock and ass.

“Such a gentleman,” Tsukki rasps with a orgasm-dumb smile.

He kisses Tsukki's cheek, his temple, his jaw.

“Thank you.”

“Y’ always thank me,” Tsukki says, “ _than’ you_.” he can feel himself drifting, but before he’s completely hopeless, he grabs the blanket and pulls it over himself. “You can ‘pen the blinds,” he offers, now that he’s covered. It’s a lovely day out, early enough that a nap in the sunshine sounds great.

Kuroo smiles fondly, kisses Tsukki softly, and gets up to open the blinds. The warm late afternoon sun beams in and Kuroo almost blushes with how heavenly Tsukki looks. He shakes it off and climbs back into bed, and pulls the blond into his arms.

Tsukki mumbles something intelligible and shifts closer to Kuroo. Within seconds he’s soundly asleep.

Kuroo hums softly, gently kisses Tsukki's slack lips, and falls asleep himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments are everything, we love them so much, we screenshot them and put them in group chat, it's wonderful. You're wonderful. Gosh. ///////////
> 
> sydmickey doesn't have a tumblr, but he11ebore does so you can shout at her/us here: he11ebore.tumblr.com


	8. April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey there,” Kuroo says as he approaches the entryway, “how was yo-”
> 
> Seeing Kuroo is like breathing new air. Before Kuroo can even finish his question, Tsukki is on him, kissing him desperately. The blond pushes Kuroo back, back, until the older man is pressed against the nearest wall, still kissing him. It’s uncoordinated, hot, needy, and Tsukki feels something that’s been clenching in his chest all week loosen.

Tsukki sighs as he steps off the train and starts to make his way home. He doesn’t really feel like taking a taxi. The air is cool, but not unpleasant, and his bag isn’t very heavy. 

Going home to visit family is always...tricky. He loves his mother and his brother, but, every time it’s the same thing.

“ _ When are you going to bring home a nice girl for me to meet, Kei?” _

He can’t  _ really _ be upset when his mother asks him that, seen as how he’s not out to his family. She only does it because she cares; she wants to see her youngest son happy. Tsukki has a feeling that it would take some time for her to adjust to the idea that his version of happy is being in an intimate, non-romantic relationship with a man. With two men, if he counts Yamaguchi.

“Oh, shit,” Tsukki breathes. He’d been looking forward to seeing Yamaguchi all day, but, his life partner is out of town for a wedding until tomorrow. Tsukki stops in the middle of the sidewalk, trying to decide if he wants to go home to an empty apartment or…

The blond takes out his phone and opens up a new message.

**Tsukki:** Would you mind if I came over?

Tsukki deposits his phone back in his pocket and starts walking again. Despite his best efforts not to think about his family and their questions about his life plans, his brother’s voice rings in his mind.

_ “I know that you’re not just busy with work, Tsukki. Don’t you think it’s time to find someone and settle down?” _ Again, Tsukki isn’t out to Akiteru, but, but what if he doesn’t  _ want _ to “settle down”? 

His phone buzzing is a welcome relief.

**Kuroo:** Yeah, that’s fine. Door’s unlocked

Tsukki lets out a sigh and starts to walk faster. He passes his apartment building and heads for Kuroo’s, eager to feel comfortable and accepted, although he wouldn’t be saying that out loud.

The rest of the walk to Kuroo’s apartment passes in a blur. After Kuroo buzzes Tsukki in, the blond knocks once and then barges into the apartment. He tosses his bag by the door and heaves a sigh.

“Hey there,” Kuroo says as he approaches the entryway, “how was yo-”

Seeing Kuroo is like breathing new air. Before Kuroo can even finish his question, Tsukki is on him, kissing him desperately. The blond pushes Kuroo back, back, until the older man is pressed against the nearest wall, still kissing him. It’s uncoordinated, hot,  _ needy _ , and Tsukki feels something that’s been clenching in his chest all week loosen.

Kuroo is stunned, fixed to the wall permanently, unable to do anything but kiss Tsukki back. His confusion almost outweighs the  _ delight _ that blooms in him at Tsukki’s forward expression, so the kisses are willing but cautious, receiving Tsukki’s desire. 

Finally Tsukki pulls back, breathing heavily and staring into Kuroo’s eyes.

“I like you,” he gasps, his hands touching Kuroo's sides, his hips, everywhere they can reach, “probably too much, but-”

“ _ Probably too much?!” _

“-But I like what we do. I like watching dumb movies with you,” he pauses to give Kuroo more frenzied kisses, “I like having sex with you, I like when we hang out and  _ don't have sex _ ,” Tsukki pulls himself away, gasping for breath. “I  _ do not _ want to date you,” he says. “I don't want to meet you family, or settle down or-or get married and have kids just because my nephew wants a cousin.” 

Tsukki growls a little and starts to pull Kuroo's shirt up. He know he's trying to make a point, but, Kuroo's neck just looks too damn inviting. He gives the tan flesh attention, earning a low whine from the older man, before remembering himself.

“And I know that  _ you _ know this, but,” he sighs, pressing another hungry kiss to Kuroo's lips, “but if I hear my mother ask when I'm going to bring a nice girl home one more time, I will put my  _ fist _ through a fucking  _ wall _ .”

“Maybe you should go home more often,” Kuroo blurts, stupid from the whirlwind of makeouts. Tsukki rolls his eyes and doesn’t dignify Kuroo with an answer, instead choosing to pull at Kuroo’s shirt until the older man lifts his arms and lets Tsukki take the offending clothing off of him. He takes a moment to admire Kuroo’s body, no longer afraid of making his appreciation obvious.

“Maybe you should take off your pants,” Tsukki says after a minute. 

It takes Kuroo an honest to god thirty seconds before he even registers Tsukki’s request. He can't even come up with a swift response for all the interrobangs filling his mind. He's never hesitated at the phrase  _ take your pants off  _ before. 

“Uh, d'you want to-”

“Shit- do you want? I just came in and needed you, but, do you want to do anything?” Tsukki asks earnestly. His thumb traces circles where it’s settled against Kuroo’s hip.

“Babe, I can't describe how very willing I am to indulge you,” Kuroo affirms, writhing a little at Tsukki’s touch, “I was just going to ask, bed? Or, or right here?”

Tsukki sighs, relieved before smirking a little.

“I can’t ride you standing up, can I?” he asks, his voice low and rough.

Kuroo opens his mouth, but before anything can come out, Tsukki hooks his long fingers through Kuroo’s belt loops and steers him into the bedroom. He takes off his sweater and shirt, then lays back on the bed, propping himself up on his elbows. His eyes, dark for how large his pupils are, are fixed on Kuroo. 

Kuroo briefly entertains the idea of a body snatcher having attacked Tsukki and sent back an alien in his place. While they  _ have _ gotten more comfortable together since they started, such a display of unprovoked libido is unheard of from the blond. 

He once again realizes that he's been quiet and leering for too long. He crawls over Tsukki, kissing his way up his chest the way he knows Tsukki likes it. He keeps his teeth and tongue to himself for now. 

Tsukki lets his head fall back and he lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. It feels like he might have been holding his breath for  _ days _ , but here, with Kuroo, he can suck in deep, sweet air. He arches his chest up slowly, lazily, a small sound escaping him.

“Mm, I like this,” Kuroo sighs against Tsukki’s skin. He reaches Tsukki’s neck, kisses and licks all his sensitive spots, slow and sweet. 

“‘M glad,” Tsukki moans. He briefly mourns the fact that Kuroo can't mark his neck...except...fuck it. He wants to walk into work smiling like he has a secret. Who the fuck cares if he has hickies? 

“Leave marks,” he says, his voice soft and breathy.

Instead of sinking his teeth in _ immediately _ at that sweet, sweet consent, Kuroo eases off of Tsukki. 

“Are you sure?” he asks, brows raised.

“Fuck, yeah - go wild.”

And so, Kuroo presses his teeth firmly to the meatiest point on Tsukki’s neck and  _ sucks. _

Tsukki cries out, arching up into Kuroo.  _ Why haven't we been doing this all along _ ? He wonders. His eyes flutter closed and he sinks his fingers into Kuroo's hair.

“Fuck,” he moans, “that's- fuck.”

Kuroo hums, satisfied at the affirmation, threads his fingers through Tsukki’s hair and pulls back, exposing his neck. He bites and sucks dark, blooming bruises into Tsukki’s flesh as if sating a deep hunger.

“Fuck, why haven’t we been doing this all along?” Tsukki gasps and,  _ god _ , it’s so good.

Instead of responding, Kuroo just  _ doesn’t stop _ , which only makes Tsukki more weak beneath him. Kuroo keeps sucking, and licking, and sucking  _ and _ licking, with biting - he’s becoming drunk on the sensation, on Tsukki’s reaction, on being able to let loose this way.

“Want you,” he growls against Tsukki’s throat.

“ _ Yes _ ,” Tsukki swoons. His fingers claw at Kuroo’s hair, pulling the older man up to kiss him, hot and rough and desperate.

“F-fuck, I need you to fuck me, Tetsurou,” Tsukki says against Kuroo’s mouth as his hips work up.

“However you want,” Kuroo purrs, then slides his tongue against Tsukki’s. He shudders hard and grinds down, providing sweet sweet friction to both of their clothed, straining cocks. “However you want me, just  _ take it.” _

Tsukki wastes no time and pushes at Kuroo until he can reach the older man's zipper. He pushes at Kuroo's pants, his hands frenzied and uncoordinated.

“Off, off,” he growls.

Kuroo complies, standing for a moment to remove his clothing and then doing the same to both Tsukki’s pants and boxers in one swift motion. 

He crawls onto the bed, up on his knees and really  _ looks  _ at Tsukki since he’s in such a bold mood. His flush is already spreading, the marks on his neck are so very obscene, and his cock is hard and wet.  _ Probably from the hickeys,  _ Kuroo thinks. He licks his lips and lightly touches Tsukki’s thigh. 

Tsukki makes a weak sound at the touch, his legs twitching open. Usually Kuroo looking at him like this makes his stomach squirm, but right now, all he feels is  _ heat _ . 

“S-see something you like?” Tsukki asks, breathing heavy. He can feel the flush works it way down his cheek, and,  _ fuck _ moving his neck makes some of the hickeys pull slightly. That’s going to be  _ interesting _ .

“Mmh. I see a  _ lot _ to like,” Kuroo says, smirking, before descending to bite and suck his favorite bruises to Tsukki’s thigh. 

Tsukki sighs, and he wants so badly to just let Kuroo mark his thighs, but,  _ but _ ! 

“Wait-wait,” he gasps, sitting up and pushing Kuroo back. Kuroo doesn't resist, of course, and wears a slightly puzzled look for a moment. 

“I want you, fuck, _inside_ _me_ ,” Tsukki moans. He reaches over to the nightstand, his movements clumsy, and grabs a glove and Kuroo’s lube. He makes quick work of getting the glove on and spreading lube over his fingers before pressing into himself slowly. He winces a little at the familiar pressure. _It’s been too long_ , he thinks, his mouth falling open and his eyes fluttering closed.

Is this happening? Kuroo got to mark Tsukki’s neck to all hell, openly leer at him, and now the blond is  _ fingering himself _ beneath him?  _ Am I dreaming? _ Kuroo thinks,  _ is this a sex dream that just feels real? _

Oh, but look at that  _ face.  _ Kuroo wonders if Tsukki got any alone time when he was at home. He makes sure to not get in the way but pays attention to Tsukki’s flushed chest and pronounced nipples.

“O- _ oh _ ,” Tsukki gasps, arching his chest as much as he can, “that’s fighting dirty,” he groans. 

His finger twitches, hooked inside of him, and it’s  _ not enough _ , but he wants more of Kuroo on his chest. It’s almost too much pleasure after his dry-spell. He lets himself bask in Kuroo’s attention for another moment before pulling out his finger and pressing in a second. The stretch hurts, it always does at first, but he tries his best to focus on Kuroo.

“Who said anything about  _ fighting _ ?” Kuroo whispers to Tsukki’s ear before sinking his teeth right into the side of his neck.

Tsukki’s retort is swallowed by his scream. His free hand flies up to Kuroo’s hair and  _ pulls _ . Kuroo comes off Tsukki’s neck with a pop. 

“T-this- isn’t- either I’m going to prep m-myself so you can fu-ck me, or- I’m going to come like-like this,” he pants. Normally he would be embarrassed by how quickly he’s probably going to come, but he can’t find it in himself to care with Kuroo over him. 

“Y-you  _ sound _ close,” Kuroo breathes. “can you come twice for me?”

Tsukki gapes up at Kuroo. He’s barely had time to himself in the past week, and he hasn’t even dreamed of touching himself; not in his mother’s house, not in his old room. He crooks his fingers, but he’s at the wrong angle to get to his prostate.

“I-I can try,” he gasps.

“Well don’t  _ try _ ,” Kuroo corrects. He leans down and sucks another deep violet bruise into Tsukki’s neck, and then glides his tongue up and around the shell of Tsukki’s ear to growl, “I’ll take care of you after; wanna fuck you long and hard, babe.”

“Oh-oh fuck,” Tsukki gasps. It’s probably because he hasn’t had an orgasm in over a week, but Kuroo’s words, the new, sharp aches on his neck, his chest, have it crashing over him, making his mind white and his body shake. He can feel heat  _ everywhere _ , but it’s still not  _ enough _ . His cock twitches between their bodies and when he comes back to himself, he can feel his release on his stomach. 

Tsukki whines a little, embarrassment starting to creep into his bones.

Kuroo pulls at Tsukki’s arm until he withdraws from himself, and immediately slides his fingers in Tsukki instead. Tsukki, oversensitive, jolts back, but Kuroo kisses his neck to soothe him. Then he kisses down Tsukki’s body, and licks up all of his come.

Tsukki whines again, turning his head to the side. Soft pain blooms from his marks and he has to gasp for breath.

“F-fuck, just- too much,” he whimpers. It’s still too soon after his orgasm, but, but he  _ wants more _ . He pulls Kuroo up into a shaky kiss, moaning as he tastes himself. 

“Yeah, it’s gonna be,” Kuroo sighs, “but I really want this, so if you really want me to stop…”

Kuroo gently, subtly, slides his fingers over Tsukki’s prostate.

Tsukki screams, his body curling forward. He shakes all over, his eyes clenched shut, and  _ fuckfuckfuck _ , Kuroo barely used any real pressure.

“J-ju-just slow, please,” Tsukki says.

“Mm, sorry,” Kuroo hums, “...take my time then…” He goes back to what he was doing before, fucking Tsukki soft, and slow, and avoiding his prostate, instead opting to ghost circles around Tsukki’s sweet spot on every thrust in. He speaks in a low voice as he muses, “I just missed you, I want to really see you come undone, make you feel good…”

Tsukki is caught between holding his breath and gasping, each sensation overwhelmingly good. When Kuroo says that he missed him, well, Tsukki hides his face in his own shoulder, whining at the tight pressure that’s suddenly in his chest.

“Missed you too,” he whines, chest heaving, “want-fuck, Tetsurou, want you.”

Yes, and  _ this _ is what Kuroo had been thinking of doing the past few days. He can’t help but let a low whine escape him. The neck biting was a surprise treat but this, Tsukki already strung out even though they’ve barely done anything, is what he wanted.

“Want me to what?” He breathes into Tsukki’s shoulder.

“E-everything- want- please,” Tsukki moans. Embarrassment and heat course through him, creating a wanting, devastating sensation. He rolls his hips down onto Kuroo’s fingers, losing his breath at the feeling. “F-fuck me, Tetsurou, fuck, please.”

In a move reminiscent of their first time, Kuroo latches onto Tsukki and rolls, pulling the pliant blond on top of him.  He pulls his fingers out and wipes them on the sheets before pulling Tsukki’s throat down to his mouth and making the blond  _ scream.  _

“Lube,” he purrs against the tender, swollen flesh. 

Tsukki whimpers and reaches for it, pumping some into his hand before reaching back and spreading it over Kuroo’s waiting cock. He lines himself up with fingers trembling from anticipation, and lowers himself slowly.

Kuroo’s cockhead presses insistently, barely breaching Tsukki and all Kuroo’s eyes are falling closed from sheer pleasure. He can hardly think, it’s so hot, so wet, his muscles all tense from how very bare he fee-

“S-shit, condom!” Kuroo blurts, eyes snapping open, clutching Tsukki’s hips in place.

Tsukki stops with a whining growl. His entire body is shaking with the effort of not sinking completely onto Kuroo.

“I-is that...fuck is that okay?” He asks between shaking breaths. He looks at Kuroo, waiting for his answer and hoping that the older man will say “yes”.   
  
Kuroo, in all of his promiscuity (and maybe  _ because _ of his promiscuity), almost never has unprotected sex - usually the anxiety outweighs the pleasure. Though, these days he’s only with Bokuto, Akaashi, and Tsukki, and Tsukki is only with him, Bokuto, and Akaashi, and he got tested again few weeks back when he noticed he’d lost interest in casual sex with new partners…

“Is- if it’s okay for you?”

Tsukki rolls his eyes, although his shaking hands betray just how much he wants this, and sinks down, taking all of Kuroo’s length in one smooth stroke.   
  
Kuroo will never grow tired of the suffocating feeling of being bare inside another man.  He bites his lip,  _ hard _ , and the air escapes him with a small inkling of sound that’s nearly a moan, nearly a sob. His eyes pinch shut, controlling himself and his trembling hips from fucking up into Tsukki’s heat. 

Tsukki has to take a minute to breathe, his fingers clenching on Kuroo’s chest. He feels so fucking  _ full _ and Kuroo’s cock is hot beyond belief, and he fucking  _ loves it _ .

“F-fuck, fuck, Tetsu- are- is this mmm...okay?” Tsukki asks with shallow breaths. He almost feels like if he sucks in a breath that’s too big he’ll burst. His hips twitch a little, making him moan as Kuroo’s cock brushes against his prostate, a teasing promise for later.

Kuroo just whines, low in his throat, and nods. He opens his eyes and they’re nearly black gazing into Tsukki’s. 

“Please…”

It’s not easy to push himself off of Kuroo’s cock with how much his legs are shaking, but he manages before sinking back down, too fast and too slow all at once. This time Kuroo’s cock presses into his prostate, and the sound that rips out of Tsukki is shocking. His nails dig into Kuroo’s shoulders and he repeats the motion, slowly making a rhythm that won’t destroy him.

Kuroo is making harassed little noises, watching Tsukki take his cock so slow, over and over. He studies Tsukki’s face, memorizing what he looks and sounds like, how devastatingly hot it all is. How is this the same man from all those months ago?

It doesn’t take long for Kuroo’s hips to gently meet Tsukki’s thrusts. The blond shifts back, his hands clenching Kuroo’s muscular thighs instead of his chest. The new position forces Tsukki’s lovely marked chest out, as if he’s displaying himself, truly exhibiting himself for Kuroo.

“Fuck, Kei, so fucking amazing,” Kuroo moans. He can’t even bring himself to care that he can’t move with Tsukki in this position, it all just feels too good.

“I- Te-surou, I need, I fucking,” Tsukki breaks off with a whine. He can’t fuck himself quickly, the position doesn’t allow for it, so he compensates by making his rhythm slow and deep, gasps breaking each time Kuroo’s cock presses against his prostate.

“I’m not- I’m- Tetsurou, I, I need to c-come,” Tsukki nearly begs, and Kuroo is helpless to do anything but stroke Tsukki’s cock, teasing his slit with every twisting stroke up and down.

Tsukki doesn’t manage to gasp in a full breath before he’s coming with a long shout. He feels the tension from his shoulders evaporate. He just barely manages to push himself forward, collapsing on top of Kuroo and gasping for breath.

“T-that- you-  _ thank you _ ,” he moans, kissing Kuroo’s neck, his jaw, anywhere the blond can reach without too much effort.

“Mm, always, but…”  Kuroo tightens his grip on Tsukki’s hips and grinds his cock deeper, “can I...continue?”

Tsukki sucks in a stuttering gasp, clenching around Kuroo. He manages to say “Yes” before nuzzling back into Kuroo’s neck, kissing the flesh lazily. He wants to stay there forever. Then he feels Kuroo’s arms around him and next thing he knows he’s being fucked harder than he’s been in recent memory. Kuroo is panting wildly as he repeatedly slams into Tsukki hard and fast, offering a litany of  _ Kei, I’m close, just a little more,  _ and finally,  _ yes. _

It seems like a long time ago that Tsukki would have tried to stay quiet, but after being so quiet at his family’s home, he strains his throat with the sounds he makes. He whines when the friction starts to become too much. They’ve gone bareback before, but, after such a long week of repressing himself, having Kuroo’s release inside of him is... He shivers at the thought, the slightly forbidden feeling crawls over his skin and he can’t help but smile into Kuroo’s neck. He likes it a lot.

“I think I spoke too soon,” Tsukki mutters, pushing himself up so that he can look down at Kuroo. He can feel the blissed out smile on his face and doesn’t even care, “I should have waited to thank you.”

“I don’t think there’s ever a limit on thanking anyone,” Kuroo pants with a smirk, “or at least, that’s what my mom always used to tell me.” Tsukki’s face scrunches and he pulls off the older man.

“You did not just mention your mother while inside me,” he groans, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. Kuroo laughs, loud and unashamed, rolling over to kiss Tsukki’s hands.

“Don’t worry, Kei, you won’t have to meet her,” the older man chuckles, kissing over and over until a laugh bubbles out of Tsukki’s chest and he moves his hands away.

“Is that a promise, Tetsurou?” the blond asks, half serious. Kuroo leans down to kiss him, using the moment to think over the answer, to phrase it right. 

“I, Kuroo Tetsurou, promise to savor and cherish you, but only in the least romantic way possible,” Kuroo says, voice stern for all the humor dancing in his eyes. He can’t manage the facade for long, a smile cracking his poker face. “I like spending time with you, having sex with you, even not having sex with you,” he leans down and kisses Tsukki and it’s almost too gentle.

“Is there a but coming?” Tsukki whispers. He’s not sure what to call these kind of moments they have. They’re not...they’re not romantic, but so so intimate. 

“But I do not want to date you. I don’t want to introduce you to my parents. I don’t want to settle down and grow old with you,” Kuroo says, his eyes serious this time. 

“Thanks for letting me come over,” is all Tsukki can think to say. He feels raw, open and exposed, but with Kuroo that’s not such a scary feeling anymore.

“Thanks for letting me come in you,” Kuroo tries to purr, but it’s ruined by his own snort-laugh. Tsukki groans again, pushing Kuroo away and sitting up. He makes sure to clench (he doesn’t want to make any more of a mess than he has) while he maneuvers off the bed. It doesn’t really work. 

“You know, in the moment, the coming inside me thing is great, but I don’t think I want to do it all the time,” he says on his way to Kuroo’s bathroom. 

While it was happening, it was fine, and, well, last time, when Kuroo had helped him  _ clean up _ , that was great, but he can’t say he really cares for the leaking and wet feeling now. 

“I’d rather not make a habit of it,” he calls as he cleans himself up, “so it’s birthdays and special occasions only.”

“That’s fine, I’m more than happy to use condoms,” Kuroo says, standing and stretching, “Though, birthdays and special occasions? Like anniversaries?” He waltzes into the bathroom, wrapping his arms around Tsukki’s lean waist and propping his chin on the Tsukki’s shoulder. “Awful domestic, dont’cha think?”

“Shut up and get in the shower,” Tsukki says, rolling his eyes. The sarcasm feels warm and welcome under his skin; it eases some of the vulnerable ache.

“And miss your face when you finally pay attention to my work?” Kuroo asks, affronted, “I think not.”

“What the hell are you--” Tsukki goes to look at Kuroo in the mirror and catches sight of himself fully for the first time. “Holy shit,” he breathes, eyes wide at just how bruises his neck is. Purple and red bloom along the sides, and he can actually see some teeth marks.

“Yeah?” Kuroo kisses Tsukki’s neck where one of the worst ones is blooming, “Good?”

“They’re great,” Tsukki says, reaching up and touching the bruises on the other side of his neck with soft, almost reverent fingers.

“Oh, fuck, but I’m fucked for work!” Tsukki says after a second, scowling and pinching the bridge of his nose.

Kuroo opens the medicine cabinet and directs Tsukki’s attention to the top shelf, full of makeup not only in his tan skin tone and darker, but in shades as pale as and paler than Tsukki.

“I’ve got you covered.”

**Author's Note:**

> We have 9 chapters written and also five spinoffs in this series it only gets more kinky and sinful and we're only a little sorry
> 
> please subscribe?


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